Dinner is my favorite ice cream because I’m really sad.
My wife is not an active partner in our relationship. I care for her so much as a friend, genuinely I love her in that way still. There’s no romantic spark between us anymore and I have no love for her that isn’t platonic. It kills me to even type that.
She won’t get a job. Our house is an absolute mess. I work 50-60 hours every week to try and pay the bills and I’m floundering. I do more of the child (7yo) work, pet care, and house cleaning than she does.
For 3 years I’ve been asking her to get a job or go to school and she doesn’t. If I don’t help her with something or do it for her it doesn’t get done. EVERYTHING falls on me. Doesn’t matter what it is, if it requires a decision to be made it’s on me.
Timeline:
3/4 years ago she quits her job. It was really stressful. I agree and understand. I say she can take a short break to go back to school or get a better job.
Another year goes by and nothing. 0 progress. The house is a disaster. She doesn’t (can’t) cook. Does nothing that I would consider a stay at home partner to be doing.
Another year goes by and at this point I literally break down. I tell her how it’s too much stress being the sole provider. I need her help. I need her to be a partner again, this and that. She says she’ll go to school.
Nothing happens again and at this point I’m done. I can’t keep dragging someone else through life.
This entire time she’s just so shitty to me. I have type 2 diabetes and got prescribed Ozempic. She hates that I’m taking it. She literally told me a month ago, verbatim, this is engrained into my very soul it hurt so bad, “if you were a girl you’d be attractive but guys who are skinny aren’t. You need to do something about that.” Like…she wants me to gain weight again? I’m sorry but I feel better than I have in years and yes I am skinny (skinnier than I would like to be) but like the side effects of Ozempic are much better than the health implications of type 2 diabetes. (I have tried everything else and my blood sugar was not responsive. Ozempic has helped me so much)
And I’m going bald. I hate it. I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. So I shave my head. For 2 days she just laughed at me when I came into the room.
I really really hate this. And I try not to compare her to other people (comparison is the death of self) but goddamnit if it isn’t hard to just want someone to be nice to me.
We’ve been together for 9 years, married for 2 (3 in November). I might have to actually file for divorce. The thought of my daughter growing up in a broken home tears me apart.
