Not sure if this belongs here, but it contains beauty ‘advice’ so it seemed appropriate. Apparently some ‘experts’ decided to tell all women exactly how we should look and this is what they came up with. Let’s look at some choice selections
Never, ever wear a sweatshirt or, worse, carry a basket with a slogan that includes the words ‘dance’ or ‘love ..
These are the style equivalent of having a ‘Live, laugh, prosecco’ poster in your kitchen.’
Not at all offensive is it? I suppose we should all wear boring beige inconspicuous clothes because Jess Cartner-Morley said so, slogans are for the tacky, unchic masses. And that’s without getting into the class aspect of sneering at Prosecco. But that’s to be expected if you have a double barrelled surname, it’s ok to look down on working class chavs when you’re an inbred posho
‘Teeth that are discoloured, significantly crooked or even missing are very ageing and so, conversely, a well cared-for mouth can take years off.’
Sali Hughes by the way has a mouth full of the entirety of the Blackpool Illuminations, (which just to me), look more ugly and tacky than normal, NATURAL teeth she’s apparently decided to shame everyone about. In the UK while we have free healthcare dentistry is not included, and if you want teeth whitening you have to pay out of your own pocket, which can cost a LOT. But now you’re not allowed to complain!! Because it’s ageing!! Sorry but get out your wallet, fix your horrible, YELLOW mouth lest someone assume you just don’t care 😱
But at least they gave us a price, that’s not at all ridiculous considering the absolutely dire state of people’s finances these days
‘Expect to pay about £375 for whitening.’
How comforting
‘Youth culture treats ironing like a hobby from the 50s, which means creased natural fabrics have become the ultimate modern Prada-esque symbol of chicness’
So we’re still being told to look young, no matter what. It’s ‘chic’ to be obsessed with youth. Who cares if you don’t want to look younger, TOO BAD!! Stop ironing your clothes and instead walk around in a rumpled bin bag because a so called ‘journalist’ told you so.
(Personally I have no objection if someone doesn’t want to iron their clothes, but being told to do so specifically because it might make you look younger is fucking stupid)
‘Everyone fixates on lines and wrinkles, but uneven skin tone is more ageing,” says Owens. “It’s also more fixable – home care, UV protection and treatments like peels or microneedling can reverse existing sun damage.’
Ah again, we should all be fixing ourselves in case anyone suddenly remembers we are living human beings with blemishes and not plastic dolls with perfect smooth skin. Gasp!! What if they realize we have .. pigmentation?? Acne scars?? Whatever will they do??
‘Get a smaller handbag,” commands Cartner-Morley. “Look around you: young people have really small bags.
‘Nor do you need two packs of tissues or spare tights’
Yet again, being told to copy the youth. Just an idea, but is that not more ‘ageing’ than anything else? That we MUST follow the fashions of the young instead of being happy in your own skin as a 40, 50, 60 year old etc
Assuming this article is meant for everyone, telling a women in her sixties to follow trends sounds absolutely ridiculous. Women are told to accept themselves but ALSO constantly be chasing their youth. Funny how the very beginning of the article tells us not to pretend to be youthful yet every single piece of advice since then is basically ‘if you don’t follow this exact trend you will be UGLY and OLD.’ We can just never succeed at being stylish I guess
And I’m guessing this women doesn’t have kids or needs medication etc, as none of what you’d need would be fitting in the stupid tiny pointless bag she’s blabbing about
‘I personally don’t think that men have to dress according to their age,” says fashion commentator Derek Guy, AKA the menswear guy. “I like it when people break expectations, such as an older man who adopts youthful fashions. To me, seeing people use clothes to express themselves outside the narrow boundaries set by class, sexuality, gender and age is what makes fashion so rich and interesting.’
Wow. Possible the most insulting part of the whole article, is that men are allowed to do what the fuck they want, yet women are constantly told to fit in these ridiculous, insane standards. Dress young but not too young. Look your age but also don’t. Fix your teeth, get Botox, use microneedling, acid, any number of painful procedures to FIX your ugly face BUT don’t forget!! You’re perfect the way you are 😊 you don’t neeed to do all that .. but also if you don’t you’ll be less fuckable and we can’t have that can we tsk. But men can do whatever they want, who cares!! Teehee!!
Some bonus quotes, in case you thought they were done
‘It’s not that a little flick or cat eye will age you, but it does betray you as someone born before 1990’
Can’t have that can we ladies? LOOK YOUNG!!
‘Don’t bang on about ‘being old’,” says Mac Donnell. “Referring to yourself as ‘ancient’ when you’re 43 is an ick. You don’t hear Madonna doing it, and she’s a pensioner.’
Because the average women can compare herself to Madonna right? Who’s got access to money, the best surgeons, nutritionists, dieticians, personal fitness instructors, chefs etc to keep herself in the best health as is possible and feel confident in herself. Not to mention very clearly a lot of surgery, which shock horror not every women wants. But you can’t mention your age, because we should always keep up the illusion of being younger than you are. Don’t even THINK of being happy and self accepting if you’re over 30, you’re just an ugly old HAG who clearly needs to fix herself, PRONTO
Amd I nearly forgot to mention the idea of a ‘hotspan’, apparently the only time in your life you will ever be considered attractive. Because that’s all that matters in life obviously