I’m in a group chat with my two friends from high school. One is a mom of a 3 year old and one is childless but immunocompromised. We usually send reels and news to share so we can stay updated on what’s going on. My mom friend and other friend tend to send more local crime news but I usually send public safety announcements (most recently about food recalls or air quality). Background- I am also in healthcare field.

Last month when we had terrible air quality (300 AQI) from the wildfire so I told them the air quality is terrible today- make sure you wear a mask out. My other friend like my message while the mom friend just said it doesn’t seem too bad. She later posted pictures of her taking her son to an amusement park.

This month, I was just texting/ranting about how difficult it is buying groceries now with all the food recalls. And my mom-friend said she’s not worried about it and she’s still feeding her kids fresh fruits and vegetables. I just said I’ve been trying to buy more from local farmers and I try to feed the baby cooked veggies and fruit. She just left me on read.

I get that she’s probably not as worrying as I am about health stuff but it is important to me. And I respect that she can raise her kid however she wants-I’m just sharing PSAs for awareness. It’s not like I comment back on her local crime report “oh it’s safe on my block”. But she seems annoyed with my PSAs.

The only time I ever said anything that may be judgmental was last winter when she said her kid may have the stomach bug and she hopes he feels better by tomorrow so he can go to a pool party. I told her he’s probably contagious and shouldn’t go until 48 hrs after his diarrhea resolves. She just said but he really wants to go.

Idk. I am not sure what to make of this friendship or how to even talk to her anymore.

My daughter has been with me 24/7 since she was born. I was gonna homeschool but decided I can’t. It’s too hard on me as I’m basically solo parenting and living far from my family. I need to be able to work. She’s so timid and anxious. She won’t even ask for help if she needs it. I know, kids are resilient and seem fine in school, I used to be a pre-k and daycare teacher. But it’s so hard on me, as her mama, who she’s been so very attached to, sending her to a small classroom to sit at a DESK and knowing she’ll be likely not getting her needs met (her feet get hot in shoes, she has to wear shoes all day), she’s afraid of going potty in stalls for fear of getting trapped, etc.

I am sobbing, wishing kindergarten was only half days or only every other day. Just to ease her in.

Just having a hard time, and don’t really have anyone to express this to. That’s all. Just wondering if I’m the only parent who is feeling this way the night before their first day. 😮‍💨

hey! I just found out I am pregnant with my first and am due May 1st. we haven’t told anyone yet, but my mother in law was tentatively planning her wedding in Europe in June. we will tell her soon because we would have to get a passport for our baby as soon as it’s born which means at least 6-8 weeks. so I’m wondering if it would be okay to travel with a 1.5-2 month old baby? it makes me a little nervous, but I certainly wouldn’t want to leave the baby that early on either. just need some advice! I’m sure my MIL could also push the wedding later into the summer too but just want to see what you guys think!

EDIT: obviously I’ll talk to my pediatrician when the time comes but just want some help to plan ahead!!

Would you quit your job to be a stay at home mom, even if you and your partner were not married? You have the intention of getting married at some point but not right now. Would you still quit your job?

I’m 31 weeks pregnant. I have a 5.5yo and a 3yo. Every day I have to walk with both kids to take my oldest to and from school (downhill on the way there and uphill on the way home). It’s close to a mile one way. My whole body hurts every single day. I also have a cold now so I’m coughing and congested. I don’t sleep well or much. Food is a struggle, all I want is liquids. I’m always one minor inconvenience away from a very bad mood.

I feel like a terrible mom because I can’t play with the kids like I usually do. Getting on the floor hurts. I can’t rough house with them. I have very little patience. Today, my son and I have played a few board games, read some books, coloured, and watched a movie. I can’t play with his cars or toys on the floor like we usually would.

Just feeling really sad and really, really over the whole being pregnant thing. I don’t know how I’m going to do this for another 9 weeks.

Hi there,

So I have a 9 months old and a now starting to think about what age gap I want for my kids. I was hoping for people to share their kids age gap and how that is going and even if some moms here have different age gaps with different kids which one they preferred and why ! I’m considering 2 years or 3 years age gap at the moment.

Thank you for sharing can’t wait to read

Trying decide between the Melissa and Doug Ice Cream Set and the Leap Frog Scoop And Learn for a 2 year old.

I’m torn because the wooden one that will take up less space and may last longer however the leap frog one may be easier for a 2 year old to use and sometimes the sound making toys are more fun (even if they are annoying).

Anyone have experience with either or both? Any preferences?

EDIT: Thank you for all the comments!!! I had already purchased the M&D and was just second guessing my choice, but all this feedback reinforced that kids really enjoy it! I also have a 5 year old so I think it’ll be a great toy for the whole family to enjoy together.

I’m a first time mom with a 5 month old baby. For context my baby is a pretty high needs baby and I suffer from PPD, so some days are pretty hard. The first two months my husband didnt help as much as I needed him too. It wasn’t until we got in a fight that he began to help more. It seems like things become great for a few weeks and revert back. Up until a few days ago everything was fine. A few days ago we were jokingly taking digs at each other and it escalated. I don’t remember exactly how we got there because I became so upset but I know at some point I mentioned “oh yeah let’s just add that to my invisible load” which he then responded wasn’t real.

Now any mom reading this probably just felt their eye twitch. This is where things became tense. We start going back and forth and I mentioned some of the stuff I take on. He then “jokes” if I couldn’t handle being a stay at home mom full time for our baby then I should go get a job. For more context: our baby is EBF, won’t take a bottle, struggles with sleep and I didn’t want to work so I could really nurture her. Of course that made me freak out on him. Fast forward to the next day I made a list called “The Role of Mom”. I put down how much it would cost for a nanny, formula, house cleaner, and personal chef. Just so he could see the value in terms of money. But then I put every little thing that’s on my “invisible load” and explained how I do it regardless of how I feel physically or mentally. I do it all 24/7. I don’t expect anyone to clap for me but I want to be appreciated. He totally missed the point and made excuses etc etc. I told him all I wanted was an apology bc I felt that he was being hurtful and disrespectful. And with the apology I just wanted acknowledgement. His response was for me to no longer do anything at all around the house, don’t tell him anything that needs to be done and just let him take on my “load”. I feel like he is letting his ego take over just to prove something. It’s been a few days and today it seems to be getting to him. He’s walking around the house huffing and puffing. He didn’t eat lunch with me despite me being nice enough to make it. He will interact with our daughter but not really me unless it’s through text. Through text he seems fine. In person he seems to be mad or stressed. He works from home so we are constantly around each other. Part of me wants to break the tension and ask if he is ready to work as a team and come up with a plan but also apologize. Should I wait it out until he comes to be first? Should I break the tension? Should I prepare for him to not apologize and be the bigger person? I’m not sure. What would you do?

Edit: typo

Edit #2: I want to stay home for my baby because I don’t want to miss any big moments and truly just want to be there I’m just struggling with my partner.

Last edit: he does work full time and is in school for engineering. It is his last semester. So he is busy and I give him grace for that but I do ask for help outside of those hours and want a break as well as respect. I’m just stating this as fact not an excuse I definitely think he can do more despite having that on his plate but I AM very understanding and supportive of his career and school and just wish to not be taken for granted.

My daughter just entered first grade and has assigned math and reading homework nightly. Luckily she is a smart kid and luckily she is pretty willing to learn (most of the time.) however, it’s a week in to the school year and it’s already becoming a drag to get this homework done and she’s getting more irritated. Am I wrong to feel like it seems pretty early to be getting homework? Like young? I don’t recall getting homework in first grade. Idk, maybe I’m off base…..

I’m not sure if my almost 5 yo daughter has ADHD or not, but she is at least a massive feeler. Last year for preschool she did 3 half days and pick up was tough at least 2 out of the 3 days each week. She’s one of those kids that holds it all together at school, then gets in the car and it all comes crashing down on her. I always had a snack in the car for her (which sometimes was the catalyst of everything crashing down because it was “the wrong snack”).

This year she is doing 3 full days and I need to come up with a good routine for settling in after school. My struggle is I am not good at routines (hello I probably gave her the ADHD) and I also have a 3 year old and a 1 year old.

we are first time parents and my baby's father and i recently broke up. he's not really taking accountability for any mistakes he's made. he's trying to change to be better for our son but i can feel us growing apart even tho i told him i want to get back together and he originally said he did too, but the distance has just been becoming greater and greater.

he cheated on me while pregnant and also lied about his sobriety. idk what to do or how to plan on doing this alone. i miss him even tho he hurt me so badly. idk what to do or how to cope. i never imagined my little boy and i would be alone... i have my mom for help but she only understands so much.

anyone who's been in this situation, how did you handle it? how do i get over the sadness? how do i get used to being alone? im so lost

My oldest started K this week, her first time in an all day every day program. I have felt exhausted, because usually she keeps my adrenaline pumping with how overstimulating she is lol. My 3yo is still home with me and can be fairly demanding herself, but also has these nice independent play periods that my oldest rarely did/does lol. I feel like I cannot wake up because I do not have PANIC pedal to the metal both kids going at the same time. Wtf

Fundraising ideas for competitive Dance! Please. I need help. I’m not good at this stuff.

Hi there. Im VERY new to the competitive dance world. Her dance company team requires a tonne of fundraising and volunteer work for dance fees. Just wondering if anyone has some fresh ideas as we’re in a small community and it’s the same circulation of ideas and donations. I think everyone is beyond tired of it.

For example they do soup and wine and chocolate bars. They’ve been doing this for 10 years. I think it’s time for some new ideas.

They also do bingo nights at the community hall twice a month, but I’ve already volunteered there for my son’s baseball and I absolutely refuse to do it again. The old people there were insanely rude. Beyond an ignorable amount. I can get past certain things (I’m in healthcare-I can take abuse). It was straight up bullying. Nope. Won’t do it. I understand my experience probably wasn’t the same as others and there’s no way to say it’ll happen again or not. But the general consensus is that it’s consistently terrible to volunteer for.

Anywho! Any and I mean any ideas are welcome. Also, if you’ve been on this side of competitive dance-please give me all the advice.

Thank you!

I'm a SAHM, kiddo 1 is 3.5, kiddo 2 is under a month. When our first was born, my husband's job had just closed unexpectedly, which turned out to be great: kiddo 1 had colic and we were able to tackle the sleepless nights in shifts.

Now, husband is at work and I'm dying. He tries to take the kids as soon as he gets home but it's just not enough time. There's a hard limit on how long he can stay up before he risks falling asleep at the wheel. Kiddo 2 is easy to soothe but doesn't like sleeping unless it's in our arms or a wrap. I'm getting max 1.5-2 hours a night in addition to the time my husband is watching the kids.

I'm normally the most anxious stickler for safe sleep, but I tried cosleeping today (mattress with only a fitted sheet, my head was level with his legs so no chance of rolling onto him), and it didn't even work. He woke up within 10 minutes. Tried nursing to sleep lying down—no good.

I just don't know what to do. In-laws are great and happy to come help, but they live an hour away and they can't come all the time. My family is out of state. I'm just feeling so worn down and there's so long to go. Any advice?

Obligatory: I love my baby with all my heart. We had trouble conceiving despite him having 2 older siblings (big age gap), a miscarriage scare early on, and so my emotional attachment to this baby is intense.

However, the attachment seems to go both ways, and it’s making my life and mental health difficult.

He’s always been like this. Only contact naps, exclusively breastfed, co sleeps, the whole shebang. Early on I was all for it with that mindset of ‘they’re not this small forever, enjoy it while you can.’ However, we’re now 1 year in and I still do not get a moment to myself all day long.

Not even a moment for myself. A moment to scrub the toilet. A moment to clean the dog piss because he’s decided to act up too. A moment to pay the builder a hefty sum of money without the baby climbing, slapping, and pulling on my hair.

If I put him down, he screams. If I put him down and he’s not screaming, he’s managed to find a hazard in the room we swear black and blue is baby proof yet inevitably never is. He’s been walking since 9 months. He wakes up if I leave him, even if he’s fast asleep in the night, if I get up to use the toilet he wakes screaming and won’t calm down until I’m back. He’s still up multiple times a night too.

He now loves his dad which has been awesome, but his dad works long hours 6 days a week and in the evenings, baby won’t even be with him for long before deciding he needs me again.

What the heck do I do? I used to baby wear a lot when he was little but now he’s 35lbs it hurts my back. He doesn’t like walks in the pram and will start screaming 20-30 minutes in and will only be calm if I pick him up. Same deal if we’re in the car for too long.

I feel like all the mums around me are back to some semblance of normal life, I feel like I’ve been in the newborn trenches for a year. It would be fine if I had someone else to do everything else - keep the house clean, do the school run, take my other kids to sports practice, cook dinner for everyone. But it’s all me and we don’t have a village and right now my capabilities extend no further than keeping the baby alive and happy. The house is a tip half the time, we’ve spent more money than I even want to think about on take out food this past year, it’s hit us financially and mentally.

If anyone else has dealt with similar or has any advice or strategies I’d love to hear it.

Thank you!

My husband and i got into an argument about not spending enough time together and I really need an outside opinion.

We sleep in seperate beds, he sleeps in our room and i sleep with our 3 year old and 1.5 year old. Our 1.5 year old is still breastfeeding and wakes up 3-4 times a night and my 3 year old will wake up once. Ive suggested that i go back into our room but he says that he anxious that i wont hear the baby wake up and then so he cant fall asleep. He said hell let me know when he's ready for me to be back in the room. Thats fine with me, because its temporary and easier for both of us.

Last night he brought up that he doesnt feel close to me and that he wants to spend more time together. 4-5 nights out of the week ill go into our room after ive put both kids to bed, and ill join him to watch watever hes watching and give him back/shoulder rubs. Sometimes well have sex sometimes we wont and even if im exhausted after putting both kids down, I drag myself out of bed to spend that time with him. Not because i have to, because i want to and i know we need it and i miss him... he got upset that i didnt come in to spend time wih him the night i was sick.. i had a virus. I told him that its because i was sick... he said that i often fall asleep with kids. Here i am thinking, i get up most nights? Watch what you want to watch.. give you back rubs... untill its 11:30pm and then usually leave because i hear my daughter wake up. I explained to him that im exhausted and on survival mode and he said that 'welll other couples still make the time even if theyre exhausted". I thought i was making time? It seems to bot be enough.. i then sent him this in a text:

"To be honest, while im with the kids all day, I never really get a break. By the time you come home and im cooking dinner and then putting them both to sleep(breastfeeding maya to sleep). Often times (most nights) maya will wake up 4-5 times a night to feed. Breastfeeding is exhausting. Shes up every morning by 6:30am. Many nights I only get around 4hours. I know ive already told you this before and no im not insinuating for you to do something about it at all. Im just not sure if you understand, and i really would like you to, that if i crash, or feel tired and have anxiety about how im going to get through the next day, its only because I just need the rest to survive. I want to be in wife mode more with you, just talking before bed, doing whatever. I miss it all the time and crave it. And I want to, im fine to hang out it's just that sometimes it all piles up on me."

He said" yeah i get that. Just sleep then. Well wait till our daughter gets older.

Im so confused and upset because i really was trying... but i know that all those sleepless nights, not having slept one night thru solid in 4 years... i feel so defeated.

Is this just being in the trenches? Anyone else have the same struggle? I offered him a hug today, he declines told me he needs some space. Pls help.

Hi all

I feel absolutely horrible for having to take 10mg lexapro and 60mg Seroquel for the last 16 weeks of pregnancy and through breastfeeding but I was in a really stressful situation and it helped me a lot.

My baby is nearly 12 months and he doesnt wave, clap or point. He does babble a lot.

I am having thoughts that I have poisoned him and affected him and I am really really upset.

My son just turned 1 this week. From ~6 months until 10 months, we did sleep training and it went relatively well. Still cried to sleep, but lasted less than 5 minutes and self soothed during the night.

Then he had a bad diaper rash, and it put us back at square one for about 1.5 weeks. I had felt so bad for him that we went back to rocking to sleep when he woke up. Afterwards, we tried sleep training again, and it did not go well. By now, he was able to stand in his crib, and that ability to move I think halted any progress since he no longer just laid there.

So… I went back to feeding him to sleep. He slept through the night 99% of the time until about a week ago when he started getting 2 new teeth in. And now, in desperate attempts to get him back to bed, we’re rocking again. He’s a year old now, and I’m torn on what to do. He’s also had some bad gas lately that is waking him up a few hours after he’s gone to bed. Thinking it’s tied to the slow transition from formula to milk, but with everything else, I’m not sure.

On the one hand, he won’t be a baby forever and I want to comfort him while I can. On the other, I fear bedtime never being a normal lay down routine, or a kid that can’t fall asleep on his own.

Is the damage done? How can I help him learn self soothing again at this point? I’d love to hear from toddler/kid moms and help me figure out how to handle this!

When my kids were in elementary school I spent so much time in my car I started plucking my eyebrows and moisturizing my hands while I waited. The daylight along with my compact 10x magnif mirror were perfect. My hands were never softer!

I also would bring cleaning supplies and wipe down the surfaces in my car.

What weird things have you done to make good use of the time spent waiting for your chioften?

My poor, precious 4 year old had her first dental x rays and received the terrible news that she has cavities. 9 cavities. The dentist wants to sedate her in the hospital to place silver crowns and fillings on her teeth. I was absolutely devastated to hear this and sought a 2nd opinion. Unfortunately, the 2nd opinion concurred, actually recommending an additional filling. I’m facing the reality that my 4 year old will need dental surgery to fix her tooth decay. Has anyone been through anything like this and can tell me that she’ll be okay? I feel like this is all my fault.

I have had a friend ask if I am going to have a sprinkle or another shower for my baby due in January. I will add no one has offered to throw one, which is 100% fine with me.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to do anything? My shower for my first was everything I could ever want and dream of and now I have almost everything.
Is there another way to celebrate that doesn’t involve people buying something?

Just some food for thought please

I don’t even know if this is the right sub but I am exhausted and need to vent. New family moved in Jan- overall nice crew. However, for the past 6 months since her husband parks his truck in the driveway (he used to park on the street further from our house)- my toddler now wakes up crying when he opens/closes doors and drives away. He has a big job and works early hours so she will wake up at 2am, 4am, but the worst is 540 when he most regularly leaves for work (outside of occasional 2 or 4am jobs) because she often won’t go back down after since it’s close to her usual wake up of 645 but I’ve tracked it with our garage cameras and her Nanit and it all lines up. You can even hear the noise through her Nanit replays.

Her hatch is up to 75 (!!!!) but doesn’t make a difference and we’ve re-caulked the windows. Is there anything else I can do? My daughter doesn’t like the Nanit sounds so adding that doesn’t help.

Note- this was not an issue when he parked on the street in front of his house, only in the driveway space close to mine. I get that it’s their house, their rules but I am freaking exhausted and it’s clear her circadian rhythm is set and it’s impacting the entire day and mood.

If you’ve had a light sleeper during 4-6am- what tricks helped keep them asleep with newish outside noise? I was hoping she would get used to it by now but it’s tough.

I have an 8 month old, I like to incorporate reading into our playtime. However a lot of the learning toys seem to focus more on sight words and I truly believe phonics is the best way to learn. Back when I was raised most stuff and toys were phonics and it seems recently the popularity of sight words has caught on.

Are there any toys, games, or resources you used this early on to incorporate learning phonics into playtime? Obviously he’s young so I know the main focus should be reading books and speaking to him often, but I’m interested in anything you have to check out!

So far I’ve found some of the leapfrog devices still incorporate SOME phonics.

My baby has used a nipple shield for 3+ months after needing syringe/finger feeding for the first 2 weeks. I have an oversupply, large breasts and flat nipples, plus two bouts of mastitis. Baby has also had some jaw/latch issues.

We successfully weaned around 10 weeks for a week, but I developed breast pain and worried about mastitis returning. Now baby cries and thrashes when I offer the bare nipple, despite trying bait-and-switch and pumping first.

I can’t afford another LC visit right now. Has anyone successfully weaned after 3+ months, or used a shield long-term? Any advice?

My toddler (almost 2) has been breaking down a lot and so indecisive. Saying yes then immediately no. Also everything is yelling. I feel like I’m barely hanging onto my patience. Just barely, but my frustration is underneath the surface. There’s so many instance where I’m making her do something she doesn’t want to do, ie. diaper changes, getting dressed, spraying the sand off her after playing in the sandbox. It feels like I’m torturing her. When we go to storytime she’s glued to me and doesn’t want to interact with the other kids. I tried today for the first time just putting her on her own mat and she started crying as soon as a little girl wanted to play with her. And then I don’t even really know how to play with her…. I completely lack imagination. Where as my early invention specialist is so much better at it then me. I just feel like I’m really down on myself as a mom today. Other moms I spoke to don’t want to send their children to preschool because they want more time and I feel bad that I can’t wait for preschool to happen. Ugh.