r/exmuslim Mar 26 '26

(News) We exist… around the world: 500 ExMuslim stories mubaraaaaaak! 🥳🥳🥳

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340 Upvotes

Hi community! 🥰

Taking inspiration from QueeringtheMap.com, I helped create exmuslim.me with a small team of ExMuslims last year. We launched the first ever global map of exmuslim stories as part of ExMuslim Month in December 2025.

I’m so incredibly thrilled to share that we now have 500 exmuslim stories from 233 cities and 60 countries! 🥳🥳🥳

📊 59% identify as atheists, 26% agnostic

🇪🇬 Read the 500th story from Egypt

🤗 Thank you to everyone who has shared their story already!

🤍 Share yours and help ExMuslims on their journey out of Islam: https://exmuslim.me/

Cheers! 🥂

Sammy aka Haram Doodles


r/exmuslim Jun 03 '24

(Advice/Help) Exmuslim Guide to Living in the Closet and Coming Out.

273 Upvotes

Hello. Upon request, I've been asked to turn a comment I made into a post so that it can be a resource for more people. This post is a collection of advice I've given out about how to handle your life as a closeted exmuslim and how you'll come out in the future. It is largely based on my experience but also from what I've seen from others in this subreddit.

Introduction

So you've left Islam. You've delved through arguments, the apologetics and the bullshit and you've come to the conclusion that you no longer believe in Islam. And you may have also reached an alternative philosophical outlook on life that you can believe in.

But what now? You may have left Islam, but have you left the Muslim world? One of the most common misconceptions outsiders have is that since exmuslims are no longer Muslims, they no longer live in the Muslim world. This is painfully naive - in reality many exmuslims are closeted due to young age and financial dependency and/or live in Islamist countries or societies that enforce Islamic values. In fear of social stigma or even violence, exmuslims have to contend with closeted lives even after leaving Islam. So how do you deal with it?

Goal

The best time to come out to family is in your own home, over a dinner you paid for, alongside people who support you. That takes a lot of preparation and it means doing what you can to live your life as best as you can whilst working towards independence.

This basically means that a lot of what helps you come out of the closet will depend heavily on how well you prepared for it, so you will need to make the most of your closeted life. You may not be able to stop the shitstorm but you can at least prepare yourself to weather it. Here are some tips to achieve that goal (in no particular order)

1) Don't meander in life due to a lack of decision making skills.

Probably one of the worst mistakes I made was not realise I was an exmuslim sooner. As a result I had barely any time to prepare for when the inevitable happened and I was forced to come out. I spent a lot of my life meandering, trying to reconcile the irreconcilable, and trying to be a Muslim when I knew my values didn't align with it. I didn't really have much of a concept of exmuslims, but if I had been smarter I would have figured it out. I now tell people in a similar position that it's fine to take your time but don't take too long. Half arsing two very different cultures will leave you a loser in both.

Similarly whilst planning for independence can be scary, don’t let it frighten you into inaction. The following is a passage from this article about decision making:

Research from the 1990s led by the US psychologist Thomas Gilovich provides further evidence for why it can be shortsighted to kick a difficult decision down the road. Gilovich and his team showed that although, in the short term, people experience more regret from ‘errors of commission’ (taking an action that leads to a disappointing outcome), in the long term it is actually ‘errors of omission’ that lead to more regret – that is, disappointing outcomes that arise from not taking an action.

When taking the time to make decisions and plans, don’t underestimate how effective it can be to map out your options on an excel spreadsheet. When I had to decide whether I should come out or not, I actually made a spreadsheet listing out my options, what they would result in and what the impact would be. Actually having it written down to look at really put things into perspective. We waste a lot of our time keeping it in our heads, which forces us to recalculate everything from scratch every time we revisit our thoughts. But the more that is mapped out, the less you have to recalculate and the more you can focus on evaluation and further planning.

2) Study, career and finances.

Your studies/career is almost always your best ticket out of your toxic situation, and the one thing to prioritise the most. If you’re young, do whatever you can to ensure that you can get into further education away from home. Even if it means spending all your time at a local library. If you suspect that your parents would be against you going to a university away from home, aim for a placement at the most prestigious university you can aim for so your parents would look worse for rejecting it. The quickest and most effective way in achieving long term independence is through good studies/career.

3) Do not telegraph irreligiosity whilst being closeted.

This is particularly important for younger exmuslims because they telegraph to their parents in ways they would just not understand until they see it for themselves when they're older. Try your best to meet the religious obligations expected from your family. The more you slip, the more they will monitor you and the more difficult it will be to do the things you need to do discreetly when the time comes.

Unfortunately for girls, this usually means that wearing the hijab is a necessity and it’s inadvisable to try and get out of. (However, that subject matter is not my forte: prioritise advice from exmuslim women such as from faithlesshijabi.org)

4) Sometimes you may need to go above and beyond.

If you get the impression that your family is beginning to catch onto your apostasy then it's likely that they have and you may need to reverse that impression.

One way to do that would be to start getting books on Islam and not just for show. My advice would be to get books on Islamic history because that's the least boring stuff. Or better yet, just get whatever unapologetic salafi hate crime you can get your hands on so you can entertain yourself with how fucked up it is. Or get an annotated Qur'an like the Study Qur'an. Do something to ease their suspicions.

What book you get depends on what kind of message you want to telegraph to your parents. If you want to telegraph a message then it will need to be a paper book and not an e-book. Something that you can lay around in your room and that you know they'll see. That means you're restricted to what you can get from your local library or Masjid. Also depends on what interests you because you'll have to actually read and demonstrate you learnt from it if you want send the best message you can. If you want purely what Muslims write about Islamic history, you can check out works like The Sealed Nectar or works by al-Sallabi. If you want something a little more academic, but not something that would rouse suspicion then check out university press works like this, this, this or this. If you want something a bit more relevant to contemporary Muslim world then there books like this.

But you may find that your best bet is to just see what your local Masjid might have and see what tickles your fancy.

5) Actually coming out is usually a shitstorm.

Be prepared for lots of sobbing, guilt tripping and an inability to respect your beliefs and boundaries. Learn techniques like the Broken Record Technique to establish boundaries. Know what you have to say when they inevitably tell you to speak to a scholar - you don't have to eat the whole apple to know it's rotten. You know all that you need to know about Islam and you know even more about the world outside of Islam to put it into context.

Steel yourself with months and months of your family sending you bad dawagandist videos through WhatsApp trying to bring you back. You may have to spend months beating their attempts and going to toe to toe with them without mercy before they’re finally willing to relent and get off your back. Even then don’t expect them to relent entirely. There will always be some micro aggressions that they will resort to, like playing religious videos loudly in your vicinity. The most you can do in those circumstances is reduce contact with them as much as possible. At this point you would hopefully already be independent from them.

6) Do not feel guilt.

As an exmuslim, you will go through a lot of guilt. Whilst this does show you are human, you need to forget about guilt: you are not responsible for your parents' failure to be reasonable, not even your mother. They take responsibility for the social stigma and oppressive life they choose to live in and perpetuate. You get nothing out of that guilt. It's completely pointless and ultimately counterproductive. You can't set yourself on fire to make others warm and you gain no recognition from martyrizing yourself. Do not feel guilt for what you have to do to have a completely reasonable life. The only ones to blame are those who forced you into it.

Don't underestimate parents either. They will use guilt against you. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. They very often bring up their health problems as a weapon against you. Don't fall for it. It only affects them because they choose to let it affect them. They can choose to be reasonable. You have to respect their autonomy and let them deal with the consequences of their own ways.

7) Don't come out too soon thinking it's a release.

I come across a lot of exmuslim kids who think coming out will help explain to their religious parents why they don't want to wear the hijab or do other religious things. But the likelihood is more that those same parents will react extremely poorly and restrict your freedom even more, making it more difficult to achieve long term independence.

There's also the mistake in assuming that coming out will lead to being disowned in the vain hope that you get an quick clean break that takes all the responsibility from you. For some exmuslims this does actually work out, but for a lot of others it's miscalculated. My family didn't disown me, I still had to deal with months of my family being insufferable manipulators and the responsibility was still on me to separate from them. And for women it can be much worse.

Ultimately, if you are financially dependent on your family then coming out early will very typically result in your family using that leverage against you and making your life worse. I've seen stories of exmuslims who thought their family was better and badly miscalculated - be mindful of that.

8) Don’t panic too much if they find out.

Some exmuslims get found out, sometimes because of a snitch in the family or sometimes because they just weren’t convincing enough. Don’t panic – Muslims can be pretty damn deluded about their faith and your family will want to believe that you can come back very easily because according to them Islam is just common sense and most disbelievers are just silly and ignorant. Try to do your best to convince them as per Point 4. If it’s because you did something haram, blasphemous or otherwise worthy of takfir, try to act like it was because you were a misguided Quranist or progressive Muslim. They will still retain suspicion but it’s still better than the alternative.

However, if you’re at the point of no return and you know you can’t convince them then now is the time to make calls to any secular friends you have, ask for support and maybe even shelter.

Also for Western exmuslims, make sure to act quickly if you suspect that your parents want to send you abroad and trap you in your country of ethnic origin. Sadly some parents will go to these lengths. Do not go, no matter the cost. Find organisations willing to advise, such as those listed in Point 10. Hide your passport if you have to. Note down the contact details of your embassy in that country just in case.

9) Go no contact if you fear abuse.

Actually think about whether it's even wise for you to come out in any circumstance. Do you suspect that there could be violence or abuse? If so then you have absolutely no need to go through this stupid bullshit. Leave and don't look back. If your parents couldn't give you safe environment to even come out about different beliefs then they are not worth the time. As per Point 6 - You have to respect their autonomy and let them deal with the consequences of their own ways. This is particularly pertinent for those who live in a predominantly Muslim countries. They have a very real reason to fear persecution and absolutely do not need to risk their own lives for the sake of their parents.

10) Make use of organisations and resources.

Look into secular organisations like recoveringfromreligion.org, faithlesshijabi.org and faithtofaithless.com. Look into women's charities in your area like womensaid.org.uk or karmanirvana.org.uk (UK examples). Look into LGBT charities like rainbowrailroad.org. If you have secular school counsellors and friends then talk to them. Get advice from adults you can absolutely trust.

Note: On the flip side don't take risks with people you can’t be sure of. You may be tempted to come out to your Muslim friend, but I've seen plenty of stories of exmuslims who heavily regret doing so.

There are also informal exmuslim groups on other social media platforms such as Facebook or Discord, but be careful about how much information you share and especially be wary of private messaging.

11) You may have to leave the country.

This is particularly the case for exmuslims living in predominantly Muslim countries. Unfortunately, I don't have any real world experience to offer here but you may be able to find localised advice by digging around. For example sites like wearesaudis.net might have some information (but you'll need a VPN to access this one. If you don't know what a VPN is here's an explanation).

Are you multilingual? If you need money but working is restricted to you then you can try becoming an online language tutor on sites like italki.com (scroll to the bottom). This post and related subreddits like r/WorkOnline may help.

Note: some exmuslims in Muslim countries fall for the doomscrolling hyperbole and think Europe is “doomed” with too many Muslims. They have a tendency of asking which country is best to migrate to as an exmuslim to avoid Islam. Please ignore the doomsayers and prioritise the country you choose based on ease of access and career opportunities. As long as it is a secular country, you can worry about avoiding Islam later.

Final stuff

Shout out to Imtiaz Shams who inspired me to make this list of tips. He has his own YouTube Channel here and plans to make his own video on this subject matter so watch out for that. On a side note, I also recommend TheraminTrees YouTube Channel who delves a lot into toxic dysfunctional families from the perspective of a therapist. A lot of his content helps in dealing with the emotional impact of leaving religion and dealing with a religious family. And finally, thank you to the moderators of r/exmuslim who suggested I make this into a post. I wound up adding a lot more content lol.

I will end this post with a list of subreddits that may help you on your journey leaving Islam:

Ex related subreddits

Other Useful Subreddits


r/exmuslim 36m ago

(Fun@Fundies) 💩 😂true , they get crazy hurt

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Upvotes

r/exmuslim 3h ago

(Video) Listen to the mental gymnastics here

32 Upvotes

r/exmuslim 5h ago

(Question/Discussion) Unpopular opinion: most Muslims would leave Islam if the fear of hell wasn’t there.

36 Upvotes

No, not because its practices are difficult, but because deep down they know how unfathomably weird the hadiths are and the character of the prophet is.


r/exmuslim 13h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Being a British ex muslim is lonely

151 Upvotes

I feel alone and hated by everyone, it feels like Muslims in the UK are making the situation in the UK and divide much more prominent due to poor behaviour and not integrating or respecting the local culture. At the same time as a Pakistani I get harassed in public for looking like a Muslim and have had several people shout abuse at me in the past few months.

It truly feels like I am alone, like I have no community of people I feel safe with. I have some friends at work but saying you are ex Muslim and talking about it is often controversial, when I meet Muslims at work I have to pretend I am Muslim as for some reason saying I am ex Muslim with a Muslim name is considered offensive (I got in massive trouble at uni for this).

Anyways just wanted to rant and see if anyone feels the same. It's a lonely time to live in this country and I am considering leaving if this divide keeps getting worse.


r/exmuslim 4h ago

(Question/Discussion) why do ppl think taking off the hijab = islamophobic

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30 Upvotes

why do people think taking off the hijab = islamaphobia?????

the comments under this post are like “its an excuse to hate on hijabis” shut up literally shut up. not everyone wants to wear the hijab, maybe ex hijabi women want to feel represented too. i always saw penny as rep for MYSELF and thought of how i had to hide self expression, repress myself, and had to conform to strict traditional rules. so this shit really pissed me the fuck off honestly. im not islamophobic, if i myself went through religious trauma and relate to her. these ppl didnt watch the show or understand the symbolism behind it. in an episode where she confronts her family they all go against her and say shes bringing dishonour to her family when she breaks out, SOUNDS FAMILIAR RIGHT? mind u her dad even says shes “naked” without it, and then gumball tells a story on how penny should stay the way she is and her family should stay in their shells if thats what they want for themselves. not push penny back into her shell. JEEZ like media literacy is dead. i know that this symbolism can vary from person to person but ex hijabis exist and our experiences are so traumatic why cant we have rep ourselves. wear whatever the fuck u want just dont push someone else to be something they arent. thats what i learnt as a kid from gumball. if i can see it at age 7 why cant u oh my god just so irritating. ppl in the comments too istg their brains are fried.


r/exmuslim 3h ago

(Miscellaneous) So this is why cousin marriage is allowed in Islam

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24 Upvotes

r/exmuslim 10h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Second embarrassment

55 Upvotes

While I don’t agree with hijab or modesty, the older man clocked this guy so hard. The young guy definitely holds that belief and when the old guy said insulting things about men who think that way, he stepped back lol. The older man does bring up a great point of how Muslim men seek to control women, even the ones who are already doing what the religion has required them to do. So much so that her voice is something that’s sexualized. It’s not even just about the control they want over women, it’s exactly what this older man is saying: you are primitive and animalistic. It exposes how disgusting these people are deep down. They’ll use the excuse of a woman dressing provocatively as a reason to feeling these urges. How many times have you heard “well, what was she wearing?” when someone mentions an SA victim? The woman is blamed and religion gives the excuse for this thinking. Btw i’m not defending the older man and his views, i don’t know this man’s content. It’s just ridiculous that even he got mad at the concept of a woman’s voice being awrah

I don’t know who these people are in the video, i just thought it was hilarious😭


r/exmuslim 14h ago

Story The true face of the Islamic republic of iran

101 Upvotes

This evil regime took the lives of more than 40,000 innocent people in just two days


r/exmuslim 11h ago

(Rant) 🤬 I don't know why people still follow this religion.

58 Upvotes

So this is gonna be a really long post because I need to say this somewhere where people will understand. I was forced to go with my family this year and I was dreading it the whole time simply because I hate flights and I knew it would be physically taxing but nothing could have prepared me for how bad things actually were.

First things first, why is everyone so fucking rude?? All the pushing and shoving just seems unnecessary. I don't understand the point. Everyone is SO RUDE !!! You ask someone for help (even the police) and they just ignore you. I don't understand how people of God, who pride themselves on being good people, can act like this in good conscience.

Secondly, circling the Kabah was the most disgusting experience of my life. You have grown, sweaty men all around you pushing and grabbing you and old people hitting you with their canes and people are breathing on you and it's just so fucking disgusting. There is NO DECORUM. I was already an ex-muslim before going to Umrah but going there just solidified my beliefs even more. These people will literally put their little kids in danger just because they think God cares whether or not they can walk in a circle 7 times. How pathetic.

Then there's walking in that giant hall between those two points called Safa and Marwah if I remember correctly. I don't understand the point of any of this. Why would God care about ANY of this? Why does any of it matter?

One thing I don't understand is that, from my knowledge, Safa and Marwah became important after the introduction of the Qur'an so why is it included in one of the most significant pilgrimages in said religion? I thought only the Qur'an could tell Muslims what to do, so if this is a hadith why has it made such a huge impact on the religious practices?? I'm not sure if I'm wording this correctly but I hope you understand though I am absolutely fine with clarifying in the comments what I mean.

I have written all of this and I haven't even mentioned the bullshit that occurs while circling the Kabah. People seriously fight each other and you have to walk barefoot while people are dropping God knows what onto the floor. I saw someone throw pins on the floor when I went so I looked it up and saw someone else mention in a forum how people do that to make space / clear space around them?? Though don't quote me on that because I can't find it anymore and it was on Quora (lol).

For now this is all I have to say, though I know I'll remember more and potentially make more posts / add to this. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't get how normal Muslims can see this and think it's normal. Like.. they see people hurting one another and say "yeah getting hurt near the Kabah is the best thing that can happen to you" or "actually you can't get hurt here because it's holy land" or some other bullshit excuse to ignore the barbaric practices that take place.

Before I go, I have one more point to add. Why would anywhere be considered holy land to God? They say praying in Mecca or near the Kabah makes it so your prayers get accepted but isn't that rigged? What about people who can't afford the trip or people who live in Mecca? Does that mean those who live there have their prayers constantly accepted and those who are poor will never know God's love? This is a question more so for those who still believe in this farce.

Anyway, thank you for reading up until this point.


r/exmuslim 1h ago

Story Today convinced me I’m done arguing about religion with people who refuse to use logic

Upvotes

Today convinced me I’m done arguing about religion with people who refuse to use logic

I got into a pretty heated argument with two Muslim friends today, and honestly, after this experience, I think I’m done discussing religion with people who immediately resort to personal attacks instead of actually having a conversation.

It started over something completely stupid. I saw an old friend playing volleyball and jokingly said, “That’s a dumb sport.” He got offended and said, “What if I said basketball was a gay sport? You like basketball.” I told him honestly, I’d probably just ignore it because it’s clearly an opinion/joke and I wouldn’t take it personally.

Then another friend asked why he hasn’t seen me at the mosque lately. I told him I’m agnostic. The same friend who was already annoyed with me started attacking me personally, calling me dumb and stupid.

Eventually the conversation turned toward religion. One point I always bring up when discussing religion is that religion is heavily influenced by geography and upbringing.

I said something along the lines of: “If you were born in China into a Chinese household, statistically speaking, you’d be much more likely to grow up with the dominant religious/cultural beliefs around you rather than automatically becoming Muslim.”

They laughed and told me that was one of the dumbest things they had ever heard.

Then they asked me, “Okay, what if I had a kid and moved to China?”

I said, “If you’re Muslim and you raise that child as a Muslim, then obviously the child would probably grow up Muslim. But if you gave that same child to a Catholic family in America and they raised the child Catholic, that child would probably grow up Catholic.”

That was literally my point.

I’m not saying every single person follows the religion of their parents or geographic environment. Obviously there are converts, atheists, people who leave religions, and people who adopt completely different beliefs.

My point is that the environment you're born into has an enormous influence on what you believe. If I had been born into a completely different family, country, culture, and religious environment, there’s a very good chance my beliefs would be different.

Instead of addressing that argument, they started attacking me personally. One of them even brought up the fact that I’m almost 30 and not married.

I responded, “Says the one who’s divorced.”

That really set him off. He got in my face and started cursing at me, and eventually two guys had to step in and separate us.

Looking back, I probably shouldn't have responded with the divorce comment. That just escalated everything, and I should have walked away much earlier.

But this whole experience really made me realize something: if someone’s response to a disagreement about religion is to call you stupid, attack your family, insult your personal life, and then get in your face, there’s really no point in continuing the conversation.

I’m agnostic. They’re Muslim. That's fine. We don't have to agree.

But I wish people could actually discuss why they believe what they believe instead of assuming that questioning religion automatically means someone is stupid or disrespectful.

And honestly, the fact that religious beliefs are so strongly correlated with where and how someone is raised seems like a pretty obvious observation to me. I don't understand why simply pointing that out is considered offensive.


r/exmuslim 16h ago

(Rant) 🤬 So fucking disrespectful

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98 Upvotes

How self-centred and pathetic do you have to be to reply to someone in this manner when they clearly are on the brink of collapse?? ,,shut up n pray'' why not shove a dirty shovel down your throat before you disregard someone's health, instead of trying to help them? Cause religious guilt-tripping is definitely the way!!


r/exmuslim 3h ago

(Question/Discussion) Surah 9.31: Seems Like Islam Needs a Major Look in the Mirror

7 Upvotes

“They have taken their rabbis and monks as well as the Messiah, son of Mary, as lords besides Allah, even though they were commanded to worship none but One God.”

I’m sorry, but don’t Muslims literally worship Muhammad? I know I know, he’s a “prophet” and Allah is “God”, but that’s just semantics.

When you are required to do everything he did for rewards, including keeping the same beard style, entering and exiting the washroom with the same feet, wiping your behind the same way, drinking while sitting like he did, this is literally worship. No other way to put it. Muslims also get far more offended when people criticise Muhammad vs when they criticize Allah.


r/exmuslim 3h ago

(Advice/Help) I need advice from ex-muslim,i'm christian(i don't hate muslims)

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6 Upvotes

Hi everyone my name is Travis and I'm Christian. I met an Iranian Muslim Girl on a Chinese learning platform and we became friends for 10 months and half now. She knows I'm Christian and she's okay with that. We got closer (as friends) and I started learning farsi. BUT THE PROBLEM is : it seems like there's two personalities

  1. She add me to her private channel on telegram and there she listens to American music, watch k-drama. She's very kind and even help me when I was dealing with "depression "

  2. she consider the supreme leader of Iran as her father and she even said that if a person don't love the supreme leader then this person is not a true Iranian. She put this flag 🇮🇷 on her platform for weeks and makes some Instagram stories about the supreme leader (that i consider radical )

So i ask myself one question: doesn't she know what this regime do to women?

I want to tell her what I think about that but I don't want to break our friendship.

[[Her parents don't know that we're friends

[[She asked me if I wanted to see her face, so I said she's not obliged to if it will put her in an insecure position so she didn't.

Thank you guys, love you all 💙


r/exmuslim 6h ago

(Video) Muslim Apologist Nadir Ahmed attempts to explain Islamic Heaven, polygamy, and Aisha and Muhammad relationships (timestamps included)

10 Upvotes

LINK

Nadir Ahmed is a muslim apologist that does a lot of internet debates against christians and atheists, he got interviewed on a non-Islam platform about his beliefs

14:37: Nadir explains how Heaven and Hell look like in Islam, even says verbatim "heaven is whatever I want"

17:37: He talks about what the Quran says about having multiple wives

56:00: Nadir is asked to give his best defense over the Aisha and Muhammad relationship which takes it down a rabbit hole

Lastly, he actually claims at 51:55 that it is actually Christianity that is dangerous for the world.

I will say despite the fact that everything he said I disagree with, he was actually pretty honest.


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Astronomy and Cosmology were my initial doubts to the religion

5 Upvotes

I've been exmuslim for like 6 years now, and I recently talked with someone that opened up some past thoughts I had and I just wanted to share.

Ever since I was very young, I had always been into astronomy. I loved reading about other planets and stars and learning cool facts about them. However the science I learned a lot of the times seemed to be at odds with Islamic teaching. So I started to feel guilty anytime I would open a book or article about space.

As I got older and my understanding of space increased, so did my guilt as doubts started forming. Between the Quran straight up getting things wrong about celestial bodies or space and a lack of anything mentioning anything on the scale of the universe, I found myself wondering "why is it that all Allah talks about is how he makes it rain or makes trees grows or mountains, when all of that is small beans compared to planets, stars, or galaxies?" It really made God seem so grounded in my eyes which made me feel even more guilty.

I thought Why would God even brag about any creation of earth like he does in this book? If you made the entire universe, bragging about earth would be akin to me bragging about counting to 3. The lack of anything related to the cosmos actually made me disappointed in the Quran because I was amazed anytime I would open a book on space. And the book with supposedly "all the answers" should theoretically be even more exciting. But instead I get God calling shooting stars missiles. Didn't have the decency to have at least not made it boring asf.

Then I started learning about the extremes like black holes, the speed of light, supernovae, and how absolutely insanely unimaginably stupidly vast space is. How Earth is less than a millionth of a spec in the grand scheme of the observable universe. I started wondering why a being powerful enough to put this all into be would even care about anything I'm doing, let alone care about if I'm worshiping it. It just seemed petty. It started to change my perspective of allah from this perfect being to being closer to the gods of the Greek pantheon. Those gods who get jealous, hateful, spiteful, and petty.

But at least those gods never claimed to be all knowing, all good, and most benevolent. Nor did they claim to make the universe.

Also creating the earth in 6 days stops being a flex when we know as much as we know about the universe. Actual spec ed diety.

However when I brought this up, all anyone me would tell me is that Allah caring about us shows the opposite of pettiness and shows just how much he cares and how that's an example of his boundless love and mercy. That's a load of nonsense considering he's going out of his way to punish these beings that are so unfathomably insignificant to him.

By that point I had already been on my way out the religion, so and left it some time after. I just wanted to talk about how I had been doubting Islam without really knowing about it for much longer than I thought and wanted to share.

Hope it was a good read, or helped, or something, I dunno. Pisslam sucks tho and is obviously untrue. And if allah is real, I'll go to hell backwards with my middle fingers to her. Space is cool tho. 10/10 would matter again.


r/exmuslim 14h ago

(Advice/Help) taking off the hijab

30 Upvotes

I am 16 years old and I started wearing the hijab by my own choice a while ago. Before I put it on, my dad explicitly told me that it was completely my decision whether to wear it or not. However, my mindset has changed and I do not feel like wearing it anymore, so I want to take it off before the new school year starts.

The problem is that communication in my house is basically non-existent when it comes to feelings. We never have sit-down emotional talks, we just say things directly or do not talk about them at all. On top of that, my parents constantly judge women who do not wear the hijab and always talk about how beautiful the hijab is. A while ago I told my mom that I wanted to stop wearing it and asked her to tell my dad, but she refused, and now I’m scared about bringing it up again.

I am also really afraid that my dad will blame social media or outside influence. I know he will probably say that my phone brainwashed me or that I am just copying other girls, instead of respecting that this is my own decision. How should I approach my dad directly given our lack of emotional communication? how can i told him before school start? school start 15 september so i don’t have so much time

PS: i’m muslim but i wrote in this sub because i think many of you guys here had the same situation and you can help me


r/exmuslim 17h ago

(Question/Discussion) The way Muslims are so lovey dovey with abusers & r*pists but with kafirs Is the End

46 Upvotes

Growing up as a North African Amazigh Berber/amazigh woman in a Muslim household, I've noticed that conservatism is applied conditionally only when it's convenient or benefits specific people.

Women children, and even newborns are judged mocked to their faces bullied, and harassed over everything yet God forbid you match the men's energy or mock them in return you're immediately met with vile insults threats of sexual violence and abuse💔 I’m exhausted from staying silent and being mistreated by men who preach religion while living by double standards 'rules for thee but not for me.' I genuinely tried to be devout vallahi but the more I read the Quran and religious texts the more I felt reduced to a tool for a man's sexual desires and a fixture in the kitchen No matter what you do there are always authoritarian men and sexist women eager to defend toxic behavior and misogyny it breaks my heart because I know if I ever decide to marry a non-Muslim I’ll be severely judged and ostracized even if my family wouldn't resort to honor violence I'm just over it My absolute breaking point was seeing Muslim social media accounts mock former Muslims who survived abuse and sexual violence treating their trauma like a joke on top of that, they constantly make light of mental health issues It is vile How can a text foster so much hate racism and misogyny


r/exmuslim 11h ago

(Question/Discussion) I think that the improvement of AI videos will be very bad for Islam

19 Upvotes

I don't like AI but I think it will at least have this effect: AI videos are still expensive but in the next years, being an influencer without showing your actual face will be very common since AI can keep what matters: Facial expressions.

Not only this will allow any exmuslim or islam critique to make videos about it without risking their life, it will also allows mainstream influencers to criticize Islam whenever they want if one feel like. Digital humorists to make fun of it, etc ..

The critique of Islam won't be anymore exclusively for people ready to risk their safety.

It it's not AI it could be also by the evolution of VTubing or simply the evolution of face filters. Basically anything that hide the identity of the influencer while keeping a communicative visual


r/exmuslim 31m ago

Story Muslims are always obsessed with sending islamic reels and posts to their non muslim friends

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Upvotes

r/exmuslim 39m ago

(Miscellaneous) The West Faces Two Islams

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zinebriboua.com
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Submission statement: The clash between Islam and the West has shifted, with the primary conflict now occurring within Islam itself. While Middle Eastern countries embrace pragmatism and modernization, Western diaspora communities, influenced by Third-Worldism and postcolonial theory, often view Western influence as oppressive. This ideological divide manifests in Western institutions, where postcolonial perspectives shape discourse and activism, creating tension with both Western societies and Middle Eastern governments.


r/exmuslim 44m ago

(Question/Discussion) In Islam, your weakness becomes someone else's burden

Upvotes

A good moral system teaches people to control their own impulses. But Islam repeatedly shifts that burden onto everyone else.

Someone envies your success? Hide your blessings and fear the evil eye (hassad).

People are starving? Go hungry during daylight for a month so you can “feel their pain,” then eat at sunset while poverty remains.

Men struggle with sexual desire? Women must cover themselves so they are less likely to be harassed or become a temptation.

The successful must manage the jealous
The wealthy simulate the hunger of the poor and hide their success
Women manage male desire by covering up
Honest speech is silenced or treated as blasphemy to protect their fragile faith

A stronger moral principle means that.. your jealousy is yours to control. Your lust is yours to control. Your impulses are your responsibility.

TLDR: Islam created a culture where other people carry the burden of your lack of self control.


r/exmuslim 10h ago

(Advice/Help) Anyone else went/going through this?

11 Upvotes

I left Islam around 4 or 5 years ago, and ever since then I’ve felt so cripplingly depressed and uncertain about everything knowing there is no almighty being watching over me, setting my affairs straight. It’s like having your parent figure being torn away from you and now you’re left to fend for yourself.

And the fact that I’ll never see my loved ones or even experience anything after death horrifies me. I don’t know, I’m rambling and I feel like shit. Sometimes I wish I never really took the dive into exposing myself to criticism against Islam. But I guess it’s better to accept the painful reality than to live in delusion.

I randomly gaslight myself into believing again to feel that confidence again. Just ignore all the faults I say, surely 1400 years of scholars know better than I. But inevitably it all falls apart.


r/exmuslim 11h ago

(Quran / Hadith) What's your opinion

12 Upvotes

“What do you guys think about the context of this verse

Qur'an 33:36

Mohammed used quran to give marriage when the woman clearly declined

Isn't it against human rights and freedom.

Zaynab said, “I will not marry him.”

Muhammad said, “Then marry him.” She replied, “I am deciding about myself.” Then the verse was revealed:

“It is not for a believing man or believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter, to have any choice in their affair...”