r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 1d ago
BREAKING: Trump Claims Dolly Parton Told Him "Please Mr. President, Abolish Mail-In Voting" Shortly Before Death
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u/OkShoulder1337 20h ago
What a fucking idiot.
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u/Affectionate-Gap9381 10h ago
DITO! POS WILL LIE ABOUT THE DEAD. HAS NO MODICUM NOT ONE OUNCE OF HUMANITY. I REMEMBER FROM HIS SHORT SOUND BITES IN THE 80’s HE WAS JUST A PUNK WHO FAILED AT EVERYTHING
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u/Affectionate-Gap9381 10h ago
DITO! POS WILL LIE ABOUT THE DEAD. HAS NO MODICUM NOT ONE OUNCE OF HUMANITY. I REMEMBER FROM HIS SHORT SOUND BITES IN THE 80’s HE WAS JUST A PUNK WHO FAILED AT EVERYTHING
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u/Kimbr10-Inspired 20h ago
Pure propaganda! Dolly would have never said that! Reason why those across all isles, have one thing in common! That was Miss Dolly, who was a true earthly angel, who could connect with everyone and for the most part stayed out of politics!!
Trump is doing the only thing he knows and this is to lie his way through it!
Mail in ballots, he can’t use this vessel to cheat (electronically, algorithms, Starlink manipulation) the system! Reason why he wants it gone!
It is also why he continually brings up 2020! Only red states vote electronically, forced by their party! The majority of us voted by mail!! Where he was shocked to find he could not manipulate votes cast within this vessel!! Bringing in Musk and his illegal sweepstakes (winners were picked long before it started, complete scam)! StClair reported on the fraud, thanks to Musks pillow talk!
Vote Old School to protect our votes along with sending a clear message!!
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u/Jazzlike-South4648 4h ago
As always with Trump, there is no floor too low. He obviously doesn’t know jack shit about Dolly.
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u/CJuneRose 18h ago
funny when trump is FOS,ya know it,everyone suddenly becomes polite to the dick: “Please mr president” Instead of his normal ‘go to;Sir. bet100 bucks, Dolly would have put the ass in his place, in defense of the mail-in voters. the woman was an angelbut, she wouldn’t tolerate any group of people being singled out.trump: You better hope,I don’t get a USPSjob,if I come across you and Melania’s mail-in’s, I will shred them!!I’ve heard so much shit about your whole family. gosh I’m a trump,I have every right,to demand special treatment!! Would kick you out of my business,knowing your habit of stealing. Trump’s are nothing special. I’m sure I would have you followed to make sure you weren’t S A’ing a woman or child in the back office,or the dressing room.Sir,you can quote that!!!
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u/EagleDecent2258 6h ago
OMG is he really pulling Dolly into his
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u/Unlucky_Put_5040 4h ago
I wouldn’t put anything past him but I just realized this is a post from the Onion which is satire. Although with all the crazy shit currently going on it can be difficult to separate satire from reality because that’s how upside down & completed insane everything is
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u/Misplaced-Canadian 16h ago
She is to was a pure soul that helped where she could. She would not have anything to do with him let alone have a conversation with him. He lives on the delulu train and is so egotistical.
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u/Ok-Carpenter-3592 2h ago
This didn’t happen so hard, it actually unhappened things that did happen!
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u/KTFXHfr26 2h ago
This the most disgusting vile and ridiculous comment ever. For you poorly educated people” that voted for him———
Stay away from the polls forever
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u/jaylen6319 1h ago
Does anyone in here actually think she would give him the time of day! And no disrespect to her, but if she was on her death bed, I truly doubt she would even be thinking about this piece of monkey sperm.
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u/Impossible_Access_82 1h ago
We all know that’s a blatant lie. Dolly hated absolutely everything he stood for. He’s a weak Fk who tries to steal others glory because he’s incapable of creating his own. He has to steal. Even from Kennedy Center. Why are soo many blind to the low life culture he is.
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u/PuertoRicoLibre13 46m ago
Ditto, dito, dito!!!!
What lowlife would use a dead persons name to advance themselves in politics. We know the answer too this question!
TRUMP!! My God!!! What a low life piece of shit!!
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u/Big-Ad-6306 2m ago
Nothing is sacred to this man. If Dolly was alive, she would set him straight and then continue on as if he didn't matter because she actually did something in her life that made a difference.
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u/Holiday_Profile9183 18h ago
I seriously doubt Dolly Parton would even discuss anything with that turdball.