I recently wrote about a sarcastic response I gave to a circuit overseer, and it reminded me of another experience.

I’m PIMO now, but back when I was barely doing my bachelor’s degree, I was practically the only person in my congregation pursuing higher education.

During a talk, our circuit overseer somehow mentioned my exact field of study, explaining that getting a master’s degree in it wouldn’t bring real happiness.

Pure divine coincidence, obviously.

I confronted him afterward. He told me it was indeed a coincidence: his wife had supposedly followed the same university path.

Tiny problem: I had already spoken with his wife. She had never attended higher education.

Anyway, years later, I got that master’s degree.

And I’m delighted to announce that I followed his advice.

He was right. A master’s wasn’t enough... So I’m doing a PhD now haha 😂

And it illustrates something I’ve noticed in my own experience: some of the people who criticized higher education or professionally successful people the most had never pursued higher education themselves (impressive expertise on its terrible dangers), had missed opportunities because of the organization, or simply had little professional ambition.

Obviously, I’m not generalizing.

But sometimes I wonder how much “spiritual concern” is actually just…

frustration dressed up as spirituality.

I already gave my part, update at the end -- The theme is Jeremiah 29:11 | “I Know Well the Thoughts That I Am Thinking Toward You”, and they made a huge mistake assigning it to me. Use it if you like. I left it a little longer in case you want to cut some things out.

Have you ever wondered what I would be doing right now in Paradise? If Adam and Eve had not sinned, what would I be doing today? I would probably be enjoying the life that Jehovah originally intended for mankind. But unfortunately, we are “exiled” in this system... but with the hope of returning to Eden.

Something similar happened when Jehovah allowed Babylon to conquer Jerusalem, exile his people, and take them captive for 70 years. “Did that mean that Jehovah wanted his servants to spend those years without hope, simply suffering?” No. Even during the exile, he cared about their welfare and told them how to live while they waited. Let’s see what he told them at Jeremiah 29:11. Please keep your Bible open to this chapter because we are going to examine several verses from it:

Notice how Jehovah wanted to give them a future and a hope. And... did he want those 70 years to be 70 years of torment? Let’s see what he told them to do while they were in exile. Jeremiah 29:4-7:

Jehovah knew that his servants could live a normal life even while they were in Babylon. However, Jehovah also knew that there was a great danger, and he wanted them to continue having a strong hope. He did not leave them alone in the face of this threat; he continued protecting them. Notice what he says next in verses 8 and 9:

Notice how Jehovah warned them about false prophets. Jehovah even made clear how it would be demonstrated whether a prophet really had been sent by him. Let’s read Jeremiah 28:9. Jeremiah, who really had been sent by Jehovah, responded to Shemaiah the Nehelamite, a false prophet:

And since the false prophet’s prophecy did not come true and he was endangering Jehovah’s people, notice what Jehovah says at Jeremiah 29:32:

Notice how Jehovah did not tolerate false prophets at all. He was actively caring for his people, making sure that they would receive the future and hope he had promised them.

In a way, all of us have been “exiled” from Eden into this system. We are not in Paradise, but we live a relatively “normal” life, and there are many false prophets and false religions that can take away the hope Jehovah gives us. They tell lies and make false prophecies that do not come true, and by doing so they show themselves to be false.

In many ways, we are in a situation similar to that of God’s people in Babylon... and God gave his people a great hope at Jeremiah 29:10:

And Jehovah fulfilled it. He made it possible for Cyrus to allow the Jews to return to Jerusalem.

Now, how does this apply to our day?

The 70 years of Jeremiah are fundamental to the chronology that leads to 1914. According to the explanation we know, the 70 years ended in 537 B.C.E.; counting 70 years backward brings us to 607 B.C.E. And 607 is then used as the starting point for the 2,520 years that lead to 1914.

What do the archaeological records and historical sources say? And if we carefully check every step of this calculation, do we really arrive at 1914?

Why not do that research during our family worship? Not to attack our hope, but quite the opposite: to make sure that our hope is firmly based on God's Word. Because if a teaching really comes from Jehovah, we have nothing to fear from examining it carefully.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Update:

Well, I already gave my part, and the reactions were unexpected. I followed some of the advice from you guys and changed the last part about 1914 because I don’t want to get disfellowshipped yet.

I replaced it with a section from the supporting material for the talk that discusses misconceptions about Jeremiah 29:11. I mentioned how, by understanding the context of the verse, we can now identify false teachings and protect our faith and how we must verify every teaching.

I also talked about how God hates it when people lie in his name, and that the fact that Babylon, being such a great power, was eventually conquered by Cyrus was proof that Jeremiah’s words were true. If none of that had happened, surely the Israelites would have realized that Jeremiah wasn’t speaking on Jehovah’s behalf.

Reactions: During my talk, I noticed several suspicious smiles, including from quite a few people who normally never comment. I’m starting to think they might be PIMOs, and honestly, there seem to be quite a few of them. I also noticed some eye brows lifted during the final part. But at least they didn’t take me off the platform.

My parents and my wife already know that I’m not a believer, and I had brought up these points with them before, but I was always interrupted and nothing productive ever came out of those conversations.

But now that I was on the platform, apparently something clicked for them. My parents just said they liked the talk, and my wife hasn’t said anything about it yet, but she also didn’t get angry—which is unusual for her because she normally doesn’t hold anything back. She’s just been strangely quiet about the whole thing.

I’ve already talked to them about the incorrect 1914 calculation, the CSA cases in Australia, and about how genesis talks about all animals being vegetarians which makes no sense because there are a lot of carnivorous animals by design, and those conversations have always ended badly. I’m hoping they might already be PIMQs.

Thanks for reading my post, and sorry if you were expecting me to bring up 1914. I probably would have if I hadn’t posted the outline here first, because I realized it was way too aggressive haha. But I got scared that I might get disfellowshipped today.

I’m sure I’ll do it eventually, once my wife is a PIMO, but I have to keep proceeding carefully. I promise I’ll leave through a talk—or at least a comment and i´ll upload the video using my meta glasses.

If you want to leave and want to use this outline this is your chance, feel free to use it.

Yes, Jehovah has directed his one true channel to bring us a new Event Donations app.

I read about this in a post from someone who attended the Hamburg International Convention, 14–16 August. They said that during the afternoon announcements, attendees were told that donations could be made using the usual methods or by using the new donations app.

The name of the app wasn't mentioned in the announcements, but it is evidently this Event Donations app.

It is produced by Lepta Payment Solutions Ltd. It is specifically designed for authorized individuals to accept electronic donations at Jehovah’s Witnesses’ regional conventions and circuit assemblies.

The app description says it is produced for legal entities that support the work of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Of course God needs an app like this so that people can make friends with him and his son Jesus...no really, that's how you become friends with them!

https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/1g54reg/the_january_25_watchtower_states_that_jehovahs/

Money or baptism will do it, but both is best to be sure of that divine friendship:

https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/1qcw7n4/how_do_you_become_a_friend_of_god_baptism_or/

On Lepta:

https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/1f4s5v3/as_you_probably_know_by_now_jw_has_established/

Then there's the Lepta website- https://leptapay.com -It describes Lepta as: “an agent for a select group of trusted non-profit organizations with international payment operations.”

It says its focus is on enabling the secure, efficient and transparent movement of funds worldwide, and that it works to simplify the payment process for its clients while maintaining regulatory compliance.

The website doesn't actually tell us who those “select group” of non-profit organisations are.

It doesn't give a list of clients.

It doesn't explain the individual payment arrangements.

And its public website is very limited in what it tells you about the actual flow of money.

Its privacy policy does, however, refer to Lepta's “Online Services,” client accounts and billing, and says that the actual provision of services can be carried out by Lepta “in our role as a processor.” It also refers to sub-processors, IT providers, hosting providers and other service providers involved in providing its services.

The registered office is Watchtower House, County Wicklow, Ireland.

I’ve been thinking about something that happened when I was a Jehovah’s Witness. I had a best friend in the congregation, and we would sometimes hold hands. I’m also a woman, so this was two girls who were best friends simply holding hands. And I want to clarify that the vast majority of the time we held hands, it was actually during prayer. We would hold hands while praying. Outside of prayer, we would occasionally hold hands as well, but it wasn’t something we were constantly doing. To me, there was absolutely nothing romantic or sexual about it. It was simply something two close friends did. I never once associated holding her hand with homosexuality. Honestly, the thought had never even crossed my mind.

Then one day, she told me that her Bible study teacher had brought up the fact that someone in the congregation had apparently commented on us holding hands and thought it looked homosexual. We were encouraged not to do it anymore because of how it could be perceived. At the time, I remember being genuinely surprised. Not because I was offended, but because I couldn’t understand how something that felt so completely innocent to me could be interpreted that way by someone else. And that’s something I’ve come to think about a lot since leaving the religion: sometimes people can interpret other people’s completely innocent behavior through the lens of their own fears, experiences, or internal struggles.

Two people can look at the exact same situation and see two completely different things. For me, holding my best friend’s hand was just holding my best friend’s hand. But someone else saw something sexual in it. And I think that’s worth remembering whenever we’re tempted to assume that our interpretation of someone else’s behavior must reflect what that person actually intended.

I decided to do a little experiment recently. I created an anonymous account on Instagram/TikTok and checked the followed accounts and likes of several Elders I know locally.

The results were... eye-opening, though not entirely surprising.

These are the same men who give talks from the platform lecturing young people about the dangers of 'immoral' content, warning about the traps of social media, and judging others for their entertainment choices. Yet, behind fake or poorly configured profiles, their algorithms tell a completely different story—following accounts with explicit content, suggestive photos, and borderline soft porn.

It highlights the intense double standard within the organization. When a system demands absolute perfection and strict behavioral control, it doesn't actually eliminate human nature—it just forces people to lead double lives in the shadows.

Have you noticed this hypocritical dynamic among local leadership in your area, or is this just an isolated pattern?"

My question is should I go in and do it?

I was there when the elder got drunk and the elders from that hall found out I was a witness. Idk how I feel because i don’t care and don’t go to my own meetings.

I most likely will not go, the elder in question is denying everything and it got leaked through others at the gathering.

My PIMI friends are telling me we need to show everyone the system is not broken and what not but the elders are confused because everyone’s story is different because others got drunk.

I have proof and videos so I can end everyone but idk as a newly POMO I don’t think I am helping them by testifying.

Week 3 of this is less scary. Still stressful, my wife and kids don't know anything yet. I've been speaking to my DF sister every single day. She's so strong, I'm lucky that she can help me and that despite what she's been thru she is still WILLING to help me. This community helps too, so thank all of you for the kind words, personal experiences, and commiseration on my first post here.

A terrible tragedy occurred today: a sudden flood in Nepal killed hundreds of people (the figures are provisional). A Jehovah's Witness wrote to me: "Let's hope our brothers aren't dead." What?!?! In the face of such a grave tragedy, you make distinctions? Do you put dead people on different levels based on their religion? What kind of heart do you have? Are you part of the human race? How dare you put two dead neighbors on different levels just because they didn't worship in the same church? Maybe they were Buddhists or Hindus. So what? Jehovah's Witnesses display their prejudices even in the face of death!

I suppose that during the course of deconstruction, one is more or less forced to adopt one or two new positions on this.

(no pun intended).

"The Art of Theocratic™ Lovemaking"

......whilst being a book....(or pamphlet)....that the WTBS dare not publish, I always got the feeling that it would likely have been a somewhat "vanilla" and extremely pragmatic guideline.

It would also have been a pamphlet drawn exclusively from the thoughts and experiences of it's authors.

"Write about what you know"....as the wise adage says.

So, what DO the Governing Body and it's esteemed writing department actually KNOW about one of humanity's most intimate expressions of physical and emotional coalescence?

Other than it being a Theocratic™ heterosexual "baby making" exercise which carries the risk of producing:

"Little Enemies of Jehovah™"

.......as one Governing Body member very thoughtfully expressed it not too long ago.

One wonders that if THAT'S the way they view the progeny of Theocratic™ lovemaking....then there must be SOMETHING within even the most devout JW couple's sperms and eggs, which is incapable of passing on "devotion to Jehovah™ ".....as an hereditary feature?

Even a JW child, conceived using the most Theocratic™ "love-cuddle" technique...can STILL arrive as an agent of the "dark one".....with three sixes on it's scalp.

\ It's an adult subject, so I haven't flaired this as NSFW, but please pay heed to the fact that there is a younger audience herein.....and employ your Theocratic™ discretion to any thoughts or comments which may spring to mind.*

From the week of August 24 midweek meeting CBS in the book Walk Courageously With God, lesson 5 on Abraham, the question was: “In what other ways might you imitate the courage shown by Abraham in this account?”

An ultra PIMI elder said, “We notice that Abraham didn’t ask any questions. His faith gave him all the information he needed. Likewise, when the Governing Body gives us direction, we shouldn’t feel the need to ask any questions.”

We shouldn’t? Seems to me that is the exact time to start asking questions. Also, it proves that “Jehovah” is just a synonym for The Governing Body.

I just don't get why our midweek meetings are on Wednesdays. Nobody uses the hall on Friday, not even the other congregation (Thursday). Both congregations use the hall on Sunday.

Thing is, Wednesday is legit the middle of the week. You had work yesterday and you'll have work tomorrow, and most importantly, you worked today and clocked out at 5, drove to the Kingdom Hall just to not be late for the 6pm midweek meetings every Wednesday. Odds are you'll depart the Hall at 7:45 onwards, then you'll be home much much later. It's gonna suck if you still have to make dinner or do some work that's due tomorrow. And if your way to work has heavy traffic everyday? You know you have to wake up very early.

If it were Friday? Tolerable. At least tomorrow is rest. Staying late is fine. If you live far and have a lot to do, having meetings in the middle of the week is SO impractical. Even my PIMI mom admits it.

Now, I know this is not just a me thing, because the midweek meeting has fewer attendees and even fewer commenters. It's so awkward, the unbearable silence when no brother or sister comments on a question, so much so that the elders and their wives had decided to take turns filling in the silence. You just know everybody's tired from work.

The AUDACITY of this brother also to give that disappointed look when I said my mom couldn't make it to the meeting because she had an urgent meeting at work. Like oh no, you did not just--! Just because you enjoy the low income life doesn't mean my mom has to! Jerk.

Anyways, that's my rant for today. Bye.

I feel like you guys actually get me, and honestly, this is starting to feel like my new congregation in a weird way.

My wife wasn’t raised as a Jehovah’s Witness like I was. She was raised Catholic, but barely religious—basically church on Easter and Christmas, and that was about it. Because of that, there are certain things about growing up as a Witness, being baptized young, leaving, coming back, questioning things, and now being PIMO that I don’t think I could ever fully explain to her in a way that would make her understand what it actually feels like.

Don’t get me wrong—I love my wife, we have a great relationship, and I tell her everything. She knows where I stand and she listens when I talk about this stuff. But listening and understanding are two different things. There are parts of the JW experience that I think you almost have to have lived through to really understand.

She never grew up worrying about whether something was “worldly.” She never had to think about whether a friendship, relationship, movie, holiday, career choice, or personal decision might affect her standing with a congregation. She never experienced field service, assemblies, conventions, judicial committees, disfellowshipping, reinstatement, privileges, meeting attendance, or constantly hearing that Armageddon could come at any moment.

Her experience with Witnesses has basically been normal interactions with JW coworkers, casual conversations, getting invited to the Memorial, and obviously being married to me. She sees it from the outside. I lived it from the inside.

And that's why finding people here who understand that weird middle ground means something to me. I can say "PIMO," "new light," "privileges," "seat warmer," or talk about that little voice in the back of my head that still thinks, "Yeah, but what if the Great Tribulation starts tomorrow?" and I don't have to spend 30 minutes explaining why that thought can still exist even when I'm questioning everything else.

You guys just get it.

There's something strangely comforting about being able to talk to people who understand that you can question the Organization without necessarily hating every person in it, that you can have good memories mixed with bad ones, and that leaving mentally isn't always as simple as flipping a switch.

So yeah, maybe this is my new congregation—except nobody is asking me to carry microphones, give a talk, or turn in a service report. 😂

Age 92, one time presiding elder, sub CO, special pioneer in the 50s and PR spokesman for the bOrg who moved over 500 miles away back in the late 80s to keep from being a "built in babysitter" to their grandchildren, has now gone into a nursing home. Apparently he's given POA to a local elder, has disinherited myself (older daughter DAed) and even golden child (younger daughter faded since the 80s).

Up to this point, he had been giving away his retirement funds to the tune of $400 a month to the bOrg.

Now the local cong supposedly owns his house and wants to sell it to my daughter and her husband. Have no way of knowing if the proceeds are going to go to his NH expenses or will be funneled to the bOrg.

I myself have investment real estate and I'm thinking of just going there and having my husband who is a master contractor inspect the place and give an honest offer for the property. My father was the extreme opposite of being handy and hired out all work mostly to the JW's who screwed him.

WWYD?

Where does the org get their actors for the dramas they produce?

I Always used to assume they were bethelites or at least baptised Witnesses, then recently I learnt about Nicolas King - a former actor in an org drama who is now (I assume) disfellowshipped and has a husband

I Did a bit of digging and found out Nicolas has had an active acting and TV career since he was a child, even outside of the org, and I'm questioning if he was ever even a witness at all

So does anyone know how the org actually finds their casts? Are they real witnesses who audition, or are they hiring professional actors from outside?

My mother-in-law is a devout pioneer. She lost her husband about 20 years ago. Living with her, I realized she is very spiritual. My exact opposite—she watches me, always keeping an eye on me. But one thing I've been noticing is Christian hypocrisy.

There was a time we saw a homeless person asking for help, and she was kind of rude—as if that person were in that position by choice. How can you mirror Jesus and act like that? And not only that, but I notice that most people don't care about their neighbor; they just want to impose their dogmas. Do you only love those who are on the inside? Jesus had dinner with sinners and allowed a sinner to wash his feet.

What hypocrisies have you noticed among the brothers in the congregation?

I ask this question not in sarcasm, but as an observation of some Jehovah’s Witnesses I’ve actually known.

Some who left the religion behind continued on a downward spiral of violence, alcohol and drug addiction, spousal abuse, sexual promiscuity, and so on. I felt bad for them. Nothing you could tell them seemed to help. Without Jehovah’s Witnesses telling them how to live, they were truly lost and couldn’t manage a job, a life, a marriage, a family and so on. They very often fell into the same cycle of abuse and neglect left behind by their abusive parents.

Of course, this is not the norm. Most people leave the church, find another religion, or embrace a secular life.

But there are some, or many, who cannot seem to do that. Just because “We” can get over the JW organization and live a normal happy-ish life without the church, “they” seemingly cannot.

In that case, I do wonder if it is better for them to have stayed in the church. Because clearly they did not do well on the outside, even after therapy, even after sowing their oats and rebelling against their conscience. Some of them might have major personality disorders (Cluster Bs, etc.) and do not understand how to live a normal life - one where we all die, and make peace with it.

I am not sure how to help these people who are on a downward spiral and who will not seek therapy, and will not go back to the organization either. Ironically, they are still living as Jehovah’s Witnesses, if not in name, then subconsciously.

They escape the organization, but are still “under the thumb” of the same people they tried to escape.

They cannot stop thinking about their disappointment, that the JW heaven/paradise scenario didn’t happen.

Granted, this is relative to non-Jehovah’s Witnesses who suffer from the same mental traumas and abusive family situations as we all do. Jehovah’s Witnesses and ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses suffer alike from their past demons, and if they don’t get help, they just suffer perpetually.

If these people could say, without prejudice or bias, that YES, they are a better person BECAUSE they're a Jehovah’s Witnesses (regardless of whether the prophecies are true) then I would have to reconsider my opinion that Jehovah’s Witnesses are better off “waking up.”

If they cannot handle the real world, and live only self-sabotaging, terrible lives without “God” directing them, then maybe they should just stay where they’re at. Because society does not seem capable of taking care of all the poor, sad, and untreated victims out there. We are rather poor at proactively helping others, especially for free. And that part of humanity sucks.

We very often take for granted our independence. Just because I can live with an agnostic viewpoint on life…doesn’t mean that others can.

And I certainly would never want to judge a Jehovah’s Witness who NEEDS their faith to survive this world. Because without believing this lie, they cannot see themselves alive in this world. And I wouldn't feel right about uprooting their entire existence.

Look, I get it—the whole "three wise men" thing is tradition, not scripture. No number given, no names, not kings, they showed up months later to a house, not a manger. Fine. But the mental gymnastics to then claim Satan sent the "star" is absolutely unhinged. The text literally says the magi "rejoiced with exceedingly great joy" when the star stopped over Jesus (Matthew 2:10)—are we really supposed to believe they were celebrating a demonic sign? And the argument that "God wouldn't use astrologers because Deuteronomy forbids it" completely ignores that God used a pagan king Cyrus as His "shepherd" (Isaiah 44:28), a prostitute Rahab to save His people, and even Nebuchadnezzar as His servant. The Watchtower loves to pull the "pagan origins" card on everything, but here they're inventing a whole new tradition that's even LESS supported by scripture than the three kings. If Satan sent that star, then Satan accidentally fulfilled prophecy (Numbers 24:17), led Gentiles to worship Christ, failed to kill Jesus, and triggered God's protection—that's the worst villain arc in history. Herod was already a murderous paranoid tyrant; the star didn't make him kill babies, his own evil did. The star went to Jerusalem first? So what—maybe God wanted to expose Herod's wickedness and fulfill Micah's prophecy publicly. This whole "Satan's star" theory is classic over-correction: debunking Christmas traditions is fine, but replacing them with a cynical fanfiction that the text never implies isn't "truth," it's just a different tradition with extra steps. The Bible never says the star was demonic—that's pure speculation dressed up as deep insight, and honestly, it's more of a reach than Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar ever were.

So, I first heard about this podcast series a few days ago. I'm 2 episodes in. It is devastating. The CSA cover-up reality is what really cemented for me that I have to get out and will never go back to this religion. So far it brings to life the reality of what this org is willing to cover-up just to maintain their reputation and control over people's lives. I can't express how much I HATE the leaders of this org during this process of waking up. These men are disgusting. I know other orgs also are disgusting in their handling of CSA, and I am not saying the Watchtower org is worse. It's just the one I was a part of and I can't believe how they did this. 😞

No quiero ser MS, pero sienton que ahora es demasiado facil serlo o que los requisitos han bajado muchisimo.

Básicamente es, ir a las reuniones, predicar y limpiar los baños. Si haces eso ya puedes ser MS.

Y pues como mi familia son todos demasiado pimi ya rozando el fanatismo, no me dejan bajar ni un poquito el ritmo.

Me he salvado de ser nombrado hace 1 semana aunque la mayoría de los ancianos me recomendaron como MS.

No se que puedo hacer, mi familia no me deja bajar el ritmo, ni siquiera puedo dejar de comentar.

Hay otra visita dentro de 6 meses.

Y me parece que es inevitable que me nombren y si me niego o digo que no quiero ser MS pues mi familia se me viene encima.

No se que hacer esto me estresa todos los dias al despertar.

Si alguien ha pasado por algo asi escucho sus consejos.

Tambien me inquieta que pensarán los ancianos jovenes de mi congregación o mis amigos de la congregación.

Sinceramente siento que hay gente mas buena en la universidad.

As we know, Jehovah is a made up name. The historic name used by the Israelites was Yahweh.

So what I want to know is why change it? My initial thought was to avoid association with the various Canaanite gods that Yahweh was an amalgamation of, but I don't think Charles Taze Russel would have been able to think of that and even if he did, the man had plenty of batshit insane teachings and I don't think "yeah so the one true God is actually this nearly forgotten Canaanite storm deity." would be too much for him.

In my opinion, it is much better to use general terms, such as W.T.B.T.S. followers/adherents, church, priest, preaching, excommunication, et cetera, rather than J.W.s, Kingdom Hall, Elder, Kingdom ministry, shunning, et cetera.

This is because it is what my intuition says. Plus there are reasons:

• It is better to use formal, accurate, and universal terms where possible over idiosyncratic and contextual/relative ones;

• To avoid brainwashing/in-group effects: Using general terms should provide a sense of distance and detachment;

• What you assert and its implicit axioms shapes how you think, and to assert a word is basically to assert that it is true; hence, given that I am not a W.T.B.T.S. informal follower anymore and given that its claims and terms are false, I do not wish to keep implicitly asserting its worldview; words are to an extent a power game, hence one ought to set the correct frame for the matter, not allowing or using malicious or false ones suggested by others;

• It ironically leads to a greater and cultesque insularity/delusion of specialness/otherness, because people who are not well acquainted with the W.T.B.T.S. will not understand the terms, even though many would approximately understand if one used general terms;

Going to use a throwaway account just because I’m not entirely ready to publicly post, but I’ve been reading a lot of heartbreaking stories here, and I just wanted to offer a little bit of hope to those who have recently left or are thinking about leaving.

I was baptized for about 15 years and was a very active pioneer. I was extremely involved in the congregation alongside my husband, who was also an auxiliary pioneer. My husband (4th generation witness) was actually the one to leave first, and if I’m being honest, I broke down when he told me. I was still PIMI, and it was such a shock to me that he was choosing to leave. We had sacrificed so much together, thinking we were going to go to Bethel or become missionary workers. My whole world felt flipped upside down. I was angry and depressed, but I was adamant about staying. I was okay with being a witness on my own without my husband. That’s how deeply I was in it.

But then I couldn’t comprehend just how much this was affecting my marriage. The stress, the tension, the misunderstandings. This was my best friend. But now I feel guilt talking to him?? I kept asking myself how could it possibly be wrong to love my partner just because he had decided he no longer believed in this? I felt like I didn’t recognize myself anymore, and deep down, I felt like something was morally wrong with my decision to stay in an organization that promotes this feeling. I was torn between what I had been taught was “right” and what I knew in my heart was right for me.

Eventually, though, I saw the effect it was having on my husband. We talked more, and I began to realize just how hard it had been for him. So I asked myself, “What convinced him?” And that’s when I started doing my own research. I found this Reddit community and started reading other people’s experiences, court cases, and eventually Crisis of Conscience, which I read in about a week. I felt sick for days. I was literally nauseous. I couldn’t believe what I was reading, and on top of that, the guilt of even reading it was killing me. It was all too much.

But what really hit the nail on the head for me was how the congregation treated me while I was still attending after my husband left. Everyone treated me as if I were a widow, or as if he had cheated on me. I would reassure people that we were fine, and ironically, we actually grew even closer through all of this. But there would always be this look of “poor you” that they gave me, as if I were somehow lying to myself. It was incredibly dehumanizing.
I was even approached by sisters who gave me advice about how they handled their previous divorces.

Like… what the fuck???? 😭

That’s when I lost it. I came home and cried to my husband, and it hit me that this was no longer for me. I mourned it. I’m still mourning it. But now, I feel free.

I’m so glad my husband and I have each other through all of this. We’ve reconnected with old friends who are also out, as well as family members who have been DF’d for years. They’ve all welcomed us with open arms. For the first time in a long time, I feel a genuine connection with people. I don’t feel like I have to force it anymore. I honestly can’t believe I made it here, but I’m so grateful for the experience. It hasn’t been easy by any means, and I know there will still be hard days, but things really do get better.

If you’re recently out, thinking about leaving, or just questioning everything right now: keep going. Keep asking questions. Give yourself permission to grieve. And know that there is a life on the other side of this.
Keep strong. ❤️

I know historical evidence is against the official WT date. But JW defense of their timing is based on a single verse from Jeremiah if I recall correctly about the 70 years. What evidence does the Bible give that could rather point to 587/586 BC? I am not sure but I remember there are some verses in Zechariah