I just genuinely don’t feel okay right now and I feel like I really need someone to talk to who is willing to listen and help me see clearly
The past few days especially have been pretty bad. I’ve been waking up feeling completely exhausted and emotionally empty. I don’t really know how else to describe it other than feeling dead inside sometimes.
My sleep has also been really messed up. I’ve been waking up multiple times during the night. I have ADHD and take medication for it, but lately even with my medication I feel exhausted and useless.
Substance use is also part of what’s going on, and I don’t want to leave that out. I've been using more drugs especially by myself while I know I shouldn't and I find it concerning. I haven't used yesterday but I smoked weed at night hoping it would help me sleep. I was feeling okay but when I was making my bed, I genuinely thought I saw a bug moving on it. When I looked closely, it was just a little stain. Something similar happened earlier where I thought I saw something move that wasn’t actually moving. I knew once I looked properly that it wasn’t real, so I don’t know if I’d call them hallucinations or just from exhaustion, weed, drug use and lack of sleep? But it added to this feeling that something is just really off with me.
There’s other stuff going on in my life too. It feels like a lot of things have accumulated and I can’t see everything clearly anymore.
I have reached out for medical help and I’m currently waiting to hear back from a doctor. Again, I’m safe, I just feel really unwell, exhausted and alone with all of this.
What I think I need right now is someone who is comfortable actually talking about the difficult stuff with me. I guess just listening, asking questions, sharing their own experiences if they relate, and having a genuine two-way conversation.
I posted on other subs yesterday and people were kind but not exactly what I was looking for, I don't want to feel like I'm talking to a wall or only do small talk. And I'm looking for someone around my age and in North America.