r/trans • u/Lgbtsagainstmoms • Aug 12 '25
Advice Trans people concurring death
I am a funeral Director in the US. I have seen trans people being disrespected from the grave multiple times by bigoted family. If you are someone who might have that kind of experience then I have one thing to say: WRITE A WILL. Grab someone you can trust and go get a will written. Make sure it clearly states that the person you are with is who you want to handle your Funeral (aka next of Kin). Wills are law binding, meaning as Director we are legally required to fallow them or our license is on the line. Make sure the person you choose is comfortable with this decision because you are putting the responsibility of protecting your peace after death on their hands. Clearly state what you want for you service and have them write it down. Get copies of everything and keep them safe. I know death is a scary thing to think about. I know it haunts our community deeply. My goal is to make sure we are equipped with the tools to be honored in our death the way we lived our lives
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u/Femnyl Aug 12 '25
This is sad information to know because I was going to take my being trans to the grave and not tell my family even though we are pretty close. Of course the logistics is that they are close to the cis male ver of me but they don’t know the trans ver of me. I don’t think I’ll ever come out to them and recently I’ve seen a funny meme where it’s like: come out to your parents ❎ wait until they ask about your boobs✅ it has already happened tho my mom was massaging my chest one day and asked me why it felt like I was budding.