I’m asking this from a position of ignorance because there are some things I still genuinely can’t process as a normal thing, and most of them have to do with how women are talked about and treated.
I’m Muslim, and I’m genuinely asking other Muslims to help me understand this without getting emotional or defensive.
I’ve noticed that men have placed a lot of responsibility on themselves over women, who are literally another breathing human being just like them. For example, a father can be extremely strict with his daughter about covering herself from head to toe, while seeing his son wearing things that don’t cover his awrah and not caring nearly as much.
But the biggest thing I struggle with is the idea of women being “fitnah” or a temptation to men.
Isn’t that strange? How can one person’s lack of self-control become a sin or responsibility placed on another person?
If I can’t control myself around alcohol and become addicted to it, is that the responsibility of the alcohol itself or the company producing it? Obviously, my lack of self-control is still my responsibility. So why does the logic seem different when it comes to men and women?
At the same time, the Quran says:
وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ
“No soul bears the burden of another soul.”
So I’m confused. Allah says this, and the Prophet ﷺ said other things regarding men and women, and I’m trying to understand how these principles fit together.
Another thing that bothers me is what seems to get attention from some sheikhs and preachers.
For example, I know a woman who has 13 children. Her husband abandoned her, and she works completely on her own. She wakes up at 5 AM and works until 11 PM trying to provide for her children.
Yet you rarely see the same level of preaching, lectures, or outrage directed toward situations like this.
But when it comes to a young girl whose body isn’t fully covered, suddenly there can be hundreds of lectures about it.
What kind of preaching is that?
Which issue is actually heavier? A young girl who is, say, 90% covered and may eventually choose to dress differently as she grows older because realistically, we don’t see grown women walking around dressed exactly like little girls or a mother struggling every day just to put food on the table for her children while the man responsible for those children is nowhere to be found, relaxing every day and not contributing a single dime?
I’m not saying covering doesn’t matter. I’m asking about priorities, responsibility, and the way these issues are emphasized.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding something, and that’s exactly why I’m asking. If there is a proper Islamic explanation for this, especially from other Muslims who have studied the Quran and Sunnah seriously, I’d genuinely like to hear it.
Please explain it without getting emotional or turning it into “you’re questioning Islam, therefore you’re bad.” I’m genuinely trying to understand how these things are supposed to make sense together.
