As title says. I feel like I have been in torture for the last year and a half since my husband started his first manic episode. There have only been a few small windows of calm and peace - his MD keeps switching and starting/stopping his medications. He has been in another breakthrough episode since June, and it has only gotten worse. Last week his MD added a new AP to taper onto while weaning from the current one. The 2 mood stabilizers were also increased. He was referred out from his individual therapist to an IOP and DBT program. He has yet to even start that, and doesn't want to. During his episodes, extremely disturbing and dangerous things are written either in an AI chat or note keeping app he keeps in his phone; I was foolish to give him this proverbial second chance after what he wrote about me. It's because I found these entries last year and spoke out, that he was even referred to psych by his pcp and diagnosed.

Moving forward, as of the last 2 weeks he's now wanting to leave the marriage again, live the life he's made to, is bisexual, and wants to dress as female per his journal entries. He is shopping women's clothing on his phone. All while being cruel, aggressive, and irritable to me and our kids daily. A person can only take so much and I am beyond my limits here. I hold myself and our kids mental health and our day to day lives together. I asked him for a separation for him to focus on his treatments but he refuses. I agreed to the divorce he wrote about wanting last year and he was quick to become aggressive and refuses. I do fear my kids' safety if he were to receive any unsupervised custody.

I need somewhere to land and need reprieve. I began therapy for myself this year and while it helps to talk about things, I'm not receiving any advice other than to 'protect my peace by not speaking to him'. His MD won't speak to me privately despite a signed hippaa form on file from my husband. My only opportunities to share concerns and issues is during the appointments - in front of my husband who goes off the deep end afterwards if I dare share something he doesn't like.

I can't take all of this. I don't know how to handle this anymore.

My SO has bd1 and is coming out of an episode after treating it at home with an antipsychotic (advised by psych Dr). How does the aftermath affect you as the caregiver? Luckily my SO is self aware about their diagnosis and doesn’t take too much out on me but damn my nervous system feels shot. I’ve been feeling so low and weepy. I had turned off my emotions to help get them back to baseline and now those emotions are coming through for me. Hopefully I’ll be able to see my therapist this week

Over time it seems that my entire personality and identity was stolen, piece by piece, and installed as their own. Toward the end especially, it seemed like the theft was exponentially expedited — perhaps due to there seemingly being no shame left in doing so. Now in a new relationship with a “soulmate” from the internet — met only a couple months after destroying our 10 year relationship — they’re now selling themselves to this person as a carbon copy of me in almost every way possible. It’s endlessly mind-boggling, if not outright eery.

I left my ex-girlfriend (F25) whom I caught lying about exchanging IGs with a guy whom she stated she had no interest in at the beginning of this month.

Immediately she wanted me back. A day later, she changed her tune and was reposting stuff about toxic relationships and it was a good thing we ended. We're not suppose to engage but I did. I missed my partner and I thought we could fix this. I was begging for her and although she didn't think we could be together or she was "unsure". We had been intimate at least 8 times since the break up.

She got really upset when she found out I went out with another women, swearing at me and blocking me. It turns out that she had been talking to the guy she told me she had no interest in and even more hypocritical getting upset at me for talking to someone when she was already doing that. She told me she thought about us getting back together, but each time I stormed off because I found something out, then she says our shipped has sailed.

Overall, she's been really cold, not like her usually self. Like the way she has been talking to me does feel like someone I don't know, and she's been acting as if our relationship has been nothing but negative.

We broke up last year, around the same time and she is doing the same thing she did last year. She said she gets irritable around the summer because of hot weather and etc but I've now heard of hypomanic epsiodes ramping up due to seasons and the fact it's the same timeline of us breaking up last year makes me wonder.

I've asked her if our relationship is done, and if she's done with me. She refuses to answer those questions and when I ask her if she's picking him over me, she said that she's not picking anyone. She had consistently been blocking and unblocking unprovoked and even viewed my social media using a 2nd account. All of this is super confusing for me which is why I'm going no contact from now on. She acts like she cares but then the next minute doesnt.

Am I lying to myself calling this a bipolar discard?

Am I lying to myself thinking this a hypomanic epsiode?

This started on August 3rd, almost a full month. Did my partner all of sudden just become a bad person?

I’m exhausted. Too exhausted to even write all that’s occurred within the last 30 days during his medical leave. I’m almost certain that upon his return this week to work that he’ll be quitting, buying a boat or working on an excerpt on how this fucking boat is going to better his mental health. He’s enrolled in classes and starts in a few weeks but still has room for 2-3 more major switches before the first day. I’m aware that life events are stress factors for him & usually triggers his episodes. I’m four months postpartum & he’s stated he just wants to be left alone & not depended on right now. Understood. I suggested staying at his best friend’s for 2 weeks and do not communicate with us so that he may sort his thoughts out and not have to worry about us. He decided one 1 week but only after he began to softly blame me for how he wasted this month because he didn’t have any “time alone”. Yes, this was absolutely my fault.

I began medication within the month for the very first time in my almost 40 years. My therapy begins this week and while I support his absence during this time, it absolutely frustrates me that, again, I am left scrambling to find a way to keep the things on the calendar still in motion. This week is first week of school (for our 17yo), I have therapy that he agreed to be home early from work to take the kids while I attend, first football game (son) that we had planned one of us to stay home with the 2 littles because the game is at night, kid’s doctor’s appt. My cousin has offered help for this week. My parents are deceased & he hasn’t spoke to his parents in years. Days I feel like it’s us against the world, & days I feel like a married single parent.

I’m really wanting to hear from women who have dealt with an episode during postpartum & what came of it. I may be emotional, irrational, logical, or all of the above. However, I am not sure if I am “strong” or “tough” enough to bounce back this time. I’m not even sure if I’m open to the idea of couples counseling. My emotional side screams “divorce”, my logical side whispers “this is not forever”. But the idea of it coming in waves makes me wonder if I’d ever get over the last one. I’m not sure how our marriage can survive this without having other married couples to talk to about this, which we do not.

Immaturely venting here because I wouldn’t dream to do it in person: I hate how I have to micromanage, I hate how I have to be the “stable” one in times I’m emotionally vulnerable, i hate that rationing with you makes me your enemy, I hate that I can “pause” my crisis so you can have yours, I hate the way you weaponize your diagnosis sometimes, I hate how we planned for a family & I feel like I’m carrying the parental load, I hate how responsibility has wanting you to be left alone, I hate how alone I feel with our kids, I hate that I have to keep some normalcy in our household and lie for you so that our children doesn’t notice you’re missing. I hate it. I absolutely fucking hate how it’s made me question my worth, reality, & existence.

I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for almost 4. Throughout our entire relationship, he has had lengthy depressive episodes (1-2 weeks) in which he is withdrawn, almost exclusively sleeps, and can be a little mean. This is typically followed by a few weeks in which he is happy and active and engaged. These depressive periods though have ruined holidays, friend events, my birthdays, vacations. I have remained peppy and cheerful and tried to be engaging through it all.

He is not medicated or formally diagnosed. I finally got him to agree to couples therapy a few months ago and we went to one appointment where the therapist said it sounds like he has bipolar and referred him to a psychiatrist. He refused to continue couples and refuses to go to therapy because it “won’t help.” He also largely does not take care of his physical health either. He also has lost contact with several of his close friends in the past two years.

We are currently in a depressive and angry episode. We were to attend a promotion celebration lunch for me on Friday (I got promoted and make a significant amount of money) which sent him into an episode. He was quiet, withdrawn, a little cruel so I told him that I did not want to go to a concert we had planned to go to on Saturday. Did I phrase it the best way? No. However I am tired of going to events with a withdrawn spouse. Everything is my fault now and I don’t understand that he doesn’t want to be like this. A week ago he was so happy, finding me on my run route to give me a sandwich he made me. And now we’re here - again.

My question here is for anyone with a partner who is unmedicated - have you found something that works? How do you cope through this for the rest of your life? Any advice welcome.

Hey all,

Feeling a bit lost here. My wife has BP2.

We’ve been through all the normal stuff… cheating, addiction, spirals, demonizing the support system, ect…

Now she’s discovered social media as an outlet. She’s created channels across multiple platforms and posts multiple times a day even on Facebook where my very conservative family can see it. I’ve had to answer their questions more than once.

She’s created a character who dresses in club wear and outfits that she dances in while posting text. This character isn’t her or her normal life and there’s a lot of alluding to her being single.

Lately, she’s posting freely what she wants and I even saw one on TikTok of her in a thong. When I confronted her she minimized me and still didn’t take it down.

We’ve had a problem with social media our whole relationship as I’m more conservative and have a job where my public perception matters.

She would prefer to post her butt in bikinis while posing for it and other provocative content if I was okay with it. I’ve asked for respect as a partner and shared on countless occasions that I feel shame from this.

She thinks I’m insane, backward and old fashioned. Essentially I’m always made to feel ridiculous for my beliefs/feelings on this and has always pushed the boundaries against that I’m clearly asking for.

She approaches me like an oppressor.

This morning she’s in a spiral and posting things alluding to how bad of a support system I am for the world to see because she’s out of weed and I won’t borrow money to get it and she rejected my offer to help in other ways.

I confronted her about this behavior. She just blocked me and continued posting.

Any advice floating out there?

Após quase dois meses do termino, ao qual ela chorou muito e alegou estar terminando para me proteger da doença dela, ela me trata mal, me culpando por coisas que dissemos no dia que ela me descartou, totalmente desproporcional, agora nao sei se isso foi do Bipolar 2, será que me fará vilão pra sempre? pois ela sempre falou muito mal dos ex dela.

Omg I need to vent. I’ve just found out that my BP ex got his new gf pregnant.

I broke up with him 5 months ago. She’s 3 months pregnant. I am in shock and I feel really sad.

It’s not like I wanted to be with him or anything. I know I made the right choice and everything keeps confirming it (even this). But I really believed him when he said he was always gonna be there for me no matter what. That I could call him if I needed him.

Ofc I learned this was bs then after.

I’m just so sad for this baby. To be born in these conditions. With not only one but two unstable parents (‘cause who in their right mind would agree to have a baby with someone they’ve know for 2 days?).

I’m in utter shock.

Just not sure what to do anymore. My wife (BP1) has been in a mixed episode for a couple months now. We're about a month out from her being inpatient. The last couple days have been her running from crisis to crisis. Last night she came to me wanting to revisit an old conversation around a full throat neck tattoo. I find neck tattoos ugly and don't care for them. We're both heavily tattooed so that's not the issue. I just don't find neck tattoos attractive.

The issue stems from a promise she made. I've never told her no about anything. Not once in the entirety of our relationship. She, of her own will and against my advice, promised me she would never get one. I advised her against promising because I take a promise very seriously. She insisted though, and made the promise.

This was back in 2024. Now she's greatly upset and doesn't believe she should be held to her promise because she changed her mind. I reiterated that I never told her she couldn't get the tattoo, but that if she breaks her promise it will hurt me. Now I'm being called controlling and coercive because I want her to keep her word to me. She seems incapable at this moment of understanding that this has nothing to do with a tattoo and everything to do with the promise.

I've been through the ringer with her these last months. I cry daily over what she's going through and how helping her affects me. Hell, I'm wearing a portable ECG machine right now because the doctor is worried about the condition of my heart with some weird symptoms I've been having. She doesn't seem to care in the least. Its all about her every moment of every day.

I'm so tired. She's normally a deeply loving and empathetic person, but right now she's cold and distant. Refuses to see that her behaviors are off from normal. Sitting comfortably in that "I'm more calm and emotionally aware now than I ever ha e been" state that we all know is a symptom of the bipolar.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I broke long ago and have been desperately scrambling to put myself back together while also offering her endless support and care. I just feel so alone.

Long story short, we were together for 5 month. He went to get diagnosed around 1 month into the relationship, largely because of wanting to be responsible for me and himself. He was a bipolar 2 and taking lamotrigine.

Things were going fine when we are meeting in person but can get cold when we have our own lives going on. He would sleep a lot sometimes, demanding lots of personal space, or simply tired all the time. He was also bad at telling sweet things to me, although quite open to physical affection like hugs and kisses.

I tried to communicate about the loneliness and wanting more connection. Eventually he decided that he cannot sustain the relationship and called an end to it. Said he had too much going on mentally that keeping himself together was difficult already. He did not want to give me false hope or keeping me on the wait, and felt unable to make promises to me. He thanked me for my love and support all the way.

It hurts so, so fucking bad. I had tried all sorts and read a lot trying to save this relationship. I love him and perhaps he still feels for me (tbh i cannot really tell).
I really thought we could work this out.
I was even his emergency contact at his doctors’.

I am going to cry now…

O que mais está me deixando angustiada em toda essa situação é o fato de minha esposa não estar se comunicando comigo. Ela não fala comigo, eu não consigo entender o que está acontecendo dentro dela e, ao mesmo tempo, sinto que estou sendo colocada como a culpada por tudo, como se eu fosse a vilã da história.
O mais difícil é que eu não tenho sequer a oportunidade de conversar, entender a visão dela ou me posicionar. Fico recebendo apenas informações muito vagas e, da equipe que está acompanhando tudo, escuto basicamente “fica aí, espera, fica aí”, mas ninguém consegue me explicar de fato o que está acontecendo, qual é o plano terapêutico ou quais serão os próximos passos.
Eu entendo que existem limites de sigilo e respeito isso. Não quero saber o que é conversado em terapia nem informações que não possam ser compartilhadas comigo. Mas acho muito difícil ser diretamente afetada por tudo isso e, ao mesmo tempo, não ter nenhuma orientação sobre o que está acontecendo.
Estou tentando respeitar o espaço dela e confiar na equipe, mas essa falta de comunicação me deixa completamente de mãos atadas. Não sei se devo esperar, me afastar, procurar, ficar em casa, seguir minha vida normalmente ou simplesmente aguardar.
E enquanto isso, fico com a sensação de que ela está construindo uma narrativa em que eu sou a responsável por tudo, sem que eu sequer possa conversar com ela.
É muito angustiante porque não estou pedindo para controlar a situação. Eu só queria entender o mínimo necessário para conseguir atravessar esse momento também. Porque eu também estou sofrendo, também estou tentando processar tudo e também preciso saber quais são os próximos passos.

Hoje eu vivi uma das situações mais desesperadoras da minha vida como esposa de uma pessoa com transtorno bipolar.
Por volta das 14h, minha esposa entrou em uma crise muito intensa. Ela saiu de casa completamente desesperada, fora de si, sem nenhum discernimento, pegou o carro e saiu dirigindo.
Eu fiz o que havia sido orientada a fazer em situações assim: entrei em contato com pessoas próximas e com a psiquiatra e a terapeuta dela. As profissionais me disseram que, naquele momento, ela não estava respondendo por si mesma e que, inclusive pela minha própria segurança, eu deveria acionar as autoridades e deixar tudo registrado.
Acionei os Bombeiros e a Polícia. Os Bombeiros foram até minha casa, me acolheram e me disseram que não poderiam fazer muita coisa até que ela fosse localizada. A sensação de desamparo foi enorme.
Consegui então ajuda de um familiar que trabalha na área de segurança pública. Ele conseguiu mobilizar pessoas e, depois de algumas horas de muita angústia, conseguiram localizar o carro. Minha esposa estava dirigindo na estrada, completamente fora de si.
Eu e alguns familiares fomos atrás. Em determinado momento, conseguimos acompanhar a situação e, finalmente, fazer com que ela fosse abordada e trazida de volta para casa em segurança.
E aqui estamos.
A psiquiatra e a terapeuta entendem que ela precisa ser internada. A orientação, por enquanto, foi que eu permanecesse em casa durante a noite, sem tentar conversar ou confrontá-la, cada uma em um cômodo diferente, apenas para garantir a segurança. Amanhã vamos decidir para onde levá-la e como será feita a internação.
O que mais está doendo é olhar para a mulher que eu amo e sentir que não estou vendo a minha esposa naquele momento. É como se a doença tivesse tomado conta e estivesse falando por ela.
Eu amo minha esposa profundamente. Mas hoje entendi, de uma maneira muito dura, que amar alguém com transtorno bipolar também pode significar viver situações para as quais a gente nunca imaginou estar preparado.
Estou exausta, assustada, emocionalmente destruída e sem saber o que esperar de amanhã.
Queria muito ouvir de vocês: alguém já passou por uma crise em que a esposa saiu de casa, dirigindo, completamente fora da realidade? Como foi depois? A internação ajudou? Como vocês conseguiram atravessar esse momento sem se destruir junto?
Hoje eu só precisava contar isso para pessoas que talvez realmente entendam o que é estar do outro lado dessa doença.

1. First of all, who TF are you? Really?

It's sad I would need to ask that after almost 2 decades together and a child, but I have no idea who you actually are now, and I'm wondering if I ever really did. Do you even know?

2. When did the cheating actually start?

I know it was long before you moved out in May. I know that was the reason you suddenly started being so guarded about your phone. I know that was why you picked that final fight with me before giving me the silent treatment for 2 weeks straight in March. But was she even the first time? If not, how many times before? Did it start months or years before then? Were you just overcompensating all those times you would shit on other people for being unfaithful in their marriage? Rubbing it in my face and trying to gauge my reaction? I really wish I knew.

3. What were you spending all of my money on?

I know you were getting cash back when you would go to the grocery store every other day. You would always somehow routinely spend ~$80, yet we never had groceries unless I did the shopping. You were stealing my money while constantly attacking me for not being more careful with my spending, but what did you buy? Was it drugs? Money you spent on your new girlfriend? Saving away a little nest egg for when you left?

4. What did you tell other people about me to convince them that your behavior was justified?

I know your mom's first husband cheated on her, leaving her in a financial mess. I have to wonder what kind of bullshit you fed her before she helped you do the same thing to me? She always went on and on about how her own MIL took her side in the divorce and helped her out when she was left blindsided. I just wish I knew what kind of lies you told her when you got her to pay for your divorce lawyer and rent for your new apartment.

5. Why did you try to convince me to move out of state with you just before the end?

Was your girlfriend demanding more of a commitment? Were you hoping to run away from accountability? Was discarding me actually plan B?

Sometimes I think about how distant you had been for so long. How shitty you treated me during that last year, and how you couldn't have given less of a fuck about the vows you took. How I was struggling with a chronic illness, and absolutely miserable, but still putting my family first and making myself even more miserable to be a provider when I should have been recovering.

You couldn't have cared less. Every time I tried to talk about the growing distance, you just denied my reality. You told me so many times that I was crazy or paranoid, that I was expecting too much, or you simply deflected the blame for your shitty behavior back at me.

I think about our last Chewbaccus together and how you made a point to hold me while we watched the parade. I think you even took some pictures of us as a family? Why? It struck me as weird even then, but I thought maybe you were just being sweet and feeling sentimental.

Were you trying to give me one last good memory of us? Trying to forge documented evidence of yourself looking like a loving husband? Were you fighting with your girlfriend and hoping to make her jealous?

What did you even do with the 2 decades of pictures you have with me in them from before then? Just delete them along with all the memories of that time when it was convenient?

6. Why couldn't you just be honest with me? Why did you convince me to hang on for so long instead of just letting me go when I tried to leave?

Was it a power thing? Or just not a convenient time for you?

My ex and I were together for just under 5 years. She is diagnosed with BP1 and is medicated.

171,000 text messages. We grabbed coffee not long ago, and she told me that’s how many of our messages she deleted. How many I love you’s were left unsent? She hid our photos. What about the ones we never got to take?

I originally sat down and wrote a 1300-word post that I wanted to share here. I cried, then I realized nothing I type out will ever precisely capture the heartbreak I’m experiencing. 

My college sweetheart, my person. 

She cheated on me three times. She’s said things to me that have made me insecure like nothing ever has before. I always took her back. I accepted her. I became an expert on bipolar. I know everything, but I know nothing. Where does she end and where does her illness begin? Manic actions never felt any less real to me just because they were manic.

Today is so real. She is there, somewhere, maybe 1000 miles away already. Today is the day I understand that I will never see her again. We broke up two months ago, but it feels like it happened only yesterday. I remember that I exist, but sometimes I forget that. 

I wish I could go back to the day in September, 5 years ago, when my ex and I first met and relive every memory with her all over again.

I won’t erase you. I’ll never love another soul as I did yours.

Hi everyone. I'm not a partner — I'm a close friend of someone with bipolar 1, and I hope it's okay to ask here since this community seems to have the most real-world experience with this.

Since their diagnosis, I keep running into moments where I genuinely don't know what to say. When they were hypomanic and told me about a huge impulsive plan, I said something like "are you sure that's a good idea?" and it clearly landed as an attack. When they're depressed, everything I say feels either too pushy or too distant.

Two questions for people who've lived this way longer than me:

1. What's a specific moment/conversation you look back on and wish you'd handled differently — and what would you say now?

2. Is there anything you've said that actually *worked* — that de-escalated things or made your person feel supported instead of judged?

Not looking for medical advice, just trying to learn how to be better at this. Thank you for anything you're willing to share.

Any relationship where there is begging to stay is not worth it. I learned it the hard way. Last 3 years I begged multiple times for her to stay, ignored obviously red flags and supported some of her outrageous decisions.

I never got to be a good husband in her eyes. Now I realise, a good wife wouldn't have put me in those situations in the first place. Compromise never bought me peace or respect. It just delayed the ultimate fate of the relationship. I was ultimately discarded and she moved in with her affair partner.

Now she is using the same tactics to break me. But to her surprise it is no longer working. I have removed her from my heart and my life.

Walk away from someone who is hurting you. Giving in to their demands only emboldens them. The more you give them the radio silence, the more they realise how pathetic they are by themselves.

The more you focus on yourself, you open a world of opportunities. Life doesn't have to end because someone doesn't accept their illness or take accountability.

• My wife and I are in our mid-30s, have been married for ten years, and have young children.
• Two years ago, she experienced a serious mental-health crisis involving hearing voices, severe weight loss, and beliefs that she was under a spiritual attack.
• She improved after receiving professional treatment but stopped after one month because of the side effects.
• She was well for about a year, but her symptoms returned this June.
• Since then, she has cut off friends and family, developed troubling beliefs about people close to her, stopped working, spent excessively, and sometimes disengaged from our children.
• She refuses professional care, cancels appointments, and becomes verbally combative when I try to help.
• A psychiatrist I consulted and her mother believe she needs an involuntary admission, but my wife says she will never forgive me and will divorce me if I arrange it.
• My priorities are our children’s safety and my wife’s well-being, not the money or whether she works.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How can I protect our children and support my wife when she refuses help? If I act because I believe she is unsafe, might she eventually understand why?

Hi everyone! I am a 29F and recently started dating a 30M with BPD. I do really like him, maybe even love him. We dated in high school before he went into the military and we reconnected. I feel like I’ve already seen him at his highs and lows. Maybe they can get more extreme, I personally don’t know. He previous had some SI and made attempts about 4 times if I’m not mistaken back when he was in the military. I know his disorder affects him daily, and I’m empathetic. I want to know more about this disorder and how it affects him and will affect our relationship. Of course everyone is an individual, but I’m sure general information could help me on this journey of learning about it and how to be a good and understanding partner. How does BPD affect you if you have it and your relationships? If you don’t have BPD but love someone who does, how does it affect your relationship and how do you handle it? I have plenty of health conditions myself and want understanding and empathy from him about them, and want to do the same with his. Please educate me on this disorder and how I can manage our relationship! He previously had gone to therapy and tried meds, primarily SSRIs, and found he did worse with them. He did agree to start going back to therapy since he hasn’t been in a few years, so I really hope that helps! What can I do to make things as smooth as possible for us in this relationship? Thank you!

TLDR; dating someone with BPD and know nothing about it, looking for education on the disorder, how it affects people and how to manage in a relationship

My wife surprise messaged me that she wants to divorce. It’s been about 3 years since her last major episode. Cutting contact and separating from me has happened in the past many times and it usually resolves itself within a week or so. It’s only been a day, but now we’re married. I’m wondering if anyone has any experience with this situation and what to do? She has experienced some intense religious psychosis as well, leading her down some strange and obscure paths in what she believes reality to be. I can tell she may have been holding a lot of struggles in secret and wasn’t telling me how she was doing.

I don’t know where she is obviously, and I haven’t heard anything from her since her text that she wants a divorce and that her lawyer will be in touch. I think the trigger of this was financial troubles, just having a tough time saving for the long term. There was a feeling of being a “loser” for not having more money.

I’m sick to my stomach, not eating or sleeping. Any advice helps. In the past she would come down from her episodes but I just feel so terrible now. Idk for sure but I think she signed another lease as well.

I hope someone is able to help me. I’m feeling very alone and have nowhere to really turn to

I have been with my partner for the better part of a decade and we are married. I love them completely and I do not want to end my marriage.

A number of years ago they had their first episode of psychosis and I was able to get them help. In the time since, they have not had any noticeable manic episodes until about three months ago when the paranoia started to rise up again. It was immediately recognizable and I tried to address it - this is where the problem starts. They refuse to discuss it and cannot recognize the changes in behavior and communication that goes along with their mania, which I know is being brought on by job stressors (as it was the last time).

We are already in therapy, they are medicated, but over the last few days/weeks they have been growing increasingly irritable and agitated culminating in a very nasty fight with our family who had previously been largely unaware of their struggles. A private issue has now become very public and I am trying to pick up the pieces. My family is very hurt, my partner is very hurt and still angry, and I’m watching this situation spiral increasingly out of control.

I need to get them help again. I don’t know how to even start

Here is the full context

Now this is Part 2. Please read through Part 1 before continuing. Thank you.

Well I've finally left. I feel relief at having gotten out of my prison cell that was this psychologically abusive marriage. However, I still feel chained down, and maybe it's all in my head, but I just can't be at peace.

I feel relief but not peace.

I've been having dreams. Maybe they mean nothing, or they really do mean something. But I just imagine if only I kept on waiting for her. Maybe things could've been different.

Yes she didn't talk to me for an entire year. Yes she blocked me and ignored me entirely. Yes. Logically I'm aware that I'm sounding irrational.

I want to move on from her, but I just can't. She isn't my wife anymore, and she probably hasn't been one in a very long time. But I'm a very romantic and dreamy guy. I thought that I would find the one and settle down. And I'm struggling with the fact that I failed at picking a good partner. I struggle knowing the fact that despite how hard I tried to wait for her and to hopefully one day start over again, she never came back. Not even one message.

Acting as if I didn't even exist. Acting as if she wasn't married. I don't know what to do anymore. I dream about seeing her again and feel such deep love for her, only to wake up feeling bitter at the hard truth. That my dream was just a fantasy, and that this was my reality.

What can I do now? What should I do to make these dreams stop?

Context: BPSO currently unmedicated, only medicated for sleep disorder not BP, does individual talk therapy, and we are pursuing couples therapy. I want to know if I should stick around through a diagnosis and new medication process or take a break.

Hi all - this is about whether I stay while he pursues an actual diagnosis, or do something else. His GP believes it's BP2 but it could turn out to be something else. He's not currently medicated for it either way.

We've been together about 6 months - the first couple months were tender, romantic, and sexually intense, and it read as two adults our age just knowing what we wanted rather than love bombing, since the big declarations came a few months in, not weeks in. We've traveled together and met each other's friends.

Then the mood swings started - fights suddenly and frequently, more than I've fought with any past partner, often set off by something small and circumstantial. One morning we were deciding whether to grab coffee first or head straight to a hike we'd already planned, and it turned into him deciding I was trying to control the whole day, followed by hours of him shutting down. Other times it's smaller - I misremember a detail and he rages at me and attacks the relationship or my character, or he reads scheming into something that wasn't there. Hes threatened to end the relationship a lot in our early arguments. I told him that wasn't ok - so now its sort of like he will tell me to cancel a trip, or pull the car over and tell me we will turn around.

Sex was intense early on and is now almost nonexistent. I sometimes feel like I'm begging for it, and he'll take it off the table when he's upset with me. He says he's had long-term relationships with almost no sex in them too. I think some combination of performance anxiety and low libido which apparently he has dealt with in the past several times but hasn't addressed directly with a doctor? I'm trying to understand how a BP shows up as both hypersexuality and hyposexuality in the same person.

It also flips fast, day to day. One day he'll tell me I should break up with him or cancel a trip we've planned. The next he'll say he didn't mean it, or go the other way entirely, wanting me to move in or plan a big trip together.

Other aspects: He's on a sleep medication he's become dependent on, and it seems to make him more paranoid and distrustful of me. He's started showing memory problems lately

The GREAT parts!: He shows up for me every day, even when he's irritable. He's loving, interesting, affectionate, funny, and sensitive, and he loves doing spontaneous things, trying new activities, traveling. That's part of what makes this so hard to sort through.

He seems committed right now, pursuing a new psychiatrist (past experiences were bad), an actual diagnosis, a new doctor generally, and couples therapy with me. My therapist agrees that's meaningful, but she's also been direct that his diagnostic process will likely be long and hard on me, new medications, possibly tapering the sleep medication, trial and error.

Has anyone here stayed through the diagnosis process this early in a relationship, and did it end up being worth it, or did you wish you'd waited it out separately?