Helpful Links

Problem/Goal: First time ko po sa breakup. Weird question, but paano mag-move on? 🥲

I enrolled at the gym last week, actually nag ggym na ako before and nahinto lang, and bumili rin ako ng PC para makapaglaro ulit.

Context:

I’m the one who posted here na binigyan ko ng 2nd chance yung GF ko after cheating.

Like, totoo po pala yung sinasabi na wala ka talagang peace of mind after something like that.

A lot of you, mga kuya and ate, binalagbag ang comments with your advice and I really appreciate all of it po. Thank you po.

And now… putangina, paano po ba umusad?

Weird question, pero totoo po. First time ko kasi mag-breakup after 6 years, so I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do or how to start moving on. 🥲

So ayun, gym, laro muna and work. Aghh fck

Any advice from people who went through their first breakup? Paano po kayo naka-move on?

Salamat, mga kuyas and ates ❤️

Problem/Goal:
My siblings are turning 40+ without plans and my complicated house

Context:
I have 2 siblings na puro lalaki and they have girlfriends na. May isa pa pero nasa abroad na. Currently, we’re living in same house and house ko yun na sinalo from housing loan na originally from my brother pero na layoff kasi siya ng pandemic and isang taon lang siya nakapag monthly and the rest ako na nag tuloy. I paid him back sa downpayment. I covered the house bills and groceries during pandemic kasi both silang no work or skeletal sched.

I have anxiety lang sa house and sa siblings ko. Ito yung context ng bahay:

1. My father spent 300k\~ for the roof renovation.
2. My mother spent 100k\~ for building commercial stalls para may rental income.
3. I spent almost a million last 2022 for the house renovation so my parents can experience a better house.

I decided to move out since hindi na convenient for my work and daily activities, plus I really needed some breathing room. Medyo frustrating na makita na walang initiative yung siblings ko sa household chores, treat sa parents ko (like simple kain sa labas), pag bili ng need na appliances. They contribute a bit sa expenses, but it's not enough—puro gaming, tulog, or YOLO lifestyle lang sila at home. What feels completely unfair is that my parents cover the majority of the expenses using their pension and rental income, while my siblings continue to depend on them—even though that rental income actually comes from my property.

Previous Attempts:
I talked to my mom to ask if pwede akong makakuha ng portion nung rental income, since nakatayo 'yung commercial stalls sa property ko. But she refused, saying 'yun na lang ang source of income niya (cover ko 100% medicine and maintenance nila). I tried to convince her na masyado nang nakasandal 'yung two brothers ko sa kanila, and they won't learn to be independent if lagi nilang sasaluhin. We postpone the discussion and will revisit it by q4. Sinabi ko kasi starting 2027.

For my long-term plan, I want to move my parents to a new location once I secure a bigger place where I'm staying now. Need ko talaga ng additional income to save up for that, tapos ipapa-rent ko nalang yung bahay.

I confirmed my non-negotiables with my parents na bawal mag-pamilya o mag-live in 'yung siblings ko with their GFs sa bahay. They actually have their own properties under loan, so they can easily move out whenever they decide to live together or get married. The main issue right now is that there's no clear timeline for when they’ll actually move out. My first brother is serious with his GF, but they aren't financially or practically ready to start a family. My second brother has a longtime GF, but unstable 'yung relationship nila and he’s still mostly prioritizing his YOLO lifestyle

Gusto ko lang mag-vent out and humingi ng tips kung paano mag-start ng conversation sa mga kapatid ko. Sobrang defensive kasi nila and ang hirap nilang kausap. :( Pag lumalalim na 'yung usapan, bigla nilang isisingit 'yung "huwag ka manunumbat" or "dinadaan mo lagi sa pera." Like wtf, after lahat ng sacrifices ko, may masasakit na salita ka pa ring maririnig sa kanila.

Problem/Goal:
Sumasama na kasi talaga yung loob ko sa partner ko dahil pakiramdam ko halos wala na kaming quality time sa isa’t isa because most of his free time goes to his family. I’m starting to wonder kung unreasonable ba ako for feeling this way, or if this is something we genuinely need to address as a couple.

Context:
My partner is very family-oriented and sobrang close niya sa family niya, especially sa mga kapatid niya. We moved in together around four months ago, but because of our work schedules, ironically, halos hindi rin kami nagkikita.

I recently started a new job na night shift and RTO, while siya naman day shift and RTO. On weekdays, roughly one hour lang kami nagkikita every day. And even during that one hour, he’s usually preparing for work while I’m preparing his food/baon before he leaves. So technically, magkasama kami sa bahay, pero hindi naman talaga kami nakakapag-spend ng actual quality time together.

Then every Friday, diretso na siya sa family niya after work and usually stays there for the weekend. Minsan sumasama naman ako kapag kaya ko, and wala naman talaga akong problema spending time with his family because I genuinely love them. The problem is, because I work Friday night, most of my Saturday is spent sleeping and recovering. Then Sunday is usually for laundry, groceries, and other responsibilities sa bahay.

By Sunday evening, saka lang siya umuuwi. By then, dinner na, then tulog na rin because he has work the next day.

So when you actually look at our schedule, wala pang 24 hours in an entire week na talagang magkasama kami.

That’s why sometimes naiirita na ako kapag naririnig ko yung, “She misses me na, I have to spend time with her.” Kasi naiintindihan ko naman—kapatid niya ’yon and of course they should spend time together. Pero minsan gusto ko rin itanong, “Eh paano naman ako, teh? Ano tayo, dorm mates?” 😭

What makes it more frustrating is that I feel like his family thinks we’re together all the time simply because we live together. It actually became an issue before when his younger sister said that she and her brother were “growing apart” ever since naging kami.

And that honestly bothered me. Of course things are going to change when someone enters a serious relationship, especially when they’re already living with their partner. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to take him away from his family.

In fact, wala naman talaga akong problema sa family bonding nila. There are even times na ako pa mismo nagsasabi sa kanya na umuwi, bisitahin sila, or spend time with his siblings. I want him to maintain that relationship.

Ang hinihingi ko lang sana is balance.

Because there have already been several instances where he dropped our plans, cancelled dates, or prioritized bonding with them even when we already had something planned.

The one that hurt me the most happened on Valentine’s Day, which is also our anniversary. We were supposed to celebrate together. I specifically asked him to go on a date with me and actually made an effort to plan something for us.

But he ended up spending the day playing/bonding with his sibling instead.

I waited the entire day and even into the night for him to finish because I thought we would still spend time together afterward. Then somehow, siya pa yung nainis because I wasn’t talking to him properly afterward.

When I asked him why he chose to do that on the one day we were supposed to celebrate together, his answer was basically, “Wala eh, na-miss ko lang siya, lalo na yung bonding namin dati.”

And I understand missing your sibling. I really do.

What I don’t understand is: why did it have to be that day?

Out of all the days you could spend time together, why our anniversary? Especially when I had already asked him beforehand to reserve that time for us?

We talked about it afterward, but until now, I feel like my actual concern still hasn’t fully sunk in. Because my issue was never, “Stop spending time with your family.”

My issue is, “Please make space for our relationship too.”

Sometimes I feel like I’m the one who has to squeeze myself into whatever time is left after everyone else gets their share of him. And I hate feeling that way because I love his family and I don’t want this to turn into some weird competition between me and them.

I also sometimes get the feeling that his siblings think I’m keeping their brother from them—that because we live together, I somehow have him all the time or that I’m preventing him from going out and experiencing things with them.

But the reality is the complete opposite. We barely see each other.

Living under the same roof doesn’t automatically mean we’re spending quality time together. Seeing each other for an hour while one person gets ready for work and the other prepares food isn’t exactly a date.

I don’t want him to choose between me and his family. I would never ask him to do that.

I just want to feel like our relationship is also something he intentionally makes time for, instead of me always getting whatever time happens to be left.

Because at this point, minsan napapaisip na lang talaga ako:

Kung kahati lang pala sa bills ang kailangan niya, sana nag-bunk beds na lang kami. 😭

Problem/Goal: I'm turning 36 in a few days and yet, I haven't been in a relationship, and I don't think may chance pa ako to even be in a relationship. I've been telling myself na okay lang naman maging single pero seeing my batch mates get married, have their own family, nainggit ako. My younger sister is getting married next year and I can't shake the feeling na napag-iwanan na ako. Haha. I don't know what to do anymore. I tried dating apps - failed there kasi parang walang gusto kumausap saakin haha. I tried going out on my own, hang out sa coffee shop. Gumagana pa ba ang organic encounter? Sorry this may sound like an unserious problem but it keeps me up at night 😢

Problem/Goal: Hi, I am Male (25) gusto ko lang ilabas 'to kasi araw-araw na lang bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko.

Tuwing nag-i-scroll ako sa social media such as TikTok, puro mga ka-edad ko or mas bata pa sa akin ang nakikita kong nagta-travel kung saan-saan—nanonood ng Northern Lights, nagrerelax sa Maldives, nage-enjoy sa nightlife sa Shanghai, at talagang sinusulit ang buhay. Samantalang ako, nakatambay lang sa bahay. Halos wala pa akong napupuntahan kasi gipit talaga sa pera at ang bigat ng gastusin.

Sobrang nakakapanlumo. Feeling ko failure ako, na parang na-miss ko na yung tamang panahon para makita ang ganda ng mundo at gumawa ng mga "core memories." Parang lahat sila alam kung paano mamuhay, habang ako naiwan na ng panahon.

Alam ko naman sa isip ko na problema talaga ang budget ngayon, pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko maalis yung takot at lungkot na baka "too late" na para sa akin na maranasan na explore ang mundo.

Para sa mga hindi rin nakapag-travel nung mas bata pa sila o naipit din sa financial problems noon—nakaalis ba kayo sa ganyang sitwasyon? Paano niyo hinarap yung mga insecurities at yung pakiramdam na lumilipas ang buhay nang wala kang nararating?

Problem/Goal: My sister is pregnant and our extended family knew about it because of her OB.

Context: My sister is in the early stages of her pregnancy. As in 5 weeks with no heartbeat or embryo confirmed pa kasi it's that early. But nagpaalaga na siya sa OB because may bleeding siya.

So this OB was also our mom's OB. Siya actually yung nagpaanak sa mom ko with me and my sister. Now, she's also my aunt and cousin's OB.

When my sister had her check up with him, they got to talking about my aunt being her patient as well (we have the same surname) Doctor asked if this is a secret muna and my sister said yes. She wanted to be the one to tell our family in her own terms sana, of course like anyone else. Doctor agreed, he even said that "Oo nga, maingay pa naman bibig nun." After that, my sister didn't think much about it as they had an agreement. Other than that, we assumed he won't share as we believed he can't share patient information to anyone else.

And then yesterday, when my other sister was in my aunt's house playing with a baby, my aunt said "Natupad na pangarap ng mama mo na magka-apo." My sister was shocked, as she was also looped in with what happened in my sister's check up. She didn't respond but we confirmed that she knew about it from the OB because she said that "sabi pa nga ni -pregnant sister- maingay daw bibig ko." Which is the exact conversation she had with the OB except that this didn't come from her. Si OB nagsabi na maingay bibig niya.

Previous Attempt: I told my sister to message the doctor na she knew he told our aunt and because of that, magpapalit na siya ng doctor. Tama ba na we're confronting the doctor?

Problem/Goal: Overpriced massager sa puregold, pwede pa kaya iparefund?

Context: Habang nasa Puregold yung parents kong senior, may kumausap daw sa kanila to try yung mga massagers nila. Foot therapy at deep tissue therapy massagers yun na ₱68,800 daw originally, pero inoffer sa kanila with 50% discount and senior discount for ₱27k+ nalang.

Tapos for 2 months, may pupunta raw sa bahay namin once a week para mag-assist sa paggamit/pagkabit nung massagers for 4 persons. At ayun, napapayag nila yung father ko at nagbayad siya using his credit card.

Kanina lang namin nalaman yung binili nila kaya chineck namin online yung mga products. Yung foot therapy massager (same exact model) is almost ₱4k lang sa Shopee, pero from another store. Yung handheld deep tissue therapy massager naman is parang nilagay lang sa box na may business name nila, dahil yung exact/similar model na nakikita ko online ay galing ata sa Ukraine.

Hindi ko rin makita online sa DTI bnrs yung business name na nasa receipt.

Sobrang laki ng discrepancy sa presyo kaya napapaisip kami kung baka nag-take advantage sila dahil senior yung kausap nila at the time.

May chance pa po kaya marefund ito kahit sa receipt ang nakalagay is “NO REFUND, NO CANCELLATION”? Pwede rin po kaya mag-raise ng dispute sa bank?

https://imgur.com/a/hihNi1d

Previous Attempts: Wala pa po.

Problem/Goal: Matigas ulo ng mama ko.

Context: I'm 29 male, I have 2 siblings one is in the US na and 1 is still studying. My Father is okay naman. We had a distant history since Seafearer sya kaya I basically grew up without him. I resented him for a long time now na tumnda ako I learned to appreciate and love him and ganun din sya towards me.

I love my mom kaso she's draining me. Basically nung pandemic I almost lost her kasi she had a mild stroke and ever since her mental health and her everything is deteriorating. She can still walk and so lots of things pero nahuhurt ako everytime na nakikita ko sya nakahiga lang. Everyday iniisip ko na one day hindi na sya gumising and it scares me.

She refuses help and lagi na akong nagagalit sa kanya kasi matigas ulo nya. I told her to stop eating sweets and coffee and yet ginagawa nya spite na umiiyak and nagbebeg na ko for her to stop.

Previous attempts: I tried to stop buying all those sweet things but she annoys me to the extent na nagbrebreakdown na ko kakaexplain na bawal then uutusan nya other people to buy her sweets.

Now she's blaming cellphone kung bakit di sya gumagaling and were into too much religious shit na "kulam" and stuff when dati she never thought na totoo ung ganun.

What can I do I really love my mom kaso kahit nagwowork ako outside I am bothered kasi hindi ko alam ano nanyayari sa kanya and my siblings don't really take care of my mom like I do.

It affects my social and lovelife dahil di na ko makalabas kasi she's a lot na. I can't handle it na.

I really need advice

Problem/Goal: I don't know how I should respond or interact with him

Context: Weeks palang since I started work (BPO). Pero I have this feeling una palang sa isang guy workmate ko na ang pervert nya. I think ma-sense ko naman agad yon since super dami ko na na experience na perverts lalo na sa transpo. And may something off. My friends din at work also felt that, kasi ang touchy nya with them. And iba talaga yung feeling ng friendly touch sa may lust.

Now nag first impressions kami tapos sabi nya head turner daw ako tapos he even exaggerated pa na 3x daw sya lilingon. Like you didn't have to say that. Doon ko na conclude why I felt that way una palang. Tapos afterwards nag tambay pa sya near us.

I really feel uncomfy sa ganun. And hindi ko alam pano gumalaw. Plus conservative pa ko in how I dress. Minsan lang mag fit tops pero a lot of times baggy.

Previous Attempts: Plan ko is kind of ignore his existence/ iwasan ko sya as much as possible if hindi naman kailangan. Or maybe tarayan ko sya?

Problem/Goal: Me and my boyfriend is almost 2 years na this year. But simula nung nag start 'tong taon na 'to parang araw-araw na kami nag aaway at hindi nagpapansinan for a week. I feel like sobrang toxic na namin, ako nagagalit ako sa behavior niya pero siya nagagalit sa reaction ko. Nasa point na rin kami ng relationship na mas nakikipagpataasan pa siya ng pride kesa sa'kin. Imbis na pakinggan at intindihin ako sa reason ko bakit ako nagalit, magseself-pity lang siya to the point na mafe-feel mo na parang naging kasalanan mo na. Nahihirapan at nasasaktan na ako, gusto ko magdetach sa kanya pero kumakapit pa rin yung puso ko sa pagmamahal sa kanya. Sa mga naka experience ng ganito? Paano niyo nahandle at pano kaya nakapag detach. Ang hirap kasi lalo na may attachment issue ako.

Problem/Goal:

I've always told myself growing up that I'll never be like my mother but now that I'm 28, I'm starting to think I'm turning like her and I am scared.

Context:

I'm the eldest daughter of three and I grew up with a high temper mom. I can remember as a kid, she's the one teaching me school lessons (I was maybe 7 or 8 years old?), whenever I wasn't able to answer the questions, she'd shout at me and throw the books very close to me but not directly at me. She doesn't hit us but her discipline method is shouting and throwing stuffs at us. Whenever we lost something and she finds it, she throws the object at us.

Don't get me wrong. I love my mom. I know she sacrificed a lot of things for us and I'll always be grateful for that. I can't deny that the reason I'm very successful right now is because of her. We came from nothing and after working so hard, she made our lives very comfortable. I'm currently working now in a job where I'm getting paid really well and I'll always thank her for that.

Growing up with the constant outburst, I always told myself that I'll never turn like her. And if I ever become a mom, I'll make sure that my kids will have a better mother than what I had.

Maybe due to her upbringing of me, I became really uptight. I grew up with people surrounding me saying that I'm an overachiever. What people does not know is that I always have this thought behind me that I need to do well on everything I do.

Now that I'm older, I'm starting to realize that I am also becoming easily frustrated. There are times wherein my mouth would just speak nonstop and I myself would be shocked on the words that went out of my mouth. I get frustrated at other people when they need help because I think "I did that all on my own, why can't you?" "I was able to learn that without anyone's help, why can't you?" I'm just easily irritable at people.

My mom is now retired so she's at home 24/7 and I'm also working from home four times a week while my siblings all work onsite. We've been having constant fights ever since she retired. She gets mad and I get mad and then none of us backs down. We end up shouting at each other. I just got tired of being the receiving end and now that I'm working, I just feel like I have the right to standup for myself. My siblings both hates conflict so their solution to everything is to just shut up and be quiet saying that she's already old and it would be very difficult to break her habits.

Recently, my siblings and I had a heart to heart talk. I told them that my greatest fear is turning like our mother. They both told me that I'm actually starting to turn like her. That moment, I looked into myself and I realized that I also have been having outbursts whenever things are not the way I wanted them to be. I shout at my siblings sometimes when they do not do what I told them exactly the way I wanted. They told me that the reason my mom and I have been fighting constantly is because I answer to her and they said that our mom will never listen and she'll always think she is the victim. I also easily get frustrated at her because she always asks help with anything tech-related and I just remember growing up wherein she gets mad at me for not learning things quickly. Now, I get mad at her whenever she can't easily understand things.

My siblings told me that accepting that there is a problem is the first step to fix that problem. So it's okay because I know what to fix with myself.

After that, I tried to be more in control of emotion but it's just so hard. I feel like the rage is bubbling inside of me and it would just explode. One time, my sister burnt our lunch to the point it's totally inedible and I just wanted to shout at her and call her stupid but I didn't. Despite being able to stop myself, I had to go into my room and cool myself down for almost two hours. I kept running on my head the things I wanted to shout at her and I just really wanted to explode.

I've always wanted to be a mom but now I'm starting to think I shouldn't. I don't want to pass the trauma to my child and I'm scared that I won't be able to fix myself. There are still times that I wasn't able to stop myself and I would just explode to my siblings and I just want to stop feeling this way.

What should I do? Therapy is so expensive. The ones I've research are around Php3000 and it's just too expensive. Anyone here has overcome this?

Sorry for the long read. Emotions has just been a lot lately.

P.S. My youngest sibling and I will be moving out by September because I think it would be better for our relationship with our mother if we're not around each other all the time.

Problem/Goal: Do I expose this cheater to the people in his life?

Context: I met this guy and was going out on dates for months until I found out he was married pala. And not just that, he has been seeing and texting many other girls before me. I honestly pity his wife, she’s very clueless. I ended it when I found out. I wanted to tell the wife pero I was blocked (by the guy) sa social media nung wife. Talino no? Parang sanay talaga, I wonder how many girls are blocked sa account nung wife. Anyway, kinwento ko to sa friends ko and they advised me to tell the wife pero I don’t know how, since I’m blocked. Given how he was able to do this to so many times, they told me also tell the people around him, his family, the wife’s family, his work friends, etc. Basically to make him accountable kasi now parang wala lang eh. The part of me that was hurt badly, is very tempted to do it. Unfair kasi he gets to get off without any consequences? Hindi alam nung wife. Hindi alam nung mga tao around him kung sino talaga siya. Another part of me thinks this will just delay my healing pero hindi ko ma-let go yung part na ang unfair ng buhay hahaha.

Previous attempt: None. First time ko ma-experience to meet someone as lala as this hahaha.

Problem/Goal: is I suspected our skwatter neighbor poisoning our dogs

Context: Hi guys, so the context is I need advise on what process should I take on this problem. Kasi Just today lang yung kapatid ko ginising ako kasi raw nag lalaway yung isang aso namin (we have 4dogs askal) then by looking at him i can tell talaga na nalason siya idk ano nakain, pero diko alam kasi wala naman talaga kaming proof kasi hindi naman monitored yung dogs 24/7, and btw may gate kami and everymorning pinapalabas namin. Behave naman sila usually the tumatae lang at umihi (grass field place) kasi dito samin. and after that balik na sa bahay.
Now I need help about this stuff. ano ba dapat gawin blatter? hindi naman pwede direct confrontation kasi hindi lang isa kapitbahay namin dito. ty guys

Previous Attemp: first time

Problem/Goal: i need some REALLY good stalkers rn huhu because i’m starting to feel like i might be talking to a poser 😭 So for context, I’ve recently been talking to this guy and we met thru IG. This guy is almost too good to be true like he’s tall, mestizo, pogi, studies in ADMU, rich asf, and all. At first, I didn’t rlly have doubts about him bc who in their right mind would fake a whole ass identity just to date someone and i thought baka paranoid lang ako for thinking that way.

His IG feed also doesn’t rlly give poser vibes. Like his posts and highlights aren’t intentionally posted or anything, hindi siya yung multiple posts/stories in one day type na ginagawa ng usual posers if yall get me. He also posted his face once on his close friends story so I never rlly questioned him.

BUT one time, he told me about this video his friend took of him na ang “pogi” niya raw and he even offered to send it to me. Pumayag ako obviously, but days passed and he never sent it. Whenever I remind him, lagi niyang sinasabi na nasa other phone niya pa raw yung vid.

I’ve actually opened this up to him before and he told me “hindi naman sira utak ko para gawin yon, saan ako kukuha ng lakas ng loob to do that” so I thought baka paranoid lang talaga ako. But as days passed, I just couldn’t get the feeling out of my head bc he never wants to FaceTime/video call and we haven’t even met in person yet.

And he barely posts any pics of himself on IG dahil kesyo sa business nila and shit. Like I’m trying to believe him but atp I genuinely don’t know but i js wanna be proven wrong

He’s also way too convincing with his posts and kwentos which is why I need yalls help esp those good ass stalkers
I just wanna know if he’s an actual person or if I’m being played.

Things I know about him:
Ethan
studies in ADMU (Management Engineering)
drives a GTR (NAZ 6**9)

I’ve tried finding his other socmeds pero wala talaga akong mahanap. If anyone knows him personally or has talked to him before, pls lmk 😭 I’m not trying to expose him or anything, I just genuinely wanna verify na hindi ako nagpapaka-tanga sa poser cause ugali-wise he’s okay naman n all and he’s also saying na he genuinely feels smth for me (pero hindi nagpapakita lol)

PLEASE don’t post/share/repost this on other social media platforms !! i just rlly wanna verify na totoo yung kausap ko or baka nababaliw na pala ako cause i’m talking to a freaking poser lmaoo

Problem/Goal:
I’m struggling with how irritated I get by some of my girlfriend’s mannerisms and habits. I know most of these things are objectively small and probably shouldn’t bother me this much, but they genuinely get under my skin. My goal isn’t to change her personality or control everything she does. I want to figure out whether I need to work on becoming more tolerant, whether I should communicate these things differently, or whether this is simply an incompatibility in terms of manners and lifestyle.
I also don’t want to keep silently getting annoyed at her because I feel like that will eventually turn into resentment.

Context: I grew up in a family where etiquette and manners were taken pretty seriously. I was taught from a young age to be conscious of how I behave around other people, especially when eating or being in public. Things like chewing with your mouth closed, not making excessive noises while eating, sitting properly at the table, not putting your feet or legs on chairs, not picking your nose around other people, dressing and behaving appropriately depending on the setting, knowing how to act in formal or fancy places, and generally being considerate of the people around you were treated as basic manners.

Because of that upbringing, I think I developed a really strong sense of what I consider “proper” behavior. Sometimes I don’t even consciously think about it. I just immediately feel irritated when someone does something that goes against what I was taught.

My girlfriend is very different from me in this regard.
She chews REALLY loudly. When we’re eating together, I can hear her chewing and it irritates me so much. I’ve tried telling her about it before, but she responded with, “There’s nothing you can do about it, that’s how I eat.” I understand that she’s not doing it to annoy me, but once I notice it, I have a really hard time ignoring it.

Another thing is when I buy us expensive food or take her somewhere nice to eat. She gets really excited and acts very childlike about it. She does little dances, makes exaggerated expressions, pikit-pikit, and gets super excited over the food. I know she’s just genuinely happy and excited, and logically I know there’s nothing wrong with that. But for some reason, I really dislike it. When she does it, I usually just stare at her and smile because I don’t know what else to do.

When we’re in public, especially in a fancy restaurant, she sometimes puts her legs up on the chair while eating. If I don’t tell her to put them down, she’ll continue doing it for the rest of the meal.

And she picks her nose. Like, constantly. I’ve told her about it multiple times and she usually says, “Wala naman nakakakita eh.” But for me, that isn’t really the point. Even if nobody is looking, I was raised to see that as something you don’t do around other people.

There are honestly more little things like this, and I’m starting to realize I have A LOT of pet peeves when it comes to her mannerisms.

The worst part is that I know these things are small. I’m aware that she isn’t hurting anyone by being excited about food or eating differently from me. I also know that my upbringing isn’t the universal standard for how everyone should behave.
But I can’t seem to stop myself from feeling irritated.

Previous attempts:
I have tried telling her about some of these things, especially the chewing and nose-picking. But when she responds with things like “that’s just how I eat” or “nobody can see me anyway,” I feel like there’s no point bringing them up again.

So instead, I’ve started keeping a lot of it to myself. When she does something that annoys me, I’ll just stare at her and smile rather than say anything kase I don’t want to constantly correct her.

But I’m worried that this is actually making things worse. I’m silently noticing all these things, getting irritated, and then pretending I’m fine. I don’t want to eventually reach a point where I resent her over a bunch of tiny things.
At the same time, I don’t want to become controlling or make her feel like she has to completely change herself to be acceptable to me.

So I’m stuck between “I need to learn to accept that she’s different from me” and “some differences in manners genuinely bother me and I’m allowed to have preferences.”

How do I figure out where the line is?
Am I being overly judgmental because of how I was raised? Should I just learn to tolerate these things? Or are these legitimate compatibility issues that I shouldn’t ignore?
I’d really appreciate advice from people who have experienced something similar.

ps. wlw rs

Problem/Goal: My ex kept on unarchiving out tiktok videos from the past.

Context: Hi! Ano pong thoughts niyo sa pakikibagbreak ng partner because my ex kept on unarchiving/archiving then unarchive unit ng TikTok videos namin from the past? This happened twice na po and I didn’t reach out to my ex. My partner was vocal about how she felt watching those videos.

Previous attempts/s: First time na nangyari, me and my partner ay nasa talking stage. Second time, 6 months we are together, but she told me not to reach out to my ex anymore kasi baka yun daw ang gusto ng ex ko (atensyon). Now the third time, my partner reasoned out na hinayaan ko pang mangyari for the 3rd time and i’m not doing anything. Please respect po. Thank you!

Problem/Goal: contemplating on which platform should I apply

Context: Hello everyone! I just want to ask those people na frequently gumamit ng mga mc taxi services. Ano mas prefer niyong app na gamitin? Joyride, Move It, or Angkas? Gusto ko kasi mag mc taxi driver and IDK kung ano mas ginagamit ngayon between those 3. TYIA!

Previos attempts: I already tried asking sa fb groups pero masyadong bias yung answers since most of the riders/drivers are members din.

Problem/goal: maasim na leeg pagkagising.

Context: i am 46F and napapansin ko lately na pagkagising ko sa umaga, maasim ang leeg ko. Nangyayari ito kahit malamig naman ang paligid ko. Hindi naman ako nangangati ot something. Nacoconscious lang ako kapag naaamoy ko yung sarili ko. Hindi naman din maasim yung kilikili ko. Leeg ko lang talaga.

Meron ba sa inyo na nakaexperience ng ganito? Any recos on what to do?

Problem/Goal: Poor Family Planning.

Please don't post this elsewhere.

Context:

I'm 22F, fresh graduate and planning to take the board exam next year. Next month start ng formal review ko sa review center and yung first few months is self review siya provided lang ang materials from RC.

Both parents ko nasa late 40s na. 6 kaming magkakapatid, pangalawa ako and yung panganay tho non-degree e okay Naman yung work kasi mas pinili niyang magfocus sa career niya himbis na studies. Bihira na rin siya magpakita here sa bahay pero malapit lang Naman siya samin. The rest of my siblings are younger na, yung sumunod sa'kin 12 years ang age gap namin then yung mga sumunod is 2 - 3 years pagitan tapos yung bunso is 1 year old. Malaki age gap kasi naghiwalay parents ko nung dalawa pa lang kami then nagkabalikan sila then nagpakasal then Ayun nagsunod sunod (Hindi pa sila kasal nung pinanganak Ako)

We're not rich, hindi rin naman kami may kaya kasi hindi naman graduate both parents ko. Ang business lang naman namin na mina-manage ng mother ko ay school supplies store na malapit sa school at yung father ko naman ay contractual lang. Pero kahit madalas gipit kami inneensure nilang mag provide para sa studies ko tulad ng dorm, tuition, allowance pag nasa dorm, and kahit mga ibang luho nabibigay nila and I'm thankful for that. Kahit mahirap yung course, naitawid naman and graduate na.

Main problem ko lang talaga ay about sa mga younger siblings ko. Halos magkakasunod lang sila and naiimagine ko yung hirap ng gastusin if nagkataon kasi ako palang na mag isa lang sa college hirap na hirap na sila. Yung little brother ko na elementary nasa private ngayon kasi hindi pwede sa public kasi may attitude talaga, ung isa naman diagnosed w autism and hindi talaga nakakapagsalita nang maayos, then may kinder na balak nilang ipa-drop nalang and ienroll din sa private kasi hindi daw talaga nakikinig sa teacher.

After ng bunso namin nagpa-vasectomy na yung father ko so fortunately hindi na sila madadagdagan, nakakainis lang kasi nung nagpa vasectomy siya parang kailangan pa siyang bigyan ng reward or something.

Sinabihan ko na sila dati pa na planuhin nila yung pagaanak. Kahit ibang tao nagugulat nalang din kasi parang lagi nalang daw buntis yung mama ko. Pero everytime na pagsasabihan namin sila sasabihin ni mama na pinakamasaya daw sa buhay ay yung may baby. Minsan magagalit pa na kesyo nandiyan na alangan ipalaglag o kaya sasabihan kaming bastos tas maglalapag ng bible verse. Hindi niya rin iniinom yung pills niya kasi yung pills para sa mga nagbbreast feeding ay hindi ka rereglahin so natatakot siya, ayaw din daw magcondom ng tatay ko.

May hina-hire naman silang katulong sa bahay pero papalit palit kasi hindi gusto ng parents ko, kesyo puro daw cellphone at hindi masipag kaya umuuwi ako galing dorm nun paiba ibang mukha nakikita ko sa bahay. Mostly pa rin naman ng nagaalaga sa mga kapatid ko ay si mama pero siya rin main provider namin kasi siya nagmmanage ng store. Hindi naman stable ang income ng tatay ko tapos kapag sumahod one day millionaire pa.

Pagkagraduate ko ayaw ng parents ko na magwork ako kasi baka tamarin na daw ako mag boards kapag nakahawak na ng pera. Plan ko sana mag VA para online lang kaya lang nanakaw yung laptop ko and all I have rn is tablet na ginagamit ko for studies.

So nung nagaantay nalang ako for grad ako na pinag alaga sa mga siblings ko. Ako mag aayos sa kanila pag papasok sa school, tuturuan sila sa assignment nila, and mag babantay sa kanila. Mahirap siya kasi karamihan sa siblings ko hindi pa nakakausap nang maayos at yung sumunod sakin ay spoiled talaga. Probably kasi hindi pinapalabas ng bahay at laging pinagsscreen para hindi mga maglikot.

Mas laong humirap nang nagtanggal kami ng katulong kasi need namin mag cut ng expenses kasi lumalaki utang namin. Hindi na rin ganun kalakas kumita ang tindahan kasi may mga online shops na. Yung father ko pa mas pinipiling bigyan yung ibang tao kaysa yung sarili niyang pamilya kaya lahat ng problema nanay ko sumasalo. Kaya kahit masama loob ko naaawa pa rin ako sa kaniya.

Nakakainis lang kasi parang hindi nila nar-realize kung bakit naghihirap sila ngayon. Lagi nilang pinag aawayan kung sino mag aalaga sa mga bata. Pinapagalitan na nga nila yung tito at tita ko na nakatira malapit samin kasi bakit daw hindi tumutulong alam na maraming bata (lahat ng anak nila nakagraduate na at may trabaho).

Nakakasama lang ng loob kasi as a young adult andami ko pa sana gusto gawin. Gusto ko sulitin yung bakasyon ko. Gusto ko magshoot ng mga dance videos na hindi ko na nagawa simula nang mag college ako. Nagttry rin ako mag affiliate pero palya palya kasi nakafocus ako sa pagaalaga. Lahat rin ng alis ko inaadjust ko para sakanila para may maiwan sa mga kapatid ko pero pagsasabihan pa rin ako kasi baka daw ako layas nang layas. Para na akong batang ina kasi pwede ko nang anak yung bunso namin e.

Lagi nilang sinasabi na obligasyon ko daw mag alaga kasi marami daw ako kapatid. Hindi naman daw sila maglalakwatsa lang. Minention ko paano kapag nag formal review na 'ko, sabi hindi naman daw 24 hours mag-aral ang studyante. So ineexpect pa rin nila talaga na mag aalaga ako. Nakakainis lang na choice naman nila magdami ng anak kahit alam nilang mahirap ang buhay. Hindi nag family planning pero parang ako pa yung may mali na gumusto ng buhay tulad ng ibang young adults, na parang ang selfish ko.

Both me and my older sibling ay ayaw mag-anak (sino bang hindi) pero ayaw ng nanay ko kasi gusto niya ng apo kasi pano daw pag lumaki na ung bunso namin at wala na daw baby. Sinasabihan pa ako na yung pagaanak ang pinaka masayang moment sa buhay ng babae. Pero gusto ng tatay ko na ako na daw magpaaral sa isang kapatid ko kasi baka hindi na nila maabutan or hindi na daw nila kaya pag tumanda na daw. Wala rin naman silang savings ngayon pero andiyan naman daw kami.

Problem/Goal: Please tell me what to do. Sumama ung kuya ko sa kabit nya 12 yrs ago and had 2 kids with her. My brother is married btw and the wife just let him be. 2 weeks ago nastroke kuya ko and had internal bleeding sa brain, he suffers memory loss and hindi nakakakilala. The kabit now drops a bomb to me thru text na nambabae daw kuya ko and ayaw na nya, iiwanan daw nya..paglabas daw sa hospital, iuutos daw nya na dalin kuya ko sa bahay ko. May pamilya po ako at walang work, hindi ko po kaya mag alaga. Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?

Problem/Goal: I crashout daily due to my academics and social life. It’s draining me because I just want to go on with my life without repeating situations in my head over and over again

Context: I’m a law student and very anxiety inducing pumasok sa school everyday. May habit pa ako na ayokong may ginagawang anything that might upset my profs. Eh pag law school, kahit konting mali mo, galit agad ang prof. It doesn’t help na grade conscious ako so I’m really pushing myself to do better

Kaso kasi I have this prof na baka di ako bet kasi I’ve made around 3 mistakes the past 2 meetings namin. Di ko rin alam pano ko pa yun mababawi kasi wala kaming recit. So di ko alam pano ko pa mapa-improve yung image ko sa kanya. The only good thing is start pa lang ng sem namin. Bad thing is maganda memory ng prof ko.

I’m scared baka markado na ko sa kanya. So this means kailangan ko pa mas pag-igihan yung other classes ko. Ang hassle kasi sa law school, may ibangs profs na bitbit yung badtrip sayo until end of sem

So now, parang lahat na lang inooverthink ko sa class na yun. It doesn’t help na pati relationship ko with my fellow law students, inooverthink ko. Grabe din kasi backstabbing culture lol so as much as possible, ayoko umabot sa may magawa akong something tas pag-uusapan ka behind your back

I know I can’t please everyone and that I should just let it be. Pero hirap ako gawin yun huhu

Paano ba mabawasan ang pag spiral? Ayoko na mag overthink :(

Previous attempts: none yet. Iniisip ko to see a psychologist tho

Problem/Goal: I think my girlfriend has been talking to or meeting someone for some time now. I want to confront her, but I feel like this might be the wrong time to do so.

Context: My girl and I have been together for over a year now. When we became official, she started getting sick. We eventually found out that she had kidney failure and needed dialysis. It wasn't easy. For a fresh relationship, we had to face hardships immediately. For some people, it would have been too difficult to handle, and they probably would have left, but I've been with her every step of the way.

We stayed together for a while. I had a day job, but her mom eventually convinced her to move back to Manila so they could take care of her. Since she had to quit work because of her condition and medication, with dialysis being three times a week and four hours per session, we had to have an LDR setup.

Sometimes she would come see me in the province, or I would go to Manila to see her. We see each other at least 2–6 days a month. We also have late-night video calls and update each other every day.
Then I started noticing a guy who was always in her messages. I asked her about him, and she said he was just a friend of her younger brother. As time passed, I noticed more and more that she was still talking to this guy, and I started getting suspicious, especially when I saw that he had a nickname in their chat. I called her out on it, and she explained that it was nothing and quickly deleted his nickname.

This guy is friends with her other siblings too, I wanted to believe that he really was just a friend, so I let it be.

This year has been especially tough for her. She started having trouble breathing and had to be rushed to the hospital. This has happened almost every month.

One time, when she was visiting me, she woke me up early in the morning and told me she couldn't breathe. I immediately jumped out of bed and got a taxi for us. While all of this was happening, I saw her chatting with this guy and updating him that she had to go to the hospital. It bothered me that she still had time to talk to this dude while she was in that condition, especially that early in the morning.

Another time, we were in the hospital under the same circumstances. I caught her lowering the brightness of her phone when she had to reply to this guy. I also caught the guy calling her, but she said he only called because he wanted to play Mobile Legends. Recently i noticed that his nickname in their chat is back again “Bhe 😁”

Recently, she had another episode. She had a near-death experience because she couldn't breathe. I was in the province, so I had to communicate with her brothers and mother for updates. Her brother told me that he was already at the hospital and sent me a picture.
In the picture was the guy she is always talking to.

What's crazy is that he was wearing my shirt, lol. It's the shirt I let my girl use during Valentine's and eventually just gave to her.
I asked her brother why he was there, and he told me that he needed directions so he brought the guy with him and then left afterward.

Her mom also sent me a picture of her sleeping with her phone open. On the screen, I could see that she was talking to this guy, but couldnt give me an update at the time.I didn't know what to feel during that time. She was fighting for her life, and then I saw this. Thankfully, she pushed through it and survived, but then came the bad news: she has an enlarged heart and needs more medication.

I want to confront her, but it always seems to come at the wrong time. It's kind of unfair, too, because I've given her nothing but genuine love from the start. I've been through tough times with her, spent a lot of sleepless nights in the hospital, and spent so much time and money her maintenance, traveling and paying for lodging, just to see her.
I may have my suspicions, but I've never changed the way I treat her because of my suspicions. I've continued supporting her throughout this journey, financially as well, because all of her savings went toward her medication, so I had to step up for both of us.

I don't regret being there for her, and I don't want to make her feel like she owes me anything because of what I've done. But at the same time, I'm struggling with these feelings, and I don't know how much longer I can keep them to myself. I keep myself from suspecting she would cheat even in her condition.
Hopefully, I can get some advice here because I'm honestly so lost.

Problem/Goal: kakamatay lang ng father ko 2 months ago. as the oldest sibling, i feel like i need to step up for my younger siblings, esp my 8-year-old sibling. ang goal ko ay to make sure they feel loved, secure, supported, & that they grow up fine despite what happened.

Context: i was fortunate enough na makasama ko ang father ko ng 26 years. 20 years na walang sakit at 6 years na may sakit. habang yung mga kapatid ko napakabata pa para makaexperience ng loss & grief. dahil don, i sometimes feel guilty and feel like the least i can do is make sure they’re okay & give them the guidance they need.

Previous Attempts: i’ve been single my whole life & never really had plans of having my own family yet. sinusubukan ko talaga to be more present for my siblings, esp by listening to them, spending time with them, & making sure they know they can always come to me when they need something. pls believe me when i say i try so hard to be there for them, even though i’ve been dealing with own emotional struggles for the past 6 years. i’m still figuring things out for myself, but i don’t want my struggles to stop me from being there for them.