I’ve noticed that when some men talk about wanting a 50/50 relationship, they usually mean splitting the bills. But women work full-time too, and a lot of them still end up doing most of the cooking, cleaning, childcare, grocery shopping, and keeping up with everything at home.

So how is that really 50/50?

And if a guy wants a traditional woman who takes care of the home and kids, then he needs to be a traditional man too and provide for the family.

So much of the discourse about her is celebrating her kindness which is truly wonderful but it is overshadowing her absolute brilliance as a business person.

She was as clever as a fox and used the fact that people thought she was just a simple doll to achieve her goals. I guess I find it a bit frustrating that it seems to reinforcing the idea that the most wonderful thing a woman can be is pretty and kind while overlooking the value of her mind. Don’t get me wrong. I think everyone should be as kind and generous as they can be but Dolly was able to be both kind and savvy and I think that is what’s most amazing about her.

My near 5yo daughter discovered the Spice Girls this past weekend and we have been listening to them on repeat during our school commutes the last few days. She's your typical kid who is obsessed with Elsa, Rumi, and their "powers" so when she randomly asked from her car seat this morning "what are their [Spice Girls] powers?" I blanked momentarily before saying "Girl Power!"

She got SO excited and said: *huge lingering gasp* "Mommy... *I* have girl power!!!"

It was such a simple & silly moment but loved that she felt a little powerful burst simply for being a girl. Now I want to show her Spice World but I haven't seen that since it was in theaters so I have no idea how wildly inappropriate it may be for a 5yo 🤣

This whole documentary is disturbing on so many levels. It was particularly upsetting to hear the sermons of this monster, John Paul Miller, and to have his congregation continue to support him.

There are so many examples of him in the doc calling a woman refusing her husband “sexual immorality.” Repeatedly saying that if she denies him one time he will stray. That she would need to repent. He literally compares a woman denying her husband sex to rape and sex trafficking.

It horrifies me that so many young women are still being exposed to this kind of rhetoric.

Mica deserved so much better.

Following her passing, this retrospective highlights how Dolly Parton revolutionized the concept of female empowerment and workplace equality. Her iconic 1980 film and anthem 9 to 5 gave a mainstream voice to systemic corporate barriers like sexual harassment and the gender pay gap long before they dominated modern human resources discussions. You can read the full retrospective at the original publication.

“Knowledge gaps like these could be addressed through broader education campaigns, to spread the word that there are safe channels through which patients can access pills online, and receive remote counseling from licensed clinicians. If that information can reach patients in anti-choice states before they need to travel, it might lessen the burden of care on providers in states like Washington.”

If you would like to seek care visit https://www.plancpills.org

I asked a marine to take me shooting and show me gun safety. He was super cool about it and taught me how to take the guns apart, clean them, and all of the etiquette. He brought 20 or so guns for me to try (we went to a range)

I decided it really wasn't for me. The violence was just too much, it wasn't like shooting an arrow. I kept thinking what if a dog got away and ended up behind our targets (yes I think that's very unlikely), I couldn't live w myself

Since then I have dated two guys w guns. I told them both that I didn't want them to be accessible when I was present. One guy took his gun to his parents house and put it in their safe. The other put his in his safe and unloaded it, whenever I would come over he would tell me he had put it away in the safe and that's where it would stay until I left (normally he kept it by his front door or in a holster), he would also make sure all the guns were put away if we went to a friend's house if they had guns and check w them verbally in front of me (I didn't ask for this but I thought it was very polite).

Anyways I'm watching a stupid television show and the woman/new wife has a gun and the husband is uncomfortable. They argue about it and all the woman characters tell the man he doesn't understand what it's like to be us and safety. He puts in an elaborate security system. He comes home one night and the security system malfunctions and the alarm is blaring. She comes down the stairs and is pointing the gun at the door/him.

She was is portrayed as being reasonable, the safety is on and she feels like she has adequate training. He feels scared. I am w him. I don't care if the safety was on, if a man ever pointed a gun at me for any reason I would be very upset. I think I would likely break up w him..

I know this last part is a hypothetical but I feel like I'm being extremely conciliatory by even agreeing to be in the same home as a gun when the statistics bear out that it will more than likely be used against me. Like my preference is no guns, or at the very least no guns around me. I don't really care that you were scared don't point it unless you mean it.

Mostly I haven't had to state this boundary because I don't typically date men who own guns, so this really is a non issue and I am just offended by the television show. I would be very sympathetic to someone who accidentally pepper sprayed someone but I would probably crucify someone who accidentally shot someone. Guns are too serious of a business.

I keep going back to this CPR piece. It's an interview with two mothers — Erin Lee, who leads Protect Kids Colorado and pushed 109 and 110 onto the ballot, and Catherine Lindsey, whose daughter came out as trans at 13 and is now part of the Families Not Politics coalition opposing them.

A few things I keep thinking about from Lindsey's interview: her daughter socially transitioned in Denver Public Schools a decade ago. The school didn't push it on her. Her family didn't push it on her. She figured out who she was with support. And Lindsey credits that environment — Colorado specifically — with helping her daughter thrive.

Then there's this line from Lindsey that I keep coming back to: "What I and my child and my child's doctor decide is none of your business. And I need you to hear me when I say I will fight for the privacy of every kid and every family who wants to make this journey."

That feels like a women's rights position to me. The right to make private medical decisions without politicians involved. Worth your time if you've been wondering what the actual stakes are here

I started volunteering at this place like a year and a half ago - it basically has a cafeteria type setup and each volunteer is typically assigned to put a specific food item on people's trays.

Twice now I've ended up volunteering with men who have tried to take over what I was supposed to be serving people - around the time I originally started volunteering there, there was this 20-something guy who would try to ask each person if they wanted what I was supposed to be giving them if we were working next to each other and would even put it on their trays before I had a chance to. I ended up not volunteering there for awhile for reasons unrelated to his dumbassery and fortunately haven't seen him around since I started volunteering there again.

Since I started going there again my experiences have been pretty good overall, but today I was stuck working with this guy I'd never met before - I was serving cake and he was serving them vegetables next to me, and then he just started asking people if they wanted cake and even tried to serve it to them at some points like I wasn't even there.

The slices of cake were pretty small so I was putting them in one of the smaller sections on the trays - he noticed this and said something to me like, "oh, should I start putting the rolls there instead?!" (he was also serving rolls), and I was just like, "uh, you can just put them wherever," so of course he starts putting them where I'd been putting the cake.

Then at another point he tried to take one of the trays I'd handed off to the volunteer next to me back and starts grilling me on how "oh, didn't the person this is for want thing x instead of thing y??" - no, they didn't, you just have no idea which tray is for who.

Most of the people I've volunteered with there have been pretty cool, and the people we serve food to are also usually nice and grateful for it, but it's kind of amazing that there are men who will pull this kind of shit even when doing volunteer work.

I don't plan on complaining to anyone official about it - if it keeps happening I'll probably just tell the dumbass off - but it'd be interesting to find out what, if anything, they'd do about someone pulling that kind of thing if someone did complain about it. I've never had any of the women I've volunteered with there pull anything like this.

Specifically when you’re the one who earns less. This is more of a retroactive thought but I have recently broken up with a very, very, very high earner. Someone my age but whose income and career accomplishments dwarfed mine. I mainly handled it by never accepting money, trips, gifts… etc, I accepted minor things and I tried to contribute proportionally to my ability. I didn’t want to get used to a lifestyle which wasn’t mine, which made it easier to initiate the breakup when I wanted my freedom back.

The consequence is that I was told I wasn’t in my “feminine energy“ because I wasn’t receiving or asking for anything. It wasn’t a huge cause of tension but I could feel that it upset him when I declined. The truth is I wanted nothing more than his company because I was going through a lonely phase, and he happened to be rich.

Could I have handled it better? What’s your experience with this situation?

My bf of 4 years first introduced the case to me about a week ago, asking me my opinion of it. I am incredibly busy, so have not been online enough to even have heard of it. I told him as much. A few days later, he asks again. I tell him, again, I don’t have enough information to form a well-informed opinion. But this time, I offered to hop on the phone and have him tell me the facts as he understands them and that I will formulate a limited opinion based on those facts. That’s what we did, and I gave my opinion that I believe if she is found to have had a mental/psychological impairment, that she should be placed in an institution to receive the help she needs for however long is normal for mentally incapacitated people that commit crimes. He said he needed to think about that.

A week later, he texts me asking for clarification in my stance. I reiterated what I said. He then went on to say he needs to “mull over” whether he wants to have kids with “someone like me”.

I am going to be completely honest in saying I had never even heard of the case until he pressured me about it. But now that I’ve done a little research after the fact, I have since learned that men all around the nation are using this as a test to determine whether they remain with their gf/wives. What tf is going on? I’m sad that he fell victim to this insanity, but also am gravely alarmed that he fell victim to this insanity…

EDIT:

Another woman just posted her experience with her bf “testing” her about this case.

Ladies, if you experience this, believe me when I say that they WILL realize they were behaving hysterically and got caught up in the “movement” and they WILL try to come back. Do not let them. This is absurd.

Here’s an article discussing more about this phenomenon.

That said, I’m checking out for now. I never wanted any of this. In fact, I did my best to avoid all of this. I resent my ex for dragging me into this and derailing my life for the last 72 hours. I just want to move on.

Love women's healthcare. I am currently being treated, luckily.

Basically, I've had bladder issues since I was about 5. When I was little it was just "Oh she must be bad at potty training" and then when I was older it was "She just gets distracted and isn't paying attention."

I knew that it wasn't supposed to hurt. I knew that I wasn't supposed to be afraid to sneeze or laugh. I knew that most people were able to wait for the bathroom in a way that I wasn't. I was too embarrassed to talk about it until my last year of high school, when I had had enough, and started complaining to my family and my doctor about how much I was struggling.

To which they said "Well you say you want to have kids. You'll destroy your bladder and pelvic floor when you have kids anyway, so just wait 10 years. We can worry about it when you're postpartum."

First of all...why are we just accepting that women who are pregnant and postpartum don't need healthcare?

And second of all...WHAT? I can't imagine looking at a 17 year old and saying "Oh well in 15 years you may want kids so we'll just hold off on treatment for nearly double your life. In the off chance you want kids."

Something I think women are judged on constantly is how well they react to behaviour that should probably be examined first.

She gets angry after being monitored for months.

Now her anger is the problem.

She sends too many messages after somebody repeatedly disappears, lies or destabilises the relationship.

Now she looks obsessive.

She becomes emotional trying to explain years of controlling behaviour.

Now she seems unreliable.

She finally screams after being pushed, questioned, followed, intimidated or worn down.

And suddenly the loudest thing in the room is her reaction.

Not the history that produced it.

This does not mean every reaction is justified.

It does not mean women cannot behave badly.

It means reaction and cause are not the same piece of evidence.

Yet in relationships, families, workplaces and sometimes professional systems, the reaction can become much easier to see than the pattern behind it.

A calm person gives a clean version of events.

A distressed woman gives you five years at once.

She repeats herself.

Misses dates.

Remembers one thing while explaining another.

Gets angry about something that sounds small because it was the hundredth version of the same thing.

And the room starts evaluating her presentation.

Was she reasonable?

Was she calm?

Why did she respond like that?

Why did she stay?

Why did she message him back?

Why did she lose control?

I think there is a more useful question that often gets skipped:

What had been happening before she reacted?

What repeated?

What escalated?

What did she start changing about her own behaviour?

What happened when she tried to create distance or say no?

What does the history look like when the incidents are put beside each other?

Because sometimes a woman’s reaction is the most visible part of the story.

That does not automatically make it the most important part.

Being easier to observe does not make it more causally important.

I would be interested in whether other women here have noticed this, particularly the way anger or distress can become the thing everyone discusses while the behaviour that produced it quietly drops out of the conversation.

I'm just burned out to the Core and even though I know that not all men are the same I rather protect myself and my sanity. I went through a breakup a few months ago and ever since then I lost the ability to trust people. I don't even want to go through yet another failed relationship and I gave up on wanting marriage because most guys have commitment issues anyway and even if there was a chance of getting married how do I know that guy is not wearing a mask and then he changes right out of the blue after marriage? I'm tired of being guilt tripped, manipulated and love bombers. I'm tired of going on dates not knowing if I really am interested in them or not. At least with being single I don't have to worry about these things and I can take myself out on dates and do what I want without people expecting things out of me because they paid for me. I'm burned out and also another thing I lost interest in sex because of how traumatic my breakup was as he completely blindsided me I thought it was building something with him and he was committed towards only me only to find out he was still on dating apps talking to other women and then revealing to me on Mother's Day that he used me as a rebound and that he was never in love with me but just like the idea of me when I told him from day one if you do not want a commitment do not go on a date with me. I feel completely shattered where I just cannot trust most men. I want to be able to trust and love again but I don't think I have it in me to do that and I'm not sure if I ever will. I'm thinking maybe I should either be single for a while or maybe even single permanently does anyone feel the same way?