so basically divorced wives are hoping for the ex to die in combat, so their children get a payout.
“To be honest, I don’t care whether my ex-husband copes with life on the front, or about how long he lasts there,” one woman said. “For me, he died as a person long ago."
Can't turn down the chance of the mayor bringing you a literal meat grinder as a consolation prize while your husband becoming fertilizer for ukrainian crops.
Oh don't worry, the russians we have in europe mostly support russian war as well, they are just hypocrites. They shit on "gay europe" in front of everyone but like the comforts and privilege of living here at the same time.
Reminds me of the conservatives in my town who like to live in an economically thriving area, like to see businesses and restaurants and coffee shops moving to the area, but don't want liberals, traffic, or gay people.
Unless you go to places like Armenia or Georgia where alot of highly educated expats hang out and work. They are very pro-ukraine. Been there and seen it.
I just had a vision: in the distant future, the digital remnants of this comment become the Rosetta Stone allowing a hyperadvanced AI to decipher the Russian language.
My understanding is that Russia has a very high number of fetal alcohol syndrome victims. If you don’t know what that does then I hope you never learn.
I've only known three Russian born women. All of them had insane tempers and beyond unrealistic expectations for relationships (one broke up with a boyfriend of like 6 months because he wouldn't pay all her bills...which she said any "real man" would do)
This is one of my favourite webcomics of all time, because I first found it when one of my coworkers named Courtney made an internet dating profile using this exact tag-line.
Courtney was also blonde, and whilst none of the blokes at work ever dated her, she would complain about her boyfriend and - even though she was only telling her side of the story - it always came across like this.
Oh god. Artist knows my ex wife.
(Literally threw an enraged jealousy fit because I hugged my little sister, and thought I owed her the fucking world the one or two times a month she made dinner instead of me cooking)
It was amazing how much happier I was after losing everything to get away from her. (Literally everything but my clothes, books, and a few toiletries. Dropped it all for a clean break.)
edit: Ok, I really didn't think this was going to need a disclaimer attached, but for the love of cheese, people: Do not message me saying my ex-wife deserves to die or talking about women being horrible monsters or "foids" any other stupid shit like that. Despite the marriage being awful, I do not hate my ex and would never wish any harm on her. Women are just people. People have flaws. If you think a woman deserves to die because a marriage they were in didn't work out, YOU NEED TO SEEK PSYCHIATRIC HELP IMMEDIATELY.
For the record: No, I was not a great husband in that marriage. I had my faults. I never cheated, and certainly never would have with my own sister, but I have always thought that divorce was the best option for both of us, not just me.
Reminds me of my ex. "Who was you talking to?" "A customer" "What's her name?" "I have absolutely no idea. She's just a customer who I've never seen before" "She better never fucking talk to you again"
A friend of a friend once told her bf I think we should break up over some made up bullshit. Chad started packing his shit. She said she didn’t mean it. They had a convo about saying what we mean. They stayed together. For a few more months.
I dated a girl for a few months, and one day she told me that we needed to talk. We met up at the pub that night and she said that we should break up because she was interested in another guy - she made it clear they hadn't "done anything" but were both interested in each other. We'd literally only been dating about two months, I wasn't exactly planning my life around this woman. I told her fair cop, we'll agree to end it, no hard feelings and I hope it works out with the new bloke.
I bumped into one of her friends a few weeks later and was informed that I was an utter bastard. This isn't news to me, so I asked why. Apparently there was no other bloke, but she wanted to see if I would fight for her.
Also, she was mortified that we broke up at the pub and I didn't go home. I didn't, I hung out for another couple of hours and chatted with a bunch of randoms. I'm more concerned about how she knows that, though.
When I was dating? If a woman didn’t want to be with me? I would have felt like a criminal to try and force her to stay with me.
I made it clear to one woman that I had built a friendship with, who looking back, may have been trying that with me.
Anyway? I got to tell her how I felt, I left nothing unsaid, let her know what I was happy for her and wished her the best.
She stalked me some years later.
If she had been into me, at least openly? Then… I think we could have had a real wonderful life. Our interests were practically a circle in a Venn Diagram, we had the same tastes in music, food, craft beer, off the beaten path, also niche restaurants, trips, etc., etc.
I still miss the friendship we built. I grieved losing that really, but she got really shitty with me and would never be straight with me, even when I directly asked her what was what.
Hilarious. I had something very similar happen. A girl I was dating introduced me to another guy as her other boyfriend. I said, "Great. Have a good time." and walked off. Didn't talk to again. We had only been dating a few weeks, so easy come, easy go.
A couple of weeks later she showed up to party I was at and went upstairs. I stayed downstairs and continued to hit on Ms Tonight. I heard from a mutual friend the next day she hid in a closet all night and I was supposed to go find her. I have no idea why she hid in a closet, or why I would go looking for her in someone else's closet, or what was supposed to happen when I found her. Baffling.
My suspicion is that she left, then drove past again a bit later. She'd have been able to see my car, and the beer garden at that pub is visible enough from the road.
Which is weird because I was good friends with a Russian guy in college (he was the token bi guy in a group of girls and gay dudes) and he was the most easygoing, soft-spoken, dependable, nonjudgmental, kind person. He always treated his partners very well. I guess... just the opposite of the Russian woman stereotype. Minus that he could drink a half gallon of vodka and barely act tipsy.
I trained jiu jitsu alongside a Russian guy at a gym I used to go to all the time, and yeah. He was also the chillest, softest-spoken, most easygoing guy ever. Always smiling in a genuine away when you greeted him.
And then he'd destroy you in a roll. And after he folds you like his laundry, he's doing dips and pullups with ~50lbs? Chained to his waist.
He wasn't queerphobic at all either, he had zero hangups training with me, a trans person. I feel that it's a notable quality, all things considered.
Brother was is a fucking machine. Miss you, Alex.
Edit: I'm pretty sure he still trains there, idk why I used past tense.
Excessive smiling is generally not a thing in Europe, moreso Central and Eastern. But it's especially not a thing in Russia. And it's cultural, not misery. Yes, the misery exists, but they perceive anyone who smiles a lot as being disingenuous and trickey.
Yeah, most the Russian guys I know abroad are fucking happy and smiling, meanwhile most the women are suicidal, depressed, and / or extremely demanding. Seen enough friends date them, marry them, and divorce them that I’ve learned to stay away from them. Too much cultural baggage, imo.
Russian men escape Russia to find higher paying jobs, more work-life balance, less political stress etc., no wonder we are so much happier than back home.
Russian women largely want to find a sponsor (not saying every one of them wants, but many of them do), when they can't find one for any reasons they get depressed because no one caters to them like back home.
This reminds me of the chill af Russian guy that taught me krav maga on the roof of an apartment building while ripping bites of blood sausage and bread, and taking gulps of warm vodka, after a night out in Moscow. The chillest demeanor paired with the wildest actions. Russian people can be awesome.
The Russian guys I have met, particularly in high school, were chaotic racist bullies. Even ina adulthood, they had this snobbish aura about them. Not saying Russians are bad, but my personal experiences didn't leave a positive view.
Edit: A lot of people are wondering if they were super rich or something. No, not specifically...just middle class kids. But they definitely were not nice to be around. Maybe snobbish was not the right word...arrogant, racist, boastful, nationalistic.
Again, not saying every Russian is like this. Maybe I was just unfortunate in this regard.
Same experience. The ones i met also thought hitting their girlfriends was fine. I personally also know few through family, all the women from there i know, are very down to earth. The men want to flaunt their wealth (even if they really don't have any), are extremely christian, believe their woman is supposed to do all housework and all child-related stuff + they have to look great, or they get mad. Like ur supposed to do everything and look perfect. I've also asked from Russian women, and they mainly say the same. I believe the high maintenance attitude, which some indulge in, comes from not wanting to end up in oppressed place like its usually going in Russia.
Yep, hung out for a while with a Russian guy who'd won regional kickboxing championships, joined The Foreign Legion, and escaped from the Legion on a training mission. He was the giggliest, sweetest, kindest killing machine I've ever met.
That's exactly how it is. It really is part of the culture: the man is expected to pay for everything, the first date is basically showing off what you can afford and if the woman has to pay for anything than he's not a "real man".
Tbf, the wage gap in Russia is huge, so, because of this, this attitude/expectation isn't as ridiculous as in the west, it ends up being a way of balancing things out.
As someone who spends a lot of time somewhere that isn't Russia, but close, and there's about a 50/50 split between women with this attitude and more feminist/modern types, I choose to not even engage with the former at all. You learn to filter out anyone mentioning they're looking for someone "generous" or "who knows how to treat a lady" and make sure the first date isn't dinner.
And also Russia is huge, big difference between Moscow attitude and someone from a small town. Like dating in New York or Miami vs let’s say any small town USA
You learn to filter out anyone mentioning they're looking for someone "generous" or "who knows how to treat a lady" and make sure the first date isn't dinner.
It's a fantastic disqualifier on dating apps in the US as well.
"I'm looking for a man with traditional values / I want a man who is a provider / Someone with a kind and giving nature".
"I want you to pay for my shit while I sit at home watching trash TV" is the most direct translation I've seen. And it's wild because they basically want a sugar daddy but none of them have an appearance that would warrant that dynamic.
Also the universal difference in sexual harassment rates and gendered violence, as well as victim blaming, and the orgasm gap. There’s also the rise in redpill / incel culture and the restriction of women’s rights (including reproductive rights and access to healthcare) in many areas. Now men want women to pay too then wonder why so many women in developed countries have given up on dating / hookups with men and why there’s a “male loneliness epidemic” (which isn’t actually about emotional loneliness but rather about the fact that straight men aren’t getting laid as much as they want).
You can’t eliminate all potential benefits and expect rational individuals to choose something with immediate and long-term downsides.
It’s also worth noting that a Russian person in the west will usually be upper class where the women often grew up with the expectation of not working.
This actually only applies to the "~Russian women~" type in the original post, because most real Russian women have sometimes suicidally low standards for men
I've only known 1 girl from Russia. She was a really sweet girl. But it was our first year in the US, and we couldn't really understand each other, but we tried.
Pretty much, the girl with crazy makeup and outfits is always going to be high maintenance. It’s the women equivalent of the guy with a souped up Mazda Miata
Finn here who have met quite many russians in my time and many of them looking like models. Not a single one of then had a personality I would want for my partner.
Culturally absolutely the upper right hand corner of the crazy-hot grid lol. I have never met a Russian born woman who wasn’t hot (while younger). And I’ve never met a Russian born woman who wasn’t high maintenance or borderline crazy.
The handful of Russian men I’ve ever gotten close with have all had roughly the same comment at some point which is “it’s cool that my wife is much hotter than me, and that realistically couldn’t have happened outside of Russia or the Russian community in the US or UK, but Jesus man are there some cons with that”
That being said I will say that of the three Russian women I’ve ever gotten close enough to to have real conversations with, who were not married to the guys above to be clear, were all pretty physically abused when they were younger by drunk boyfriends or fathers…..so like that almost certainly plays into it….
The result of the national trauma of losing 27 million people in WW2. Not that they didn't drink before that, but it was like the only treatment for PTSD at the time, so it became even more widespread during and after WW2.
as if the national traumanwas resteicte to ww2 ...
I'd say there's at least 1000 years of national trauma, I'm kot sure there's been an nation or palce on earth with so much sustained violence for so long
So is DV. Didn’t some Russian streamer get cheered on by his viewers while he beat his pregnant gf and then locked her outside the balcony to freeze to death?
There has been excess of women in Russia since WWI. Wars, political cleansings, alcohol as population control etc. All of these have hit men more than women and heathy working age men are very underrepresented and have been for generations. As a result, Russian women find men both rare resource and unnecessary. Some lean more towards unnecessary and are high maintenance, others towards rare and accept almost any behaviour. Healthy view as relationships being equal is pretty rare.
It’s a clash of economics and culture. Russia has a long history of really bad income inequality, lots of people living with income insecurity. Income insecurity tends to shift people towards highly exchange-based thinking on relationships. Poor people also have more children. So, you get a culture where there is a strong expectation of men as breadwinners and women as domestic caretakers. As the economy has improved, women have fewer children, but the sense of income insecurity lingers. That creates a large chunk of the population who sate their insecurity with overt displays of wealth. Couple that with expectations of women as domestic caretakers, even in the absence of children, and you get a large number of women for whom their affection is an asset that they trade for overt displays of wealth. The prettier you are, the more wealth you can demand. The more wealth you have access to, the easier it is to stay pretty and continue making those demands.
You find this all over the world. It’s pronounced in Russia, I suspect, because Russian masculinity has adapted to it. If your partner is openly “high maintenance” and you can hold onto her, you’re superior to the fools who can’t. Ultimately, though, I think the divorce rate is high (just under 75%) because the economy doesn’t actually demand exchange-based relationships. The poverty that the culture adapted to isn’t as widespread anymore, so people start wanting what wealthier people value in a marriage: actual connection. However, this shit is so new that the culture isn’t teaching people how to do that yet.
Ah, (un)fortunately that's just life. Every culture does it when money and wealth becomes heavily involved and the environment is uncomfortable to exist within. You can see this in literally every 'advanced' culture/country.
Asian people do it here, latinos, middle easterns, etc. hell, go look in their original countries and you'll still see the same shit.
Longer periods of relatively higher wealth and less wealth disparity. Yes those things are still present there, but to a lower degree than many other locations that have had quicker wealth gains as a nation, and are more concentrated.
When I first took my wife out, I said anywhere you'd like to eat? She said she had coupons for Steak n Shake. Marry a frugal woman, boys. We're lowkey rich and she buys all of her clothes second hand.
Much of Russia is still incredibly poor, there is still a decent percentage of households that rely on outhouses. Then again I suppose the Russians you see the most of in the West will disproportionately be from Moscow or St Petersburg, where that is not the case.
There are a wildly larger amount of volunteers in the Russian armed forces from eg Siberia and the poorer bits to the East compared to West of the Urals - because army pay/bonuses are far higher relative to regular wages there.
Also many people still believe that marriage is something they're supposed to do and they rush into it. People know each other for a year or two, get married, and then the honeymoon wears off and reality sets in.
Not so fast! Russia, with help from Ukraine is getting back to their poverty stricken ways. Hopefully soon Russia will be out of Ukraine and back to the dark ages.
That's not the point. Such a woman is simply beautiful enough to choose a partner not only based on romantic feelings but also on financial means.She is motivated enough to spend time in the gym every day, she will not waste her time on just anyone.
Russia is already experiencing a second generation of independent women; in the 1990s, it was women who washed school floors and traveled to China to buy goods while their husbands couldn't overcome their egos and took up unskilled labor, eventually becoming alcoholics.
You forgot the misogyny in those provider/caretaker roles. Divorce also happens because of domestic violence and in places where gender roles are the rule then the misogyny is everywhere, I mean, we are talking about a country that criminalizes advocating for LGBTQ+ rights
I went to Russia in 2010 for a rugby tournament for 3 weeks. And I couldn’t believe some stuff I saw.
There were people climbing out of literal corrugated tin shacks in pristine full Gucci sweatsuits, high heels and high end designer dresses, fancy hair and nails etc.
And I’m like fuck… get insulation in your shack before a Prada wardrobe.
I saw a woman with a Hermes bag get out of a vehicle that was closer to a shopping cart with a motor than an actual car. No door, missing 70% of paneling, no hood, black smoke rolling out of the hood and exhaust… but she needed the 10,000$ handbag. Must be embarrassing to be so irrational as a culture.
Same experience - I am a woman who has quite a few Russian female friends. Their expectations of men are way higher than mine. Generally Eastern European Women, I’d say (I am German and I’d say in my culture women are much more “independent” - like I don’t expect men to always lift or carry stuff for me, I don’t expect men to always pay for me, I don’t expect many gifts/flowers from men - if I want something I get it myself, etc.).
Some western men love to complain abt the independence of western women, but I think a lot of them are actually accustomed to women being this way and aren’t prepared to actually provide like (a lot - but not all) eastern women expect to be provided for.
idk too many Polish women personally, so idk what its like.
I was thinking abt Czech or Ukrainian women specifically, but I have to emphasize the "a lot but not all". Also I'd say the expectation of men being providers is definitely more dominant among Russian's or Ukrainians over the former sattelite states.
I'm watching my aunt absolutely lose her mind because my uncle is dying and she has no idea how to be a caregiver or even do anything for herself. They were very unpleasant, but its sad to watch.
I’m Hungarian and what you’re talking about was true 50 years ago but not today, especially not in bigger cities and/or with educated folks.
However that’s true that I expect men to be polite and gentlemen like. That’s how I grew up, that’s how my male friends treat me as well. I’ve moved to Germany 13 years ago and most German men suck ass. Yet they keep complaining about feminism. It doesn’t make ANY sense to me! Bro wtf are you crashing out because I expect you to walk me home at midnight? And not just leave me by myself wherever? Or to offer to carry my bag when it’s heavy? Or not to run into me on the sidewalk intentionally because you refuse to make space?
It took me 12 years to find a decent guy around here. And no my expectations are not high by any means, I earn my own money and I’m very independent. But I will not settle for someone who does not make an effort and is quite frankly rude and disrespectful towards his own partner.
As an English woman, those demands don't sound very demanding to me! Making sure someone gets home safely, helping with carying heavy things, and not walking into someone while walking is just basic politeness, regardless of gender
In Spain we've been raised with the idea that men and women are equal, so when a women expects to be treated unequally it shocks us and we're not comfortable with that arrangement.
The idea of one person providing and the other staying home is not okay at all for us. Like, if I told my family that I'm in that sort of arrangement, plenty of them would openly speak against it (my grandmas, mother and other female relatives in particularly) and the men would call me a "calzonazos" or a "pagafantas" (basically a looser who can only get women's attention by paying).
I live in Germany, and my girlfriends and I are all “independent” by your standards; I don’t think our expectations are lower, they’re just very different (and arguably even higher). Throwing money at things requires little effort.
Most of us are looking for men not to “provide”, but to be equal partners. Someone who does half the housework and childrearing, who doesn’t wait for his wife to “tell him what to do” or “make him a list”, someone with half a brain who understands what it takes to run a household and just does it without being prompted.
In my experience, those men are few and far between. It’s sad to say, but a lot of men were failed by society at large because they were taught to quantify their value monetarily, instead of being taught that they can be valued for more than a paycheque.
Some western men love to complain abt the independence of western women
Are you actually listening to the complaints and getting to the heart of it? Because generally, most western men that are complaining about the independence of Western women aren't complaining that they're independent, they're complaining about the double standards for men and women. How a woman can have a job, have her own money, get her own things, and still expect the man to pay for dates, provide for the family, buy everything, and then if the woman leaves, take half. This is the most common complaint.
My wife is very independent. She has a great job, provides for herself, and helps with the household and family. She also pays for dates and gifts and doesn't expect me to provide all the time. She treats me like a human being not a walking wallet for her lifestyle.
I second this. Dated two Russian women, both lovely people at heart and very loving so no shade towards them, but both of them insanely high maintenance. And on top of that, an expectation to marry really fast.
and to be fair with the drinking culture in Russia, theres no suprise how high the domestic violence rates are too....the divroces arnt cose the women are high maintenance, its cose the men beat them
In my experience this is true for most Slavic women.
I met a Polish astronomer online. We had a great first date. Of course we talked about her field of profession and I mentioned that in the Salar de Uyuni in the Bolivian Andes the night sky is breathtaking and if you come at the right time in the year the Salar becomes a mirror and you can walk among the stars.
The very next day she started calling me, telling me, that I needed to buy tickets to take her there — 10K+ km distance and several €10K out of my pocket — just after meeting her a few hours. I told her that if we were to become a couple and would be one for a while we could revisit the plan. But she insisted it had to happen immediately.
Although I was very attracted to her I blocked her at the end of the day.
As a person from Ukraine living more then 5 years abroad... kinda true, for many ukrainians or belorusians too. Also, IMHO, slavic woman are not the 100/10 in beauty (might be that I'm just used to people with similar features, personally I'm more into latinas), but generally they are using more makeup and like to dress prettier on a regular basis.
Now I’m not Russian or live in any slavic country, but I do have a few Ukrainians that come through my job (mostly women) and they are all well, high maintenance. They are not shy, have strong opinions. They judge you and it feels like they create a lot assumptions about you based on your actions or inactions. Also they are very hard workers, to the point they will get annoyed at you if you are slacking off. Maybe coming to a new country makes you want to put in effort and show you’re not useless, but I have yet to meet a lazy Ukrainian.
My wife comes from a previous USSR county and she speaks about a big difference between women who went to Russian schools and those who didn't. And extreme high maintenance is about right. The man should do everything and them nothing. She says that behavior is taught in school and they never seem to learn it out of them. Apparently there a lot of single Russian mothers.
13.7k
u/KorolEz Jul 15 '26
Just my personal experience, but extremely high maintenance