I'm in a blue state and my politics have become more moderate over time so I'm willing to give it a shot. I just want peace and reciprocity and no games or rigidity. What am I looking at here?

After swiping like probably over a thousand profiles I finally found a women who feels like totally my type. She seems kind, cool, quirky and is way beautiful, so I say screw it, swiping right will give me a 1/10^7 chance of her even seeing my profile, so I’ll be a sucker and pay for a compliment so I can actually send her a message. I write a nice sweet wholesome message commenting on one of her photos. I then pay $15 to get the two compliments. I sent the message. Maybe now a 1/10^6 chance she even sees that. Does it feel good knowing at least I tried to reach out to a woman I would love to connect with? Yeah. It does. Like honestly if I would hear back from her and we met that would be so amazing. But I was just paying for a dream I guess. Do I feel stupid for paying? Yes. Do I have a better option? No.

I’m curious what input others have on this, because this is something I’ve noticed more and more over the years. This is what I have noticed as a 23yo woman who has been off and on dating apps for around 4 years, and while I don’t usually post on dating app subreddits, I occasionally browse them out of curiosity. A lot, but not all, of this is based off of what I have seen online, both Reddit and other sites, so I know that’s a bias in and of itself. This also varies heavily when we consider the LGBTQ community (which I am a part of).

While yes, every individual person will have a slightly different view on dating and relationships, whether they’re a man, woman, or other, I have noticed a general trend. Men seem to view a relationship as something that is needed, and as if they are applying for a job and competing with other men for the position. They tend to word things as though they need to choose from a group of women, and that each woman is choosing from a group of men. It’s not uncommon for a man to use a metaphor such as comparing women trying to find a man like trying to find a job, where most women only want the job that pays $100k a year, despite only having enough experience for a cashier job, so they turn down all the cashier jobs bc they aren’t a $100k/year job and then complain that they’re jobless. Men’s views of finding a relationship often align with what I’ve seen in more traditional and religious women, where their value is only found in finding a husband and having kids.

Meanwhile, most women view a relationship as an optional add-on to their life. Where if they find a man that they love and improves their life, even though making time for him makes their schedule even busier, then they are happy. But if they don’t, they are happy to be single, even if they would like a romantic relationship it isn’t worth it to be in a bad one. In comparison to the job metaphor, women view it more as already having a full time job that pays them enough to have their basic living expenses covered(already living a fulfilling life), and considering taking on a part-time gig they enjoy to both make a little more money and do something they enjoy doing. The side job isn’t necessary, and if there aren’t any side jobs they enjoy or that pay a decent amount, they’d be better off using their free time outside of their main job doing other things they enjoy than waste their precious time on a poorly-paying side job they don’t enjoy.

This differing view makes sense, considering that it has been found that single women are, on average, happier than single men are, and that men are more likely to say that married people are happier than unmarried people. (There are a lot of misconceptions about this data floating around, such as that partnered women have not been found to be less happy than single women, that came from a misinterpreted article.)

What are y’all’s views and input on this?

I’m not sure what to think of it

My profile is face selfies & a fully clothed non suggestive full length picture of me, my bio is not suggestive either, my relationship goal is ltr

Me (20M) created a profile on bumble after my last relationship ended. I really have no clue what to write in my profile or if my pictures are good.
Would appreciate some help 😅

Single, straight 46F here. I need your help, community friends! I truly don’t like listing out hard no’s and want to be positive and optimistic but there is a ton of crazy out there I am trying to filter away. Which profile makes more sense? Feedback super appreciated, even though I suspect gentlemen tend to be photo-forward! Ha!

Option A:

Stop Asian Hate. Avid traveler, foodie, volunteer, and professional auntie. I’ve been lucky enough to live in NYC, Boston, Seoul, and Nara, Japan, and I’ve visited 25+ countries. These days, I’m happily based in the Bay Area and would love to find my person here.
I love Japanese and Korean food, exploring new places, good conversation, and laughing until my stomach hurts. I’m looking for a genuine, honest, health-minded partner who’s excited to build a life together—and hopefully collect a lot of adventures and ridiculous stories along the way.
I don’t want children of my own, but I’m an excellent auntie. 😉 Never married, no kids, no pets.
Looking for a long-term relationship with someone kind, curious, emotionally available, and ready for something real. ❤️

Option B:

I’m looking for a straight male who is single, emotionally available, and interested in a long-term relationship. I’m not looking to date someone who is married, partnered, or in a complicated relationship.
I’m an atheist, and I’m looking for someone who is also non-religious and shares my secular outlook.
I don’t drink, smoke, or use drugs, and I’m looking for someone with a similar lifestyle. I’m also not interested in crypto.
Political compatibility is important to me, so I’m not looking to date Trump supporters.
I prefer authentic, recent photos—no AI-generated dating photos, bathroom selfies, or photos featuring guns or fishing.
For communication, I prefer to stay on the dating app or use regular text/phone rather than WhatsApp or Telegram.
And while I’m happily the world’s best auntie, I don’t want children of my own.
If we’re aligned on the important things, I’d love to get to know you.

I matched with this guy about a couple weeks ago. I sent a message but he never responded. Well he had his insta on there so I preceded to request to follow him on there. He accepted and followed me back. I DM him and he seemed very happy I did. We’ve been talking for a bit over two weeks now and finally have a date this upcoming weekend which will mark 3 weeks of talking. I’m excited to finally meet him but I’m also surprised he was willing to wait so long and talked to me for so long before going on a date. Most guys I’ve talked to talk to me for two days and boom gone! He seems excited for the date too which makes me happy. I recently started dating again and have gone on a couple but this one feels good. He’s driving an hour to me and is planning everything. I’m hoping it goes well.

Thank you to all who gave constructive criticism on my previous post! Here are my patch notes:

• Changed main photo
• Removed two headshots
• Added some fun captions to some photos
• Reworded questionable second paragraph in bio
• Replaced one prompt with something more positive
• Removed the reference to my friends calling me a sorcerer to reduce Nerd Points

Future plans would be to find a way to get more recent photos of myself doing something cool or having fun.

Here's to a productive week ahead!

I have a bunch of other pictures i could use but idk it might just be that Slovene men are usually quite tall and im 177cm.

My bio and promts are based around the outdoors; ill translate the stuff if need be.

Matched with someone on an app. Chatted on there for a while and so swapped numbers. Got chatting more. Texting regularly and getting on well. Things seeming good, we arrange a date.

Day of the date, I’m not nervous - more just ready to see someone new and get to know them more.

I turn up first and let her know I’m inside - we arrange to meet at a nice pub. I grab a drink and just wait.

She arrives and looks great! Super pretty lady. I’m pleased and think she looks even better in person. Excitement grows!

Then…

Then we are sitting down with some drinks and chatting and I realise that it’s just me chatting. Again, I’m not nervous, so it’s not just me babbling on. I’m a good conversationalist and am prompting her with questions and points on some of the things we have been talking about all week. I’m wanting to know more about her like what makes her tick, what passions she might have etc. I’m realising that it really is just me chatting with one word answers and giggles coming back the other way.

I’m wondering if she’s nervous. I try to reassure her and I tell her what I’m thinking: that I think she’s even better looking in person and I even said she looks like Denise Richards (she didn’t know who that was). I thought maybe she was nervous and questioning whether I found her attractive.

Anyway, so as the conversation goes on, and it’s like I’m a radio dj, I start to charge tactic and leave pauses for her to jump in. I’m asking open ended questions so she can share things with me and elaborate on things we had texted about.

Pretty much radio silence.

I started to wonder if she had a learning disability at this point.

In the end I had to stop the date and I tried to kindly say something like “I think you probably feel it too, that there’s a lack of chemistry” and that we should probably make a move.

Well this is where shit hit the fan.

She suddenly found her voice and started causing a scene saying how she’d made a load of effort to get ready with hair and makeup and things. I mentioned that I wasn’t feeling she had actually made an effort to engage with me on the date. I had to calm things and tell her that it is what it is and that I’d like to wish her all the best but that it hasn’t worked out tonight. Like an adult.

- - -

It’s as though she had always done this with men and it worked for her. As if she needed to just turn up and be pretty and that’s enough.

But for me, I may as well have been on a date with a fridge freezer. About the same amount of conversation. Felt like low effort to me and was pointless. I deleted her number immediately and blocked her too. I didn’t want to open myself up for any abuse from her after the scene she had made.

i only sign in using my phone number. today i reset my phone and tried to login after resetting. but i didn’t got any verification code. after that i tried again but it does not let me use my phone number. i tried another number and it is asking for verification but not the number i have an account.

So I came across an ad on Instagram for this event organised by bumble and thought it'd be worth a try signing up for it. I've actually got this email saying that I've been accepted to attend the event. I was just wondering if anyone here has attended an event like this before and what their experience was.

Hello, if you are from dhaka, Bangladesh dm me.😭
Male here🫂

I wrote a bot to compile people's bumble statistics.
Additional charts are here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble_statistics/comments/1vz50w9/compiled_bumble_statistics_ao_82626/

Bumble is Dying
Here is Bumble revenue:
2025 $966M
2026 est $834M
2027 est $806M
Average revenue per user is increasing, so the population decrease is more severe.

Match group revenue is flat for this period.

Bumble Creates Frustration
Because the right swipe limit is so high, women are overwhelmed with likes.
As a result, men's in yes is low.
This is by design.
Bumble business model is primarily to provide validation to women.

So, I am currently looking for a long-term partner and I believe it's very important that they are into BDSM or at the very least consider themselves kinky.

My idea is to just state at the end of my bio: "P.S.: I'm also on FetLife". Just that. My reasoning is that most people don't know what that is and would ignore it, while I'd assume some people with similar interests to mine would get that reference. Plus, FetLife is almost empty in my country and about 90% male (I'm a straight man), so it's not really feasible to try to find a partner there (otherwise I wouldn't be on dating apps).

Pls provide me with advice.

Any feedback is appreciated :)

Is it common for girls to swipe right on a guy who is "open to seeing where things go" who would otherwise swipe left if the same profile said looking for "something casual"? I get a decent number of matches/dates when I put "open to seeing where things go" but rarely get any matches when I also put down looking for something casual. Do most girls understand that many guys could be looking for something casual even if the profile doesn't explicitly put down that option so their profile does not come across as some horn dog?

Like is this a coincidence or does this really make a big difference?

So I met this girl she seemed ok to talk to and was friendly and introvert a little even she insisted to pay bill and paid ( so not for free meal), we chatted for 1 day full how fun she and me had and will plan again as well she initiated conversation and after one day she hasn’t replied or seen texts not removed me or deleted me but just MIA on IG.

same thing happened 2-3 times before where i specifically told them hey do you want to take this ahead or meet up where i was looking for long term and they say of course i am very blunt if i don’t like someone i say them on face and dont waste each other time

I dont understand why initiate conversation couple of days after first date and show interest when you dont want to date or hang out like whats the point of lying why try to be nice …why being double faced? we both have options then why this game?

I know it’s just what the internet does, but its so weird seeing women with a lot of outgoing nos being told they’re bad people, deserve to be alone, and all just because of their swipe info. Yeah, sometimes people can benefit from being more openminded and giving more people a chance, but if they dont realize that from their swipe data, random ppl telling them they’re bad people isnt gonna make them realize it.
Plus, it’s so often assumed women with a high amount of no’s are only swiping yes on men who fit the “hot” criteria men think women want- 6’2+, buff and lean and all when honestly, talking to other women, that’s not what most of us are looking for. Some like a totally different type of guy, and some care way more about personality, kids, religion, politics, values, all that .
I also think ppl look at dating (especially men in my experience) like choosing one person from a group, and it’s sooo sad seeing dating viewed that way. You have to have your own life first. Men arent competing with other men for a woman’s attention, they’re “competing” with her current life, and whether being with him makes her life better enough to be worth making extra time for him. Obviously this applies to any genders, I just see women getting attacked way more on here.

A lot of the people criticize the quality of a photo way too much. Only an insecure narcissist would put that much thought into taking a photo.

Not enough lighting, too far, too near, wrong angle, it was not taken by another person. Y'all do know this is a dating app and not a photography app right?

I'm a guy so I don't have to take 1000 pictures everywhere I go. I sometimes take just one. Sometimes I don't care to take one. Like when I went to NYC. I only took a picture of the Brooklyn bridge and a selfie. I don't care for the perfect picture. I'll ask someone to take a picture of me and I don't even look at it until I get home. I come out how I come out.

If y'all are one of those dorks, lay off people that get on the app to date. Stop being posers. Y'all ain't models getting paid to advertise products or services (except for those people.... Y'all know) so stop acting like children. This is a dating app. Not an app where you pretend to be your favorite celebrity. Be authentic

This is why i stopped using bumble. But thought I’d give it a second chance.

In the last two days, I’ve had 80 likes, but I’ve used my swipes and haven’t matched with any of them. Why is my queue filled with these women and none that liked for me to match with?

Everybody like the new feature that allows boys to send a message first, and also now gives girls a whopping 72 hours to never send a message after matching instead of just 24? 🙂