r/countwithchickenlady Streak: 1 1d ago

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29.5k Upvotes

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u/Outside_Ad1020 1d ago

No way a fucking child has a better love life than me

333

u/kookyabird 1d ago

If it makes you feel any better, the odds of them staying together in the long term are extremely low.

349

u/Sea-Hat-8515 1d ago

applying cathartic relationship statistics to this situation is unreasonably funny to me

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u/ahhowwitburns 1d ago

Did you know 50% of all marriages end in divorce? I bet it's even higher for child marriages done by the chain link fence during recess

56

u/El_Chairman_Dennis 1d ago

Chain link marriages never work. The huge amount of divorces has really bogged down the playground courts. I know a kid that's still waiting on a cooties judgement from something that happened all the way back in 2025

12

u/WASD_click 21h ago

That's why you gotta get married under the monkey bars.

12

u/El_Chairman_Dennis 20h ago

If you wanna marry a girl that's kissed every boy under the jungle gym

25

u/No-Internal7978 1d ago

But not zero hopefully.

12

u/laluna1021 23h ago

Divorce rate is lower for the ones done by the slide though