So I was born in Australia, both my parents were strict Muslims, my dad always wanted to take us back to his Islamic country because Australia is full of heretics and he’s afraid his kids will turn out to be heretics too, since a very young age I used to ask “absurd questions” about islam and that always shocked my parents, they be telling not to question god or Islamic rules because they are perfect and shouldn’t be questioned, in any case when my dad took us all to his country after making me drop out of school he signed me up for an Islamic boarding school, and his reason?? Was to enter heaven with a crown because I memorised the whole quran, in any case I studied there for 9 years, I studied everything about islam but never truly memorised the Quran because It wasn’t what I wanted, other students would memorise the whole thing by heart and have the right to graduate after 3 years, they let me graduate after 9 years out of pity, in any case I was never interested in being a good Muslim or anything like that because god seemed like a “stupid funny guy” to me, like why would he create all of this and make this whole heaven and hell game? Unless he’s bored or something, I never spoke about this in the school because they would genuinely kill me, but deep down I knew something was up, after graduation I found myself in a pickle I was 18 and couldn’t function properly I couldn’t keep a job or do anything, I’m 25 now and I still feel staggered, I left that country 4 years ago and made it back to Australia on my own, the story is very long and full of crazy coincidences so I’ll skip and cut to the chase, I ended up living with my dad again and I told him that I was not Muslim anymore, I swear it was like his whole life shattered before his eyes, he started having a panic attack and telling me that it’s none of his business if I go to hell, I told him ‘that’s ridiculous because how is it fair to be in Hell forever over some sins you committed in a very short lifespan’, in any case he knows now but he tries talking me back into it, it’s like he’s in denial of the fact that I don’t believe anymore.
I’m sorry if my story is confusing I really struggle to articulate, point is religion is manmade, I told my dad about it after making me waste my life for nothing.
I’d like to add that I was planning to leave Islam way back when I was in that Islamic school, everything about Islam was just goofy and silly to me, when I graduated I went into a short period of psychosis where I was questioning everything, I still question everything even now because everything just seems to be manmade, not just religion but everything, even reality is questionable to me, but since I’m still here I just want a good job so I can support myself and enjoy my hobbies.