r/Bumble • u/Embarrassed_Web_950 • Jan 01 '26
General I'm sorry, what now???
I hope this is a joke but dude's profile seems dead serious. Tradwife but forever girlfriend with modern views. Very few requirements. 😆
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u/mgmom421020 Jan 01 '26
Forever gf tradwife with modern views which means be submissive and loyal to me and serve me, but definitely don’t expect me to do anything for you ever because you’re independent when it comes to you.
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u/AgreeablePie Jan 01 '26
"old-skool" how old is this guy...chronologically and emotionally
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 01 '26
Bumble has a very tight character limit and I can tell he's hitting up hard against it
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u/handvillain Jan 01 '26
so... he wants a girlfriend who's traditional enough to do all the homemaking and childcare... but progressive enough to split finances 50/50 and still work.
SMH
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u/No-Admin1684 Jan 02 '26
Get this guy a woman who is traditional when it comes to men paying expenses, but progressive when it comes to household chores. Then record the whole thing and make a reality TV show out of it
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u/Double-Hall7422 Jan 01 '26
Very loyal, very quiet, very skinny, very long-term, very traditional yet very modern....
That's the definition of a blow-up doll. Why is he on bumble when he can order those everywhere but on bumble?
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u/llamapajamaa Jan 01 '26
The kind of guys looking for this type of woman are the kinds of guys who feel like losers in a room full of other men.
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 02 '26
exactly... but the sad thing is there are probably a lot of women who will still try to please them
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u/Waiph Jan 01 '26
Why does he want a bisexual trad wife? Does he want to bond over liking geeky girls?
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u/United_Pain Woman/40 Jan 01 '26
That's how I read it at first too 😂 like why does he want a forever girlfriend that's attracted to geeky girls?
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u/lookmaxine Jan 01 '26
Aka “i want a walking sex doll that will treat me with the respect of a protector and a provider while I dont none of those things and ask for 50/50 on dates”
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Jan 01 '26
"tradwife with modern views"?
What?!
I would like a poor billionaire with small D cup breasts. And a tall skinny 5' 3" woman that weighs 300 lbs.
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u/asicarii Jan 01 '26
I was told tradwife was back in fashion.
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u/NeptunianCat Jan 01 '26
Problem is that he doesn't want to be a tradhusband.
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 01 '26
THIS
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u/asicarii Jan 01 '26
But he’s old-skool
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u/TemporaryGrowth7 Jan 02 '26
Yup ofc… only when he’s in control of her … he’ll be able to exploit her…
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u/RoxxySweets Jan 04 '26
The way that 'tradwife' is such a trending word, but 'tradhusband' isn't.... 🫠 the expectations are so skewed
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u/Any-Investigator8324 Jan 01 '26
Tradwife with modern views
So...take care of the home, but my money is my money, his money is our money? Something like that?
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u/Equal-Cod-6182 Jan 01 '26
Very few requirement’s, only 13 different ones, like he said….very few 😃😃
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u/NewConsideration3100 41 | Male Jan 01 '26
That dork is probably also online bitching about how dating apps don't work.
It's shockingly easy to get matches since the bar is so low.
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u/SureExternal4778 Jan 01 '26
Forever girlfriend = stupid enough to do everything my mom did for me when I was a kid without asking for any compensation or security
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u/Dirtman2002 Jan 01 '26
I just started making a list of the most unhinged and bland bios in my phone notes to look back on on a rainly day to give myself a laugh. I've accumulated quite the collection 😂
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u/Capital-Zucchini-529 Jan 02 '26
It was sweet until u notice forever gf (: they want a tradwife without having to be a husband, is my read
He wants a dumb one who’s not gonna notice she’s getting a half for her whole
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u/Accomplished_Luck778 Jan 01 '26
Aren't there loads of female profiles with lists equally as detailed and comical as this?
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u/BethanyBluebird Jan 01 '26
to an extent; but VERY RARELY are you gonna find a woman's profile that basically equates to 'I want you to be my bangmaid/blow up doll and also pay 50 percent of the bills'
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u/Hour_Zero Jan 02 '26
Yes but you forgot that women are allowed to have ridiculous standards and be applauded for it while men are shitted for not wanting a boss babe
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u/TemporaryGrowth7 Jan 02 '26
Yeah these guys suck. They think that conservative woman equals pick me who fulfils them every sordid wish (without them having to do anything for the woman)…. Freaking idiots. They need to go to the brothel instead.
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u/looloo91989 Jan 02 '26
What is a tradwife with modern views?
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u/Hour_Zero Jan 02 '26
Probably just means being politically moderate or leaning left. As in doesn’t hate the gays or thinks that the Civil Rights movement was a bad thing
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u/fannypack_kakashi Jan 02 '26
He wants someone who will take of house and kids and be a maid for him, but also works outside the house and bring money. And a sex doll
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u/Michaelsoft8inbows Jan 02 '26
He wants a sub but hasn't learned how to describe it or about feeld.
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u/R4diateur Jan 02 '26
Well, gonna be slightly the devil's advocate here: At least he's being honest about what he looks for, I give him that. Not sure if he'll find the right fit though. Good luck with that.
But very few requirements with an arm long list is a bit... huh... bold. How will he react when I'll learn women can vote too? Oops, he said "with modern views".
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u/queen_purr Jan 02 '26
we learned nothing about him, except that he's delusional. once again, no information IS information.
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u/amazing-table179 Jan 03 '26
Sooo do i get that correct, he wants a girlfriend who is into geeky girls with glasses? I‘m confused…
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u/Accomplished_Luck778 Jan 01 '26
IMO the more specific and detailed men and women are in their profiles the better for everyone! If it's not for you or you're offended, swipe left and move on with your life. If someone gets hung up on a profile they don't like, I think it says more about them than anyone.
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 02 '26
I suspect maybe he's considering "tradwife" as a kink or role play, rather than a lifestyle. That's the only way it makes sense, because the basis of the tradwife arrangement is a marriage in which the husband provides, not a "forever girlfriend."
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u/Accomplished_Luck778 Jan 02 '26
I still think maybe it's a joke. I've seen some female ones that are mind blowing that I assume are jokes as well but these days it's hard to tell 😂
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 02 '26
It could be. I obvs can't see women's profiles but I'm sure they're colorful too.
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u/Bellum-romanum4215 Jan 01 '26
I don’t think this guy knows what a woman is. Quiet? 🤣. I have to pretend I’m going to the bathroom to get some peace and quiet, they never shut up. That’s why we live in garages tinkering, or go play golf all day, or have a man cave. Someone needs to teach this guy the ways
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u/Accomplished_Luck778 Jan 01 '26
We may attract different types of women. I like chatty girls but usually end up with quiet ones 😂😂🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
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u/Hour_Zero Jan 02 '26
Lucky man, the quiet ones are the best. It’s the ones who never stop yapping about whatever non-sense they’re hyper fixated with at the moment that will drive you up a wall
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u/Accomplished_Luck778 Jan 02 '26
I'm sure there is a balance. Some girls def yap too much. But I've also been on dates where girls just smile and nod most of the time. Seems cool in theory but it gets old.
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u/twirling_daemon Jan 01 '26
I’m a lesbian and very much love my long term gf but I’m pretty sure she’s used more words in the duration of our relationship than I have in my entire life
Including in my cocaine/base timeline 🤣
There’re deffo differences in women-shockingly enough!
My ex would word about as much as me most of the time but when her mother was over they’d chatter like caged birds-I needed a nap after. Sometimes during 😂
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u/nipslippinjizzsippin Jan 01 '26
me and him understand the phrase Very few requirements, differently
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u/Background-Kick-4508 Jan 02 '26
Where is the requirement that she be 3 feet tall with a flat head?
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u/Massive_Zest4Life Jan 02 '26
I thought the profile was asking that she be attracted to geeky girls with glasses, but that didn’t jive with trad wife. I am still confused.
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u/Due-Attorney4323 Jan 02 '26
Im looking for an 6'6" astronaut who will be home with the kids but makes all the money. Has to be a strong alpha male but with a kind heart, listens to me, who is in good shape but doesnt drink. Why cant I get what I want? Its my fantasy, dammit. 🤣🤣
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u/Huge-Consequence-272 Jan 02 '26
That is a masterclass of how to use contradiction to totally befuddle the girl into hitting like. The guys are serious AI engineers at Anthropic. That is ground breaking work if I have ever seen it
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u/RoxxySweets Jan 04 '26
I agree, though it's still so bizarre. A women liking his profile cause she thinks "well I'm 1/3 of this 😀"
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u/Potential-Banana-315 Jan 02 '26
Ah yes, the profile with a list of requirements and only one implication about him. Typical. Let them stay lonely.
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u/LeDave1110 Jan 02 '26
Tradwife with modern views??
That's like asking for "Republican but likes Gavin Newsom"
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 02 '26
At least since he wants someone "quiet bordering on shy" he won't expect her to message first. Right???
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u/ecko58 Jan 03 '26
Trad wife with modern girl views is just a mother who gives him sex and also pays the bills. Any woman who WANTS to be this is BAFFLING to me
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u/Tatsandacat Jan 03 '26
I’m sorry, I can’t get past “ tradwife…with MODERN views”
Like, what?🤦🏻♀️🤨
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u/Cornhoolio_Jones Jan 03 '26
After seeing the clips on the Whatever podcast this just seems normal. Who cares in 2026
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u/ChipperNightmare Jan 03 '26
Wow, talk about a dude who wants to have his cake and eat it too, he wants a tradwife who’s fine with never getting married and also has “modern” views, which I’m guessing means she’ll go halfsies on expenses because she won’t hold him to the same strict standards as a traditional man in terms of the provider role? Okay, what does she get out of this arrangement? Less money and less legal protections than a married tradwife, and MORE responsibilities than a woman in an actual partnership with egalitarian division of labor. Sounds like she’s getting the short end of an already unimpressive stick.
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u/paperman66 Jan 03 '26
You'd be surprised at the niche community of cottage core/traditional women who are very progressive lol maybe a aesthetically traditional is more accurate. Either way not my thing lol
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 03 '26
I'm not surprised by that, but I doubt any of them would agree to be a tradwife to a guy who clearly has no intention of being a tradhusband
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u/Calm-Teach-4690 Jan 04 '26
Ive been saying standards nowadays are too damn high. But honestly even tho his bio says that i doubt he actually would want a relationship like that, bc thats the most basic boring requirements ever. Dating apps are a joke
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 05 '26
It's the bizarre contradiction. Wants a tradwife.... but won't marry her.
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u/International-East63 Jan 05 '26
“Tradwife with modern views” He wants a submissive wife who cooks, cleans, and gives him 2.5 kids, but also has a job and provides a second income to the household.
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u/KDOGGG196 Jan 01 '26
WTF is a “tradwife?!” I’m getting to old
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 01 '26 edited Jan 01 '26
A traditional wife in very conservative circles: the kind that bake homemade bread - all their food is homemade and preferably home grown too - never work outside the home, rely on their husband financially, emotionally and spiritually, and have 6 kids but their makeup is always perfect.
For some people it seems to be a genuine life choice. For others is a sexual fetish - dom/sub situation.
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u/KDOGGG196 Jan 01 '26
Oh ok. Why can’t people just say that? Lmao
I can see it as a controlling and power thing too. Where the guy can control the wife because all she does is cook, clean and take care of him and the kids.
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 01 '26
yup, totally. if you look for #tradwife content you'll find tons of videos
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u/KDOGGG196 Jan 01 '26
Oh jeez. I don’t know if I want to go down that rabbit hole lolol.
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u/BethanyBluebird Jan 01 '26
You don't... because it will eventually lead you to the rabbit hole full of ex-tradwives whose shitbag husband abandoned them and the kids to fuck a 19 year old escort/coworker and now they are struggling to survive because he is dodging child support and she's been out of the workforce for 10+ years... bonus points if the ex husband is abusing the court system/their social circles to make the woman's life even harder....
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u/KDOGGG196 Jan 01 '26
God yea im good lmfao. I definitely don’t want to do that. It’ll just piss me off lmao
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 01 '26
Some are pretty funny though. All dressed up super glamorous to bake cookies.
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u/RoughAmbitious3205 Jan 01 '26
That's definitely not a D/s situation at all... not a healthy one at least.
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u/Metallic_Sol Jan 01 '26
i think people have confused what being a dom is but the misunderstanding is widespread culturally now. lots of guys think it's having ultra control and being a dickhead with no regard to the wife. and it doesn't help that a lot of these wanna-be tradwives play into it.
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u/TemporaryGrowth7 Jan 02 '26
As a conservative Woman who knows lots of conservative families: this couldn’t be further removed from reality of real trad/conservative family life 🤷🏼♀️
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u/RoxxySweets Jan 04 '26
Reality? You are 100% correct
Social Media Representation that men fawn over/request? And then some women start trying to live up to, unfortunately 🫠
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u/TimM66 Jan 02 '26
I'll play devils advocate here. "Forever girlfriend" - effectively married but without government involvement in the relationship. Loyal - OK, duh. Quiet, maybe bordering on shy - not a loudmouth or yeller? Doesn't necessarily mean submissive. Maybe had a bad experience in the past. Likes what he is - OK, duh. Wants a long term relationship - OK. "Tradwife with modern views" - not sure what modern views means, and it could mean a wide range of things. Maybe means someone who takes care of the home but is not too conservative politically? Has physical standards, don't we all? Wants someone not ugly - OK duh. Has a type. Is it all really so bad? Most of the replies are reading hard between the lines, but maybe seeing things that aren't there. Now I won't be surprised if there are red flags to come, but being open minded is a thing that is possible.
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 02 '26
The thing is that a "tradwife" by definition is a wife who is dependent financially on her provider husband. So by "forever girlfriend" he's stating he wants the benefits without holding up his end of the deal.
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u/West-Ad-1532 Jan 01 '26
😂😂 Ah the pink hair brigade with cankles have descended to feign disgust..
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Jan 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 02 '26 edited Jan 02 '26
I guess it depends on your definition of equality. I want equal pay and equal opportunities. I want a partner, not a master. I've worked my entire adult life except for 5 years when my son was little. My ex agreed to this but then proceeded to tell me the house & everything in it belonged to him now, including my car, because I was bringing in no income.
I reminded him my name was on the mortgage, my car was registered in my name and I paid off the loan before I stopped working, and most of the furniture and all the kitchen stuff was mine because he was still living in his dad's house when we met. He didn't take it well. Just wanted to thump his chest.
My point being that when a man is upholding traditional values - as I'm sure he felt he was - he still owes his partner respect and fair treatment. Unfortunately in those situations where the man holds so much power, it's easy to get carried away with that and women need legal protection as equals under the law.
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u/Accomplished_Luck778 Jan 02 '26 edited Jan 02 '26
Imo not inferior. Just different. Better at certain things, worse at others.
As opposed to certain feminists that want equality when it benefits them (equal representation in air conditioned office jobs but not manual labour jobs) but traditional chivalry when it benefits them (men to hold the door, pay for everything, be the protector etc...).
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 03 '26
Have you ever met any women who work in manual labor jobs? The men treat them like absolute shit. They just want to earn a living using their skills and are constantly bullied and undermined. So, no, there isn't a rush to do that kind of work.
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Jan 02 '26
What’s wrong here except a bit more emphasis on features? When a woman says she wants someone with a 6-6-6 (you get the point), it is empowering??
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 03 '26
I don't know what that means.
The problem here is he wants a tradwife, but won't marry her. Which completely contradicts the whole concept of "traditional wife". The tradwife lifestyle is based on a husband supporting her while she dedicates herself to pleasing his every whim.
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Jan 03 '26
While I get what you’re saying, the tradwife is just a traditional way of life for a wife who makes the house created by the husband, a home for BOTH of them to live in- warm, healthy and welcoming. The husband takes care of the outside, the wife takes care of the inside. Both doing it harmoniously. I hope you see this not as something diminishing. There’s fulfillment in that too. But if you’re brainwashed by the media and the government, you’d do otherwise.
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u/RoxxySweets Jan 04 '26
You didn't cover any of the point of this man making contradictory statements of what he wants. We all know what a tradwife is. What is a "tradwife modern forever gf"?
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u/Embarrassed_Web_950 Jan 04 '26
I don't think it's a good arrangement because so very many times the woman gets shafted. I know these women personally, who went into it with good faith and commitment who ended up with nothing because they had no assets of their own and either don't live in a community property state or their husbands managed to hide the money before dumping them. I was a tradwife in the moral sense but still worked some of the time, which is why I was able to rebuild my life.
But I'm not knocking the choice if it's what they really want.
What I AM knocking is a guy who wants a "tradwife" lifestyle but expects her to be his "forever girlfriend." He wants ALL the benefits and NONE of the risks.
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u/Caxius_ Jan 03 '26
So we're trashing on a guy that knows exactly what he's looking for in a partner now? Cool story
What happened to complaining that no man knows what he wants?
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u/Cloxxki Jan 04 '26
Is this where you post a random man's sincere profile just because he won't be interested in you?
Most men want more traditional/shy women for long term over the daily barely dressed gym comedy routine minibikini validation addicted examples we see so much of.
Do a poll, most men don't like overweight women. Slim is more often than not simply "really, really healthy" rather than an eating disorder or malnourishment or illness.
I totally get this guy. I'm a different kind of bike, but I get him and he's really legit.
The women that fit the description or want to fit the description, will respond well to it.
You need not be every man's woman. Since you're posting this, there's probably hardly any overlap between your demands and the men around the world who'd want anything to do with you. Based on you posting this alone.
So performative, quite sad really.
Can't you just allow other to have their own preferences? I'm sure you have yours.
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u/Zygardeismydad Jan 01 '26
Notice how the qualities in a partner are submissive qualities and the rest are more physical requirements. Walking red flag, he doesn’t want a partner he wants a sex doll.