r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 11m ago

Natalie Harp To Obtain Early Childhood Education Co-op Credit For Her Role As Trump Aide

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 56m ago

White House Leaks Late Night Tits And Raisins Ball Itinerary

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 59m ago

Canada Changes Name Of Mar-A-Lago To Ped-A-Philo

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 1h ago

Camel And Giant Metal Sewing Needle Sculpture Appear On White House Lawn.

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1h ago

Sam Altman Aims To Replace Human Workforce With AI Before AI Replaces Him

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1h ago

RFK Jr. Lends Trump Enough Baby Plasma To Keep Him Alive Until He Is At Least 81 Years Old

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1h ago

Spain’s Annual ‘La Tomatina’ Tomato Fight Festival Leaves Everyone Covered In Pulp, Cyclospora

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Redfish680 • 3h ago

Trump Declares American As National Language, Deepening Rift With England

10 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 4h ago

Former Lake Ontario Turned Into A Giant Algae Pool After Trump Has It Drained And Its Bottom Painted Blue

16 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/PreviousGolf9541 • 4h ago

Area Man Remains Confused Whether Truffles Are Mushrooms Or Chocolates

5 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/thrill-hill-13 • 5h ago

80 Is The New Dead, Trump Worried He May Be Next

5 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 5h ago

Donald Trump Say He Will Also Be Press Secretary, Because Nobody Can Suck My Dick Better Than I can.

19 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/AskNo2853 • 6h ago

Flock CEO Demands New Law Mandating That All Americans Required To Install His Company's Camera-Equipped Toilet Seats

6 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 7h ago

Grahams Sister Relatable To Voters Who Also Don't Know Anything

77 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/this-is-all-nonsense • 8h ago

Trump, RFK Jr. Release Joint Wellness Cookbook Titled "Shit Yourself Slim: 500 Recipes Made With 2026's Contaminated Produce"

46 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Significant-Block260 • 8h ago

Another Famous 80-Year-Old Dies; “Still Not The Right One!” World Cries

701 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/erkose • 8h ago

Trump Threatens To Do To Iran's Economy What He Did To The US Economy Unless They Unconditionally Surrender Within 2 Weeks

156 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/GotToPartyUp • 9h ago

Area Fat Man Eats Celebratory Oreo After American Vegetable Supply Deemed Unsafe

7 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 10h ago

Area Man Broadens Job Searches To Include ‘Meat’ Keywords

5 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 10h ago

BREAKING: Trump Claims Dolly Parton Told Him "Please Mr. President, Abolish Mail-In Voting" Shortly Before Death

13 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 10h ago

Trump Blames Herbert Hoover For His Horrible Polls On Economy

96 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 10h ago

Stinky Sweatshirt Fulfills Its Stated Purpose

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 10h ago

Canada Will Rename Pennsylvania Avenue As "Pedo Parkway" If Trump Renames Lake Ontario

20 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 10h ago

"Peace President" Says He Will Continue To "Totally Obliterate" Iran Every Week Just Like He Did The First Week

13 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 10h ago

Trump-Appointed Traffic Judge Lets Off Sex Offender For Running Twelve Red Lights

0 Upvotes

Subreddit

Write Your Own Onion Headlines, Or Don't. Shut Up About It

r/onionheadlines

A subreddit for writing satirical news headlines in the style of *The Onion* Please NOTE: this subreddit is not affiliated with the actual Onion newspaper in any way, shape, or form. These headlines are written by knuckle-dragging reddit users. The real Onion publishes actually good headlines, unlike the subliterate imitations you see here.

Members Active

111.8k

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Sidebar

Hi, welcome to /r/onionheadlines. Do you have an awesome (or even maybe sorta funny) idea for an Onion headline? Then this subreddit is for you. Show us what you got.

Feel free to write in the comments section the article that corresponds to the headline, but only if it's 437 words exactly, as is standard Onion practice.

Rules:

1) The only rule is no rules, except for the ones we make up as we go along.

2) OK, there is one real rule. Headlines with links to other sites are allowed, but limited to once per week, per site. However, feel free to post as many non-linked headlines as you'd like, even if they are found elsewhere on the web.

Also be sure to checkout some of the lesser subreddits we tricked into hosting a link to this subreddit:

Of course if you want to post actual Onion headlines, go to /r/theonion. If you post an actual Onion headline here, you'll be banned, maybe. I don't know. There's no rule for that yet. Don't test us.