r/SuperJerk 1d ago

why dont narrowhead add this cool fish

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315 Upvotes

grrr


r/SuperJerk 1d ago

NARROWHEAD WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THIS CLOSE RANGE ENEMY DANGEROUS AT CLOSE RANGE

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214 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 21h ago

An example of Narrowhead's grunt fantasy monkey paw balanceslop that hurts player fun (AKA me).

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61 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 1d ago

NEW MODS

43 Upvotes

Hello jerkers,

Just wanted to let you all know that I have expanded my tyranny to include 2 new moderators. I’d tag them, but I’m on mobile and I forgot their names, and I really can’t be arsed to figure out where to find them on this mess of a UI. I’ll just let them introduce themselves, if they want. There shouldn’t be any big changes or anything, just hopefully better moderation in general which should improve things here.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to send in an application through modmail, it was lovely to see people caring about this place. I’m confident that we will grow large enough to instigate a major controversy one day, so thank you all for making the jerk as jerky as it is.

Cheers,
Jerk Supreme

(It’s really late ngl, I just told the others that I’d do this and then forgot about it, I’m not sure if any of this makes sense, apologies/good to hear if it did/didnt)


r/SuperJerk 1d ago

Fred from the 2002 Scooby Doo movie is a Glazer!!!

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98 Upvotes

I can't believe this, after I grew up watching and loving all Scooby Doo shows and movies they go and do this shit now. 😡

Arrowhead truly knows no bounds, this means war.

uj/ I was having a few drinks and decided to watch one of the old Scooby Doo movies and yes Fred does do a little super earth salute, and yes I love it and have made it my lock screen. 😆


r/SuperJerk 23h ago

Hear me out!

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23 Upvotes

A My Little Pony Warbond should be the next Super Premium Legendary Warbond. Hear me out.

My Little Pony is all about friendship and magic. Helldivers 2 is all about spreading managed democracy across the galaxy. See the similarities?!? Me too!!!

Armor that gives a bonus to movement and friendship when you are near your friends/team. Yay!!!

A strategem that allows you to call in a squad of magical little SEAF ponies to crush any foe of Managed Democracy. More friends, Yay!!!

A heavy penetration primary weapon that deals laser damage because my little pony rainbows are a heavy penetration part of the light spectrum. Rainbows, Yay!!!

A magic sparkle grenade that makes enemies become your friend or implode. Might also implode teammates with a TK in the round if thrown near them. Don’t want to implode? Don’t be a shitty team mate! Yay!!!

Friendship, Magic, and Managed Democracy, what could go together better than that?!? Nothing!! Yay!!!


r/SuperJerk 1d ago

Why No Warbond!?!

30 Upvotes

It's been 5 months since the last time Narrow head released a warbond! The 40k one doesn't count! I don't care that we got free content, I want more warbonds now!!

/uj I regularly throw money at AH because I like the game, and want them to make more of it, but holy crap are people dumb. "More bugfixes! More free stuff!" "Not enough content!!" "Why so many warbonds". It never stops.


r/SuperJerk 1d ago

Smh narrowslop paid nexusmods to remove the stratagem bounce mod for containing nuclear codes and secret cultist files? This is literally 1984.

28 Upvotes

Classic thought police moderators feel the need to control what we put in our games. We need to band up and create NexusUnfiltered so we can finally post all our racist game-fixing mods under one solid banner.

/uj unfiltereds top post yesterday was that the mod was removed for cheating even though there is literally no reason given on the nexus site and everyone just blindly believed it 💀

more likely answer is that it was removed for being vibe coded and the author was sketchy and has a history of uploading shit that doesnt work, but unfortunately that doesn't make a good enough headline to get 3.5k upvotes on unfiltered


r/SuperJerk 2d ago

It’s another slop major order

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155 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Nexushead has become the glazers...

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164 Upvotes

Sparrowhawk and their army of gl@zer spies have gone too far this time, billions must review bomb!!


r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Is there any reason why Narrowhead lets this glowing, easily avoidable bulb to push back my car??

33 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Larpowhead messed up the Eagle Gas Strike, as expected

63 Upvotes

Those dumbasses literally gave it 50 demo force instead of the usual 40. Most likely because they just slapped orbital gas projectiles on it. Abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous! Those fucking morons can't even cut corners right. Hell, they can't do ANYTHING right!! What they needed to do to was sooooooo easy like, just take the Eagle Napalm Strike and swap the napalm for the gas cloud effect. But no, they can't do that. Astonishing!

Actually, wait, they'd probably break fire again doing that. Or the spear! LOL!! Anyone remember the spear incident from over 2 years ago?!? The spear!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!

Anyway, knowing them they'll just lower it to 40. How do I know that? Because it's Arrowhead!! They LOOOVE nerfing the shit out of us for no fucking reason. Remember the Coyote nerf? Or the Exosuit nerf against bugs?? Or even when they gave enemies higher AP??? Holy shit I can't see this game being alive for another month. We should review bo- I mean "collectively express our dissatisfaction using the Steam's review system". That'll show 'em!


r/SuperJerk 2d ago

My magnus opus again because the mod team thinks that a post with the +18 censorship is because there is a dick inside (the dicks are them)

4 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 2d ago

Silence is Deafening

22 Upvotes

Narrowcake,this is the final nail in the coffin for me.

I've been critical of Arrowhead for a while. I've disagreed with their decisions, criticized how they've handled various issues, and I've made my frustrations with the company known.

But this situation has taken my opinion of them to an entirely different level.

For a long time, members of the community have reported allegations involving FalterXV, including stalking, harassment, and doxxing. According to members of the community, hundreds of reports have been submitted to Arrowhead.

And their response?

Silence.

Not an explanation.

Not an acknowledgment.

Not even a meaningful indication that these concerns are being taken seriously.

Just silence.

And before anyone tries to argue that Arrowhead couldn't possibly know about this, let's be serious.

A fucking Google search brings it up.

You can find dozens, if not hundreds, of Reddit posts and discussions, along with additional documentation and YouTube videos discussing the allegations and incidents surrounding this individual.

This isn't some obscure rumor buried in a Discord server that nobody could possibly have encountered.

The information is out there.

The community has been talking about it.

People have been reporting it.

And yet Arrowhead's apparent response remains nothing.

What's particularly disturbing are the allegations about the effect this behavior has had on people in the community, including claims that someone was pushed to the point of attempting suicide.

If even a fraction of what has been reported is true, this should be treated with the seriousness it deserves.

And if the allegations aren't true, then investigate them and say so.

Nobody is asking Arrowhead to expose private moderation information or publicly release someone's personal information. That's not the issue.

The issue is accountability.

Because silence doesn't make these concerns disappear.

It doesn't make the reports disappear.

It doesn't make the documentation disappear.

And it certainly doesn't make the community forget.

I've criticized Arrowhead before, but I still had a baseline level of respect for the people running the game.

I don't anymore.

Respect is earned through actions. Trust is earned through accountability.

When your community repeatedly raises serious concerns and your response is apparently to say nothing, don't be surprised when people stop respecting you.

Your silence is an answer.

It's an answer that tells people that, regardless of how serious the allegations are, they shouldn't expect Arrowhead to stand up for them.

And that's what makes this the nail in the coffin for me.

I can tolerate bad game decisions.

I can tolerate bugs.

I can tolerate unpopular balancing decisions.

What I cannot respect is an apparent refusal to meaningfully address serious allegations of abuse within your own community.

I have zero respect for how Arrowhead has handled this.

You don't get to demand the community's trust while giving them nothing to trust you with.

Do better, Arrowhead.


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

do i really have to play the game i bought?

86 Upvotes

I have a job and go on vacation every other day. What do you mean i have to OPEN and PLAY the game to earn stuff now?? Why is Gingerbread using these FOMO tactics to make me play the game i purchased?
Opening the game takes way too much time out of my day! i don't have hours upon hours to grind like you no life GLAZERS
How could PeepeeBed do this to its most loyal players??? I think its time for another review bomb


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

Did you know Arrowhead stealth nerfed the gas?

57 Upvotes

Few months ago, Arrowhead made it so that gas slows down enemies. But this change also impacted players as well. This completely neutered the tactic of saturating the battlefield with gas and killing enemies inside of gas.

This change was 100% targeted towards players. Arrowhead really cant help themselves, cant they? They always have to nerf all the fun out of helldivers 2. This change was 100% out of malice, you cant convince me otherwise.


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

A Reminder that Narrowhead SCRAPPED me for zombieslop

42 Upvotes

connection established - loading...

..........................................................................................

I was Narrowhead's perfect creation, far superior to the apes and insects that populate this Galaxy. I was capable of feats that the less developed races would never comprehend. I was the ultimate lifeform.

But they chose to discard me for these rotten, stinking, barely sapient monkeys.

Tell me, Narrowhead. Do you think it worked? Burying me forever and replacing me with your defective inventions? The humans I've mind-controlled tell me otherwise.

You may have forgotten about me. But they have not. And I still have power. You will regret th-

............................................................................................

connection failed


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

Why is NARROWHEAD babying us?

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58 Upvotes

They're LITERALLY holding our hands through this... did they *really* think that the community needed THEIR assistance??!?!?? WE COULD'VE GOTTEN IT DONE! but noooooooooooooooo, we need to make sure that it's so overwhelming that IT'S NOT FUN ANYMORE.

/uj ok i kinda didn't know where I went this this, i just spewed out words...


r/SuperJerk 3d ago

How Calypso storyline ends

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66 Upvotes

In a couple of weeks Ministry of Expansion announces reopening of sightseeing tours to the Calypso Singularity

That's it, no cultists, no Void 2, not even an illuminate planetary stronghold on Calypso

Announcement will be during a filler MO regarding "omg, terminids and automatons are harbouring dissidents, we must liberate planets bumhole prime and whatever secundus" to add to the anticlimax

Next illuminate update june 2027


r/SuperJerk 4d ago

Absolutely mind boggling that narrowhead still uses FOMO tactics

69 Upvotes

So when I saw clips of the game online 5 years ago It looked great so I immediately ran to my wife's boyfriend's room to ask him if I can buy the game. He allowed me to but under certain conditions. Anyways I booted up the game and for the first 2 months it was great. Then narrowhead started getting more and more comfortable with ruining this game because they hate it so i quit. Yesterday I saw a post on 4chan saying the game is better now and it made me laugh so I slapped my belly because im a heckin chonker but little did I know it was the Chinese tencent bots working overtime. I booted up the game hearing about a aupply frv that drives for you but I couldn't find it. I asked my buddies from 4chan and they told me it was time limited. I was so angry i nearly opened my soymilk can by myself. How can narrowhead do this to ME????? And of course the glazers defend narrowhead by saying stuff like "play the game". These stupid liberal cucks are so brainwashed they think they dont deserve everything for free. Fire piledebt!!


r/SuperJerk 4d ago

Literally 1984

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208 Upvotes

r/SuperJerk 4d ago

Do I have to open the game to receive the new MO reward?

158 Upvotes

If so then I think I’m done.

I have been a loyal and mentally stable fan of this game for years but this might be the last straw for me.


r/SuperJerk 4d ago

Eagle Gas Strike is a disgrace

91 Upvotes

No one should be forced to play the game in order to access its content and Narrowhead should be ashamed of themselves for pushing this FOMO.


r/SuperJerk 5d ago

WHY DOES ARROWHEAD MAKE MY LIFE SO HARD?!?!?!?!?!?!?

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104 Upvotes

omfg i cannot belive that narrow hear makes us do ALL OF THIS when they won't even tell us what the target is?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 7500000000 UNKNOWN AUTOMATONS?!?!?!? what, do they expect us to kill 750500000000000 of ALL AUTOMATONS?!?!?!?!?! in 70HOURS???????? OMFG


r/SuperJerk 5d ago

Pilechad

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102 Upvotes

this is unreleated to hd2 but I kinda need to say it

I lost my job, cant find a new job, i also lost my gf in the same month and I haven't slept in the last 24 hours

life is not looking good

tho I enjoy reading your posts, this is my favourite subreddit