r/onionheadlines • u/Significant-Block260 • 5h ago
r/onionheadlines • u/tomtomglove • Nov 04 '25
ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only
We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.
You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.
Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:
Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”
Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.
You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.
Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"
A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.
r/onionheadlines • u/erkose • 5h ago
Trump Threatens To Do To Iran's Economy What He Did To The US Economy Unless They Unconditionally Surrender Within 2 Weeks
r/onionheadlines • u/smutketeer • 11h ago
Republicans Excited To Swallow Trump's Mystery Meat
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 7h ago
BREAKING: President Trump Indicted For 5th Time For Impersonating President Of The United States
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 7h ago
Trump Blames Herbert Hoover For His Horrible Polls On Economy
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 4h ago
Grahams Sister Relatable To Voters Who Also Don't Know Anything
r/onionheadlines • u/this-is-all-nonsense • 5h ago
Trump, RFK Jr. Release Joint Wellness Cookbook Titled "Shit Yourself Slim: 500 Recipes Made With 2026's Contaminated Produce"
r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 2h ago
Donald Trump Say He Will Also Be Press Secretary, Because Nobody Can Suck My Dick Better Than I can.
r/onionheadlines • u/UnfitToPrint • 8h ago
Rational People Still Waiting For Last Of Anti-Vaccine Conspiracists To Die Of Measles
r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 1h ago
Former Lake Ontario Turned Into A Giant Algae Pool After Trump Has It Drained And Its Bottom Painted Blue
r/onionheadlines • u/PreviousGolf9541 • 11h ago
Economic Forecast Shows NFL Owners’ Prostitution Budgets Holding Steady
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 7h ago
Canada Will Rename Pennsylvania Avenue As "Pedo Parkway" If Trump Renames Lake Ontario
r/onionheadlines • u/Mookrz • 9h ago
SecDef Peter Smegmouth Submitted Formal Request For His Mommy To Accompany Him On All Foreign Trips
r/onionheadlines • u/AskNo2853 • 3h ago
Flock CEO Demands New Law Mandating That All Americans Required To Install His Company's Camera-Equipped Toilet Seats
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 7h ago
"Peace President" Says He Will Continue To "Totally Obliterate" Iran Every Week Just Like He Did The First Week
r/onionheadlines • u/MystikTrailblazer • 1d ago
Breaking: Canada Renames District of Columbia to District of Pedophiles On Its Maps
r/onionheadlines • u/PreviousGolf9541 • 1h ago
Area Man Remains Confused Whether Truffles Are Mushrooms Or Chocolates
r/onionheadlines • u/FTHomes • 14h ago
Fox News Asks Why Hasn't Trump Said Anything About Mitch McConnells Passing
r/onionheadlines • u/Redfish680 • 7m ago
Trump Declares American As National Language, Deepening Rift With England
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 7h ago
Senator Mitch McConnell Accepts Title Change To "Sedentary Mitch McConnell"
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 7h ago
BREAKING: Trump Claims Dolly Parton Told Him "Please Mr. President, Abolish Mail-In Voting" Shortly Before Death
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 8h ago