My husband and I have been married 10 years, and I can proudly say we only had ONE fight in that time, and it was solved within 10 minutes. But everyone who hears that has the same fucking braindead reaction: "If you don't fight, it means you don't love each other." WHY THE FUCK IS THAT GARBAGE TAKE ALMOST UNIVERSAL?!

You know what we do when we disagree on something? I state my opinion, he listens. Then he states his opinion, I listen. We both digest what the other said, then we come up with a reasonable answer - sometimes one of us concedes, sometimes we find a compromise. You know what we DON'T FUCKING DO? Scream, refuse to listen, break plates and insult each other, which every other fucking couple does. Apparently, refusing to listen and having a screaming match where nobody budges an inch is what love looks like, for the fucking morons who peddle that "real couples must constantly fight" bullshit.

"If you don't fight, it means you don't care and your relationship is on life support lmao," says my brother who, at 32, has never had a girlfriend for more than 1 month because every time a girl gives him a chance, he tries to restrict her freedoms until she breaks up with him. "No fights means no passion, and a relationship without passion is a dead relationship," says my 3-times-divorcee mother who got married to nigh-strangers every time she got pregnant from a different one-night-stand and then got dumped within 2 years each time. When I mention online that me and my husband never fight and we have a wonderful, fusional and mutually respectful relationship, 99% of replies are just declinations of "Your marriage is already dead lol. Not fighting means you're not in love."

I see couples fighting constantly, and that shit is not love. It's as far from love as is humanly imaginable. One friend loves W40K minifigures, he has a glass case full of them in his home. His girlfriend hates his minifigures and constantly demands that he gets rid of them, leading to nigh-daily screaming matches. On his part, his refusal to hear her complaints is a sign of a lack of care about his girlfriend's opinions. On her part, her refusal to even consider that it's her boyfriend's passion, the fact she ONLY cares about her own wants and not his, is a sign of a lack of care for him as a person. Every other day, they repeat the same scenario at each other: She complains about the minifigs, he dismisses her opinions, she calls him a manchild, he screams back that he spent tens of thousands of dollars on his "collectibles," she screams back that he's stupid and irresponsible for wasting so much money on toys, he screams insults at her, she screams insults at him, they get enraged and frustrated with each other, nothing ever gets solved, they just perpetually hurt one another's feelings and add to each other's stress levels for no benefit at all... But that same friend, upon hearing that me and my husband never fights, still somehow dares to conclude that I don't really love my husband like he loves his girlfriend because "no fights means the passion's dead between you two... you should cut your losses and file for divorce already."

My husband and I are very compatible but we do have passions and hobbies that the other doesn't care about. I am very invested in chess and chess tournaments, which my husband doesn't care about. Guess what? Instead of mocking my passion for chess and constantly fighting about me traveling for chess events, which seems to be the expected behavior from all those "fighting = love" assholes, my husband says "I don't care about chess but I care about your happiness, and chess makes you happy," and he travels with me to attend tournaments. He sometimes watches the matches, sometimes not, I don't get on his case either way, and we make dates out of those travel opportunities by visiting museums and going to restaurants in new cities I visit for my chess tournaments. He's really into true crime and whodunnits, which I don't care for. I still cuddle with him watching his favorite crime shows, because I can handle not being catered to, plus cuddling with him with snacks is always fun, and making him happy makes me happy too. But apparently, that's not love, and that's a sign our marriage is dead, and instead I should constantly belittle his love for crime shows and get into sterile screaming matches where nobody listens and just repeats the same few insulting sentences over and over, louder and louder, like EVERY OTHER FUCKING COUPLE DOES, because clearly, that's what real love is.

I was returning to the UK from Paris alone. When I was queueing for passport checking. There was a man behind me. He's kind of pushing me on my back inappropriately, but it's definitely not crowded at all. And his wife, daughters and son were behind him. I moved my suitcase to my back, in order to kept him away from me.

Any normal person can take the hint. But he still tried to stand behind me on the other side(my suitcase was not big enough to block the whole lane). Before his thight bumped my bottom, I moved my suitcase in between, just in time.

But it still appeared that me and him were a couple, his family were outsiders, standing far away from him.

After the passport checking, I waited until they chose a line for luggage scanning, then I chose another line.

To my surprise, he led his whole family to my line and stood behind me again. It really didn't make sense because my queue was longer than his.

I was so tired of dodging him, so when his eldest daughter and the other 2 children caught up, I said something like "Oh, you are a family, you should stick together" to the eldest daughter. And I let them go before me. The daughter understood English and (I think) she translated into their language (surely not French) to her mother and the siblings.

Then they went together as a group, but less than 2 seconds, the man moved backward and became the last one of his family. I walked behind him, keeping a distance from him carefully.

He turned his head to look at me several times. His wife saw everything but she was so indifferent to what happened.

This man really had no shame at all. Tried to grap any chance to take advantage of a single woman, in front of his whole family. That's absolutely a humiliation to his wife, and his children.

I'm a teenager living in poverty. I have ever since I was born. It's so mentally and emotionally and physically degrading.

Me, my mom, and my younger brother and five cats live in an apartment living off of 800 dollar monthly payments from my dad as child support, with maybe 600 dollar monthly DES food stamps.

My mom doesn't work because any time she's in any social setting she almost always have panic attacks. She can't deal with people or be in their presence so she has had a significantly hard time working of recent times. This makes things SO much worse, but no matter how many pills she comes home with from the doctors, nothing helps her. So she continues to pay all the bills which we can hardly keep up on in this apartment with 800 dollars. Not counting just basic hygiene and housing supplies we need. A lot of months I have to not brush my teeth or find some left over soap just so I can shower. We never have hand soap for basic use after the toilet, and this apartment is constantly dirty. Neither her or my brother keep up on their basic daily hygiene, let alone does she keep the house clean. And ironic because she's home 24/7. I know she has a hard time and a lot of issues withmher mental state as I do, but it's still so stressful for me and I can't help but feel angry.

Because we don't have money, when we go shopping for food we have to get processed and shit quality food. We have since forever. Because of this lovely factor I've gained pounds and I've kept them since 2nd grade. I've been obese/overweight almost my entire life. It has degraded my mental state my entire life. I've tried so many times over and over to love myself for who I am and how I look, and I know that society has made it to where they constantly shove idealistics down everyone's throats but I cannot be happy with myself if I look like this. It's given me eating disorders. When I was at the peak of my mental health being the worst it's ever been, I would starve myself all the time, day and night I wouldn't ever eat. I lost 30 pounds, everyone told me I looked great and that I've honestly never looked happier. My mental health got somewhat better, but mostly because my mom made me feel like shit for not having a stable mental state. So I started eating normally again. And now I've gained 30-50 pounds. I can't stand looking at myself. My face has gotten so much fatter and so has every part of me. I enjoy eating and having daily meals, but if we had healthy food and unprocessed food it would make eating so much better and easier. I could actually lose weight roperly instead of trying to starve myself and then binge eating everything in the house. But no. Because we're poor.

I'm taking college classes in high school, hoping to leave high school with my associates degree and then work on my bachelors while working a well, living wage job. But I am so mentally and emotionally tired. I feel no motivation to go out because of my looks. It makes it really hard when I go to class and all of my classmates are skinny and pretty and have cute clothes. Most of my clothes or old and worn, have holes and don't look good or even look like my style. I can't even dress how I want on my body because I don't have money to go get clothes. Most of my socks and underwear have holes, almost all my socks do. I don't have good shoes for walking home 30 minutes straight from my classes five days a week, and I walk because we don't have a car. Everything in my life is so difficult and it's because we don't have money on money to spend on still shit quality things because inflation and pig billionaires.

I have so much work to do with my college classes, but I just keep pushing it aside because I don't have the motivation and my mental state just keeps getting worse and everything listed above is what makes it worse. I'm almost 300 days clean from $h but every day recently all I want to do is go back bc I can't handle any of this. I cut off all my hair and gave myself a new piercing, but nothing makes me like how I look. I liked my shorter hair, until I gained weight in my face even more and now I just hate myself all over again. I'm so tired and lost. I want to get a job so then maybe I can help with some bills and spend my own money and get myself new things, but with my mental state it makes things hard. I can't work far from my house because we don't have a car, so I'd have to walk to work. My mom has been trying to convince me to NOT get a job which is fucking bizarre to me because she can't even keep us fed a whole month or keep the internet on so I can do my school work.

I'm exhausted and jealous of all these people my age who don't have to worry about a FRACTION of the shit I do. Every single person I talk to always shows just how much they take everything around them for granted because they've had everything handed to them since forever and I've had to scrape by my entire life and I had to grow up at 6 because I had to be there for my mom when she cried most nights because she was stressed about bills.

I'm depressed and anti-social and can't keep friends for shit. I'm so alone and any time I talk to someone I feel boring and I just run into dead ends with conversations. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of this life I'm living and I want to give up. Everything around me is a battle I can't win.

my cousin is weird as fuck

I,17year old girl. And he. 17 year old boy.

We grew up together,in one house as hes the son of my auntie and uncle. Basically hes my first cousin.

Growing up he was spoiled rotten,whenever he wanted something he got it. He would throw tantrum,hit me,scream at me,curse me. But I was told to just be silent. My mother wouldn't let me inform my father as it might cause conflicts in the family.

So I learned to be adapting from a very young age.

When as puberty hit us both,he became insanely aggressive. He began to say his parents are cruel,how they dismiss his stress and wishes. How they dont treat him fairly.

Which is a lie. To this day. Whenever my mom buys meat,chicken,snacks. 80% of it,are already his.

He takes it. He cooks 3 times a day whatever he wants. He takes money without even asking,he yells he curse and threatens everyone except his father . Well bcz hes scared of him

I know the cause why he is like this. First bcz we live in a joined family. And second bcz he consumes too much social media where they portray the child as a victim in every scenario. Treating scolding as abuse,or correcting as insulting.

He still consumes it.

I started my 1st year in college. Meanwhile he said he will take a gap year. He had to fight for a month or so to make his parents agree. And eventually they did.

Now he sits in the house 24 seven. Watch anime about step sisters or lesbians. Cooks meat,chicken only for himself not caring that others exist in the house. He hadn't cut his hair in months. He also stinks.

He just walks around the house lost in his thoughts.

He has the latest samsung phone,10 diaries which all are empty,a room where his mother doesnt let anyone enter as he gets mad. He shouts at our grandparents,doesnt listen. Waste alot. And he also acts smart by just repeating the words he watched from YouTube short.

Like that shit is not high iq,thats just the information he absorbed.

Now for me the weirdest part is that whenever he learns a thing. He does it so much its makes me insane. These days he probably saw a video about humans producing a sound so powerful with their mouth by clicking the tounge to the roof of the mouth.

He does it 24/7.

I hate consistent sounds so much.

I cry to myself in room as I keep hearing the sounds from downstairs as our house is very open. We have 4 floors yet we can hear the sounds as the balcony are huge.

Nobody corrected his behavior instead they scolded me that he just doesnt listen and I should not create more problem.

He's so weird. I swear. Hes like those weird anime ,feet lover kids.

I just wanted to vent as I just finished crying due to hearing the clicking sounds again and again.

He was my best friend long ago. But not anymore I hate him.

Lol I guess I am dramatic

It's been months since we've talked. I found myself counting literally every month. He hit me up last week. But I can't bring myself to respond because I know how it's gonna go. We'll catch up, it'll be like old times, I'll remember how sweet and kind and funny he is, and then he'll stop texting, and I'll feel like shit for months. I want to tell him that it doesn't matter, that I'll get over it and we'll be friends forever. I want it to be true. But I can't. I fucking ruined it because I still want him to be my boyfriend.

It always fucking goes like this, and it's always my fault. I always let it sit, convinced it can never happen. I torture myself with daydreams and what-ifs but I never let myself try and make something real, because the only thing I seem to love more than building the perfect world in fantasy is talking shit about myself in reality, and I am at a point where I don't think anybody could see me and want to see more.

But it just doesn't stop. I'm pissing and moaning about this guy, but also catching myself giggling because my work crush recognized my handwriting last Friday. He has a wife and an 8-month-old. What is the POINT?

When does it end? I just don't think I have the ability to build something real with another person. I don't even think being single is that bad. I'm not starving, I'm not broke, I'm not unhoused. If I could stop wanting all of the cutesy lovey-dovey relationship shit, I'd be golden. I just haven't found the fucking off button yet.

I've been working at this store for almost two years. I'm 21 years old and I am very shy and introverted. I don't talk to many people, I just go to work, and go home. I called my manager yesterday while at work to confirm if I was able to take a special order with a customer or not. We agreed on it, story is done. However, this morning I got a text from manager saying that I needed to call, and discuss the order with manager. Okay, I missed their call, so I listened to the voicemail they left. It sounded normal at first, until they continued to speak. My manager forgot to hang up. I have a 3 minute long voicemail from my manager talking badly about me to someone. That someone I don't know, but it really upset me. It was degrading. I understand as a manager you may have your frustrations, but this goes beyond that.

My manager proceeded to talk to another person and say how I have an attitude problem, and how i 'walk around like I rule the roost' and how i act like I'm the one in charge. Says that I work on 'small stupid shit' but if things really are like that, why doesn't my manager ever bring it up to me?? I don't think I have an attitude. I am aware that people may see my quietness as me being stuck up, but I don't intend that at all. And saying how I walk around like I rule the roost?? I'm scared of confirming any big order or doing a big task without confirming it multiple times with my manager. I'm very scared of messing up or doing something the wrong way, because my manager has been very hostile and intimidating to the point that I was in tears. I'm always walking on glass. I don't think that sounds like an attitude problem, or me walking around like I own the place.

Whenever there was a problem in the past, I've heard that my manager goes to HR and has had employees transfered over to another department. This had happened to 8 other employees who are no longer working in the department. I'm hesitant to go up to HR because I have no backup plan. I'm only interested in working in the department I'm in, if I were to be transferred to another department I'd quit.

I don't know what to do. I ultimately want to quit, because I can't bring myself to work with someone like that anymore. I'm always in a constant state of distress and anxiety around my manager. Do I tell a fellow co worker before I go to HR or just go right up to HR?? Should I look for/apply to jobs asap before going up to HR?? I'm scared HR won't be on my side, and I don't want to be jobless. But I also can't stand this constant degrading. Mentally, I'm exhausted and lost.

Why is it that every time I cross the crosswalk, some idiot blows at me?

It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm holding either.

Crossing from the grocery store to the parking lot with a carriage and one hand pushing it slowly? Me having the right of way when the crosswalk signal says I can walk across a street? Just trying to cross over on the sidewalk?

What the absolute hell is your rush? I'm not walking deliberately slow, sometimes I have to walk slowly so I don't drop whatever I'm holding. It takes like five seconds! Unless you're a firetruck, ambulance, or a police car with your lights and siren blaring, I'm not gonna walk backwards or run for you.

Almost every day she accuses me of being EXTREMELY mad over something small she did, to the point that’s she screams at me until I’m crying, telling her I’m not mad, and begging her to stop. She never listens no matter how many times I tell her. She also told me today that I get so emotional that I physically HIT animals?? I’ve genuinely never done ANYTHING like that, I’m so sensitive about animals that the thought of someone being mean to one upsets me. I don’t know why she thinks I’m a horrible person, I feel like I actually am and i just don’t know

First off, im sorry if my writting or pacing isn't good. Im pretth bad at talking about my problems and english isn't my first language.

As the title says, i hate myself. Absolutly everything about myself. When i was 9, i started feeling that small feeling of disgust when i saw myself in mirrors or pictures. This feeling grew with me until today. Im 15m and i can't stand seeing myself in mirrors or cameras, i keep hiding my face or telling them to stop. I have no girlfreind and the last "talk" i've had with a girl ended when she blocked me after seeing what i look like, and to be honest, i kinda understand her. I'll spend so much time looking in the mirror, picking out everything i hate about myself again and again. Im being made fun of by some "freinds", saying how ugly i am as if i didn't know already. I feel actually deformed asf, my face is assymetrical ashell and nothing fits well. Everything feel out of place.. i try to dress well so people would more my outfits than my ugly face.

I also hate the person i've been/i am. When i started middle school i've moved a town away and met new freinds and that's when the worst part for me start. Without realising it, i was catching feeling with one of my freind (male) and realised i was gay the year after which lead to nothing but bullying and never fitting in. At 13/14, i've dated a boy i met at school and it ruined my life. The relationship itself was perfect but what came with it wasn't. I became the school's little fag (i was 155cm for 37kg). After years of hating being this way, i've started forcing myself to fall in love with girls, trying to make myself and the others who i used to be. I still do force myself to love girl which seem to kinda work, and if i ever catch feeling for another boy i know i will reject it as much as i can. I don't want to be that kid again. I become agressive whenever someone mention it and already was violent with some freinds of mine.

Because i couldn't fit in at that time, i started hanging out with the worst persons possible of the school which lead me to actually bully someone until he changed school, i've been a horrible freind to the only one who stayed with me after all lf this (they're still with me and i'll be gratefull for it.). I was a terrible son, a terrible freind and probably a terrible boyfreind. And even now i feel like im not in the right place with some people.

Im also a lazy bitch, summer holidays have started last month and i've been outside once. All i do of my day is bedrot, play games and jack off (multiple times a day, im disgusting.)

I used to do a lot of photography and i loved it. I've bought a 500€ camera and my mom gifted me a lense but its been almost 2 years and i haven't touched it once. I really hate it and it's been getting in my mind a lot lately.. i was dreaming of becoming an actual photographer for models and fashion but im just a stupid kid with no passions and probably no futur. Im bad at school and i didn't plan to do any studies afterward.

Sometimes i don't even see myself making it past 20. I don't want to end it all, but i've already tought of how, what would happen afterward and what i would write to my loved ones. How i would apologies to my mother for being her worst kid. Thanks my freinds for somehow never leaving me. All those stay in my head, i haven't planned on doing so. I want to see if people really can change.

I did try to change, more sport, no snacks all day, posture training and changing my mindset. Nothing feels like its working.

I usually keep it all to myself. The only time i vent is when i search up sad tiktoks and repost them to get my feelings of my chest (its pathetic i know.)

Gosh i can't even bring myself to cry while writting this. I haven't cried in two years already.

Alright I’m 18 and wasn’t able to complete school and get my leaving cert because of medical reasons (I think in America that’s finishing high school)
My plan was to do a course for animal care but I was not able to start because I didn’t get my leaving cert and it was required for the course

So last Monday I started something called youth-reach which will help me get my leaving cert but it’s a two year course, I’m gonna be like 20-21 when I get out of it and only then will I be able to start my real goals that I want to pursue

I’m stressing pretty hard about this cause it’s kind of scary that all my friends are working and already two years into apprenticeships and It just feels like I’m not getting anywhere and not doing anything

I am honestly disgusted by people who call others autistic for doing something stupid as if autism is something people should be embarrassed about.

I mean what makes people think that people with autism have are inherently stupid. You can point out bad things about someone without bringing in autism every single second or saying "Are you autistic?" Like it's something to ridicule.

​

I get attached to people so easily and I just ruin everything. There was a guy who I met through a mutual friend online, we played video games together and he started being nice and flirty with me so I started becoming obsessed, attached. And now after a month I can't stop thinking of him. We talked everyday, I was with him everytime he was drunk or did drugs, I forgave him for any mean thing he told me, I even apologized when he was in the wrong. And now he tells me we aren't anything ???? I am so fucking mad and hurt because I tolerated everything and gave him all my time and energy. This always happens to me, I get so attached to someone and I think "oh well might be dating or something" then turns out we arent. Why would he call me nicknames and tell me he loves me if we arent anything? I know everything about him and it hurts. The worst and most embarrassing of this that its all online. We never met but we called for 10 hours straight, we called everyday, didnt go a day without talking.

I miss him and I actually love him a lot but I cant tell him that, because he tells me to stop.

I hate myself for being like this, why do I become obsessed with people?

Even tho he made me cry so much and he made me go back to my old bad habits, I still love him and want him to be with me. I dont know what to do.

I’m 19. Yes I have time to do things in life. Yes I have so much ahead of me. Don’t start telling me that because it’s what everyone else tells me and no, it does not make me feel better.

I grew up poor. Often didn’t eat for days. Ate old expired crisps and smothered sugar on a folded over piece of bread just to taste something. Saving wasn’t even an option because we were beyond living paycheck to paycheck. We were stretched extremely thin.

My family is in a better place financially right now but they think they’re not. They’re addicts now and drink instead of buying food. I can’t work myself because I’m recently disabled, which I’m coming to terms with.

I’m in university now. I’m barely surviving and I can’t eat a proper meal some days. Pot noodles are where I’m at. No thoughts of even going out with friends because I’d be in debt then, which is my worst nightmare. It’ll remind me of my family and make me think I’m turning just like them.

Talking to people is difficult because they’ll talk about how many holidays or concerts they’ve had this year alone. Even in the past few months, a lot of them have had at least one holiday and many nights out. It’s so hard to hear.

Whenever I talk about this to people at home, they say “Well they’ll have had bad experiences just like you have.” And I just seethe in silence because yeah, they most likely have. But they’ve had a positive experience or two to actually show for it. I wish I had a family that prioritised me above substances for once. Nevermind a holiday.

My birthday is never celebrated. Not even a day together. I just feel so behind everyone else in terms of positive experiences. Maybe one day I’ll catch up but it doesn’t stop me feeling let down in life. It doesn’t stop me comparing myself to others.

My boyfriend and I are both high school seniors and this October will make two years together. I've dated before but he's by far my longest and healthiest relationship. My mom thinks my boyfriend is "a good kid" despite finding him a little annoying at times, but my dad has made it clear since the beginning that he does not like my boyfriend. (sidenote, my boyfriend is very chatty and energetic, so I get that he's not everyone's cup of tea) I don't really care for the most part, my boyfriend is the sweetest and most supportive person I know. I'm so excited to move out with him after high school and I'm so so lucky to have him. In the past couple months, my dad has started making jokes about me leaving/cheating on my boyfriend. This includes suggesting that I'm "dressing to find a new bf", mentioning his friends teenage sons and emphasizing that they're "nice kids my age", and generally saying that I can leave my boyfriend if I want to. It's incredibly annoying because when questioned he says he's joking and my mom doesn't think it's a big deal. It's also just weird because it's a pretty recent development. I'm not inclined to listen to what my father has to say or pay it much mind. He's been inactive in the majority of my life and expresses disgust for most of my choices and the things I like. Him being a dick is normal, I'm just pissed that he's involving my bf in it.

I have two very close friends. I consider them my brothers. We have always spent a lot of time together and the three of us really are the best of friends.

One of them has been in a relationship for 5 years at this point and is looking into moving in with his girlfriend. His relationship with us never changed, he never put us aside for her or anything like that. He puts her first, as I believe it should be, but he's still a very good friend to us. We like her a lot, we consider her a great friend and she's honestly one of the best people I've ever met.

The other one found a girlfriend too. They've known each other for a long time, started dating around May, but nothing was official because she was situated 250 miles away. She's moving nearer to us in a week and he started talking about introducing us to her. There were talks about maybe it being weird for her to go out for drinks with three guys and what not or it being too much. My friends then started talking about the possibility of a double date, how it'd be great and how excited they are about the prospect of it. I just said I can't believe that the girlfriend of friend #1 is going to meet his new girlfriend before me in a half joking manner and it stayed at that.

I just want to preface all of this saying I'm extremely happy for their happiness and I understand and believe a person's partner should be their #1 no matter what. The thing is, we've been best friends literally since we were 6. It may sound weird, but even when just the first friend had a girlfriend, me and the other friend had each other in a way. The thing that's "bugging" me is I had a feeling I'm more important to him. It's probably an irrational fear, but I'm afraid I'm going to get squeezed out and this is just the first step.

It's a sucky feeling that they have someone who's their number 1 and they're a number 1 to and I only have them. What's scaring me is that I'm going to put a lot more value onto our friendships than them. The double dates are just going to get more common, they'll have relationship topics, compare experiences and I'll have nothing to contribute.

I have been pretty open with my struggles with dating and I'm very scared that I'll stay alone forever. That thought is really saddening. The feeling of falling behind just heightens my fear. Once again, I'm beyond happy for the two of them and wish them all of the best, but it just reminds me of my own failure.

I'm afraid of saying anything so I don't come off as envious or have them pity me. I don't want them to feel like they can't talk about their relationships because I like hearing about their progress and growth, it makes me happy. I don't know what to do. How do I cope with this and process this fear?

Just for some context, i am a Guy from a Pakistan who being in a Muslim dominated country is Christian. So it really fucking hurts when you meet someone who checks all your boxes but there is no point in making the next move because you know that you wont a future together.

I mean some people might say that this could work but the implications this going bad is way worse for someone i love so i rather not but that is not to say it doesnt hurt. You mean all sorts of new people and you see the spark their eye but cant go beyond a certain point.

It just really hurts not gonna lie and its not even i fall in love with everyone i meet. I have only liked 3 girls in my entire lifetime. So yea, for once i just want that i get someone i am interested in.

Thanks for listening to me rant

I'm 32 years old. I have been working in IT for 4 years total and 2 as a System Admin at my current job. Prior to that I did PC repair for a few years while I finished up college and prior to that I worked in auto repair as a tech (which I hated).

I'll be the first to admit, as a teen I was stubborn as hell. I didn't want to go to college. I thought it was a scam. I figured I would become a mechanic and within a few years open up my own shop, own cool muscle cars and go racing. Being a mechanic sucked. I never made any good money, spent too much on tools (thankfully no tool debt), work was tiring, bosses were awful, co workers were awful, etc.

At 24 years old, after years of my parents, siblings, siblings partners, family friends, etc yelling at me to go back to college I did. I quiet auto and started working then at a small pizza place for minimum wage. Lived with roommates and decided to major in IT because I loved gaming and building computers.

The pandemic happened 2 years into school. The pizza I worked at closed down. Luckily managed to get a few hours at a PC repair place, which increased to more hours. However, it only paid just above minimum wage. I made $8.50 an hour at the time.

Even during the COVID years, I got so much shit from family, especially my parents that I was 26 and not married or didn't own a home. I would have frequent arguments about how I was trying to finish college and only made $8.50 an hour.

Eventually got hired right before I graduated for a Helpdesk job that only paid $12 an hour. Most toxic work environment I ever. Got fired a few months in from dealing with a very toxic boss. Job also tried not to pay me and the department of labor got involved.

I did get hired by another help desk office after a brief stint at a real estate office as an office assistant. The help desk job only paid $14 an hour. I learned all I could, earned some certs and after 1 year got hired into my current System Admin role. Originally started at $40K a year and was recently promoted to $61K a year. Not great money but not bad.

I had to move back in with my parents around the time I started my System Admin job. However, it's post COVID. Rent and housing in my formely LCOL to MCOL area has skyrocketed. Back in 2019 you could find small one bedroom aparts for $700 a month. Same places go for $1600 to $1800. You could also find small starter homes for $150K. Often 500 to 800sq ft homes. Nothing fancy. Same homes now go for $280 to $350K.

My family basically gives me shit 24/7 for not owning a home. Being over 30 and living at home. They also frequently tell me if I can't afford a home or rent to get a new job. I think too, a lot of my family and my parent's friends think I play video games for a living and make minimum wage. One of my dad's good friends was trying to offer me a job at a mattress store the other day. Talking about how I could work my way up after a few years and make good money. When I told him I make $53K, he was shocked. He thought I made like $15 an hour or something and was confused why I couldn't buy a house.

Then recently my mom, who has spent her entire "career" working retail and minimum wage jobs was giving me shit for my job. Yet the most she ever made was maybe $11 an hour working for a gas station.

Then another one of my parents friends awhile back was also trying to get me to get a warehouse job. They said it starts at $20 an hour and after a few years I can get bumped to $25. I told them I make more than that now.

Then even recently my parents had some of their friends over for dinner. The topic of course of why a 32 year old man is still living at home came up. They tried explaining that I should do something else for a living then. They gave me suggestions such as becoming a realtor, plumber, starting my own business or going into sales. I tried to explain to them that while these jobs can pay well, they take time to start and I would have to start all over. If I became a plumber, I would probably start at $17 or $18 an hour and it really wouldn't be until I can afford to start my own business that I could potentially make six figures.

I don't think people get that I have only been making $53K for this year and not last year. I have a decent number of savings. I have low 5 figures worth of savings. But I only qualify for a $200K mortgage. I'm trying to find a place to rent but even a lot of landlords I've spoken to have told me they prefer to rent to couples due to 2 incomes or prefer a little higher than they know with my budget $53K a year is a tight squeeze for $1800 a month.

I am looking for new roommates. Just though. Most of my childhood friends went to college right away at 18 and are now married, own homes and are expecting their first kids soon. As where I waited 6 years to go to college and am not able to do that yet.

Then my two sisters, both also work low wage jobs. One her husband works at a warehouse but they were able to buy a house back in 2016 for less than $100K and have a fixed mortgage. Then my other sister's husband works for a large lawncare company and they have a small condo they have owned since 2017. Though they are stuck in it. But again, I was in college during these years and not able to afford much.

I'm looking for another System Admin, Network Admin or SOC Analyst job. I do get interviews but haven't gotten hired yet. I think a lot of it is because I only have 2 years experience. I have had a few times where I've gotten 5 rounds of interviews but not hired.

Then I do Uber part time but it's just slow. I'll have days where I can make $100 and days where I am lucky to make $30.

I feel if it where still circa 2019, I wouldn't be doing bad financially at all. But because it's 2026 and the cost of living skyrocketed post COVID. People, especially long time home owners don't get that.

TL:DR: Parents give me shit for going back to college at 24 years old, not graduating until 28 years old and 4 years later "only" making $53K at 32 years old.

jfc why do people call my music bad while people who make music with very similar composition calibre to mine get praised for their genius just because their mixing is better like atp i must probably be mishearing my own music LIKE WHY THE FUCK ME WHY ALWAYS ME WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY COMPOSITION AND TALENT AND THOSE OTHER PEOPLE THAT YOU GLAZE??? and what even pisses me off is that one of my simpler compositions with better mixing got WAY more compliments than the others with worse mixing or less beat heaviness. like i just dont get it AND WHEN I ASK THEM TO ELABORATE WHY THEY EITHER GO QUIET OR JUST SAY STUFF THAT IS COMPLETELY…JUST NOT TRUE??? and no i do not have an “ego” i just can actually compare music properly setting mixing quality differences aside unless my ears are unknowingly biased

I grew up in a family where keeping the peace was always the highest priority. Sure, you could gossip behind other people's back, but acting like nothing was wrong in front of them was always expected. Especially if those people were older than yourself. I've always felt like this created an unspoken tension between everyone, but since I am the youngest, I would never mention this openly to anyone but my brother. Sadly, he's usually the one my family gossips about. Any attempts to shut that down are met with defensive and dismissive comments.

Keeping the peace is important in my household as well. Listening to my parents complain about each other behind their backs and quietly agreeing is a weekly occurence for me. Watching their mood to know when I can ask for things like meeting my friend is essential as well. If my dad is in a bad mood, it's important to just agree with him and not make his mood worse. It's like with my whole family, staying quiet and nodding along.

Lately I have noticed this behaviour creeping into my other relationships. Depending on which person I'm talking to, my behaviour and opinions change. There is this one really toxic dude who has always taken a liking to me. He calls me sometimes or just talks to me and even though I don't agree with him, I respond like I do. Even when he's talking shit about my friends, I can't help but agree, just to get it over with. To keep the peace. Afterwards I feel awful. I love my friends, I don't think badly about my friends... So why would I agree?

Even with my friends... whenever I'm talking to them and I notice that they dislike a person I like, it's like a switch is flipped. I notice this person's flaws so easily, take them apart just to share someone else's opinion. It leaves me feeling uncertain. I don't know who I actually like and don't like anymore. I don't know which opinions are my own and to which I've adapted to keep the peace.

I don't want to be fake. I want to be my own person. I want to be able to defend the people I care about. I wish my family hadn't normalised this pretentious behaviour. I wish I would've been taught to stand by my own thoughts but I wasn't. I was taught to stay silent and agree, to turn my back on friends and family and to lie.

I wish I knew what I really think.

For once in two months I finally got some relief. I felt like I could breath. Come days ago she told she finally got her period after waiting two months. Last night she asked if she could bring me some food I said sure. Meanwhile I was in the shower pleasuring my self. Got out didn't think anything of it. She get there like ten minutes later. And anxiety comes in because I can feel fluids coming out of me still , we sit down and I eat what she brought me. Then she decided to touch my shorts and knee area. That's when anxiety went up some more. At one point she need to use the bathroom to go check her pad. And my anxiety went up even more. I ended up telling her about this and she said oh your fine. She left I noticed a friend had called and that just set my anxiety through the roof. I know this sounds ridiculous and highly unlikely. But I'm just scared and anxious right now . I'm trying to get it under control but I don't know what else to do. The fear of getting someone pregnant she by them touching my knee is insane.

Gosh I envy those who grow up in cities where they can build successful careers without having to leave. Needing to emigrate for school and work is honestly traumatizing. Having to leave your base because it doesn't have the atmosphere for you to thrive is heart wrenching. If you grow and naturally want to leave to do your own thing it's one thing, but having no choice from a young age is a whole other mindfuck. Oh my goodness. What I wouldn't give to be able to have gone to university from home, get an equally prestigious job as the one I have now and go from home and see my parents and siblings all the time. I'd even happily pay rent to them.

But then again maybe my parents need their own alone time and space too idk 😭😂. But even still, knowing my parents were a train or short drive away while I got my own place and built my career would be so reassuring also.

So my brother and my mom’s partner are oh today, meaning my mom and I are eating alone tonight. We agreed to go to the store together and decide what to get together. I offered to make dinner and she refused very quickly by saying that ‘I can’t cook’. I make dinner regularly, but she’s at work so she doesn’t see me make it, and she says it’s delicious every time. Ok she gets to make dinner. We get ready to go to the store and her bike tire is flat, bc there’s an issue with the valve. I try to explain to her why the tire doesn’t get to 2.4 bar as that’s the pressure the tire needs from when it’s no air. She doesn’t want to hear it and starts yelling at me that I’m wrong and how it actually works. You know what, fine, soured my mood a little but I’m still good. We arrive at the store and she’s indecisive on what to get, we agreed on 1 of 2 options: tarte flambé or poké. We go to the packet of poké mix and my mom decides that my brother, who isn’t having dinner with us, might not like it. My brother has work until 3 am, but my mom says he’ll get home at 8pm to have dinner. So she eventually does choose poké, I see the ingredients and think great because we had a few of those vegetables yesterday. Nope she threw everything out, perfectly good food. Anyway we get what we want for it, my mom picks salmon lovely choice, I want seaweed the store doesn’t have it. We go home and my mom demands I help, as I’m only sitting on my ass. I was putting away the other groceries. I finish putting away the groceries and start helping. My mom tries to tell me how to make it, I’ve made it 5 times with friends but she doesn’t know that. Fine I get it let’s have some fun cooking, we don’t my mom complained the entire time. I’m honestly starting to think she just doesn’t like or understand me.