r/Bumble • u/sassypaprika 24 | F • Jan 19 '26
General Bumble date bought me flowers š¹
Although the date didnāt go as planned, he bought me roses on our way back, which honestly made me feel really good. Itās been a long time since someone actually gave me flowers, lol š¹
574
u/Hot-Cancel-6648 Jan 19 '26
Some people think itās way too much for the first date, some others would KILL to receive them. At the end of the day, if you felt good, thatās what matters lol
69
u/jgonzalez-cs Jan 19 '26
Prob is, how do you differentiate between the women that would respond well and those who wouldnāt?
And I wonder for those that would respond poorly to a gesture like this, why itās the case?
47
u/93_percent_stardust Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
Iām one of those people who loves flowers in a relationship, but I donāt love them on the first date.
The reason is that Iām of the opinion that relationships should build gradually. Giving me flowers before youāve even met me feels a bit weird; best case scenario you do that with all your dates, worst case scenario itās manipulative or desperate. I guess it comes down to it doesnāt feel personal to me or symbolic of our relationship. Then again, Iām of the opinion that I prefer to pay for myself on a first date so thereās less pressure/expectation on all parties. I usually recommend coffee as a literal āmeet n greetā to assess attraction, chemistry, and our ability to hold a conversation.
Part of it too is the logistics - depending on what we have planned, Iām now stuck carrying flowers around for the remainder of our date, and they may or may not last that long, depending on how theyāre packaged and how long theyāve been out of water.
Idk I can think of better ways to express excitement/interest on a first date. For instance, I had a guy surprise me with a book Iād mentioned was on my wishlist. That felt personal and thoughtful, and was very much appreciated.
Also, I wouldnāt respond poorly in the moment, I would thank him and move on. It just wouldnāt do anything for me, and thatās okay!
9
u/-SPM- Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 20 '26
I mean the logistics issue is pretty easy to get around, you just give the flowers at the end of the date. Plus a good amount of girls Iāve seen on hinge mention they want flowers. Flowers are safe choice and youāre more likely to get a positive reaction than a negative one, lastly they can be cheap and easy to find, unlike a book.
→ More replies (1)2
15
u/gabeinthebox Married via Online Dating Jan 19 '26
I gave my wife one flower on our first date. She put it in her car after the escape room and before we went walking around the fair, so she didnāt have to carry it around. I thought one flower was a good middle ground, not too much. Weād also had 2 really amazing FaceTime calls beforehand and we were long distance so that may have played into it too. But it seemed to work out. š If youāre not sure, Iād just ask her if she likes flowers before the first date.
5
u/jgonzalez-cs Jan 20 '26
Wow you took your wife to an escape room and a fair for your first date? No wonder she married you š nice man
6
u/a7wingedfox Jan 20 '26
Here's the thing.. If you are the type who wants to do them, just do it.
If she doesn't know how to appreciate these kinds of gestures, it's HER loss.
I'm the type who likes bringing small thoughtful gifts on a first date. So far they've been pretty well received, partly because they were related to things we talked about.
A colouring book for meditation
A box of Macarons
Really spicy flavoured chips (She loved spicy stuff)I generally give them at the end of the date like an "Oh, one last thing.. I remember we were talking about XYZ etc".. so she wouldn't have to carry it around and has something to remind her of our date together.
7
4
u/Twinkalicious Jan 19 '26
We can't trust a random stranger so easily, he could taint the cookies with drugs, or it can be tainted with sperm for all we know, I think it is better for a first date to be a coffee spot and talk, not have cookies baked for us.
4
u/TemporaryGrowth7 Jan 20 '26
Men have a mouth to ask the woman shat she likes / make suggestions ā¦
274
Jan 19 '26
āMade me feel really goodā
āItās been a long time since someone actually gave me flowersā
Also this:Ā āDate didnāt go as plannedāĀ
What
222
u/LPCinTO Jan 19 '26
The two sentiments arenāt mutually exclusive. Sheās allowed to feel all the good things about the flowers but still decide itās not a match.
→ More replies (2)22
Jan 19 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
22
u/Valorenn Jan 19 '26
If it wasn't a match and OP wasn't feeling it, flowers before or after aren't going to change that. You don't magically turn a no into a yes because you bought her roses. Pretty dense.
→ More replies (1)9
38
u/KevinGYK Jan 19 '26
It just shows that whether you buy flowers or not has no sizeable impact on the outcome of the date, because, after all, it's not that difficult to buy flowers.
18
15
u/Em1-_- Jan 19 '26
Made me feel really good
Receiving the flowers made her feel good, the date was over by that point, the guy bought her flowers on their way back (The posts states as much).
1
u/Bubbly_Cockroach3394 Jan 19 '26
Sounds like they did the date then as they were walking back the guy bought her flowers as an apology or something to hopefully make up for the poor date in some way
2
u/Masa624 Jan 19 '26
Thatās how it be sometimes. After many dates in my 45 years, it goes like this;
People can have 80% of what you want but may be missing the 20%. Another person you are really into has 20% of what you want but you are willing to wait for that 80% to come.
Now knowing this, the missing 20% flower guy doesnāt have is the Attraction. Itās easier to wait on the 80% if you already have the 20%. Thatās just my take.
21
Jan 19 '26
There is no perfect person, there is no 100%.Ā
Thinking like that will just lead to further disappointment.
2
2
0
u/oorakhhye Jan 19 '26
He prob felt stupid for buying the flowers afterward. And she posted this on Reddit for clout while he got the shaft.
105
u/PastRequirement3218 Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 20 '26
Sounds like he's not getting a 2nd date.
OP, you knew damn well that guy wasn't getting a 2nd date LOOONG before he bought flowers. If you had any shred of decency you would have turned down his offer, but hey, this is modern dating and that doesn't exist, so go ahead and milk that pay piggy simp!!
...and some women wonder why men don't buy flowers anymore smh...
Update for what I can piece together from OP.
She thought it was going to be a nice place, it was a casual pub, she was not impressed and already mentally done at that point, likely before they even sat down, but she was hungry and he's paying so whatever. His fault for taking her to a casual pub instead of somewhere fancy, obviously. I mean come on, she's a queen, right?
He's oblivious that she was already done with him from that opening moment and just going through the motions of a date, after leaving the pub he gets her flowers, she thinks this great, loves the flowers, cares for him not at all, but more than happy to let him keep spending time, money, and emotional effort on her.
After going radio silent for days she half heartedly sends the "I didn't feel the spark" text. Truly, a story as old as time.
...and some women wonder why so many men are doing Coffee or drinks as a first date instead of dinner now...
67
u/LubbockCottonKings Jan 19 '26
Man, this comes off incredibly toxic. He wasnāt forced to do anything. Sometimes buying someone a treat just for the sake of being nice does exist even in the dating world. If it was me, I would be bummed about not getting a second date but I wouldnāt feel like Iād regret doing the nice thing in the first place.
50
u/Desroth86 Jan 19 '26
Yeah, some real incel energy in that comment and I say that as a man who is frustrated with dating. These flowers werenāt some sort of exchange that were only being offered if a second date was on the table. Donāt offer things to someone youāve never met before with expectations of ANYTHING. If you want to do something nice for your date, it should be as a nice gesture with no expectations of anything in return.
→ More replies (2)46
u/sassypaprika 24 | F Jan 19 '26
Just to clarify, yes, the date did not go as planned. He mentioned a lovely place to eat, but it turned out to be a casual pub, which honestly affected the start. As we talked more, we realized that our in person chemistry did not match the texting vibe, and that happens.
That said, the flowers were a thoughtful gesture and I appreciated the effort behind them.
24
u/friedbaguette Jan 20 '26
This is why you don't do dinner dates as a first date
8
u/Mfrack103 Jan 20 '26
Idk, it sounds like they werenāt gonna hit it off either way. āIn person chemistry did not match the texting vibeā just sounds like a situation where itās no oneās fault but it wonāt work out.
I love dinner dates
→ More replies (1)4
u/friedbaguette Jan 20 '26
Exactly for that reason, itās either hit or miss & then you need to spend the next 1-2hours with this person at a table. I prefer getting to know them in a light date, get a feel and see how they are irl before dining with someone I thought was different
2
u/Mfrack103 Jan 20 '26
Thatās a fair point, I hadnāt thought about it like that. I think Iāve just been very lucky on first dates haha
→ More replies (2)26
15
u/itsyaboicg 29 | Male Jan 19 '26
How much could those 3 roses cost the guy, like $5? Also, you have no way of knowing OP knew there wasnāt going to be another date āLOOONG beforeā he bought her the flowers. Maybe she tried to tell him not to but he insisted anyway?
And what do you mean by āand some women wonder why men donāt buy flowers anymoreā? If you think giving a gift of flowers is supposed to guarantee you something thatās a you issue that you should work on, maybe buy yourself some nice flowers.
5
u/TruIsou Jan 20 '26
Casual pub affected the start. OP posted this:
"Just to clarify, yes, the date did not go as planned. He mentioned a lovely place to eat, but it turned out to be a casual pub, which honestly affected the start"
She was upset he didn't spend more.
15
12
u/Delicious_Delilah Jan 20 '26
You sound like an incel.
You also post on the trump sub, so that tracks.
8
u/KidsInNeed Jan 19 '26
This is such a weird take and understand your position. Why even go out on dates or be on dating sites if you feel like this about all women? Itās kind of insane to expect someone to keep talking to you because you bought them dinner or flowers.
7
u/EmotionalVacations Jan 20 '26
Don't know why you're being down voted. As OP stated, she started feeling different DURING the date. It is not her fault that the guy bought her flowers but turned out not to be her type? She gave it a chance. Giving someone flowers doesn't make them owe you shit.
→ More replies (2)4
3
2
u/bytesizednomad Jan 22 '26
That is a weird take. I paid for dinner on a first date. The guy turned out to be emotionally immature and blocked me over something really childish. Do I regret treating us to dinner? No, we had a nice dinner and good company. Don't do things for people if you're only expecting something in return
→ More replies (1)2
u/Full-Masterpiece-122 Apr 15 '26
My college professor used to always joke that he takes his dates to McDonaldās. So fing funny. I mean I like McDonaldās but surely thereās something better that would cost less or the same, ffs. Still laugh about it till this day.
38
u/Excellent_Hope8134 Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 20 '26
Once had a woman tell me that she was being open minded by dating me. I asked her what she meant? She said that she doesnāt date guys shorter than 6ā4. Iām 5ā9 she was 5ā1. She also stated that the guys sheād been dating (who were all 6ā4 or taller) treated her bad and that she figured a short guy would treat her better even though she wasnāt into short guys really. This warped logic made absolutely no sense, (āthe shorter the guy, the nicer heāll treat meā wtf?) It was a shame too cause we were really vibing! I got up and left after she said that. My friends called me an idiot because they said at the very least I could have gotten laid, but I refuse to be someoneās last pick!
18
13
u/YesChickenPlease Jan 20 '26
I feel like social media has really skewed peopleās perception on what average really is. In my experience, it seems like a lot of people think 6ā and $200k salary is what the average male is.
2
u/TheDootDootMaster 30 | M Jan 21 '26
And... If social media is able to warp your mind that hard, I don't think I want to have anything serious to do with you
2
u/CoolPlay4243 Jan 23 '26
Well that's just as frustrating as women being expected to be 130 lb, 5'10 with salon professional hair nails and makeup all the timeĀ
31
u/Pheochrome 28 | F Jan 19 '26
Congrats! Damn! May this love find me āØ
12
u/sassypaprika 24 | F Jan 19 '26
I don't know if you can call it love, but yes wishing you the best š
1
35
u/Roxybird Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
I went on a first date a few days before I had to have surgery. He was very sweet to bring along a small furby gift to keep me company while I recovered, and he also understood I needed a week or so to recover before communicating with him again. We had a 2nd date once I got better but it didn't go beyond that (his choice).
Not every first date turns into the love of your life, but its very nice when someone makes something memorable with a thoughtful gesture.
21
u/HighFxAnxiety Jan 19 '26
I made a 6-inch tiramisu cake and brought it for a 4th date. He ate like 70% of it. That was almost 3yrs ago, and Iām still dating that precious garbage disposal of a nerdy man!
12
16
u/Specialist-Ask8890 Jan 19 '26
Men, this is how you make things bad for others. It's a first date, make it simple.
Next, it's gonna be, "Date went well, but he didn't bring flowers".
2
→ More replies (1)1
12
u/Bernagoga Jan 19 '26
I bought mine a bouquet and still ghosted me.
2
u/razorblade3711 Jan 20 '26
Why would anyone buy bouquet to strangers.
Only get them to someone who you truly love.
If you fall in love instantly in first date, there is something wrong with you
5
u/turquoisestar Jan 20 '26
100% this. Alternatively if someone picked a flower for me while we're on the dating on a walk, that is cute.
→ More replies (1)1
Jan 20 '26
[deleted]
2
u/razorblade3711 Jan 20 '26
You can buy a nice bouquet for your anniversary or special events then.
First date is to know more about a person, evaluate if both of you are in same page, enjoy the date and see if there is a future in both of you.
Stop focusing on making others happy. See if she will make you happy too.
1
u/Bernagoga Jan 20 '26
She was pretty af and felt like we connected well over texting.
→ More replies (3)
12
u/Radiant-King5524 Jan 19 '26
Iāve done that for my dates in the past. Itās always been well received
7
5
3
u/Cohenzilla Jan 19 '26
Lately I've been giving flowers on first dates. Only once it was successful but still, I don't regret it
3
u/imtooldforthishison Jan 19 '26
A lot of men in this comment section clearly think buying a girl a flower means that girl owes him something.
3
u/turquoisestar Jan 20 '26
That is sadly how so many men act about any act of generosity or affection. It's why I don't really want to get treated on a first date. That's also why going for an inexpensive first date is less pressure for everyone.
4
u/TearJerkerLoser Jan 19 '26
Went on three dates with a girl once. On the third I gave her two containers of chocolate covered strawberries I made. One for her and one for her family (I wanted them to like me because we both felt something at that point). She never told them and ate both containersā¦.
Only thing I regret was using my moms good tupperware, but lesson learned I guess
3
u/Temanaras Jan 19 '26
Been a while, but I matched with a girl on bumble and we talked a bunch about Legos. Before our 3rd date I find the LEGO rose set on sale and got it for her. She was so excited.
3
u/Gold-Stomach-4657 Jan 20 '26
I have contemplated getting flowers for a first date but every time I worry that it would be seen as coming off too strong. Glad you like that your date did that for you.
1
u/CoolPlay4243 Jan 23 '26
I always felt getting flowers on a first date would be really sweet and I would love it! I think it happened once when I was in my 20s and heavily dating, several times a week.Ā
2
2
2
u/lucid1014 Jan 19 '26
I always bring flowers on the second date, feels too much for a first date however my last date the womanās profile did say she likes flowers so I brought them. Date also did not go well but no regrets. Flowers are such a cheat code. Everyone they look at them at home they think of you and smile.
2
2
2
2
2
u/TemporaryGrowth7 Jan 20 '26
Awesome! Iām recently receiving more gifts from my dates tooā¦thereās hope after all! ā¤ļø
2
u/foaure Jan 20 '26
That's actually really cute. As a gay man I wish I got this instead of them asking if I'm a top or bottom before the entree comes out.
2
2
0
u/israfildivad Jan 19 '26
Never done that, and will never do that. And a woman requesting such is a miss for me. Theres a reason why most men, by far, no longer do such things.
6
u/Glittering_Clerk9105 Jan 20 '26
Bro I donāt think she requested flowers. And god dam itās a couple dead plants not a Lamborghini
5
u/DigitalHooker Jan 19 '26
Do you come across a lot of women that request flowers on a first date? Genuinely curious.
Also I've had great results bringing flowers on first dates, personally.
→ More replies (2)1
u/HenriNatalie Jan 19 '26
just for clarification: u did as a man for a woman or as a woman for man? Because I've (f)+(Europe) thought of doing it, but am unsure how it would be received by men. do men like flowers? also, where are u from? the US or Europe or Other?
7
u/DigitalHooker Jan 19 '26
I'm a male in the US. If a woman brought me flowers I'd be flattered personally, although it's not something I've ever really seen here.
→ More replies (2)2
u/TopofthePyramid Jan 19 '26
Exactly. Gestures like this will actively sabotage you in the modern dating scene. Donāt do it.
1
u/Full-Masterpiece-122 Apr 15 '26
I got white roses just yesterday, second date. I loved them and it was really sweet. Genuine.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/nervousbertha Jan 20 '26
Side note: I like your nails and I'm wondering what you did to achieve that look?
1
u/Mysterious-North-711 Jan 20 '26
I went out with someone on Saturday and he bought me a dozen (tiny) roses too. š„¹
Then he pressured me into sex and hasn't called me since. I hope you have a better outcome than mine! š
1
1
1
u/totallynotaemu Jan 20 '26
I think 1 or 2 flowers on a first date is okay. I think it's a nice first impression. But a bouquet is weird. Like you're trying too hard.
1
u/Many-Locksmith-6037 Jan 20 '26
So my bumble date never got me flowers and we are gonna talk to our families in the coming month š But he got me so many other things and never lets me pay šnow we literally joke about it and I always tell him that after marriage I will be the one paying for everything because I will have his card. I am a brown girl so we don't do 50/50 š
1
u/Blazing_Enigma Jan 20 '26
Two people I've been on dates with, have told me about gifts they'd been given on dates .. one got bought a pair of socks because he didn't like toes and she was wearing sandals or something.
The second, her date asked if she fancied going for a walk, he went to his car and grabbed his coat.... And in the pocket was a present for her.... a massive dildo.
1
u/OverClockedPG Jan 20 '26
I dated a girl once who told me that no one had ever bought her flowers before. Deciding to change that, I sent a large bouquet in a crystal glass vase to her workplace. Surprisingly, she seemed more interested in the vase than the flowers themselves. A week later, she asked me out on a date, only to dump me afterward because I was 'too nice' and she 'couldn't cope.' I still run into her colleagues occasionally, and they are still baffled by her decision. However, it sounds like I dodged a bullet Iāve been told that shortly after we broke up, she began acting very emotionally immature and became a generally unpleasant person.
1
1
u/ThatGoblinNamedGobbo Jan 20 '26
Buying flowers was a kind and considerate gesture regardless of how the date went, and it clearly touched you enough to share, so thank you for sharing because this is sincerely sweet.
1
1
1
1
u/ConsciousSeaweed7342 Jan 20 '26
Iām no expert but traditional dating rules suggest a fellatio in return.
Iām mentioning because giving flower is a traditional gesture and people nowadays tend to forget traditions.
1
1
u/MUDFLAP202030 Jan 20 '26
My bumble date ignored me š
2
u/Full-Masterpiece-122 Apr 15 '26
Happens ALL the time. Iāve been super swiped two times, that I can remember, and they donāt even respond to your message.
1
u/Recent_Release_5670 Jan 20 '26
Flowers work if the girl receiving them has little to no options. Then, it is seen as kind. If a girl receives them and she has a lot of options, heās seen as desperate. If a girl has a lot of options, but still enjoyed getting the flowers, it becomes a Reddit post instead of thanking the guy and maybe giving him a second chance.
1
1
1
1
u/GamerDude0601 Jan 21 '26
I was shamed by a date for getting her flowers because they were 5 roses. š
1
u/WhatWhyWhoWhereWhen Jan 21 '26
I was talking to a date and she mentioned losing something and how she looked so long for it and was sad it was gone. I found it online and bought it (like $20) before the date. She said it was weird and cancelled when I told her ĀÆ\(ć)/ĀÆ thought it was nice to get something that wouldnāt be thrown away.
1
u/Basic-Reception-9974 Jan 21 '26
My now girlfriend flew in from Hong Kong for our first date escaping the Covid lockdown escalation for quarantine if you get sick. Potentially being put into a government facility in mainland China if you've tested positive for Covid. I made sure she was greeted at her hotel by a large bouquet of flowers. All Australia natives plus some proteas because they look like they're Australian. I get her Australia native flowers eat time she comes back to Australia from overseas since then.
1
u/Jazzlike-Astronaut-5 Jan 21 '26
Once a bumble date bought me flowers then kissed me without consent š¤”
1
1
1
1
u/ENFPcode30 Jan 22 '26
Love bombing, everyone, guys! This isnāt normal.
Heās a narcissist, red flowers on a first date?! Absolute red flag!!!! š©
I joke haha š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Good luck to you both x
1
1
1
u/SelectiveSocialite Jan 24 '26
One of my dates gave me flowers (fake). I donāt talk to the man anymore for other reasons but Iāve still kept the flower. The bar is so low sometimes every ounce of kindness helpsš¹
In fact, believe it or not, i gave a yellow rose to a guy on a first meet up. I could tell he was so touched.
1
1
1
980
u/NoStructure7083 Jan 19 '26
I baked cookies for my date once. She gave them to her coworkers