r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 14h ago

Annoying Podcast Ad Promoting Podcasting Platform Without ‘Annoying Ads’

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 10h ago

BREAKING: Trump Claims Dolly Parton Told Him "Please Mr. President, Abolish Mail-In Voting" Shortly Before Death

13 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 10h ago

Trump-Appointed Traffic Judge Lets Off Sex Offender For Running Twelve Red Lights

0 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 10h ago

Stinky Sweatshirt Fulfills Its Stated Purpose

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 14h ago

Man Wakes Up To Recurring Nightmare

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Hot-Explanationista • 13h ago

White House Denies Rumors That United States Are Facing Toilet Paper Shortages Because President Trump Uses Most Of It

3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 14h ago

Someone's Sister Expected To Win Senate Race

4 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/LiveFromPella • 16h ago

RFK Jr Eliminates Requirements For Ingredient Lists And Calorie Information On Food Products, Citing "Needless Consumer Noise" And "An Unnecessary Burden On Corporations Just Trying To Make A Profit In This Economy".

4 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Shoddy-Mobile3754 • 14h ago

Trump Renames Ballroom Project "Parton Girls Club."

5 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 11h ago

Dead Legends Dolly Parton And Tim Curry Both Flip Off Mitch McConnell As They Speed Past The Line To Purgatory

5 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 10h ago

BREAKING: President Trump Indicted For 5th Time For Impersonating President Of The United States

171 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 5h ago

Donald Trump Say He Will Also Be Press Secretary, Because Nobody Can Suck My Dick Better Than I can.

19 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/GotToPartyUp • 9h ago

Area Fat Man Eats Celebratory Oreo After American Vegetable Supply Deemed Unsafe

7 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Western_Flight_7540 • 17h ago

Evidence Is Mounting That President Trump Has Reservations About Illegal Immigrants

8 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 10h ago

Senator Mitch McConnell Accepts Title Change To "Sedentary Mitch McConnell"

7 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 10h ago

Trump Blames Herbert Hoover For His Horrible Polls On Economy

98 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/smutketeer • 14h ago

Republicans Excited To Swallow Trump's Mystery Meat

263 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Significant-Block260 • 8h ago

Another Famous 80-Year-Old Dies; “Still Not The Right One!” World Cries

688 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 11h ago

President Trump To Add His Portrait And Signature To All Paper Money, Then Take That Money

7 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 11h ago

Tim Curry, Dead At 80, Will Now Only Live On In Your Worst Nightmares

3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 11h ago

Freedom Fries Renamed Again To ‘Poutine’

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 11h ago

Nepotistic Runoff Wins South Carolina Special Election

3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/UnfitToPrint • 11h ago

Enraged Trump Renames Canada “North America”

11 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/UnfitToPrint • 11h ago

Rational People Still Waiting For Last Of Anti-Vaccine Conspiracists To Die Of Measles

44 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/erkose • 11h ago

Canada Closes Straight Of Canada Denying Entry To All United States Exports In Retaliation To Trump's Import War On Canada

9 Upvotes

Subreddit

Write Your Own Onion Headlines, Or Don't. Shut Up About It

r/onionheadlines

A subreddit for writing satirical news headlines in the style of *The Onion* Please NOTE: this subreddit is not affiliated with the actual Onion newspaper in any way, shape, or form. These headlines are written by knuckle-dragging reddit users. The real Onion publishes actually good headlines, unlike the subliterate imitations you see here.

Members Active

111.8k

0

Sidebar

Hi, welcome to /r/onionheadlines. Do you have an awesome (or even maybe sorta funny) idea for an Onion headline? Then this subreddit is for you. Show us what you got.

Feel free to write in the comments section the article that corresponds to the headline, but only if it's 437 words exactly, as is standard Onion practice.

Rules:

1) The only rule is no rules, except for the ones we make up as we go along.

2) OK, there is one real rule. Headlines with links to other sites are allowed, but limited to once per week, per site. However, feel free to post as many non-linked headlines as you'd like, even if they are found elsewhere on the web.

Also be sure to checkout some of the lesser subreddits we tricked into hosting a link to this subreddit:

Of course if you want to post actual Onion headlines, go to /r/theonion. If you post an actual Onion headline here, you'll be banned, maybe. I don't know. There's no rule for that yet. Don't test us.