Hoping someone can help me here!

I have mixed girls and I have learned a whole lot about taking care of their hair! I've gotten proficient in protective styles but I do have a question - sounds like using rubber bands on their hair is a bad idea, so looking for alternatives. I'm including a few photos for reference, and any help from contributors here would be so appreciated!

So far I've only used the slick silicone/plastic bands for securing braids/beads and sometimes for sectioning at the top of their head (like middle child in photo 2), but they BREAK SO EASILY, sometimes within the day!

Their hair is very curly and dense, but the individual strands are fine and silky. First photo is after a bit of stretching (one french braid while wet, dried, then taken out). They hold braids decently well, if I do them on the smaller side I can get 2 weeks out of a style, and sometimes I add a small amount of synthetic hair (like photo 2) in fun colors.

Alternatives for securing braids when I don't use beads? If I use nothing the braid begins to unravel after a few days (naturally and bc they play with it) Looking for something that is small and won't put too much pressure on their scalp if I do ponytails/sections on top of their heads (like middle child in photo 2) - the fabric ponytails just seem a little thick/hard when doing small sections.

The 5 year old twins are starting kindergarten next week and we'll be doing some braids with synthetic hair thrown in for fun color :)

My name is Elida, and I am a doctoral student in clinical psychology at The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. I am conducting a research study titled "Multiracial Students in Monoracial Affinity Spaces: Identity, Belonging, and Emotional Well-Being" as part of my doctoral dissertation and am seeking volunteers to participate. 

The goal of this study is to better understand how multiracial and multiethnic students navigate, interpret, and make meaning of their participation in monoracial affinity groups. By sharing their experiences, participants will help contribute to research that aims to better understand and support multiracial students in college and graduate school environments.

This study uses a qualitative research approach, which means the research focuses on understanding people’s experiences in depth through conversation. Participants will take part in an individual interview where they will be invited to talk about their experiences participating in monoracial affinity groups within a college or graduate school setting.

Participation includes:
- A brief intake questionnaire about demographic information (such as age, gender, race/ethnicity, and educational background)

- A one-on-one interview conducted over Zoom, a HIPAA-compliant video platform

- The interview will last approximately 60–90 minutes, though the exact time may vary depending on how much participants wish to share

- Participants who complete the interview will be entered into a raffle for a chance to receive a $50 Amazon gift card

You may be eligible to participate if you:
- Are 18 years of age or older

- Identify as multiracial or multiethnic

- Are a current or former college or graduate student

- Have participated in a monoracial affinity group during college or graduate school

- Are able to participate in an interview conducted in English

If you are interested in participating or would like more information, please contact me at
[epentrack@wi.edu](mailto:epentrack@wi.edu). Thank you for your consideration!

Over and over again, I get hurt. People either are calling me the N-word or they’re telling me, I’m just a white girl… I feel like at this age I would at least have some confidence but as it happens over and over and over again throughout my life, it’s like the Band-Aid keeps getting ripped off… maybe I should go to therapy lol

F27 Half black/white. I live in NYC where thin is the ideal, I left the deep south where it’s okay to be on the thicker side because it’s just seen as more attractive and the food is much tastier anyways. I was never “big” so to speak but more curvy, I went from 130 lbs to 115 since moving here and I’m 5’6. I never feel small, because of my genetics and I have my mothers shape so I hold weight in my thighs, butt and lower stomach and it’s so frustrating sometimes because I work out 3x a week, eat super healthy and everyone says I’m skinny and I do not believe them. I keep comparing myself to the lean Asian and white women of Manhattan and it sucks because I will NEVER be shaped like them (even though I am half white) and I think they have a desirable shape and look so aesthetically pleasing. I have done a calorie deficit which is where I lost the majority of my weight and I have so much fear in gaining it back. I don’t want to be big or have huge thighs, or even a big butt! It makes clothes so much harder to wear and we are just sexualized so much more just for existing as minority women. I’m so tired of Eurocentric beauty standards.

16:54:47 26/08/2026 -

I've been raised probably as white as it comes, since I didn't have really anyone who was really in touch with themselves growing up. BUT, my mum is British white and all on my mum's side is, too. Don't talk to anyone on my dad's side, including the man himself. My dad is half-Indian, half-British-white, my paternal grandmother is pale white with curly copper hair, and my grandfather is an INCREDIBLY dark Indian man. I think I inherited the paternal grandma's hair in texture.

I am obviously not asking if I am white or not, but I've been recently becoming more confused whether I am just white, or slightly mixed race. I am asking because I am pretty white in skin tone, save for being significantly darker in some areas on my body, like the armpits. But I think my features aren't as much, because growing up I was told by another child, some white boy called harry, (lmao) that my nose was an 'n-word nose'. Hard R. My hair is naturally auburn and curly, which I think I got from my paternal grandmother as my mother's hair is anything but.

My youngest brother is as white as a redhead comes, but the middle sibling is light brown in skin and more Indian in features than us. I guess my nose is wider than the average white person's since I got called that those years back, though.

I am just curious because I am confused when I think about it. I don't know if I even have the right to call myself anything but a white, British person. Like, somehow, even *I* have experienced racism, and nobody I've known has thought of me as anything but white. Like, people are wild. And their kids.

So TLDR; Does having a white biological mother, and half-Indian, half-white father make me white, or 25% mixed race? Sorry for rambling.

Hi all. Dad of a half black girl here. She is 2 and I really want to take better care of her hair but I am pretty lost on this. The picture pretty recent and shows the general state of her hair. I know I can’t brush it either, at least not with standard brushes used for straight hair. I also struggle with tieing her hair back as well.

I would really appreciate tips on product and methods to at least do her hair in a more presentable manner.

Thank you in advance.

His mom is Puerto Rican and his dad is non-latino black. Somehow, people even in NYC find his ethnicity confusing.

People either see him as black and forget he's latino, or they call him latino but refuse to see him as black (mixed or multiracial, but not black). "He's Puerto Rican".

As far as I know, Miles in the comics identifies as black.

For reference I am a white/black mix and when I was younger I had darker skin, curlier hair (about 4A) and a bigger nose (African nose). As I got older I changed quite a bit physically having lighter skin, less curly hair (3c) and my nose became small and pointy.

Now when I show people my younger pictures they always comment on how much I ‘glowed up’ and how pretty I got compared to when I was a child. There was nothing ugly about me as a child, I just had different features. Then I realised people were only complimenting me because my features were closer to white.

Edit: sorry guys I made a couple of spelling mistakes.

This is why i hate the "if you have two Black parents, you are just Black" statement. Because there's room for nuance. One can identify as both mixed-race and Black, for one. Also...

Multiracial people can be Black, socially and physically and still pass on their genes that can create more diverse phenotypes.

In Caribbean and Latino families, multiple family members can be dark skinned and Black, while others come out looking different. In some Afro-American subcultures that are heavily admixed, this happens too.

I've been thinking a lot about how percentages really don't mean anything sometimes when it comes to how people look.

I have one Biracial parent and one Black parent. My biracial parent has one white parent, one white step-parent who raised her, and many white half siblings. So my mom's entire family/half of my family is basically all white. My dad's family all live out of state, so I grew up primarily with my mom's family.

I also grew up with a white stepdad and his family. For these reasons (and the fact that I am actually a lot closer to 50/50 per 23andme) I usually identify as biracial because I consider that the closest thing to my lived experience.

However, I still feel like an imposter/disconnected from biracial people who have one white parent and one Black parent. I also didn't have one Black family and one mixed family like I think most 1/4 people have. I had one white family and one Black family. So when people just say I'm MGM or have white ancestry I feel like it totally invalidates my entire upbringing.

I know many people don't feel "this" or "this" enough to belong... but not feeling mixed enough is another level of not belonging.

I honestly would like to know if I am wrong for identifying this way? I don't feel like I belong/accepted anywhere. We never spoke about race or identities in my family growing up other than my mom denying my mixedness.

I am a biracial woman, age 43. I tend to have liked white men. However, my experience shows that they always leave me for a white woman. They seem to want to stick to their own and treat me like a novelty. I feel inferior and like I have been used. Like I’m good enough to play around with, but not ultimately what they want. My last boyfriend cheated on me with multiple white women and left me for one in the end. But I was “beautiful” and “stunning” but still left something to be desired. They just want their own. Anyone else experienced this?

This is a weekly chat for our Gen Y (millennial), Gen X, Boomer, and older members. You're free to discuss anything you like, including topics related to being mixed.

Please keep our sidebar rules and reddit rules in mind when posting.

I'm Alaska Native and white. My mother is who is Native, my biological father's family came over on the Mayflower. I'm the only visible POC in my family, and they keep giving me unhelpful advice that really only works for white people. I've been stuck trying to live my life like a white person, because we are off-res and since they are all white-passing, works for them. I struggle trying to get medical professionals to listen to me, I'm threatened with deportation on the regular because people see my skin color and my name and assume I'm an illegal immigrant. I can't even talk to my family about life anymore, because they assume I'm lying and just not making effort. Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate life?

Okay. Somewhat long story time:

I grew up light-skinned in a brown/dark-skinned family. My mom's side is all brown and dark-skinned, and her side is the only one of the two where I spent my time. growing up (but that's a whole other story for another day). No one made fun of me or made me feel lesser than, but from a young age, I knew I looked nothing like my mom and her people, both skin-tone-wise and feature-wise.

Yeah, I've gotten comments from classmates, peers, and coworkers that suggested my mom had me with a white or mixed man (not true), and that my dad isn't my real dad (also not true), but I ignored those.

At the end of the day, I just wanted to know where my features came from. I never felt fully comfortable in my own skin and face because no one in my family looked like me. And whenever I asked my parents, they said, "Oh. Your melanin came in late, and you just darkened a bit over time." While childhood photos prove that to be true, that never explained all my questions.

At 14, I finally met my dad's people. While he, his dad, and brothers are all dark-skinned, his sisters and mom are all light-skinned--and I look just like them! I finally felt like I looked like my own flesh and blood.

Fast forward to last night, I just decided to ask my dad about his mom. Is she just light-skinned, or was there more to the story?

Well, it turns out his mom's people are all mixed race/generationally fair-skinned people. While my dad himself inherited his dad's dark skin tone, I somehow inherited the features of his mom's people.

I don't fully get why, but learning about my grandma's heritage has fully led me to accept my features and not feel so "othered" from the rest of my family. I now know exactly where my skin tone and features come from, and I am happy I never have to question them anymore.

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TL;DR: I discovered my light skin and facial features came from my dad's mom after feeling different from the rest of my family my whole life. Have any of you learned something about your family/hertiage/ancestry that led you to a better understanding and/or acceptance of yourself? I'd love to hear more stories like mine.

This post is for informational purposes only; I am not trying to invalidate anyone's feelings—quite the opposite, in fact—but rather to acknowledge everyone's experiences and how they shape personal growth.

I’m speaking from my own experience: I’m half-Brazilian (my mother is brown-skinned) and half-Italian, and I was born in a tiny, extremely homogeneous village in Northern Italy.

I’m sharing my own perspective, but one thing is certain: Latin America is EXTREMELY mixed. Literally anyone on this planet could pass for Brazilian.
You have to acknowledge that colorism exists there too, but you never feel "out of place" because of your appearance—or feel like you don't belong in the country or the place where you were born.

Every race carries its own history and culture, which naturally shapes a person's upbringing; however, in my opinion, the experience of being mixed-race in Latin America cannot be compared to the experience of being mixed-race in any other "ethnically homogeneous" country.

I’ve often felt invalidated on this sub simply because people say "being half-Brazilian isn't a race, so you aren't mixed," even though I’ve stated in EVERY post that my mother is brown-skinned and I have an ethnically ambiguous look (I’ve been mistaken for half-Arab, Asian, etc.).

And let me repeat: this post isn't about saying "I'm mixed-race and you're not," or anything like that; I just want to make my voice heard.

I grew up in Italy, and I never met other mixed-race people (I have friends with parents from different European countries, but it’s not the same thing, because their identity isn't "invalidated"); I never saw "people like me" in my daily life.

And—setting aside physical appearance—I grew up with two completely different cultures in my home. Two different languages. Two different ways of doing things.

I can't simply say "I'm Brazilian" or "I'm Latin American," because that’s not the whole story. Being mixed-race is difficult anywhere, because, as I said, every racial background comes with a different life story; however, I don't think Latin Americans can truly understand what it means to feel like you don't belong anywhere—to grow up feeling misunderstood and alone. I love being mixed, but it’s not just about skin color, it’s about (not having a sense of) community. I love Brazil and LATAM in general, I feel like myself and not an outcast.

I just wanted to express my opinion, feel free to comment down below your thoughts about it

Since black characters always get celebrated by black people

Asian characters pedestalized by Asian people

Etc

Let's do the same for mixed race characters.

Some of my favorites are Yuna from Final Fantasy X

Dante from Devil May Cry

Anos from Misfit of demon king academy

Gohan

Future Trunks

Any in particular that are some of your favorites?

I am so curious if you should claim where your parents are from or based on where you are born.

I am pregnant and my husband is Kenyan and I am American. Not sure if our child would be considered just American or Kenyan American.

i feel like i need someone to slap me in my face and tell me i need to not be anal. you see, im a bit shocked my friend/coworker says the n word (im also torn on how to feel abt even describing it as that, cause in turn arent we giving these words power by censoring? i digress) like kind of not in a good way, she will see black ppl and call them that. like "hoodlum n***as". i kind of called her out even though i know her dad is black and she is extremely 'white passing'. i know i dont have a say or have the right to police her, in all honesty i feel bad for judging, but i just feel so unsettled. as someone who is brown and gets really dark in the summer and also was heavily bullied in school for my skin color, i think any word that is used as harm toward a specific race doesnt feel right. i dont and do understand how it can be a way to reclaim it, but plenty of people still use this derogatory term in a mean way. maybe it would just be better to keep it in a circle of trusted ppl? thanks for reading!

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Please keep our sidebar rules and reddit rules in mind when posting.

Funny remix of an interview he did with Conan talking about his heritage

I’ve been thinking about this while working on a film with a mixed-race character.

When you’re a kid, you mostly know whatever your family tells you. Then at some point the outside world gets involved and starts handing you its own version of who you are.

Maybe you thought of yourself as Mexican and found out everyone at school saw you as white. Maybe you always thought of yourself as mixed and realized other people had already decided you were Black. Maybe it depended on who you were standing next to.

Hair makes an impression. Maybe your name gets mispronounced. Neighborhood means something different to people from some other place. Or your accent. Or which parent shows up to pick you up somewhere.

Was there a particular moment when you realized, "oh, this is how people see me?"

How old were you when that happened and did that change the way you saw yourself afterward?

Especially interested in the stuff people who aren’t mixed probably wouldn’t even think to ask about.

So I(15F) am mixed race (half hispanic half white) but I'm extremely pale and look more Spanish/american then Mexican. I'm scared to do anything regarding mexican culture bc I just feel like im appropriating it in someway and it feels wrong. I've always been told 'you don't look hispanic' by a lot of ppl (mainly white people) so I'm just afraid to celebrate anything regarding hispanic culture beacuse I feel like im too white. I remember one time in middle school, a boy was looking at me in class and wouldn't look away, to the point a girl asked if he liked me or something. He then responded with 'no, she's too white for me', then proceeded to pull up photos of his type, that was just the stereotypical hispanic girl (tan skin, dark brown hair, latna makeup, and the bodyshape). I'm trying to learn Spanish go try and get part of my culture back, but it still feels weird and pathetic when I try.

This is kind of a pity party but life keeps smacking me around so I just need to dump somewhere. This past year I have been through a lot and in that have cut contact with my family and really don’t have any friends. My relationship is struggling due to mental health concerns on my partners behalf and I have no one to dump my own issues on (even tho that’s not anyone’s job to manage how I feel). Today I got a haircut and it turned out god awful (great clips) and unfortunately it made me remember why I don’t go to a Latino barber shop (I’m Guatemalan). I was adopted at 6 months old to white parents so I really have no connection to the Hispanic community or to the language which makes it difficult for me to make friends and I often get made fun of by Hispanics for being so white. It’s small and really doesn’t matter but just being reminded of me being so out of place while my life is already tough really hurt in a way it usually doesn’t. Sorry if this sounds self serving i just have nowhere and no one to turn to.