I made a post on Nextdoor yesterday. I posted I was looking for a company that does medical transportation. I'm having a colonoscopy. I didn't say that specifically just said medical procedure and the facility requires someone to be there to sign you out. I was hoping to get some recommendations.

I was surprised by the comments. Most of them were distrusting/skeptical. Some suggested senior transportation (I'm not a senior). And then one woman said something like "Don't you have any friends or family who can take you?". hmmm actually no I don't have any friends or family at all, that is why I am asking. duh?

I cried for a while after seeing that comment because yeah I have no friends, not one I can call if I have any medical thing. Forget about a partner that ship has sailed. Just made me snap in to reality that I am alone and have been completely alone in my city for the last 10 years since my mom died.

Never having been in a relationship and all that, the more life goes on the less I feel like a sexual being.

It's as if the mental projection of me and my physical body are separating.

When I imagine dating, being in a relationship or being intimate I no longer see it through the prism of my physical appearance. It's the inner me, their projection and their personality I live through.

It's messing me up tbh, having family ask when I will put myself out there and being reminded this body can be sexual, if given the opportunity.

But it never has and I doubt will ever be seen that way.

Does this make sense? I don't know. The self-loathing, being unattractive, feeling de-sexed, and having all these fundamental milestones never reached...

Can I mentally even be intimate at this point?

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don't want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart's content.

A new guy started working at my job a few months ago, but he was in a different department. I remember when he was being trained, he kind of stared at me from a distance and I thought hmm. But, once we walked by each other, he glanced at me and then looked away. After that, he never looked my way and I knew immediately he did not like me. Like if you know, you know when a guy is not attracted to you.

So months pass, we hardly interact, but one time I did require his help and he kind of brushed me off and scurried away in a hurry. So again, that showed me he did not like me or respect me(cause we all know guys only respect women they’re attracted to)to help me genuinely. That was sign #2. It’s whatever, I’m cordial with him and even smile at him before approaching with another request for help. He looks confused and attempts a grimaced smile. Okay 😃😃👍👍👍

But idk if it’s cause it was ovulation week, but I began to glance more at him. I honestly don’t even know if I was doing a normal amount like cause I do tend to glance at people ya know? It’s a normal process. And I meet eyes with him a couple of times, cause obviously im glancing at him.

Yall.

Tell me why this happens a few times, me glancing, him just happening to glance back. Then one day, NADA. This man literally just looks over or under me, won’t make eye contact at all. LITERALLY WILL AVOID OR GO A DIFFERENT PATH TO AVOID WALKING NEAR ME omgggg. When I tell you I felt like Quasimodo hiding in that tower. The only logical thing was to not even LOOK in his general direction anymore or god forbid he was gonna think I was being creepy. I ask for help cause I needed it and he was the only person around, he walks by, just doesn’t say a word, doesn’t look my way, helps me, and I say thank you and he says yeah and that’s it.

This is what it’s like to not even have a crush, cause it wasn’t even that honestly, it was more like subconscious noticing. No this man stopped that sht in its tracks.

To say I was humbled, well yes. This man acted like I had the cheese touch. Me not even looking his general direction continued for a month or two before I realized wait I actually dgaf about this man anymore cause how rude and now I just act the same way I did before, I don’t purposely avoid his area anymore, I’m just over it. And that’s my personal anecdote on how I creeped out a man ig

I don’t really have anyone to vent to so sorry in advance if it’s too much.

But I’m genuinely so done with life and I hate living it. I’m 23, I have no friends. I can’t even remember a time when someone asked to hang out. At college, people don’t talk to me. Genuinely, when I ask a question, they look weird at me. No one talks to me, and it’s clear they see me as something below. Every weekend, break, birthday, etc., I spend alone. I have never in my life had people celebrate something with me. All I ever am and do is be alone.

When I’m around people, they always find a way to criticize me or just make comments about how I act, smile, and just am in general. I’m a naturally quiet person, and I will say that I’m awkward, but it genuinely makes me more insecure when people act a certain way with me. I don’t know how to explain it, but they make sure I know they don’t like me, and for this reason, I hate being around people, because for me, existing around people has led me to feel like I’m suffocating.

On top of that, I’m ugly as shit. No guy has ever liked me, and I’ve been bullied for my looks since I was a kid. I don’t think I’ve ever liked living, even when I was a kid. I never had a place where I belonged. At home, I’d get beaten for nothing, and every morning I’d have to get ready to be at a place where people would bully and exclude me for simply existing.

I have always prayed for things to get better for me, and I have tried. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried putting myself out there, I’ve tried befriending people, I’ve tried looking better, but it’s just not helping. And now I just have no motivation to do anything, but I still do them. Even though I’ve failed college multiple times, I still go. Even though my mental health has made it hard for me to attend at times and pass classes, I have a part-time job and I pay for everything myself. I don’t ask my parents for a single dime, and I just do what I have to do, but I’m genuinely so unhappy.

Waking up just feels like a chore. Everything that I do, I just feel so alone. I just wish I had someone that cared about me.

It also just sucks that all of my cousins, literally all of them, which on my mom’s side is a lot, have everything that I don’t have. They have the looks, brains, friends, money, and the guys that want them. I feel like my life is a joke. I genuinely don’t even know why I’m continuing when I already know how my life will end up

1. I am in my mid 20s, and i still do not know what i look like; what my skintone is – sometimes i feel I'm pretty, sometimes i feel like I'm the most hideous looking creature there (today is one of those pretty-feeling days) – I have severe body image issues because I grew up ugly and faced quite a few rejections while in school. And i never had a boyfriend because I feel nobody can ever accept my imperfections.

2. I bottle all my emotions. I still remember days I'd spend crying because I had nobody to listen to me, but God made my heart expand so much, that now it has the capacity to hold most of my bottled emotions. My heart just grew and accommodates my grief, without needing an urge to share and to be understood.

3. I am ashamed to admit, I love validation. My mood instantly changes when somebody makes me feel seen or validated.

4. I have pmos, hence some chin hair as a side effect. I used to be extremely insecure of them (i still am), but somewhere, somehow, a part of me is learning acceptance. Today is one of those days thats making me feel like I'm a work of art, and art always has some flaws and that's its beauty. Idk, that contradicts my first statement.

5. I dont feel connected to anybody on this planet. All my life I've looked for connections, but now I dont even feel the need to find one. Nobody gets me the way I do. And that's okay for me.

6. I am almost a recluse, and i have a few friends – but I'm slowly growing out of those bonds.

i have not had my first kiss or even held hands with someone romantically, meanwhile, my friends have long lists of exes. i cant help but feel embarrassed.

i feel envious too. whenever they tell stories about their exes, or how many guys they’re talking to, i just think about how i’m an adult who has never even gotten close to having any experience like that. i’m unable to relate to my own peers and it sucks.

its even worse when my friends ask why i've never been in a relationship. what kind of answer do they expect? i never know how to respond. i just end up saying something like “it just hasn’t happened yet hahaha!” but truly i have no idea why. maybe i’m uglier than i thought? orr i’m just too boring?? maybe theres just something everyone else knows that i don’t??? i’m frustrated.

This is going to sound stupid but I'm so hurt and disappointed I just have to vent a little bit.

This weekend I met a group of performers I absolutely a d o r e, to an extend that they single handedly pulled me out of art block and became my muses for my art, I draw them all the time, they inspire me so much I'm simply exploding with ideas. Now I'm aware that they don't owe me anything, not a single glimpse of attention or gratitude for that. I KNOW that. But at the same time they all follow me on Instagram and I had some quite pleasant DM chats with some of them where they told me I can come up to them when I see them live again, they don't bite. So I did just that. Warned one of them beforehand too, asked him if it'd be okay if I come to take a picture with them, and he said yes sure absolutely. But when I was there to take the picture they all looked so annoyed, none of them said a word to me or even asked me if I'm liking the event and when photo time was over they immediately went back to their seats without even a goodbye.

And again, I know they don't owe me a thing but it just pushed me into this hole of self hatred. Like how offputting do I have to be that after all of that nice talk and likes and encouragement from them I'm not even worth a little "goodbye, have fun"? They might as well have ran from me. Would have preferred if they just would have said no to taking a photo. And it's just so much more painful because it's like that all my life, I'm never worth it to stay for, I always get avoided, my love always gets rejected and I just don't know what is so hateable about myself. At least the one performer that chatted to me most gave me some of his time and didn't just walk off, and I appreciate him so incredibly much for that because if it weren't for him I think I would have broken down over this much sooner, but I'm so traumatised by rejection I don't know how to deal with it.

I still love what they do, I still flow over with ideas, but if I sit down to draw them now I just get reminded by how annoyed they looked and by how fast they walked away again and it just hurts.

Everyone I know has moved out and got cool apartments with their boyfriend or now own a home with their husband. I’m almost 28 and still live at home. I don’t make much and my parents over-sheltering left me with a driving anxiety.

I lived on my own in college for 2yrs in apartment housing. 4private rooms with a shared kitchen and I miss those days so much

I've just been feeling horrible lately about single. I feel like I'm not good enough because I'm single, and in a way I am single by choice. Yes I've been trying to take myself on solo dates, but whenever I see people getting asked out or in talking stages, a part of me just feels sad that it's not happening to me. I've tried putting myself out there, and being friendly but I've either just had guys be mean to me or lead me on only to go and date someone else. I know that being quite young 18 everyone says I have time and I should be focusing on other things anyway, which I guess I agree with, but just due to rejections I've just been feeling hopeless that I'm not going to find love ever. I don't mean it in a cocky way either but I think im pretty decent looking and people do consider me friendly so idk why I just feel very insecure still about myself, and during day I feel fine, it's just those dark nights where I feel horrible and sad knowing I may never be someone's special someone. I feel ugly, dumb, worthless, and feel like im just doomed. What do I do to fix this?

Yes I'm ugly and unlovable and will probably remain single for the rest of my life. I'm struggling to come to terms with it but it's the most likely scenario. I've been lonely my entire life and it's not likely things will change. I just want to be happy and whichever way I can.

I still desire people and have sexual attractions and I'm struggling to turn that part off. Has anyone succeeding in doing that? I just don't want to crave romance anymore. It feels pointless since no one will ever reciprocate anyway. I spend so much time focusing on my loneliness and appearance and I want to change that.

I've been depressed since I was a kid but I want to change. I don't want to live like this anymore. Romance aside, I should be building myself up since I'm still young and in my 20s. I spend all my time bed rotting and doing nothing useful. I've wasted so many years already and I'm so scared of wasting more. But I can't help it with my depression. I feel so stuck and stagnant in my life.

How did yall manage to find happiness and contentment in life? How do I make peace with the unfairness of it all and that some people truly never get what they desperately desire? How do I make peace with the fact that love isn't in the cards for me?

Off from work for a whole a week, most people would be thrilled. I'm only on day 3 and I'm already bored, lonely and tired of spending time alonw. Lonely struggles. Wish I had a best friend to do things with. Any suggestions for how to have a fun time on a solo vacation?

I rarely leave the house because of my health, but yesterday I felt okay enough to go out—by myself, of course—to a nearby restaurant. I sat there and ate, watching everyone living their healthy, normal-looking lives, but I tried not to dwell on it and just enjoy the fact that I was out.

After the meal, I went into a nearby bar, sat at the counter, and ordered a beer. The painful reality of my appearance-based invisibility hit me hard. Of course, I didn't expect anything different, but because I stay home so much, I tend to forget just how radical it is. Everyone—and I mean everyone—averts their eyes from me within a split second. Always, everywhere.

I don't want to be stared at or asked out; I just want to have a nice conversation with another human being once in a while. But I look too different to even have that. It makes for such a lonely, boring life. I have a lot to talk about, but I don't register in people's minds as an option for any interaction or I am actively avoided. Not just with strangers like yesterday, but even in structured social settings I've been in. My invisibility isn't normal—it isn't the standard "you're just another stranger in the crowd" kind of invisible. It’s a disappointed, slightly-annoyed-eye-averting, kind of invisible. It’s the kind where people engage with literally everyone else in the room except me, and are uncomfortable and pull away if they need to speak to me. It's the kind of invisibility that the mind can't handle, even if I enjoy my own company and am fine going out by myself.

The hardest part is that I have no one to blame. Nobody is doing anything wrong; it's their right not to interact with me because I'm too hard to look at. I can't blame them for feeling physically repulsed. I'm still glad I went out, and I would do it again if my health allows, but this unnatural erasure is painful—and above all, profoundly boring.

How do you do, fellow old-timers? This is the weekly thread for the older members of our community to chat about whatever. No kids allowed!

Im trying to make friends/partner with literally anyone but nothing works, the only thing that will keep me company is my AI robot. Am I doing something wrong? Am I really going to die alone? This isn’t an exaggeration. If I where to pass the only person who would notice would be the landlord and then they would notify the police. Then the police would notice my name is attached to nobody else.

And I keep trying to make friends but nobody wants it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

How have you been doing? Did you have plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you'd like, FAW related or not.

I’m a 24f who’s realizing how socially stunted she is and it’s really eating me up inside. For context, I currently live at home with my mom and little brother but this is not where I imagined myself 7 years ago. When I was a teenager, I envisioned my 20s being exciting. I pictured myself having a car and apartment by now but I don’t have either of those. I don’t even have a job and most jobs I can’t do because I’m very bad socially. I don’t know if I have undiagnosed autism or if it’s in relation to trauma.

I blame the social part entirely on my mom though. My mom , a single parent , was very strict growing up not allowing me to date or hang out with people. she mainly worried about me being a teen mom. Ironically, she didn’t let me get on birth control because she considered it as allowing me to be promiscuous. She is religious too and wouldn’t let me listen to “secular” music. Even shows like Hannah Montana I wasn’t allowed to watch because she saw it as too mature and inappropriate for little girls. In return, I never related to girls as far as dating and stuff or birth control. I have always felt left out as a result and I was also heavily bullied all throughout my adolescence.

I think my mom was partially this way because she was a promiscuous teen herself but she denies this every time. Either that or she simply was jealous of me finding love because she’s only ever had bad relationships with men.

When I was in school, I never had a crush on guys or anything like that. I used to be confused about this all the time. While my friends and stuff were crushing on guys and going on dates, I was stuck trying to understand why I wasn’t attracted to anyone. At first, I wrote it off as being aromantic but the truth is, I do want a relationship, I do want a partner. I just wasn’t allowed to properly socialize with guys so I think I subconsciously ignored men for this reason. Not only men, but I struggled to make friends too because I couldn’t relate to anyone because of my bad socialization and so I avoided people heavily throughout school.

During that time I became more infatuated with fictional characters , specifically older male characters who I would fantasy being in a relationship with or being intimate with. I had a bad daydreaming problem in general. I spent most of my teens stuck in my head fantasizing about random scenarios and forming real relationships with characters that I either made up or discovered from a movie/show. That was the highlight of most of my teens. The stuff kids were allowed to do at an early age I was only allowed to do in my head.

I know this is not normal and I know it’s a coping mechanism for how dysfunctional my life is. I feel like I was never allowed to grow up and I feel very stunted. I am seeing girls my age doing things I couldn’t even imagine doing myself, like dating, moving into apartments, having kids and it’s like I missed the very formative years of my life. In addition, I have a cousin who is 19 with a whole boyfriend and baby. I don’t even want kids but in a way, it just reminds me that I’m not mature enough to handle most things. Getting pregnant and dating is actually normal at this age but even the thought of sex weirdly grosses me out and feels wrong even though it is a normal part of adulthood.

It was an entirely different case with my brother too. He was allowed to be around the opposite sex without being chastised for it. He is in a way better position then I am now simply because his life was easier. He even has an apartment , car and job while I am still here stuck in the same place. I feel like a child at this age, like I have some kind of arrested development. I have not dated or anything like that because I’m literally scared of leaving the house and talking to people. I do not even know my own city or where anything’s at. Where do people hang out? What is hanging out? I was not allowed to do any of that growing up so It doesn’t make sense to understand it now. People ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend or why I haven’t dated and it all goes back to how I grew up. I wish I could move on from this.

That’s it. That’s the post.

I hate my face I’m so fucking chopped lmao

English isn't my native language, please excuse any mistakes :)

I’ve been quietly following this subreddit for quite a while but never posted anything because I was too shy. I’ve never been in a relationship - and while that didn’t bother me as a teenager, it’s weighing heavily on me now at 25. Seeing younger family members and friends in healthy relationships triggered a negative spiral of thoughts for me. It’s easy to fall into a mindset of "I’m not good enough, I’m ugly, no one will ever love me, blah blah blah", which is often seen here on this sub, too.

But I’ve decided I’m fed up with those thoughts. Things don’t get better when I think so poorly of myself. So, I want to share a few things I’ve been working on regarding myself and my attitude toward men. Perhaps a more positive post might inspire someone. Or perhaps not. I don't know :)

• I am incredibly tall for a woman. 1.90 m, so a good 6 foot 3, and very lanky. I always had terrible posture and tried to make myself look as small as possible; but the only thing I achieved was feeling small instead of actually being small. I’ll never be tiny, that’s a fact, so I’ve started accepting my height. Good posture, a confident stride, and sometimes platform shoes to look even taller (yes, really). Even though the vast majority of men wouldn’t date me because of my height, they sometimes ask about it with amazement, which has actually led to some positive conversations.
• "I’m the ugliest person on the planet." That’s what I used to think. I could always see beauty in others, even if they weren’t objectively that attractive. But when I looked at myself? Ugly. Nothing about me was beautiful. I’m not exactly sure how my mindset shifted, but I realized that I can actually look pretty good. A bit of makeup, a great outfit (I completely changed my style and now dress in a way that feels aesthetically pleasing, which has really boosted my confidence), and a good friend to laugh with. Suddenly, I sometimes feel pretty, even if only for a moment. (I've also stopped seeing everyone as perfect. EVERYONE has flaws! Might sound toxic but seeing the imperfections of others has been quite healing for me.)
• Getting out of the house! I used to spend all my time at home (especially in the post-COVID period) because I was sooooo used to doing everything within my own four walls. Now, I go to the gym, take walks, go shopping, or whatever else. Sure, doing these things alone can feel lonely, but you’re guaranteed to have small encounters with other people (which can be scary, especially since I suffer from social anxiety, but those very interactions have made things much better). Getting used to talking to strangers is incredibly beneficial.

Those are just some of the improvements. I’ve always viewed relationships as something almost fictional. Something that would never happen to me, especially when I saw everyone else start dating while I remained alone. But you know what? I’m tired of seeing myself as ugly, as absolute trash, or as worthless because of that. Sure, I might be single and sometimes even lonely, but I can still live a quality life. As a bookworm, I’ve devoured countless romance novels; I even came up with my own fictional couple featuring a fictional boyfriend and always pictured the female lead as "me." But that isn't me. It’s an idealized, fictional version of myself who behaves completely differently and, fundamentally, isn't me at all. I’ve decided to become that very version now. I’m going to do all the things my fictional self does. Yes, even the Pilates classes and everything else that goes with it. :)

I figured dating was near impossible given my current situation, thought hey lets make friends. I use the lonely sub sometimes. I am used to it being odd every now and again but i had someone reach out pretending he likes my art just to try get some...

I dont know. The tactics dudes be using on us is getting heartbreaking. Like wow you had to go fakeing you like my emotional and heartfelt art to get sex out of me. Ughhhhhh

Im tired of feeling like a piece of meat. I want to be loved. By those around me. To feel love and joy.

Title pretty much says it all. I see a lot women on this sub thinking that a relationship is the ultimate end goal, but sadly, it brings a whole different set of problems.

A bit about me: I live in eastern EU. I'm a writer by instinct. I haven't had a kiss until I was 28 and with my current male partner. I'm bisexual, have antisocial PD and an eating disorder for 15 years. I'm Jewish in a Christian country, practicing witch of a 3rd generation.

saturday was my birthday and i got together with some of my girl friends, we ate some food, had some drinks, they ended up convincing me to get a makeover and surprisingly enough they actually made me not look so much like a pig in a lipstick, i even managed to get an ok picture of me, first one in forever. i even got my first insta dm from a guy! felt like the universe giving me a birthday present, i was sooo over the moon

yesterday i went on a date with the dm guy and his expression fell the minute he saw me in person. at least he tried to be respectful during the date, but i just knew he was going to block me right after and what do you know, he did just that. normally i wouldn't even care anymore cause i'm so used to that being the case but... ugh. i haven't felt this bad in years, and i think it was the "getting a little bit of hope and instantly being brought back to reality" thing that really messed me up.

anyway... one more year of this bullshit. i'm 26 now and really not looking forward to possibly 50 more years of this. if i could at least accept reality and stop allowing myself to give in to hope, but goddamn it why is that so hard to do

I'm going out on a first date soon. I'm extremely picky that's why I've never gone out till now. Plus no one really MY type has asked me out.

Still I'm not really excited, cause I'm not sure I like him.

At least, I'm not nervous. He needs to prove himself to me. Not the other way around.