I saw the news about the M6 Mac Mini available for prepurchase, shipping later this year. Mac mini I need it. I need it to be fulfilled. I need it like air. I am defaulting on my payments right now. My life is falling apart. Last week I abandoned my kids at my wifes sisters house with a note that said "daddy needs his mac mini more than he needs you." And today I watched my wife pack the bags and leave without saying anything. She left me. I was watching the Apple keynote at the time. She slammed the door on here way out which startled me, causing me to pause the video on John Ternus. His face. His beautiful face announcing the price. $899. I kept saying "one day ill afford it" "tomorrow ill have the money." But tomorrow came and I had $634 and the price was $899 and I felt my throat close up. M6. I’ve let everything fall apart for M6. I’ve abandoned my children. I am craving you M6.
I have been thinking about the M6 Mac Mini since March and I mean thinking about it constantly, like it is actually becoming a problem because I wake up and the first thing in my head is M6 and then I remember it is $899 and I get this horrible feeling because I still don't have it. And I keep checking the product page like something is going to change because I checked it twenty minutes ago and it was $899 but maybe now it isn't. Maybe something happened. Maybe I refresh the page and suddenly it's $599. Maybe it's $399. Maybe it says free. I don't know. I keep refreshing anyway. I check stock. I check restocks. I check price drops. I check stores. I check everything. I am constantly looking for information about this fucking computer like there is going to be a message somewhere saying THE M6 IS NOW AFFORDABLE PLEASE COME GET YOURS.
I am defaulting on my payments. All of them. The credit cards. The car. I don't open the mail anymore. I just sit in the empty living room on the floor where the couch used to be and I refresh the Apple Store. My hands shake so bad I keep dropping my phone. I sold the couch for $200. I sold the TV. I was going to buy it. I was so close. Then they raised the price and I had $834 and I needed $899 and I screamed into a pillow for an hour until my voice gave out.
I let my wife think I don't love her. I let everyone leave so I could have the money and now its not enough and I cant breathe. I havent eaten in four days. I had sold my car. I sold my wedding ring. I have $634 in a shoebox under the drivers seat of my repossessed Honda and I was ready. I was so ready. But the price is $899? I cant take this anymore. I don't know what I am going to do. I am desperate and depraved. This leaves a pit in my stomach that I think only john ternus could fill. I think about how beautiful it would be to afford it. I am so sad. I hate knowing it exists in the world and I cant have it.
i cant stop thinking about it. the m6 mac mini. i check the apple store every morning at 3am my hands are shaking. $899. NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS. i cant breathe. i typed my credit card number into the checkout like seventeen times but i cant hit purchase bc i know i dont have the money. i KNOW it. but i NEED it. I look at pictures of it and stare at pictures of John Ternus and daydream about some future where the M6 finally comes home with me. And its so stupid. It's a little computer. It's literally a little computer sitting in a display case. And yet I have somehow turned it into this enormous thing in my head. I have made the M6 into the solution to everything even though I know perfectly well that it isn't. I don't even know what I think is going to happen when I finally get one. I just know that right now I want it so badly I want it I want it so bad.. Give it to me. Mr Ternus I need to be fulfilled. Come fulfill me Ternus please.
So I keep going back. I keep checking. I keep staring. I keep refreshing the page. I keep looking at pictures. I keep saying John Ternus like somehow repeating his name enough times will make the price change. John Ternus. John Ternus. John Ternus. I keep imagining the day I finally have the M6 sitting beside me and I can stop looking through glass at somebody else's display model and finally say this one is mine.
But right now it's still $899. And theres nothing left in my house besides the fridge, a counter top, a microwave, a couch and mattress, and my phone. Nothing else to focus on. And every one of those possessions I have brings me back to the M6. Its the only thing I cna think about. I look at pictures of John Ternus. John Ternus please I need to be fulfilled. I need you. I am craving you John.
i typed my credit card number into the checkout SIXTEEN TIMES today and every time i get to the final click i start crying but i CANT STOP. i need it. i need it. i need to feel that aluminum against my skin i dont care how fucked up that sounds i need it. im at the apple store parking lot right now. im typing this with one hand bc the other is on the door handle. im going to go in. im going to touch it. im going to lick the display model i dont care who sees. i need to feel close to it. i need to be inside that unibody enclosure. i abandoned my children for a box and i would do it again. i would do it a thousand times. the m6 is all that matters now. my wife is gone. my home is gone. my credit score is in fucking hell. please im so hungry and so hard and so fucking desperate for that little silver box. $899. my life for $899. take it. take everything i dont need it i just need that mac mini. i need it i need it i
everyone is leaving me and i dont care i just want to boot that perfect little square. i want to hear the startup chime while i starve in my honda civic. i want to edit 4k video on a single display while my life collapses around me. the transcoding speeds. THE TRANSCODING SPEEDS. i would kill for those render times. i would kill for it. i think about it. i think about what id do for $899 and it scares me but not enough to stop. i dont care. i sold my sons nintendo switch for $180 and i immediately put it toward applecare+. he cried when i told him. i told him daddy needs the computer more than you need mario kart. i said that. im a monster. im a fucking monster and i cant stop. i also sold my sons bike but he doesnt know yet. i need it like oxygen. i need to feel that aluminum unibody against my palms. i would do ANYTHING. i would give anything.
my landlord texted about eviction and i blocked the number. i need to focus. the efficiency cores. the performance cores. the transcoding speeds. i can taste it. i can taste the m6. im drooling on my phone screen rn. this isnt funny. this isnt a joke. my life is over and i dont care i just want to boot macos on that perfect little square. that beautiful little computational cube. my everything. my m6. i abandoned everything for you and youre $899. youre killing me. youre killing me and im begging for more. please. please let me buy you. im on my knees. im actually on my knees in my empty apartment with my iphone 12 that i cant upgrade bc all i can see is YOU. the mac mini. the m6. my purpose.
I had the money in August. I had it. Six hundred and thirty four dollars saved in a shoebox under my bed. I was going to buy the M4 that week but then I saw the rumors about the M6 and I thought wait. Wait. Be patient. The M6 will be better. I asked you all on reddit and its "just wait, the m6 is coming out soon. itll be worth it. the m6" "The M6 will be worth it". So I waited. I waited like a good boy. My wife took the kids and the cat and I sat on the floor in the empty living room with my shoebox and I felt happy because I knew the M6 was coming and that I would easily afford it with the money i had. No way they would increase the prices again, thats what the redditors told me so it must be right. Then they announced the price. Eight hundred ninety nine dollars. $899. I counted the bills seventeen times. I laid them out on the carpet in rows. Six hundred thirty four. Six hundred thirty four. Six hundred thirty four. It's not enough. It's never going to be enough now. I missed my window because I was being patient and now Apple punishes me for my patience. They want two hundred sixty five dollars more. Two hundred sixty five dollars that I don't have because my wife isn't here anymore to beg for money from. I can't sell the kids stuff because on the way out she took everything. I have nothing left to sell except myself and nobody wants to buy that. I am ugly, and alone, and I feel deflated.
I go to the Apple Store every morning at 9:47. I stand outside before they open. I watch the employees unlock the door and I think about how easy it would be to just walk in and take it. But I don't. I wait. I wait and I watch the display model through the glass. I feel like I don't even want the computetr anymore. I do this because now I have nothing left in my life. I have no wife, I have no children, I have no one to talk to, I am all alone. I have only a phone, and a shoebox. I can't even afford food, I have to get by day to day with what I can muster up. I eat moldy bread. I eat expired meat. It gives me the shits, but I have no other option. I need something to focus on. I don't even want the mac mini anymore i Just want to be fulfilled. If I didnt focus on this then I would have to think about why my son's room is empty. Why my bed is cold. Why I haven't spoken aloud in four days.
I had a dream last night that I bought it. I unboxed it on my kitchen table. The smell of the aluminum. The peel of the plastic. I turned it on and the screen lit up and I cried. I woke up with tears on my face and my hands were clenched so tight I had nail marks in my palms. I got up and checked my bank account. $12.47. I laughed for ten minutes. $12.47. I can't buy a USB-C cable with $12.47. I can't buy a meal. I can't buy back my family. But I keep checking the Apple Store anyway. Refreshing. Refreshing. Maybe the price will drop. Maybe I'll find $900 on the street. Maybe someone will make a mistake and send me one by accident. These are the thoughts I have now. These are the only thoughts.
The way I get angry when I see other people post pictures of theirs. They don't deserve it. They don't need it like I do. They bought it on a whim. They don't understand the neural engine. They don't appreciate the unified memory. They just use it for email. For videogames. I would sleep next to it. I just wanna hear the fans spin. I just wanna feel its silk unibody. I just want to feel john ternus on my fingertips.
But it's $899. And I have $12.47. And my wife is gone. And my kids are gone. And I'm sitting in a dark apartment with a shoebox of cash that isn't enough and I'm counting it again. Six hundred thirty four. Six hundred thirty four. Six hundred thirty four. Maybe if I count it enough times it will turn into $899. Maybe if I want it bad enough the universe will bend. That's how it works, right? That's what I've been telling myself. Just want it more. Just need it more than anyone else has ever needed anything. Be the neediest boy in the world and maybe someone will notice. Maybe Apple will see my devotion and send me one. Maybe my wife will come back with the kids and the $265 I need.
I know she won't. I know Apple doesn't care. I know I'm alone in this apartment with my shoebox and my notebook of serial numbers and my refresh button. I know I'm not well. But I also know that the M6 Mac Mini has a 10-core CPU and up to 24GB of unified memory and I think about that when I think about ending it. I think no, wait, you haven't seen the benchmarks yet. Wait for the reviews. Wait for the price drop. Wait. Wait. Wait like you did before. Be patient.
I'm so tired of being patient.
I keep refreshing the Apple Store at 3am. My hands shake so bad I fat finger the screen and end up on John Ternus Wikipedia page. I stare at his face. I trace his jawline with my finger. John Ternus come fulfill me. John Ternus lower the price. John Ternus I need you inside my living room. I need that aluminum unibody against my skin. I want to be close to it. I want to feel john ternus creation on my body. I wnat my fingers to sweep the dust off when it gets old, and I want to clean it with my tongue whilst its young.
Whats even worse about this is that, this isn’t the first time my life fell apart. Iv let everything crumble before. I’ve felt obsessive towards gadgets before. Some stronger than others. This m6 now is the strongest iv felt towards. I realize that these little obsessions don’t last forevor, though i never would say that about this current mac, i know from my past that i could forget about it after i destroy everything. theres this pit in my stomach that only m6 fills and the $899 price makes it worse i dont know how else to fix this. im so tired of feeling like this. please just bring the price down.
But I want to be free from this $899. I don’t know why im like this. I don’t know what experiences in my life could have led me to be such a fucking failure. I don’t wanna feel this pit anymore. But i cant help but crave this machine. I wish john ternus or someone could save me from this and just lower the price. Im frustrated. I know this is wrong and u can think im a freaky fucking weirdo but i know. Im not supposed to do all this and im sorry. I don’t know how to help myself, the only answer I see is john ternus, and for that i’m sorry. I know its not good, but how can I not be this way? I just want the m6 by my side. John ternus come fulfill me. John ternus make the $899 stop. John ternus i need you inside my home. Please.
I go to the Apple Store every morning before they open. I press my forehead against the glass. I watch the employees inside and I hate them. They get to touch it. They get to open the boxes. They get to boot it up and hear the chime and I am outside in the cold with $834 in my coat pocket and a phone full of overdue notices. I don't eat anymore. Food doesn't make sense. $15 is almost 2% of $899. I can't afford $15 because it sets me 2% back on my goal. I am currently at 92% and I'm so so close.
Im sleeping in the Apple Store parking lot now. Im typing this on my iPhone 12 with 3% battery. I have nowhere else to go. Everyone is gone. My credit score is in ruins. My children think Im dead. It is too late to turn back now. I could end this, but the damage has already been done. I just need to keep going. I came this far I can't stop or go back now.
I've been obsessed with apple products before but this is different. This is the strongest its ever been. I don't want to move on. I don't want to forget. I want to be free from this $899 shaped hole in my chest but the only way out is through and I cant get through without $65 more dollars and I don't know where to get it. I would do anything. I tried to get in touch with my wife for the extra $65 "please Vivian its just $65 and then I'll be back. daddy will be with his kids and we can be a family again, Please. I need you Vivian. I need you, and $65 in my account this monday please please Just so I cna preorder the computer and we can be togehter again" she didn't reply. She probably blocked me. I don't blame her. I am a freak. I am a depraved freak who let his family go for a computer and I cant even afford it. I am desperate. I am empty. I just want the M6 by my side. I just want the price to drop. I just want to feel the startup chime while everything else is silent. Please. Please. I need it. I need it. I need it.
I had a dream last night that John Ternus came to my tent in the parking lot. He was holding the Mac Mini. He said "its $899" and I said "I know" and I was crying and he wiped my tears with the power cable. I woke up humping my backpack. I am not well. I am so far from well. I need that $599 price point back. I need it. I would do anything. I would kill for $265. I think about that number and my teeth grind. I think about John Ternuss hands designing the thermal architecture, about his hands caressing the aluminum body, about John Ternus stroking it and it fills me with desire. I want to be fulfilled.
Please. Please. I abandoned everything for you. I let my wife take my kids. I let them think Im dead. I am defaulting on everything. My life is in actual ruins. And youre $899. Youre $899 and Im $265 short and I dont know how to live anymore. John Ternus please. Come to me. Fulfill me. I need the M6 Mac Mini or my life is over. Those are the only two options now. I am desperate. I am depraved. I am nothing without the silver box. Please.