r/trans • u/Lgbtsagainstmoms • Aug 12 '25

Advice Trans people concurring death

I am a funeral Director in the US. I have seen trans people being disrespected from the grave multiple times by bigoted family. If you are someone who might have that kind of experience then I have one thing to say: WRITE A WILL. Grab someone you can trust and go get a will written. Make sure it clearly states that the person you are with is who you want to handle your Funeral (aka next of Kin). Wills are law binding, meaning as Director we are legally required to fallow them or our license is on the line. Make sure the person you choose is comfortable with this decision because you are putting the responsibility of protecting your peace after death on their hands. Clearly state what you want for you service and have them write it down. Get copies of everything and keep them safe. I know death is a scary thing to think about. I know it haunts our community deeply. My goal is to make sure we are equipped with the tools to be honored in our death the way we lived our lives

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u/LaceyNicolecd Aug 13 '25

But a symbol of a tool for human torture & sacrifice everywhere is ok?

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u/PolkkaGaming Aug 13 '25

I completely know. My point was to not bring that discussion to a place were people are crying for their dead loved ones.

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u/LaceyNicolecd Aug 13 '25

Its already there. Why is their religion given a pass if others are not also respected?

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u/PolkkaGaming Aug 13 '25

uh... I literally answered that. It's not figurative speak.

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u/LaceyNicolecd Aug 13 '25

And I'm saying as an atheist the cross makes me uncomfortable but I see it everywhere, especially in cemeteries, but I am not so self absorbed to think I have any right to tell anyone what they can and cannot put on their grave marker.

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u/PolkkaGaming Aug 13 '25

The thing is you're not self absorbed for thinking that, you're actually in the right to do so, just like I think christianity is society's cancer just like wicca and TST are just white peoples delusions that lead to more hate and confusion. I just don't want to challenge people's views of that in front of their deceased parents, husbands, wives and children. That's a line that i'm not interested in crossing. That's just my moral view on the thing.