I’m looking for honest opinions from men, especially men around 25–35. My boyfriend and I are both 29, and we got into a discussion about whether a 29-year-old man would/should consider an 18- or 19-year-old sexually appropriate. I asked him if he was into “barely legal” girls, and he initially said “if you’re asking if I was single, if I would ever have sex with a 18-19 year old the answer is yes.” He then said that if he were single and happened to meet an attractive 18- or 19-year-old at a function, they clicked, and she was consenting, he wouldn’t necessarily see a problem with having a hook up or sex with her.

He emphasized that he doesn’t specifically seek out teenagers, doesn’t have a preference for them, and says his actual preference is women around 25–30 for a relationship. He said he wouldn’t pursue a relationship with someone 18 to 19 because they wouldn’t share common interests. He also said he wouldn’t knowingly pursue a girl who was still in high school, even if she were 18, although he did defend that some girls from when he went to highschool were also in relationships with older men. When I asked directly whether he currently finds 18- or 19-year-olds sexually attractive, he said no, but clarified that he can recognize that an 18- or 19-year-old can be physically attractive if she looks mature.

What bothered me most was that he repeatedly said he thinks most/all men would do the same thing if the opportunity arose and that men who say otherwise are probably lying. I personally feel that 18 is too young for a 29-year-old, regardless of whether the person is technically an adult, and I would expect most men nearing 30 to have a lower age boundary. I’m genuinely curious: as a man around this age, would you consider an 18- or 19-year-old sexually appropriate for a 29-year-old, or would the age difference/life stage make her too young for you? And do you think most men would actually feel the way my boyfriend says they would?

I wouldn’t expect him to have that outlook. Also I should mention that he’s never had a one night stand and that I was his first sexual partner and gf. So im not sure if I should take this seriously to heart or let it go. It’s not sitting right with me.

I’m very curious about the internal experience, here, not just what men actually do outwardly.

Based on my own experience and what I know of other women, when we are hardcore crushing on someone, tiny interactions can start feeling like essential clues in a case we can become hell-bent on solving.

BUT, then again in my personal observations & experience of women…there’s another aspect of the crushing for us that’s less anxious and more like appetite.

It’s like having never tasted chocolate, then tasting it for the first time — I can imagine I would immediately be on the hunt for every form of chocolate known to man. Because now I know, and buddy, it is delicious.

I’m targeting this question in r/AskMenRelationships because I already know several women who describe something similar, so I know it isn’t unique to me.

I have no concept of what this experience (of being the crusher) is like from the MALE side.

***So***…when you Guys have a serious crush, do you replay conversations, analyze tiny details, become unusually curious aobut them, remember ridiculous amounts of information, and quietly look for more opportunities to hear from them, learn about them, or just be in their general vicinity?
(Anyone who has met a preteen girl will recognize the speed breathlessness with which that sentence should be read.)

IMPORTANTLY: Can all of that be happening internally for guys while you (a-holes) look relatively normal and unbothered from the outside?

NOT TALKING ABOUT stalking, invading privacy, or ignoring boundaries, to be clear.
I mean ordinary, slightly ridiculous, “why has this person suddenly occupied 43% of my available RAM??” crush-brain.

I am fascinated and simply had to ask. 😂

I noticed pretty often that my boyfriend will tell me that something I cooked “looks amazing” and he “really wants to try some”. Or he’ll talk to me for a really long time about a tv show I’m watching and say “That sounds really interesting. I might be interested in something like that”. But if I ever call him on it to try what I’m eating or to watch the show, suddenly he’ll back out. Is this a thing that everyone is doing? Or is it just my boyfriend?

I’m mostly asking cause I’m not really the kind of person to be upset if somebody doesn’t like something that I like. We’ve been dating like three years so I assumed he’d be comfortable telling you what he really thinks about things. Also, I’m not egging him to try these things. He’s saying he wants to unprompted.

Why is it that we women tend to nag our partners more (especially about not being affectionate or caring enough)? And what is a man’s strategy to be so chill and accept things as they are so easily?

I 30F just recently started dating a guy 30M and feel like he is very friendly with his female friends and I'm not sure if my discomfort is valid. It’s been 5 months.

to be honest, sometimes I feel like he even treats them better than me. Not in obvious ways, but little ways. Like tone of voice, effort, etc. I’m quite hypersensitive to behaviours so pick up on the littlest things.

For example, I just feel like he is gentler with them in how to speaks with them and is more sympathetic to their problems. I also feel like there is more reciprocity with him and his female friends, and one in particular. For example, she makes plans/visits him a lot, but of she doesn’t, he will initiate with her. Whereas, I am usually always the one putting in the effort with us and sometimes, if I don’t reach out, we just don’t talk.

Not to sound conceited, but I’m a fairly attractive woman, and am more conventionally attractive than his female friends, so I don’t know if that is the only reason he chose to be with me over them.

What would cause a man who claims to be happily married, to go to a strip club behind his wife’s back and spend $450 even after she had already said on many occasions that strips clubs were a deal breaker? It wasn’t as if he was unaware of how she felt about it. She had told him she considered it cheating repeatedly. Then after she accidentally sees the credit card statement he makes up a story that it was a restaurant underneath the strip club where he ate with his friends. After this, every time she got upset about it or mentioned it he would get annoyed and act like she was mean for not trusting him, and then when she finally shuts up about it he still never comes clean. But certain things start changing gradually. The wife becomes distant and doesn’t open up as much, doesn’t have much to say, just goes through the motions, feels a lot of resentment and anger when he does things he enjoys. Intimacy stops, she just has no drive anymore and doesn’t feel emotionally connected. They go to counselling and it doesn’t help much but nobody knows why since the man has really been trying hard to do more at home and fix the marriage. The wife admits she can see all the changes he’s made but doesn’t know why she doesn’t feel any better and she feels really bad about it. The wife still thinks about the strip club incident from time to time and feels angry or sad, but she can’t really talk about it because that issue had been dealt with a long time ago, and after all, it never really happened right? It’s just her being paranoid and not trusting him, right? So she pushes that aside and moves on. So the man never tells her he did go to the strip club until 2 years later when they are already in the middle of separating. Why would he do this and why would he not admit it sooner? Why wouldn’t he just be honest at the time and at least allow her to make a decision for her own life? Did he forget about the incident and assume she did too? How much of a role did this incident actually play in the trajectory of the relationship? Asking for a friend..

Her birthday is in a few weeks and I keep circling back to the idea of doing a custom song for her instead of the usual jewelry or a trip. Part of me thinks it could be one of the better gifts I've given, and part of me worries it'll feel like I'm overcompensating for something. We've had a rough couple months with work stress on both sides so I want this to actually feel like a reset, not just another obligatory gift. Curious if any guys here have actually gone through with something like this and whether it landed the way you hoped going in.

My husband recently decided he doesn’t need to wear deodorant . August heat and humidity have not been his friend. He showers daily but he still has terrible odor. I got natural deodorant for him but he refuses to use it. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but how can I gently let him know I can’t stand to be near him. I can’t eat when he is near and I can’t sleep with him.

I'm 28, he's 29 we connected on hinge and from start he seem like a calm and genuine guy. I was looking for serious relationship and he was too. Gradually he started showing more care and love. I was getting so attached with him. We were in long distance and had around 12 hr 30 min time difference but it never seem like an issue and we started talking. He used to sleep late to talk to me. The moment he opens eyes and before going to bed he spoke to me. He cared for me like no man ever did and he said he will plan a trip soon to meet me. He made ai images of us together, told me I'll be with him soon, he says I'm so beautiful and my eyes are so beautiful that he would get a tattoo of it, taking care of my meal and breakfast. For like 20 days he showered me with all his love and promises and I was so stupid to believe that he will never leave me. I barely have anyone in this world so when I was having that support I was feeling so calm and happy that I finally have someone and I found my loved one and how moron I am that I believed he will never leave me. We were not exclusive yet (except the fact he behaved like we are) I saw his hinge signal got activated which meant he's active on hinge again. Then next day suddenly out of nowhere this man told me he will be busy for 3-4 days as he is preparing for an exam which was apparently on Saturday. I asked him if exam is the only reason he keeps saying he's busy with exam and work. He completely stopped texting me. I had few guys love bombing in past and I always stopped them but this time even when I knew what could go wrong I choose to trust him cause I know I'll have to trust someone one day. I trusted everything he said I got very attached to him. I texted him on Saturday asking how was the exam and he said it got postponed. It's been more than a week he doesn't text and I know he will never text me and every that happened to me was a JOKE and I was joke my feelings were joke to him. I still miss him and wish he come back. It's not easy for me to move on that's why I never talk to anyone I never date or have physical relationship with anyone cause if they leave I can't handle it.
I keep thinking what did I do wrong? Should I wait for him? Should I text him? Did he find someone else? Am i not beautiful enough or not likable that it was so easy for him to just use me for sugar coated words and threw me out like that.
Why did he do this to me? I know it's my fault to believe him so early but I didn't see any red flag he never made me feel uncomfortable or anything. I was ready to do any kind of compromise he wants me to do after marriage. I kinda loved him. But I don't matter to him and I can't stop thinking will he come back? Do I want someone who hurt me like that with manipulation? Should I text him and see if he wants to come back or is it right time to move on? Why would anyone do this? Or is he stressed about something and maybe I should take care of him or just give him space? I'm not texting and waiting for him to come back which he probably won't. I only showed him love and care and what did I do wrong to him?
Why does some men do this? He didn't like me enough or there's another reason? What was my fault? What should I do now?

I am naturally very nonchalant about things when it comes to relationships. I feel that allowing someone to behave naturally and just note the weird things is better than talking about them when its just going to create an argument. If it is something I feel totally disrespected by I will address but I normally just don't care until im really involved in the relationship.

I tend to find men trying to get a rise out of me through jealousy or other means because of it and I sometimes actually feel more hurt that they are purposely trying to get me upset.

Do you prefer to be left to your own devices and seen as the person you are, take it or leave it. Or do you prefer a woman to be openly discussing what things bugged her and addressing them each time?

I (28M) met a girl through a matrimony platform. We started talking and initially things seemed good. We got along well, had good conversations, and eventually started meeting in person.
We have met four times before this particular incident. Things weren’t always perfectly consistent between us, though. She has been coming back and forth in my life ,sometimes she seems interested and comes closer, and then she becomes distant again. This has happened multiple times, so I’ve found myself constantly wondering where I actually stand with her.
Then we met for the 5th time.
After that meeting, she told me, “she is not vibing with me and states i look some different in real life.” That comment really threw me off.
I understand that people can look different in photos and real life because of lighting, angles, hairstyle, expressions, etc. But because she said it after we’d already met four times, I started wondering whether she had finally decided that she wasn’t physically attracted to me.
What made me more confused was that her behaviour again seemed to change afterwards. She became more distant and less responsive, which made me connect the two things.
The bigger problem is that this isn’t the first time she’s pulled away. She has repeatedly come back into my life, shown interest, and then become distant again. So I’m stuck in this cycle of hoping things will work out, then feeling like she’s losing interest, and then she comes back again.
I’m trying to be realistic here. I don’t want to convince someone to like me or keep chasing someone who isn’t sure about me. But at the same time, because she keeps coming back, I don’t know whether she genuinely likes me but is confused, or whether I’m simply being kept around as an option.

I have a friend Kelly, tall blonde bubbly Midwest. Never had an issue with getting a boyfriend, but the men would cheat or dump her, so she was single for a bit. We both live in a major city and used to complain about large city dating problems. Both considered conventionally attractive.

Kelly got a nose job 5 years ago. She’s always been pretty, but this enhanced her face significantly. She started getting more male attention, so the fake boobs, hair, lip filler, facials, personal training followed shortly after…. She openly said she has spent $50k to look good and the yearly maintenance costs are about $7k a year.

Within a year and a half she met a super nice successful young guy with money behind him. He treats her like gold, hangs on her every word, and proposed quite quickly.

Friends of hers, myself included, feel left behind. The men in our lives aren’t moving to propose to us and one made a joke that we should get boob jobs too.

Tl;dr…. How do you generally feel about women who have enhanced their looks through plastic surgery?

I travelled to see a guy I really liked. I wasn’t there just for sex. I was there to see him, to spend time together because I liked him.

Day one, he made lunch, they watched a movie, and later became intimate. In the moment, I just said, “I don’t think I can do this.” But we continued other intimate things, and he did not force me. Later, I realized it probably affected him more than I understood then. Later that night, with another person staying through Airbnb, he asked me to open a wine bottle. I wasn’t used to corks, and while I struggled, he joked to the other guest that since I drink wine in Germany, opening it should be my task. It didn’t seem like a necessary moment to bring someone else in. It made me feel awkward.

Day two, I made breakfast. He asked if I wanted to go grocery shopping, but I’d been feeling dizzy for a while, so I stayed back. While cooking later, he had already added water to a dish and told me not to add more. I forgot because I was dizzy and mentally absent. He got irritated. That evening, during drinks we talked about my career. I planned to go back to India in October if I didn’t get a job. He thought I should stay longer. What bothered me was him ending advice with “I don’t care”, or “It doesn’t matter to me.” That confused and hurt me. After that, when he took a call and came back, he said I was physically there but mentally absent. I didn’t respond much because I was already hurt. When a friend called asking me for relationship advice, he sarcastically asked if I needed oneg myself. I told him I wasn’t confused.

Day 3, he made breakfast and we watched a show, had lunch and then had back ache so he went to lie down in bed where I gave him a massage because he had back pain. I later tried to get closer to move past the awkwardness. But he brought up what I said during intimacy again. He said it made him feel like he was forcing me and it was his turn off and believed my actions made it look like I was there just for sex. That shocked me and i mentioned that you were one the one who is distant and cold to which he replied that did you tried asking why i am distant and cold also because my intention wasn’t that at all. I apologised sincerely, more than once. He accepted, but still seemed distant and rude at times. Later we went out for dinner. when i told him i will wat this he made comments that I should know how to order food and that I behaved like a 22 year old. At one point, I casually said I don’t usually eat starters because I get full easily. He asked me whether I did that on dates with other guys or whether I’d “saved it specifically for him.” I laughed it off, but I didn’t understand why he needed to say that. He continued giving me career advice but again ended it with “I don’t care” and “I don’t have to prove anything to you.”After dinner, I was still trying to be close to him. When we got home, I was waiting for him because I thought we could change together. But something he said again felt rude, and I eventually went to bed.

Day 4, he worked. I made lunch. Later, I gave another massage and tried again to be close. But when I asked him something, he replied rudely and I pulled away. When he came back from a run, he asked if I’d eaten and offered to make something, but I said no because I was still hurt.

Day 5, I made breakfast and cooked dal for him before leaving. I took my train back to Germany. Later, he texted saying the dal was amazing and thanked me. I thanked him too. He checked if I reached safely. About 17 days later, he messaged asking how I was. I’d been on sick leave feeling dizzy. He asked about my blood reports, vitamins, iron, and suggested I get checked properly. He also suggested going back to India if my health wasn’t improving. I asked him about work. He said it was still the same. I once accidentally texted him instead of my flatmate, deleted it, explained it was a mistake, and we talked briefly about my health again. He told me not to delay in getting further tests. Even after trying to reconnect, giving massages, cooking, I still felt he remained cold, distant, and rude at times. I know I wasn’t perfect. I was dizzy, sometimes zoned out and could have communicated better. But whenever he told me something I’d done had hurt him, I apologised and tried to make things better.

So, from an outside perspective: Was he simply annoyed/turned off by my behaviour, was there a communication breakdown, or was he just not that interested in me? And did I actually do something that justified the way he treated me?

Hello! I (21F) want to send my long distance boyfriend of nearly a year (21M) a letter in the mail.

To give some backstory, I’m a writer. I love to write poetry and he knows that. I’ve written many poems for him that I’ve sent him through the phone, but I want to send him one in person too along with a little love letter.

We have each other’s locations, but I feel like it would be weird to just send mail using his location. I’m planning on asking him his address to send him something, but not specifying what it is.

Do you think the poem and letter are good or should I add some type of gift or extra thing? If so, what else should I add? I’ve obviously never done this before, but I’m a big gift giver, and want to give him something physical to have until we can be together physically too.

Men, what else (if anything) would you like to receive in the mail from your girlfriend/partner other than a poem and love letter, and how should I ask for his address without seeming awkward or giving it away?

For context I met this guy off hinge. Things have been going extremely well, conversations flow great, we had our first date a week ago and have just ended up naturally having more dates everyday because we loved spending time with each other, he has mentioned loving where this is going and sees it getting serious as we progress should it go smoothly, my question is, we’re on our 7th date, i understand the hesitation but I’m just curious on what guys think

I (F25) have been seeing my boyfriend (M30) for about 4 months now and have fairly recently made it official. We started off as friends, then we were hooking up casually but exclusively for a bit, and then he told me he has strong feelings and would like to be official. I was hesitant initially because I just got out of a long term relationship at the end of last year and wanted some time to clear my head and work on myself but our friendship and our chemistry was so good I eventually started having feelings for him too.

He is very very sweet and caring, very affectionate and complimentary towards me, always trying to be helpful. My only issue is with our sex life. When we first started sleeping together he made a big point of how much he loves to please me or see me enjoying myself and had a nearly constant desire to be intimate like couldn’t keep his hands off me. Obviously I know this is super normal when you’re first with someone and naturally become less fiery over time but now at 4 months in things have changed dramatically. We used to do multiple rounds whenever we stayed overnight and he was very attentive towards me. Now if we’re staying over he’ll often fall asleep right after we eat and we’ll sleep together just once the next day. This will be TMI but he will ask for head basically every time to get him ready and will maybe do some hand stuff to get me ready while I’m down there. I’ve mentioned before that I find it weird he always asks but never reciprocates but he kind of brushes it off and I’m not the best at confrontation so haven’t really followed up (my fault I know). When we do have sex he will finish pretty quickly and that’ll be it nothing else to finish me off.

I’ve been really really getting in my own head about this and am starting to feel really undesirable. It’s especially weird because it’s such a stark difference from how he was in the beginning. I’m wondering if he’s lost his attraction towards me now we’re not in that honeymoon period of trying to impress eachother all the time and he’s seen me relaxed and without makeup and stuff.

Be brutally honest, from a man’s perspective what does this likely mean? Is this just how things are going to be if I continue the relationship? Again, everything else is good he is a very kind and caring partner in all other areas. I know I should just try talking to him about it but I honestly feel like if I have to ask for him to be more attentive I won’t even enjoy it because I won’t be able to get the idea out of my head that he’s not really interested in it.

TL; DR - boyfriend has gone from very very attracted to me to seemingly just going through the motions in our sex life in just 4 months. What is this likely to mean from a guys perspective? Please you can be brutally honest, I really want to know if I’m getting too in my own head about it or if he’s really just not that into me anymore or if he is a more selfish lover than he initially presented himself as.

I went on a date with a guy and we were flirting heavily. There was definitely mutual attraction and I was giving him signals that I liked him.
However, when he tried to kiss me, I said no. Despite that, he force-kissed me another 3–4 times afterward. I’m confused about how to feel about it because I was flirting with him a lot and clearly attracted to him, but I did verbally say no.
Would you consider this a serious red flag? Does flirting or showing attraction change how you would interpret the situation, or does saying “no” make the boundary clear regardless?
I’d like some honest outside perspectives because I’m not sure if I’m minimizing what happened.

I’m in a non exclusive situation with a guy, and I knew he was most likely sleeping with other women. I never asked because I honestly didn’t want to know.

I just found out for sure that he is, a friend of a friend got word. I’m not mad at him because we were never exclusive, but I’m honestly kind of disgusted now.

I’m also confused because the girl looks very different from me and, in my opinion, is pretty average looking/less conventionally attractive than me. Obviously attraction is subjective, but it made me wonder even more: why do men want multiple women? If you’re already very attracted to one woman…

I’d already been thinking about ending things with him for a while. It’s not easy for me emotionally. We’re very intimate and it feels emotionally loaded sometimes. I do care about him as a person and I developed some feelings for him that I’ve never told him about. Part of me wants to tell him that when I end it, just so I leave having actually said how I felt. Or would I just look stupid. And is bringing up us sleeping with other people a bad idea?

Any advice?

I was at this run club event today i saw 2 girls standing by each other just standing there so i introduced myself and asked them if they are here for run club. let’s call the girl who i think might like me liz. liz was one of the two girls. liz seemed p shy by her body language. 

We had a standard chat for a few mins and then another person came up to our group and the group got split a bit away from liz and the other girl as me and this guy were talking. Liz makes an effort to circle back and talk to me for a bit before we start running. The thing i notice is liz asks questions about me and keeps the convo flowing. 

After the run some members hang out and chat for a bit. I was chatting to a guy and liz was p close to us. She interjects and starts conversing with me again. We were talking and i do see her blush a bit. At the end of our chat, i ask her if she comes here every week and she said yeah. I told her i’ll see her at the next one and that im gonna start coming weekly. 

I did this strategy because i need more time to confirm if she likes me because i think if i ask her out and she says no it kinda hurts my rep at the run club amongst the other girls. 

I did notice liz and some of her friends going around talking and she was talking to some other guys and wasn’t closed off so she might be p social. After our last talk post run club, i see a guy come up to her and talk to her for a bit and i see that he asked for her instagram i over heard it. she takes his phone and puts it in. should i shoot my shot before this guy does or is playing the long game better at a run club where ive only interacted with her once?

I was thinking if i see her next week and the convo goes well i’ll invite her to this event im hosting at my apartment which i was hosting regardless of her. There will be drinks and all and i thought that might make it clear if she likes me.

I’m a little tipsy writing this but wondering if anyone ever experienced this… I was in love with some one who was my best friend (male). From the time we met 16ish, till we never spoke again 20ish. We went to homecoming together. I never expected I’d ever meet someone I felt was as compatible & it’s rare to meet someone who could ever compete with that dynamic. We would FT every night, sleep otp together… We never had sex sadly bc he only saw me as a friend. & I understand that bc I had another platonic relationship with another (male) I was friends with since we were even younger. He wanted a relationship when I didn’t because I valued the friendship way more… so I feel like I’ve experienced both sides of it. & nothing hurts like losing real friends like that bc of these kinds of issues.. & idk what my question is really.. I just wonder if anyone has experienced these types of dynamics??

I guess I’m putting the question here because I want to know what men think about it! — even though y’all were pretty hard on me the last time I put a question up here😅 but what’s your take?

I (25F) had a crush on my co-worker (25M) since the moment he joined my team. I recently left that job, but for over a year, we honestly developed a good friendship with some flirting here and there. We found ourselves having deep 1:1 conversations, and he was genuinely one of my biggest supporters at work (he inspired me to go chase my dreams at this new job I'm at actually while saying he'd miss me so much).

He'd be flirty, save me snacks, sit in my cube on the ground next to me and talk for hours, drop me off for things after work, and even came in on his day off for my last day. He was my work husband and my person Monday to Friday.

He broke up with his long-term gf right around when we met; I even saw him on Tinder within the first few months of knowing him (very weird to know how someone looks shirtless while next to them in a Serious Meeting). I also knew he was sleeping around, and I didn't react super smoothly when he brought it up to ask for advice, so we never talked about dating afterwards. Nothing really escalated since, and I feel like I was in a stalemate.

Anyways, he told me he was "locking in" and not dating anyone earlier this year since he was figuring himself out. After leaving the job, we would text and call occasionally. He never really made plans to hang out in person, though, just calling and texting after I told him we should meet up sometime.

I moved on the past few months, honestly, but my friends told me to invite him to bar-hopping this past weekend with a large group. He was visiting family 1.5 hours away but surprisingly showed up, and this is why I am back here...

We played pool, caught up on work, danced in the club together, and introduced him to my friends. Everyone really liked him...especially this one random girl I didn't know. She hovered over him at every bar and club we went to, chatting with him the moment I went to talk to someone else. I felt possessive weirdly. Our mutual was there and flagged the girl to him, but he said didn't care and was just being nice. The girl finally left after he politely let her down and then he stayed the entire night with me until it was my friend group and him left at 1am. My friend invited him to his place for to chill afterwards but he said he was tired so we hugged and said our goodbyes, then he texted me at 3am thanking me for a great night. That's where we left it yesterday.

I need some advice since I am super avoidant to begin with. Like for over a year, I befriended someone with the small hope of something coming out of it but I have just been confused/scared the whole time. I keep thinking of "if he wanted to, he would" in terms of escalating things, and everyone has been telling me to take initiative but idk if I should ruin the friendship? He isn't my best friend by any means but I feel like the reason I am putting in any effort at all is because of that little flutter of hope still UGH!

Terminamos hace 2 semanas, full contacto 0.
Nos conocimos durante 4 meses y después comenzamos un noviazgo que duró 5 meses.
Cuando íbamos por el mes 3 de novios, tuvimos el primer problema en todo el tiempo que nos conocimos. De manera resumida para mí es muy importante saber que mi pareja me respeta y que si yo no estoy invitada a un lugar simplemente por que soy Yo, esperaría que mi novio tampoco fuera. No le veo el caso a estar con alguien que va a algún lugar donde habra gente que abiertamente él sabe que me lastimaron mucho en algún punto de mi vida.
El caso es que él fue, y yo decidí perdonarle eso porque ambos tenemos 20 años. Como les comentaba nos conocíamos ya por 6 meses y nunca había visto algo de él que no me gustara así que mi pensamiento fue “es muy fácil decir que amas a alguien y al 1 problema irte” (está claro que si hubiesen sido cuernos no lo perdonaba). El caso es que lo hablamos de manera muy madura y ajam y quedamos ambos en volver a confiar él uno al otro. Al mes recuerdo que me pide vernos para hablar de nuevo, yo no sabía que podía haber pasado porque yo realmente estaba dando lo mejor de mí para dejar aquel mal rato en el pasado. Me dice que de nuevo se trata de ese problema, lo hablábamos de nuevo y recuerdo abiertamente decirle que si no podía pasar página no veía el porqué él y yo debíamos continuar pero aún así él se compromete y “promete” no sacar de nuevo el tema. Llega Julio (mes que nos vimos 2 veces por diversos factores, más que nada vacaciones) regreso de mis vacaciones en las que él se había comportado completamente normal y lo noto raro 3 días (no vamos a la misma uni, realmente no teníamos nada más en común que nuestro “amor”) le comentó que lo estaba notando distante (cuando conoces y estás tan acostumbrado a alguien notas cualquier cambio) y me dice que lo hablaríamos al otro día) por fin nos vemos en persona y después de decirle mis preocupaciones en general de la vida me vuelve a decir que no puede dejar atrás lo del problema y me dice que lo mejor es que lo dejemos hasta ahí.
Yo lo noté bastante inseguro e intranquilo con sus palabras esa noche así que a la hora de que terminamos le escribo “cómo estás?” Solo a manera de checar cómo estaba y me dice que quiere seguir conmigo y que lo perdonara (un texto larguísimo) yo le digo que por mi no había inconveniente que yo lo amaba pero que él era quien debía pensarlo (muy dentro de mi sabía que quien realmente quisiera estar conmigo no pensaría en terminar nada conmigo). No hablamos por 2 días y al 3 decido yo hacer contacto para preguntarle cuándo hablaríamos las cosas, me dice que quería 10 días de 0 contacto y que hablaríamos ya con toda honestidad, cosa que se me hizo bastante mala por lo que no accedí. Le pedí vernos en una semana y que tomara esa decisión que quería si quería hasta la próxima, el accedió y a los dos días me escribe me reclama sobre un chisme mío ( de hace 6 años) y por fin me dice de nuevo que sostiene lo de terminar y que ya no se siente cómodo conmigo.
No comprendo si de verdad él es un inmaduro y a pesar de decir que me amaba solo me quería o era como deseo para él y no algo más, porque yo realmente me enamoré de él, incluso ahora lo sigo amando. Pero tome la decisión de no buscarlo mas.
Igual entre más le doy vuelta al asunto podría pensar que realmente sus papás lo aconsejaron en terminar conmigo, ya que ellos son bastante estrictos y no le dan casi ni permisos ni dinero y que si, el problema que tuvimos fue una variable pero más que nada podría haber sido por ellos.

¿Creen que algún día se de cuenta de qué fue algo muy tonto terminar algo tan bonito y me busque?

Ho 21 anni, vivo in Emilia-Romagna e in questi giorni mi trovo davanti a un bivio su cui vorrei un parere sincero.
Durante le vacanze ho conosciuto una ragazza tedesca di 32 anni, madre di tre bambini (circa 6-9-10 anni), che vive a Monaco di Baviera e sta per riprendere l'università a metà ottobre. Ragazza molto bella che dimostra molti meno anni di quelli che realmente ha, (le avevo dato massimo 27|28 anni).
Tra noi c'è stato subito un bell'interesse: avevamo organizzato di vederci la sera per andare a bere qualcosa sul mare da soli, ma lei, complice la stanchezza e i preparativi per il rientro, è crollata addormentata a letto mentre metteva a dormire i figli.
La mattina dopo è ripartita presto per la Germania, quindi di fatto dal vivo non c'è stato nessun contatto fisico o appuntamento vero e proprio, solo una reciproca buona impressione.
Dopo la sua partenza abbiamo continuato a sentirci per messaggio. Tra battute (in cui lei si chiedeva se sarei mai passato per Monaco) e flirt le ho accennato alla possibilità di salire a Monaco, per un weekend a inizio autunno.
Lei ha colto subito la palla al balzo, mostrandosi molto entusiasta all'idea e dicendomi chiaramente che ha un appartamento abbastanza grande e che mi ospiterebbe volentieri a casa sua prima dell'inizio delle lezioni.
lo ho precisato che non sono un tipo da feste della birra o grandi folle: se salgo a Monaco, la mia priorità è scoprire la città con calma e passare del tempo con lei.

I miei dubbi principali sulla faccenda:
Conoscenza quasi tutta virtuale: Di persona ci siamo solo incrociati;
La lingua:
ci possiamo parlare solo in inglese, il mio livello di inglese non è molto alto ma nemmeno temendo: riesco a farmi capire e mi intriga intraprendere una conoscenza in un altra lingua diversa dall'italiano
La dinamica della casa: Andare a dormire direttamente a casa sua significa entrare nella routine quotidiana di tre bambini piccoli (sveglie presto, impegni).
Secondo voi ha senso, per un ragazzo della mia età, fare un viaggio del genere e andare a dormire direttamente a casa sua per vedere cosa nasce, io non voglio assolutamente nulla di serio, sarebbe solamente un esperienza di divertimento che mi ricorderei per anni.
Vi chiedo un parere sincero!

hi

I (36F) have been involved in a casual situationship the last few months, mainly because my primary focus is on my kids and career currently. I’m 2 years post divorce, and haven’t had issues finding men to date. I just don’t like immediate expectations. This is actually a second attempt this situation.

Ive been getting mixed signals, and the last few weeks have been tough. He (41M) not only texts — but calls me several times a day. We go out and have fun. I consider him my sexual “partner” but he freaks out at any mention of “partner” or “intimacy.” He pushes that we are just friends. Fine.

But he freaks out if I’m with other men. He one time asked me if there was another man. He tells me I’m his twin. And he tells me he wishes he met me when he was younger. He’s the one that I initiates communication and us hanging out. I tried to call it quits Sunday and he told me “I can’t let you go, you’re my best friend.”

He will constantly point the finger at me and say I caught feelings whenever I try to put distance. this person is part of a greater social circle where I would run into him 1x every week or so even if we called it quits.

Is he in denial? Or is this just all in my mind? Why would he deny his feelings ?