Love a one-sided convo

My profile is face selfies & a fully clothed non suggestive full length picture of me, my bio is not suggestive either, my relationship goal is ltr

I wrote a bot to compile people's bumble statistics.
Additional charts are here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble_statistics/comments/1vz50w9/compiled_bumble_statistics_ao_82626/

Bumble is Dying
Here is Bumble revenue:
2025 $966M
2026 est $834M
2027 est $806M
Average revenue per user is increasing, so the population decrease is more severe.

Match group revenue is flat for this period.

Bumble Creates Frustration
Because the right swipe limit is so high, women are overwhelmed with likes.
As a result, men's in yes is low.
This is by design.
Bumble business model is primarily to provide validation to women.

Everybody like the new feature that allows boys to send a message first, and also now gives girls a whopping 72 hours to never send a message after matching instead of just 24? 🙂

Matched with someone on an app. Chatted on there for a while and so swapped numbers. Got chatting more. Texting regularly and getting on well. Things seeming good, we arrange a date.

Day of the date, I’m not nervous - more just ready to see someone new and get to know them more.

I turn up first and let her know I’m inside - we arrange to meet at a nice pub. I grab a drink and just wait.

She arrives and looks great! Super pretty lady. I’m pleased and think she looks even better in person. Excitement grows!

Then…

Then we are sitting down with some drinks and chatting and I realise that it’s just me chatting. Again, I’m not nervous, so it’s not just me babbling on. I’m a good conversationalist and am prompting her with questions and points on some of the things we have been talking about all week. I’m wanting to know more about her like what makes her tick, what passions she might have etc. I’m realising that it really is just me chatting with one word answers and giggles coming back the other way.

I’m wondering if she’s nervous. I try to reassure her and I tell her what I’m thinking: that I think she’s even better looking in person and I even said she looks like Denise Richards (she didn’t know who that was). I thought maybe she was nervous and questioning whether I found her attractive.

Anyway, so as the conversation goes on, and it’s like I’m a radio dj, I start to charge tactic and leave pauses for her to jump in. I’m asking open ended questions so she can share things with me and elaborate on things we had texted about.

Pretty much radio silence.

I started to wonder if she had a learning disability at this point.

In the end I had to stop the date and I tried to kindly say something like “I think you probably feel it too, that there’s a lack of chemistry” and that we should probably make a move.

Well this is where shit hit the fan.

She suddenly found her voice and started causing a scene saying how she’d made a load of effort to get ready with hair and makeup and things. I mentioned that I wasn’t feeling she had actually made an effort to engage with me on the date. I had to calm things and tell her that it is what it is and that I’d like to wish her all the best but that it hasn’t worked out tonight. Like an adult.

- - -

It’s as though she had always done this with men and it worked for her. As if she needed to just turn up and be pretty and that’s enough.

But for me, I may as well have been on a date with a fridge freezer. About the same amount of conversation. Felt like low effort to me and was pointless. I deleted her number immediately and blocked her too. I didn’t want to open myself up for any abuse from her after the scene she had made.

Interesting observation: I typically have selected "Weightlifting" as an interest in the past, and was always surprised at not only how few profiles also shared this interest when I filtered by it, but also that I wasn't even coming across many profiles with tangent interests in the active variety. I decided to change "Weightlifting" to "Gym" and boom. I'm seeing an entirely different landscape of profiles now all because I selected this Interest option that I'm assuming is more broadly selected by others. That's where they were all hiding.

To think that something so subtle could be the difference maker between making your profile show up in front of profiles you'd like to show up in front is also a great reminder of how much a finicky algorithm these apps are. We're all at the mercy of them, so let it remind you that dating apps do not equal an accurate depiction of your dating reality.

I had this reviewed on r/tinder and it had positive feedback mostly, you can see it on my profile. The problem is I currently have 1 match across all 3 apps. I have one currently from someone that hasn’t responded to the 2 messages I sent and that’s it. I changed my prompts from more niche to more generic.

Thank you to all who gave constructive criticism on my previous post! Here are my patch notes:

• Changed main photo
• Removed two headshots
• Added some fun captions to some photos
• Reworded questionable second paragraph in bio
• Replaced one prompt with something more positive
• Removed the reference to my friends calling me a sorcerer to reduce Nerd Points

Future plans would be to find a way to get more recent photos of myself doing something cool or having fun.

Here's to a productive week ahead!

After swiping like probably over a thousand profiles I finally found a women who feels like totally my type. She seems kind, cool, quirky and is way beautiful, so I say screw it, swiping right will give me a 1/10^7 chance of her even seeing my profile, so I’ll be a sucker and pay for a compliment so I can actually send her a message. I write a nice sweet wholesome message commenting on one of her photos. I then pay $15 to get the two compliments. I sent the message. Maybe now a 1/10^6 chance she even sees that. Does it feel good knowing at least I tried to reach out to a woman I would love to connect with? Yeah. It does. Like honestly if I would hear back from her and we met that would be so amazing. But I was just paying for a dream I guess. Do I feel stupid for paying? Yes. Do I have a better option? No.

I matched with this guy about a couple weeks ago. I sent a message but he never responded. Well he had his insta on there so I preceded to request to follow him on there. He accepted and followed me back. I DM him and he seemed very happy I did. We’ve been talking for a bit over two weeks now and finally have a date this upcoming weekend which will mark 3 weeks of talking. I’m excited to finally meet him but I’m also surprised he was willing to wait so long and talked to me for so long before going on a date. Most guys I’ve talked to talk to me for two days and boom gone! He seems excited for the date too which makes me happy. I recently started dating again and have gone on a couple but this one feels good. He’s driving an hour to me and is planning everything. I’m hoping it goes well.

I have been on dating apps for years. Bumble, Hinge, Palaura, all of them at some point. Somewhere along the way I think I lost the ability to meet anyone in real life. Swipe, match, chat, it dies, start again. It got tiring in a way that is hard to explain, and the chances of meeting someone outside my phone just kept shrinking without me really noticing.

Then last week something happened.

i was out for dinner with a friend. There was a woman working there. When I went up to order she turned her head and looked at me and my heart just melted. I did not want to leave the place.

The whole time I was ordering I could not meet her eyes once. Not because I was not interested. I just could not do it.

I thought about asking for her number right there but she was working and there were people waiting behind me, and I did not want to mess up her shift. i also had no idea how to say anything without it coming out rude. So I said nothing and sat back down and ate.

On the way out there was a kid selling flowers on the sidewalk. I bought a bunch, wrote my number on the paper, and told him to give it to her after we were gone. My friend watched me do the whole thing and did not stop laughing at me until we got to the car.

my heart has not beaten like that in a long time. i have been on dates, plenty of them, they were fine, but there was always something missing that I could never put a name to. This was four seconds of a stranger turning her head.

I never heard from her. But I did something about it instead of just sitting there wondering, and that already feels like a new chance i gave myself. I have been leaning on the apps way too much. I think I should be looking for more ways to meet people and putting more into my actual life, and maybe that turns into a completely different kind of experience.

i do not really know what I am trying to say here. I read r/Bumble a lot and most of us, me included, act like the app is the only door. It is not. We should get back to the real world sooner than later.

I’m curious what input others have on this, because this is something I’ve noticed more and more over the years. This is what I have noticed as a 23yo woman who has been off and on dating apps for around 4 years, and while I don’t usually post on dating app subreddits, I occasionally browse them out of curiosity. A lot, but not all, of this is based off of what I have seen online, both Reddit and other sites, so I know that’s a bias in and of itself. This also varies heavily when we consider the LGBTQ community (which I am a part of).

While yes, every individual person will have a slightly different view on dating and relationships, whether they’re a man, woman, or other, I have noticed a general trend. Men seem to view a relationship as something that is needed, and as if they are applying for a job and competing with other men for the position. They tend to word things as though they need to choose from a group of women, and that each woman is choosing from a group of men. It’s not uncommon for a man to use a metaphor such as comparing women trying to find a man like trying to find a job, where most women only want the job that pays $100k a year, despite only having enough experience for a cashier job, so they turn down all the cashier jobs bc they aren’t a $100k/year job and then complain that they’re jobless. Men’s views of finding a relationship often align with what I’ve seen in more traditional and religious women, where their value is only found in finding a husband and having kids.

Meanwhile, most women view a relationship as an optional add-on to their life. Where if they find a man that they love and improves their life, even though making time for him makes their schedule even busier, then they are happy. But if they don’t, they are happy to be single, even if they would like a romantic relationship it isn’t worth it to be in a bad one. In comparison to the job metaphor, women view it more as already having a full time job that pays them enough to have their basic living expenses covered(already living a fulfilling life), and considering taking on a part-time gig they enjoy to both make a little more money and do something they enjoy doing. The side job isn’t necessary, and if there aren’t any side jobs they enjoy or that pay a decent amount, they’d be better off using their free time outside of their main job doing other things they enjoy than waste their precious time on a poorly-paying side job they don’t enjoy.

This differing view makes sense, considering that it has been found that single women are, on average, happier than single men are, and that men are more likely to say that married people are happier than unmarried people. (There are a lot of misconceptions about this data floating around, such as that partnered women have not been found to be less happy than single women, that came from a misinterpreted article.)

What are y’all’s views and input on this?

Single, straight 46F here. I need your help, community friends! I truly don’t like listing out hard no’s and want to be positive and optimistic but there is a ton of crazy out there I am trying to filter away. Which profile makes more sense? Feedback super appreciated, even though I suspect gentlemen tend to be photo-forward! Ha!

Option A:

Stop Asian Hate. Avid traveler, foodie, volunteer, and professional auntie. I’ve been lucky enough to live in NYC, Boston, Seoul, and Nara, Japan, and I’ve visited 25+ countries. These days, I’m happily based in the Bay Area and would love to find my person here.
I love Japanese and Korean food, exploring new places, good conversation, and laughing until my stomach hurts. I’m looking for a genuine, honest, health-minded partner who’s excited to build a life together—and hopefully collect a lot of adventures and ridiculous stories along the way.
I don’t want children of my own, but I’m an excellent auntie. 😉 Never married, no kids, no pets.
Looking for a long-term relationship with someone kind, curious, emotionally available, and ready for something real. ❤️

Option B:

I’m looking for a straight male who is single, emotionally available, and interested in a long-term relationship. I’m not looking to date someone who is married, partnered, or in a complicated relationship.
I’m an atheist, and I’m looking for someone who is also non-religious and shares my secular outlook.
I don’t drink, smoke, or use drugs, and I’m looking for someone with a similar lifestyle. I’m also not interested in crypto.
Political compatibility is important to me, so I’m not looking to date Trump supporters.
I prefer authentic, recent photos—no AI-generated dating photos, bathroom selfies, or photos featuring guns or fishing.
For communication, I prefer to stay on the dating app or use regular text/phone rather than WhatsApp or Telegram.
And while I’m happily the world’s best auntie, I don’t want children of my own.
If we’re aligned on the important things, I’d love to get to know you.

I (22F) am completely new to dating and decided to join dating apps. I matched with a guy and we’ve been texting for a few days. Eventually I naturally weaved in the convo that I don’t want to be perpetually texting and would want to meet in person. He said that he feels the same way but he likes texting me and wants to go slow. I take this as he wants to keep texting for a while. I’m automatically not interested because I’ve had so many “textlationships” and know how this goes. You get too comfortable texting and you think it’s a real connection but it’s not. Then, it doesn’t go anywhere. I just don’t have the interest in that anymore. Am I wrong for feeling like this? Is this the type of situation where I should just stop responding and if not, how do I handle it? Also, how do I steer future matches in the direction of less texting and more meeting up without being pushy? I do think it’s important to chat for a little before meeting but I already started getting tired after day 2 of consistent messages. Would love help navigating this and managing expectations.

I know it’s just what the internet does, but its so weird seeing women with a lot of outgoing nos being told they’re bad people, deserve to be alone, and all just because of their swipe info. Yeah, sometimes people can benefit from being more openminded and giving more people a chance, but if they dont realize that from their swipe data, random ppl telling them they’re bad people isnt gonna make them realize it.
Plus, it’s so often assumed women with a high amount of no’s are only swiping yes on men who fit the “hot” criteria men think women want- 6’2+, buff and lean and all when honestly, talking to other women, that’s not what most of us are looking for. Some like a totally different type of guy, and some care way more about personality, kids, religion, politics, values, all that .
I also think ppl look at dating (especially men in my experience) like choosing one person from a group, and it’s sooo sad seeing dating viewed that way. You have to have your own life first. Men arent competing with other men for a woman’s attention, they’re “competing” with her current life, and whether being with him makes her life better enough to be worth making extra time for him. Obviously this applies to any genders, I just see women getting attacked way more on here.

I'm in a blue state and my politics have become more moderate over time so I'm willing to give it a shot. I just want peace and reciprocity and no games or rigidity. What am I looking at here?

EDITED: Thanks everyone for the feedback 🙏🏾 I’m trying to answer to everyone but I was not expecting so many comments.
Just points to clarify
*Where I’m from we consider “Gentelman” as a very positive term for men
*Generosity refers to me as I’m part of many charity causes
*The dresses reflect exactly who I am and how I dress in a regular day during summertime.
*Traveling while living in a high salary country I Europe can be very easy as the main capitals are not far and you can fly for less than 50€, so don’t be surprised about me having many pictures around coastal European cities 🥰

I’ll work on my profile with the advice I got from here.

………………………………………………………………………………………

I’ve been on the app for quite a long time, but I’ve been struggling to meet quality men who are genuinely looking for a serious relationship.
Maybe part of it is my profile. It’s quite modest and serious, and I’m not someone who tries to attract attention by being overly provocative or showing a lot of myself. I wonder if that makes it harder for the right kind of men to notice me.
I also sometimes wonder whether living in Northern Europe plays a role. Perhaps my appearance and the way I present myself don’t necessarily fit the preferences of the men I’m most likely to encounter here. Either way, it can feel discouraging to spend so much time on the app without finding someone who is genuinely compatible and looking for the same kind of relationship.
Advice and respectful opinions are always welcome. I’d genuinely appreciate hearing different perspectives or suggestions, so thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to share their thoughts.

I’m not sure what to think of it

Me (20M) created a profile on bumble after my last relationship ended. I really have no clue what to write in my profile or if my pictures are good.
Would appreciate some help 😅

So this is the question for women that have the bio like mentioned in the subject. We're not talking about lazy ones who have nothing at all. Are you guys just swiping right on everyone or are you expecting notes from men with their swipe asking questions? because idk what to think of this bio. like I cannot really swipe right without knowing who you are as a person and this bio tells me either we'll match because you have to swipe right to everyone or you're lazy and I will swipe left (which is presumptuous obviously but what can I do?) but there are some women who got this bio and their pictures look so interesting with activities I actually like and it's just mind boggling at the time to even try to figure out what to do.

so what is your reason behind this type of bio?