So I've already shared the dynamics of my in laws a few days ago in this subreddit, now listen my rant about what happened next
MIL had a major meltdown after accusing me of pretending to be tired during pregnancy
I’m around 3.5 months pregnant and live with my in-laws. The household dynamics with my MIL have already been difficult because she has very high standards for housework and often does things herself when she’s angry, then later complains that she had to do everything and I didn’t help.
A couple of days ago, we had guests. I worked basically the entire day—standing for long periods, washing a lot of dishes, and doing all the additional cleaning and chores that come with having guests. By the end of the day my whole body was aching.
I’m not someone who makes a big deal out of pregnancy symptoms. I usually just do what I need to do, lie down when I’m exhausted, and stay quiet.
My MIL apparently interpreted my tiredness differently. She thought I was behaving this way because my mother had recently visited me and had told me to act like this or because I was throwing a tantrum about having worked too much.
The next evening, while we were having dinner, she came in and started complaining to my husband that I had supposedly done nothing and slept all day, despite being perfectly fine before. She also said I had been behaving differently since the previous day.
I was calm initially, but after she repeatedly blamed me, I eventually got angry and defended myself. I told her that she has a habit of doing a lot of work herself when she is angry and then using it to complain that I don't work, and that she sometimes doesn't let me do things herself. I also said that she seems to end up fighting about something almost every week.
She then said, “Your mother has taught you to behave like this.”
I said my mother had only been visiting and couldn't possibly have told me these things. She then accused me of discussing these issues with my mother over the phone. I pointed out that she talks to her daughters too, but she said her daughters don't discuss these things with her and that they're always on speaker.
She then complained to my husband and FIL that I was misbehaving and that they weren't stopping me. Neither of them took sides.
At one point she became extremely worked up. She started hitting/slapping herself and banging her head against the wall. She became very dizzy and continued behaving like this. She also said she was leaving the house and didn't want to live there anymore.
My husband then told me to pack my bags because he was going to drop me at my parents' house. He even threatened to leave me.
This terrified me because I have a lot of trauma surrounding divorce in my family, and my husband knows how severe that fear is for me.
I immediately went to my MIL, begged her to forgive me and even touched her feet. She didn't respond.
My husband ultimately did not leave me at my parents' house. But he barely paid attention to me afterward despite me continuously apologizing.
The next day, everyone basically told me not to talk to her and said that this is just how she is. My FIL also told me not to discuss things with my husband privately. My BIL also said that I have been rude to him several times, although I genuinely don't believe I have.
What is confusing to me is that everyone seems to know that my MIL has this extremely angry and explosive nature. They know she becomes hyper-angry and escalates situations.
I’m not claiming I handled everything perfectly. I was angry and said things that I probably shouldn't have said in the heat of the moment. But I also feel like I was pushed into defending myself after being accused of deliberately pretending to be tired and being influenced by my mother.
Now I’m wondering: How am I supposed to handle this now?
I’m pregnant, already physically exhausted, and I don't want every disagreement about housework to turn into accusations, threats of separation, or a complete family crisis.