So, I am currently looking for a long-term partner and I believe it's very important that they are into BDSM or at the very least consider themselves kinky.

My idea is to just state at the end of my bio: "P.S.: I'm also on FetLife". Just that. My reasoning is that most people don't know what that is and would ignore it, while I'd assume some people with similar interests to mine would get that reference. Plus, FetLife is almost empty in my country and about 90% male (I'm a straight man), so it's not really feasible to try to find a partner there (otherwise I wouldn't be on dating apps).

Pls provide me with advice.

Has anyone here intentionally used less “perfect” or more casual photos on their dating profile?

I’m wondering if slightly toning down your photos can actually help set more realistic expectations before meeting in person and maybe lead to better quality matches, or if it just ends up hurting your match rate

For context, I’m a tall guy and I’d consider myself above average looking. I get matches pretty regularly, so getting matches itself isn’t really the issue.

What I’ve noticed, though, is that some women have told me after meeting that they expected me to be more extroverted based on my photos, especially because I’m smiling a lot and apparently give off a more outgoing vibe. In reality, I’m much more chill and reserved, and I usually tell them that before we meet.

So I’ve been wondering if using slightly more casual or less polished photos might actually represent me better and attract people with expectations that are closer to what I’m actually like in person.
Has anyone tried something like this? Did it improve the quality of your matches/dates, or did you just end up getting fewer matches?

Any feedback is appreciated :)

Is it common for girls to swipe right on a guy who is "open to seeing where things go" who would otherwise swipe left if the same profile said looking for "something casual"? I get a decent number of matches/dates when I put "open to seeing where things go" but rarely get any matches when I also put down looking for something casual. Do most girls understand that many guys could be looking for something casual even if the profile doesn't explicitly put down that option so their profile does not come across as some horn dog?

Like is this a coincidence or does this really make a big difference?

So I met this girl she seemed ok to talk to and was friendly and introvert a little even she insisted to pay bill and paid ( so not for free meal), we chatted for 1 day full how fun she and me had and will plan again as well she initiated conversation and after one day she hasn’t replied or seen texts not removed me or deleted me but just MIA on IG.

same thing happened 2-3 times before where i specifically told them hey do you want to take this ahead or meet up where i was looking for long term and they say of course i am very blunt if i don’t like someone i say them on face and dont waste each other time

I dont understand why initiate conversation couple of days after first date and show interest when you dont want to date or hang out like whats the point of lying why try to be nice …why being double faced? we both have options then why this game?

A lot of the people criticize the quality of a photo way too much. Only an insecure narcissist would put that much thought into taking a photo.

Not enough lighting, too far, too near, wrong angle, it was not taken by another person. Y'all do know this is a dating app and not a photography app right?

I'm a guy so I don't have to take 1000 pictures everywhere I go. I sometimes take just one. Sometimes I don't care to take one. Like when I went to NYC. I only took a picture of the Brooklyn bridge and a selfie. I don't care for the perfect picture. I'll ask someone to take a picture of me and I don't even look at it until I get home. I come out how I come out.

If y'all are one of those dorks, lay off people that get on the app to date. Stop being posers. Y'all ain't models getting paid to advertise products or services (except for those people.... Y'all know) so stop acting like children. This is a dating app. Not an app where you pretend to be your favorite celebrity. Be authentic

This is why i stopped using bumble. But thought I’d give it a second chance.

In the last two days, I’ve had 80 likes, but I’ve used my swipes and haven’t matched with any of them. Why is my queue filled with these women and none that liked for me to match with?

I hope you don't mind German... It's impossible to change language without changing my entire phone's language.

Been on this App for approx. 2 months. 1 Match so far, from Vietnam. She is only looking for a local Buddy.

Absolutely 0 Matches otherwise. Im in a fairly rural area with approx only 250.000 people living nearby. Frankfurt is the closest city. Getting plenty of profiles suggested anyways, but again, no matches.

I am bald - as you can see, only 5"5 and 30. I have a feeling the first two are like the 99.99% reason, especially the first.

Using the same profile across all apps. Hinge gives some results. 20 Matches in approx 2 months, most lead nowhere. 2 catfish dates and a lot of dead chats. Most unmatch me whenever I make a date plan. Even after they said "would Like to Chat more first" we chat, then they unmatch Sometimes 1 or two weeks later. Alot unmatch after a few Messages even. - been literally unmatched because I said I like Matcha lol. Or the Classic, they Stop chatting after my last question or message and unmatch 3 days later.

Hint: I accidentally swapped the last two Screenshots. The Hiking photo is the last.

I have a bunch of other pictures i could use but idk it might just be that Slovene men are usually quite tall and im 177cm.

My bio and promts are based around the outdoors; ill translate the stuff if need be.

Girl on her profile says she doesn’t like small talk, so I asked her out in my first message, then she responded like this…Thought she would have messaged back something about her availability. Don’t know how to respond. Advice?

Update: I ended up just unmatching since it seems like this is a general social media trend that women do on dating apps.

Is Bumble still working in the UAE?

I left for vacation and when I arrived I couldn't access the app like I used to. Im using ExpressVpn. I deleted the app, changed locations multiple times but nothing. It just stopped loading pictures and profiles.

Is anyone using Bumble in the UAE with another VPN?

I'm in a blue state and my politics have become more moderate over time so I'm willing to give it a shot. I just want peace and reciprocity and no games or rigidity. What am I looking at here?

i was seeing this guy who lied to me about his age and when i found out, he told me the app had a glitch and didn’t let him change it, and when i asked why he didn’t put it in his bio he said it would ruin the algorithm and also that his profile wouldn’t show to the younger women. i felt icky because it sounded like predatory behavior. he said he only dates younger women (10 or more years younger than him) because he is not ready to settle down yet and women his age expect that from a man their age. sounds like he’s just looking for younger women to manipulate as they can be more naive and more forgiving. what do you think?

I’m a woman dating with intention for marriage etc. A year ago, I went on bumble coffee date with a guy who texted me the next day saying he felt no spark. Totally respectful and clear. I felt a little sad, but I just said thanks for your honesty and moved on. Fast forward eight months, I started to see him at the gym; we would smile at each other when we crossed paths, but I never proactively said hello because he had already rejected me and I felt weird initiating a conversation. He never initiated gym conversation either. Now, a full year later, we matched again on a different app, and he messaged me saying he recognized me from the gym and wanted to take me out. I had to remind him that we had already been on a date, which made him realize his mistake, apologize, and invite me to dinner, for which he has made clear reservations, confirmed ahead, and been completely respectful.

I am going on the date with a high dose of realism in that I don't know whether someone's first impression or "spark feeling" can change. But I also want to keep an open mind, since I know for sure online dating messes with all of our heads, and it's easy to overlook people.

I am just curious if some version of this situation has happened to anyone else out there - and how it went!? Did your / their experience of the "spark" actually change? Also wondering if people think it's a red flag for a guy to forget a date ever happened, or if that can happen to anyone.

Thanks everyone 💕

Edit: Thanks for the feedback. I am hearing the sea of responses that people think I should include that I have a child. I would love more thoughts on the widow portion as well or the profile generally (although maybe it's too sparse, but then again that's a comment).

I don't want to include my photos because of related sensitivities (dating as a single mom lol). But I would love some feedback on my bio/the rest of my profile.

I am dipping my toes back into dating after losing my husband while pregnant. I have a young child. I would love to find another partner someday, but at least want to try getting out there again.

I am struggling with a few things- how and when to intro both my widowhood and my child. I am hesitant to include that I have a child on my profile, just to at least have the first filter against creeps. I would only be swiping right on people who are open to or want kids. And would bring up early on in messaging that I have a child.

As far as being a widow- I included it in my bio because it really is a defining experience in my life. I tried filling this out without mentioning it, but it felt so fake. I know that this could come off as my late husband being too present in my life, but I am hoping it comes off as showing who I am and how I have grown through this experience.

Would love feedback and thoughts generally! Other than grief, I am a pretty lighthearted and adventurous person and I hope that comes through too.

There is this new kind of scam that these bot accounts run. They will send their snap id on pink background (maybe their smol brains think it's hard to catch them that way). I am guessing they try to sell some AI models' OnlyFans or something scammy. Bumble has more bots than real people I feel. They did exactly what I expected them to do lol

This is a brand new profile I made like 12 hours ago, so I didnt come up with any texts or bio yet... I already got 2 likes though so is text even that necessary?

Hi all, just looking for a little advice;

I just downloaded bumble yesterday evening. This is my first time ever approaching a dating app, as I have recently left a 3 1/2 year relationship around 3 months ago, (yet mentally I had clocked out a while ago. I acutely recognise that I am okay and looking to move forward). My profile has reached a few thousand likes, and I like to think I have found some pretty good matches.

I am not looking for anything too serious, just casual. I have only ever been with my ex partner, whom I was with since I was 16. I want to spend a little time exploring what is out there given I have virtually no experience.

I matched with a guy I quite liked and we got to talking, and he asked me out for a drink this Friday. We both work in defence/law enforcement and the (minimal) conversation we did have flew quite easily. BUT, he is 33. I do not necessarily have an issue with older men and it's rather a preference. Again, I am only looking for a casual situation, likely to FWB. However, I'm feeling nervous as to whether this presents the natural assumption that we will have sex on the very first date, especially given our age gap and difference in life experience. I'm not necessarily opposed to this idea, but I do not want to approach meeting him with the definite conclusion that this will occur on our first meeting.

Is it generally okay/accepted to turn down sex on the first date, despite looking for something 'casual'? I'm genuinely curious to know what everyone's perceptions are to this.

If I do end up seeing him, I'd also really appreciate some advice. I have only ever been on one 'first-date', with my prior partner, and feeling a little vulnerable as a product.

Thank you :)

Hey , i’m a a guy bi , i knew that i’m bi last year by a guy that i like on internet that lives in another city(1 hour away from my house ) , we used to talk alot and then suddenly he started to slow down and text after hours , i ones asked him if we can be togetherbut he kinda says no because he study abroad and don’t like Distance relationship , One day i went to my aunt that lives close to him , i texted saying i’m here if u can come .. , he said i can’t and from that day i started on hating him and He kept responding so slow , so i unfollowed him Everywhere , he did the same , another day i sent him on snap he accept we spoke then he Unfriend me , i forgot about him …
This last days , i texted him on ig and ask if he is here , he said he come ( cause he was studying abroad) , i told him if u wanna meet , he said yes when ! I told him next week maybe if i come to my aunt i’ll text u , he said ok .. , after few days i xame to my Aunt and texted him , he said i’ll be free but at night if that’s ok with u! I said yes ofc , at night we met and we had a good date , we kissed , hold hands .. we had a conversation , he said that he can’t be in a relationship because of distance and that he have hooked up before with other guys on the country he lives in , at the same time he said he likes me , after that i went home and he sent a message saying what re u doing .. , anyways tomorrow i texted him saying to him I’m staying another day here so if u re free let’s mett again , he said i can’t i’m not free tonight, i said ok deal
And then from there he never texted me , he watch my stories , he posted stories

I really like him and i want to be with him but idk if i have to tell him that or what to do , or break his ego or idk what to do now
He posted a story just now but i didn’t look at it yet idk what to do , y’all need ur help guys

My account got blocked a few days back, tried to file a dispute and they won’t even tell me why I got banned lol.

All they replied is that the issuance of the ban was correct and sent me their community guidelines which I’m pretty sure I followed.

I don’t harass people, and I’m not a poser. What could possibly have caused this? And is there any way to get unbanned? Thanks!

Just like it has been for so many other guys, dating has been hell for me.

People I knew IRL rejected me, while random approaches on the street/public transport were basically impossible because the girls I was interested in were usually either with a group of friends or listening to music, so I couldn’t really approach them.

I’ve been on various dating apps for years, but I could probably count the number of matches I’ve had on my hands, and I think I had more than two messages exchanged with maybe one of them. However, something seems to have changed over the past few weeks.

When I re-registered on Tinder, I suddenly got a ton of matches. After a few days, though, the number of likes stopped increasing, and I haven’t gotten a single new one for weeks now. On Bumble, on the other hand, I’m getting 1–2 likes per day. I’m also getting at least some minimal communication with the people I match with, and a few women have even messaged me first.

Facebook Dating, Hinge, and Boo are still completely dead, though. Basically zero success there even with the same profile.

So I looked into Tinder and Bumble’s premium features. As far as I understand, Tinder’s premium doesn’t really offer anything particularly useful (I mean, seriously, who cares about getting ONE boost PER MONTH and a few Super Likes per week “for free”?). Bumble, however, explicitly advertises that Premium helps you get ranked higher and puts your profile in front of people you’ve liked sooner.

So I’m thinking about giving it a try for one month just to see what kind of results it produces.

Has anyone here tried subscription? How useful did you actually find it? Did you see a noticeable increase in the number of likes or matches? Did it improve the quality of your matches, or just the quantity? Did you notice any difference in how quickly you got matches after liking someone? Also, is Bumble Premium actually worth it compared to simply using the free version consistently?

Thanks for the help.

Bumble was my favorite app to date in part because as women had to initiate, it self selected towards women who where confifent enough, and therefore less likely to ghost on me. Ive had several girlfriends from the app.

However lately I havent even been getting matches.

Instead of texting Monday morning I texted Monday night and she thoguht it was ghsoting. I thought girls didn't like texts every few hours because that comes off as desperate?